Everyone pitched in to make a huge Christmas dinner with all the trimmings, and then helped to clean it all up when it was over. Afterward, they went to Slade’s house to watch A Christmas Story in his theater room. The movie was funny, but Kit couldn’t keep her eyes open and when Isabel noticed, she suggested Kit go into the bedroom next door to rest on a real bed.
As she led her in, Isabel mentioned, “This is actually Rossen’s room. He lives here with Slade, but I’m sure he won’t mind letting you rest for a few.” Kit glanced around in interest. Rossen always seemed to be around his parent’s house, but then so did Isabel and Slade, and she knew his office was there. Kit had, had no idea he didn’t live there. Looking around, she got a whole new sense of who Rossen was. On the wall were his Petroleum Engineering degree and a plaque about serving a mission to Peru. There was a photo of him whitewater rafting with his family and Slade, and another of him posing beside a massive, dead bear with a bow.
When she saw the huge gold belt buckle on the dresser that held the title World Champion Team Roper she couldn’t even believe it! She picked it up to finger the intricate design and was surprised by its weight. She knew they'd been on the way home from a big rodeo the night they'd rescued her. Everyone had been talking about it a lot, but world champion? He’d never even mentioned it.
She wondered if she'd somehow taken some of the importance of it away by showing up in his life that night. She knew he’d spent the next three days beside her in the hospital. He hadn’t had any chance to celebrate. She was feeling decidedly guilty about it all when he knocked.
She stood there holding the buckle in her hand as he looked in. “You’re a world champion and I didn’t even know.” Her voice was low and miserable as she looked up at him with sad eyes. “It was the night you found me, wasn’t it?” He nodded and she went on, “I’m so sorry. You were sitting in a hospital room when you should have been celebrating the accomplishment of your life.” She looked down and her shoulders drooped. She felt like she'd messed up something priceless.
He touched her arm and she looked up at him. “It’s okay. All we were doing was coming home. It sounds ungrateful, I know, but we were tired and just wanted to come back to the mountains. The only plans I had were to eat, shop and watch football.”
She looked down again. “And you never even got to do that.”
He lifted her chin. “I did something much more satisfying than any of those things. It’s been nice to be needed. Helping you was important to me. Don’t begrudge me that.” She still felt terrible about it all.
He changed the subject. “I brought you something. I didn’t want to give it to you in front of everyone because it’s kind of personal. I hope you can understand and take it in the spirit it’s given.” Now he had her worried.
He pulled a small package and card out to give to her. “I hope you’re not offended, but I wanted to make sure you knew . . . ” He hesitated. “I wanted to make sure you remembered that even though your foster father uh abused you, it wasn’t your fault. You're still the same sweet virtuous girl you would have been, had you been raised under better circumstances.”
She looked up in surprise and her eyes were wide as they searched his. Could he really believe this? How could it be true after what she had been through? Her foster father had made her feel filthy and worthless and used up.
He must have been able to see her thoughts in her eyes, because he said, “Our Father in Heaven knows your heart, Kit. He doesn’t blame you for the wrongs others have done you. Neither should anyone else. In His eyes you're still clean and pure and chaste, and I want to make sure you see yourself that way too.” He pushed the card and tiny box into her hand. “I know that kind of abuse sometimes messes people up. And I’m sure I have no idea what you’re dealing with. But, in just this short ten days I’ve come to know you’re a good person. I have no doubt that you are indeed a virtuous woman.”
Her eyes filled with wonder as she watched him. She could see that he really believed that. It was a completely foreign concept to her. For so long she had felt used and dirty. She could hardly even wrap her brain around this. She still looked at him as she opened the card.
It read, “Who can find a virtuous woman, for her price is far above rubies. King David, Proverbs 31:10”
Slowly she opened the small box, trying to see through the tears that welled in her eyes. A small gold ring containing a single brilliant ruby lay on a bed of black velvet. She looked up at him as the tears overflowed and trailed down her cheeks.
He was flustered. “Don’t cry again. This is a happy gift!” He looked around as if for something to wipe her tears and finding nothing, gently wiped her face with his fingers. He folded her into a gentle hug and spoke against her hair, “I have no idea what to do when you do this.”
That wasn’t true. He knew to hug her which was exactly what she needed although she hadn’t known that until she came here and had done the counseling research. She struggled to control her emotions. “I’m sorry.” She spoke against his chest, “I don’t usually cry this much. At home I never cried. Ever. Naomi says it’s the baby. It might be the on-line counseling stuff. I don’t know. It’s just that I thought this whole virtuous thing was hopelessly gone forever.” She raised her head. “Are you sure God still thinks I’m okay, even pregnant?”
He smiled and hugged her tighter. “Yes. I’m sure.”
At length, he pulled away. “I want you to wear it and when you look at it, always remember that you are worth far above rubies. And someday, when some jerk insinuates otherwise, you’ll always know what God and Rossen know--that Kit is a virtuous woman, of infinite worth. Deal?” He put his fist out to meet hers like a high five.
“Deal.”
“Good.” He ruffled her hair again. “Take your nap.” He turned and left the room, and she lay down on top of the covers to contemplate her ruby ring. She drifted off in wonder. Could it really be true? She knew she could trust Rossen, so it must be.
****
Kit opened her eyes and for a second she wasn’t sure where she was. Then she remembered Rossen’s room and the ruby ring. She lay there for a moment wondering why the house was now dark and silent and she noticed that his bedroom smelled faintly like him. It was a combination of aftershave and leather and something uniquely Rossen. Somehow it was comforting. She climbed off the bed, slipped on her shoes and went to see where everyone was.
She found Rossen alone in the theater room working on his lap top. At first he didn’t know she was there and she watched him work, his long brown fingers flying over the keyboard, his concentration intense. She wondered what he was working on. He'd told her he was a petroleum engineer slash cowboy. Then, she’d thought he was teasing, but she’d come to know he’d been serious. She didn’t know the first thing about either subject and wished she knew more about his life.
She must have made a sound because he looked up and smiled. Finishing what he was doing, he shut down his computer. “Ready to go?”
Trying to comb out her hair with her fingers she asked, “Where is everyone?” The house felt deserted.
“They went back to my parents after the movie, but I didn’t want to wake you. Did you rest okay? We were being kind of rowdy in the second movie. They were watching Remember the Titans, and kept singing along.”
“Second movie? What time is it? How long did I sleep?” She yawned and stretched.
“You must have been tired. It’s seven forty five. You’ve been asleep for almost four hours. Everyone else left about an hour ago.”
She smiled guiltily. “I didn’t use to need so much sleep. I feel almost lazy. I think the baby must make me tired.”
He headed up the stairs grinning. “Sure. Blame it on the baby. What are you going to name her?”
Right behind him on the stairs, she questioned, “Her? What makes you think it’s a her?”
He waited for her at the top. “I don’t know. I just always picture a girl, with pretty dark hair like her
mother. Where did you get the dark hair? Were your biological parents Hispanic?”
She shook her head. “My father was half Papago Indian. My real name is Kitawna Star. Kitawna is a native word meaning valuable."
“It’s a pretty name. It fits you.” He helped her on with her coat. “What do you think the baby is?”
They went through to the garage. “I don’t know. Sometimes I don’t even dare wonder.” She hesitated. “It sounds awful, but sometimes I worry it will remind me of my foster father. Is that terrible?”
“No, it’s not terrible.” He helped her up into his truck. “You feel how you feel. I can see how you wouldn’t want a reminder, but you should try to think positive. If you don’t think you want to put her up for adoption, then try to be excited for her. Picture yourself thrilled with her. I’m sure the rest of us will be.”
She mused almost to herself, “Sometimes when I think about it, it’s hard to even believe this is all real. A year ago I still felt like a child. Now I’m going to have one.” She picked at the edge of her cast. “If I think too much it scares me to death. How will I take care of a baby? How will I even know how to mother it?”
She could hear the worry in her own voice and he reached over to squeeze her hand. “You’re gonna do just fine. You’re kind and smart, and you’ve learned what you don’t want. There’ll be lots of people to help, and I believe our Father in Heaven gives moms special inspiration all their own to know what their children need. I think what some people call mother’s intuition is actually specific inspiration for their families. I’m sure He’ll send it to you if you ask.” What he was telling her sounded just like what Naomi had been trying to explain to her as they cooked that morning.
He continued, “I worry more about it being physically healthy, as thin as you are. Did you ever make your prenatal appointment?”
She was slow to answer and finally said, “I have no money for it and how would I get there?” She looked up at him, feeling troubled.
He glanced at her and back to the snowy driveway. “I thought we already talked about this, and you agreed to let me help you.” Pulling into his parent’s garage, he shut off the truck. When she didn’t answer him immediately, he quietly prompted her, “Talk to me Kit. What’s going on in that head of yours?” She looked up, but still didn’t answer. He went on gently, “Didn’t you already agree to let me and my family help you until you could get your feet under you?”
She nodded and said the faintest, “Yes.”
He put a finger under her chin and looked into her eyes. “So what’s bothering you then?”
With a stronger voice, she said, “It’s just hard. Sometimes I don’t feel like I should use your money and live here, and act like I belong when I’m not even in your family. Naomi talked to me yesterday about this and I know I need to accept your help. It’s just hard for me to feel like such a burden.”
“I know you feel that way, Kit, but what are the options? You can’t go back.”
He went on, “My family would rather die than have you go on welfare, but even if that’s what you wanted, it would still take documentation you haven’t got. Even a job would need ID and stuff, and I don’t think you should go anywhere near your foster father, at least until you’re eighteen and he would have no control over you.”
Shaking his head, he continued, “Even if you did get a job, it would mean a long commute or an apartment somewhere, and you’d be alone. It would still be hard to make ends meet, especially with a cast and getting further along with your baby. We’d all worry sick about you. My mother would never forgive herself.”
His voice softened, and he was almost pleading, “Wouldn’t it be better to stay with us? Let us help you. We’ll find a way to get your high school diploma. Once the baby’s here and your cast is off and you’re eighteen, we’ll help you get to college and make a living.” His tone changed, “What if we found something for you to do here to help so you didn’t feel like a burden at all? Or could you accept help now and help someone else in turn, once you’re established?”
She turned toward him. “You make it all sound so logical, but I’m still a little uncomfortable.”
He leaned back against the door thinking, and finally said, “Then do it for your baby.”
Only considering it for a second or two, she answered, “Okay.”
He undid their seatbelts. “Good! It’s the right thing to do. Good moms have prenatal care. It’s your first thing to do in raising her right.”
He came around to help her out. “How much have you driven in snow?”
Taking her hand, he tucked it around his arm to help her up the steps into the house as she answered, “I’m sorry, I’ve never driven, in snow or otherwise. I’ve never had a chance to.” She was embarrassed, but admitted, “Driver’s Ed was extra money and they wanted me home to work in the motel anyway. I’m definitely planning to learn though.”
The muscles in his jaw tightened, but his voice was kind as he said, “We’ll teach you, although snowy mountain roads are probably not the best start. For the time being, one of us will take you to the doctor. Go ahead and make your appointment. It’s important.”
As they walked into the house, she faced him. “You’re right, but can I take you up on finding ways to help so I don’t feel like so much bother?”
“Absolutely.”
Chapter 5
That holiday week flew by in a flurry of family activities and outings. They had board game all-nighters and movie marathons. They went into a nearby town and rented ice skates and skated in the dark on the town pond while Kit watched from a bench to the side near a huge bonfire.
Sometimes they took snowmobiles out to check stock and then they’d play on them in the fields and hill climb. Kit had never been on a snow machine and at first had no idea how to lean to make them turn better. She rode behind Rossen and Joey and began to get the hang of it. Finally Rossen took her to an open meadow of deep powder and played so hard that she almost fell off behind him and he knew it. She could only really hold on with her right hand and as he made a hard turn she slid. Only his sudden grab saved her from toppling into the snow and her heart raced as she clung to him until he had her securely back behind him. Had she not been pregnant she would have reveled on riding wild, but she worried about the tiny person growing inside her and asked to be taken back home.
When they got there and Cooper mentioned what happened, Naomi put her hands on her hips and laid into Rossen, “Rossen Robert Rockland! Don’t you dare be so rough with her! She has to be extremely careful right now. Think how you would feel if something happened to her baby.” His face was so penitent that it made Kit laugh and it helped to ease the tension.
That night as Kit was heading to bed, he caught up with her in the hall and said, “Kit, I’m sorry again for being too out of control today. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine. We’re fine.” She smiled shyly. “Actually, it was really fun. I just sometimes forget I’m somebody’s mother now and it brings a whole new set of rules. I’m sorry Naomi got upset with you.”
He put his hand on her shoulder. “She was right, and I deserved it. I’m just glad you’re both okay. I’ll do better. I promise.”
****
The next day was Sunday and this time Kit went with the family to church. Joey helped her decide what to wear and styled her hair, then she just loaded in with them all and they headed out. She'd never been inside a church in her life and had no idea what to expect, but she'd come to love and respect the Rocklands. She'd already decided that whatever it was they believed that made them the happy, honorable, good people they were, was great with her.
She wanted the values they lived in her life and her child’s life, and she knew much of what she appreciated about them stemmed from their religious beliefs. The stark difference between the lifestyle she was living here with them and the world she'd known before, was to her a no-brainer. What they had was so much better than the rest of society,
that she was thrilled to have the opportunity to be included.
Although Kit had often been timid in the past around others, her self esteem had blossomed so much here in Wyoming because of Rossen’s family, that she walked into church that morning with confidence and curiosity, rather than trepidation. And even though everything was completely new to her, she knew she was a quick study and that it would all come together for her eventually. In the meantime, she intended to soak it all up like a sponge.
They were on their way back out of the church headed for the car, when she asked Rossen, “So what do I have to do to become a member of your church?” Slade and Isabel were walking with them and when Rossen stopped in his tracks and was all but speechless, Slade elbowed him and laughed.
Slade turned to Kit and said, “Isabel and I got just about the same reaction when we asked him that, too!”
Rossen was still staring at Kit. “How do you know you want to become a member? This is your first day. You just told me you’ve never been inside a church. How can you even make a decision yet?” He was looking at her like she'd lost her mind.
Kit calmly asked him, “Is there a problem with me becoming a member?”
“No. Of course not, but Kit, this is a big decision. It can’t be taken lightly. You have to know what you’re getting into before you decide. You have to base your decision on something.”
“I have based my decision on something. Fruit. This is a fruit thing. You know. By their fruits ye shall know them thing. I don’t have to dissect the tree to tell if it has good fruit. This church has good fruit and I want to be a part. As soon as I can, so my baby can enjoy the fruit too.”
Rossen still hadn’t even closed his mouth by the time they reached his truck. Slade and Isabel were silently watching, both of them smiling from ear to ear. Rossen didn’t say a thing as he tossed his keys to Slade and began to help Kit up into the rear seat. He climbed up in beside her and helped her buckle her seat belt. Then in turn, buckled his own. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again three times before he finally just left it closed.
Above Rubies (Rockland Ranch) Page 6