Above Rubies (Rockland Ranch)

by Jaclyn Hawkes

  It was an exciting lifestyle and she was almost envious of Isabel’s opportunity to travel with them the last year. That’s how she and Slade had met, when they hired her to help them.

  Watching Rossen and Slade rope together was incredible. She’d loved watching them at home, but in competition there was a whole new level of focus that was awesome to see. The men and their horses were in perfect harmony, and it was like watching a finely tuned outdoor ballet. The attention the announcers always gave them because of their ranking as reigning world champions thrilled her to hear it every time.

  After being with them for the better part of a week and watching how much they enjoyed this, she had to wonder why they stopped. One day she asked Rossen and his face clouded for a second. It was as if he didn’t know for sure or perhaps just didn’t know how to voice it. He finally settled for, “It was time. We just wanted to come home.”

  Kit noticed that even with Mimi and Isabel’s wedding ring, when she and Joey and Isabel went places, they attracted a lot of attention. Somehow it was very good for her ego. Of course, all the Rockland men attracted their own brand of chaos, and that was a little hard on her heart. Still, after it all, what she saw in Rossen’s face when he saw them coming, made everything okay.

  Finally, much too soon, they all went back home and to business as usual.

  Kit was getting closer to having her sculptures bronzed. She'd begun building the actual larger than life models in an empty shed and was pleased with how they were coming along.

  The Rocklands had hired some extra men to help with the farming and cows. There was one who made Kit markedly uncomfortable when he was around. She tried to stay clear away from him, but he was always showing up when she didn’t expect it and she was coming to be afraid of him. When he found where she was working on her sculptures, she went to Rossen and asked him to tell him to stay away from her. After that things got better for a while, and then he went back to practically stalking her again.

  One day, as she was saddling her horse at the hitch rack in front of the indoor arena, she felt a hand on her shoulder and instinctively she knew it was him. She could feel herself try to shrink into the dark, safe place where she'd tried to go whenever her foster father came near her like this, and she couldn’t seem to remember any of the counseling tips she’d studied so carefully. The despair she suddenly felt was worse than ever, because of the many months of safety and respect she'd lived with here. It made her feel absolutely defeated.

  When he addressed her, she felt compelled to face him. “Hey, Kit.” He looked her over with a grin that made her want to throw up. “Baby, you’re looking better everyday since you had that kid. What say you and me go work on another one sometime?” She was immediately sick to her stomach and looked down at her hands.

  What she saw there changed her whole heart in an instant. She looked at the small gold ring with its brilliant ruby catching the sun and she remembered the words Rossen had said to her the day he gave it to her. “And someday when some jerk insinuates otherwise, you’ll always know what God and Rossen know. That you are a virtuous woman of infinite worth.”

  Suddenly she was mad. Fire in the belly mad. Deep, white hot, searing mad and as she looked at that ring, she doubled up her fist and turned and hit him with it like she’d never dreamed of striking another human being. She put everything she had into it and he wasn’t expecting it when it came. She hit him square in the eye as hard as she could swing and knocked him flat on his butt. Then she climbed on her horse, turned it toward the hills and took off as fast as she dared run this close to the house.

  As she went over the hill and out of sight, she turned in the saddle to look back and saw him still laying there with a couple of the guys looking on. Rossen was right. And man, was she grateful he’d given her that ring.

  ****

  When Kit took off, Sean walked out of the arena and Rossen appeared from the shed beside it. Sean went to tear into the guy, but Rossen stopped him. “Easy, she’s looking back. She needs to know she can handle stuff like this.” Sean looked at him like he was crazy.

  Rossen calmly spoke to the man who was slowly getting to his feet. “I don’t know what you said to her, but you musta had it coming. Come up to the house and draw your time.”

  Sean broke in, “I know what he said to her, and I don’t care who's watching. I’m gonna beat his face in.”

  “No, you’re not.” Rossen was watching her horse go over the hill. “'Cause I am.” He tore into the hand with a fury he’d never unleashed before and Sean was the one who tried to pull him off. Rossen finally backed off when Ruger came over to help Sean.

  Rob and Slade showed up and escorted the man off the ranch and outside the security gates. When he turned to walk away down the gravel road, Slade said, “That black eye belongs to Kit and you ought to 'fess up to it when people ask, or the Rocklands might find you and finish the job.”

  An hour later when Kit came back to the house, she picked up the baby and took her to the couch to feed her. Naomi came in and asked, "Are you okay? Rob said there was a problem with one of the hands today.”

  Kit looked up at her, unsure of what to say. “It was the strangest thing. When he put his hand on me, it was like back with my foster father all over again and I almost thought for a minute that I had to take it. Then when I looked down and saw my ring, I knew I didn’t have to take anything. I think I hit that guy with all the pent-up anger from the first eighteen years of my life. I almost feel bad. I hit him right in the eye as hard as I could.”

  “Rob said you laid him out on his fanny. Are you okay?”

  Kit rubbed her knuckles. “Hand’s sore. But my infinite worth is intact.”

  Chapter 11

  That week, Naomi got word from the authorities in Arizona that Kit’s foster father had been arrested and released on bail. Three separate dates had been set to try him for the charges she'd filed. Naomi and Rossen were also pleased to learn that when the police had gone to serve the warrants on him, they'd suspected a problem. They had subsequently searched his home and motel and found a fully functioning meth lab in a back room. Those charges had been added to the original charges, and his wife had also been arrested and released on bail.

  The same day Naomi got this information, the security people at the locked gates outside the Rockland Ranch signed for some paperwork from another attorney in Arizona. It was the service of a countersuit brought by Kit’s foster father for custody of the baby he'd tried to force Kit to abort.

  Naomi read the legalese in disgusted silence, and Rossen reacted with a deep seated, slow burning anger. What kind of monster was this guy?

  Naomi figured there had to be a reason for the man’s interest in the baby and she started to dig. What she found was that there had been some one-time Indian moneys from a record year’s earning at the reservation casinos set aside for members of the Apache Nation and the baby was eligible for a portion of it. This man had already taken possession of the money awarded to Kit, and now he wanted the baby’s share. Naomi was furious. Apparently this guy really did think he was untouchable.

  Rossen was angry, but he watched over Mimi and Kit with a whole new level of diligence. The thought of Kit and little Mimi Star in this guy’s custody was sickening and he was horrified all over again at the thoughts of what Kit’s life had been like then.

  When he broke the news to Kit, his respect for her grew as she resolutely took the information without undue fuss. Rossen did notice when she held Mimi that she didn’t ever want to let go.

  ****

  Cooper got his mission call to Paraguay. He was due to leave the last week in August and the whole family was helping get him ready. It was a strange combination of emotions. They would have all been so disappointed if he'd chosen not to go, but the thought of living without his particular brand of sparkle was devastating. Kit knew she would miss him desperately. She'd come to adore him, even when he teased her mercilessly.

  One night when it was ju
st them, she tried to tell him what life without the gospel was like. She didn’t know if she'd made him understand, but at least he knew she felt incredibly grateful for the gift the gospel had been to her.

  Kit was as good as her word when she told Naomi she would think about college. She spent weeks stewing over it, but nothing made it feel possible. She knew she was smart and was immensely grateful for that. Her intelligence had been the one bright spot in her life as a foster child. She could bury herself in school or books and experience things she felt she would never have the opportunity to do in real life by reading about them. It was the only thing she'd felt like she could compete in with the other “normal” kids from regular homes.

  And in that area of Arizona, largely populated with Native Americans and their cultural norms, books and the internet had opened her eyes to whole facets of the world and society that she never would have known about had she only dealt with the people and ideas right there.

  Maybe that’s why the thought of college had been such a big burn for her. She knew there was so much more out there, but then again, maybe that’s why she was content to accept her life as a new mother and let the dream of a higher education go. She knew that wherever she was, she would always be able to search and learn on her own as long as there were books and a computer. In the last months she'd truly come to understand that love, security, and respect were of vastly greater importance than anything or anyplace else.

  She'd promised Naomi she would seriously think about college, and she had. But Mimi and money, and if she were honest, the thought of leaving Rossen behind all made her come to a decision that if she ever attended college it would be far in the future when her daughter went as well. And her decision wasn’t all based on her own wants and needs. The way Rossen had come to love Mimi made Kit realize that separating the two of them was out of the question. It would be detrimental to both of them to an extent that she would never consider college worth the cost. Sometimes she wondered if Rossen didn’t love Mimi more than she did. She loved her dearly, but he openly adored her daughter in a manner that she could hardly comprehend. And the baby girl was as happy and content to be held and cuddled by him as could possibly be.

  All these thoughts filled her head as she went about her days and finally she'd made up her mind. She took her decision to her Father in Heaven to know for sure that not going was indeed the right course for her to take. Over her time here she’d gained a sure knowledge that God was watching over her and that if she asked like Rossen and Naomi had counseled He would answer her questions.

  She prayed about not attending college and pondered it while she lay trying to go to sleep, but for some reason she was unable to relax and rest. Knowing she would be up again nursing the baby, she was frustrated at her restlessness, but the more she stressed over it the more wakeful she became.

  This wasn’t like her. New motherhood had been a tiring experience. She’d been breastfeeding Mimi almost exclusively because the things she had read and been told by both of their doctors indicated that it was much better for Mimi in the long run. Kit didn’t mind nursing, but it meant no one could fill in for her when she needed a break, and sometimes she had to literally drag herself awake in the night to calm her hungry child. They’d given Mimi a bottle a few times just to make sure she'd take one in a pinch and she did fine, but Kit’s role as chief food supply sometimes wore her out, so she tried harder than ever to get to sleep.

  It wasn’t working. Her mind just kept going over the idea of going to college and the pros and cons of both sides, and when she finally did drift off, she wrestled with higher education in her dreams.

  When she woke up to realize the sun was starting to rise and she hadn’t fed Mimi, she felt both guilty and dead tired. She went to the cradle with bleary eyes and for just a moment was terrified when she found it empty. Then she thought of Rossen and went in search of them, knowing he had again rescued them both in the night.

  He was asleep in the recliner with a very happy, small girl snuggled under a blanket on his shoulder and a mostly empty bottle of infant formula resting on the table nearby. Kit took another picture with Naomi’s camera, kissed them both on the forehead without waking either up, and went back to bed.

  A few hours later when he knocked on her door with a baby that was hungry again, Kit wasn’t nearly so tired, but she was still troubled about the question of college. He came into the room and handed her the baby, asking, “Are you okay? You didn’t even hear her cry in the night and you never sleep this late.”

  She self-consciously ran a hand through her wild hair and answered, “Your mom made me promise I’d seriously consider college and I stressed over it all night. I’m sorry she woke you up, but thanks for feeding her. Actually sleeping through a whole night would have been luxurious.”

  When she mentioned college he perked right up and reached for the baby again. She automatically handed her over, as he suggested, “Get dressed and come feed her out here, and talk to me while she eats.” He went back out the bedroom door without her saying anything and Kit got up to close the door and dress, knowing he was going to start up where Naomi had left off.

  Admitting to herself that she didn’t usually oppose Rossen’s good intentions very well, she dressed, wishing she had a power suit that would bring both wisdom and confidence. This college talk had been a long time coming. She settled for the jeans and shirt she felt prettiest in and wended her way to the great room. They were there cuddling and when Rossen watched her walk toward them with open appreciation in his gaze, she was encouraged enough to feel like she could manage this discussion.

  Everyone else had already eaten and left and Kit knew it was just the three of them as she tossed a blanket over herself and began to feed her hungry infant. Rossen was quietly watching her and his silence gave her butterflies. Maybe she couldn’t handle this conversation. She still hadn’t even gotten the answer to her last night’s prayer. He didn’t say anything and she met his gaze openly, wondering why he didn’t just get to the point. The only sound in the room was the baby nursing hungrily and she had begun to feel self-conscious by the time he asked, “Are you going?”

  She hadn’t expected a question. She’d assumed he would try to reason with her, and try to convince her, and get that "come on, you can do this" tone in his voice the way he usually did. The question threw her and for the first time, she wondered if the reason she hadn’t felt that sense of calm after her prayer was because God was trying to tell her she should go. It was a disconcerting thought.

  She tried to buy some time to gather her thoughts. “Go where?”

  Even to herself she sounded unsure, and he smiled. “Nice try, but I know you way too well. Why couldn’t you sleep?” He obviously did know her well to make her face her own question. She could tell from the look on his face that he knew she was unsure of this whole issue, which was a turnabout from her usual ‘there’s no way I can go to college’ mindset.

  She leaned her head back against the top of the couch knowing she should just be dead honest with him from the start. He was wise, and she knew he had her best interest at heart, so why should she feel like she had to oppose this? The same chaotic mix of issues filled her head and she was more confused than ever.

  She finally looked up and answered his question, “All this time, since I found out I was expecting her, I’ve felt like college had become out of the question. But I promised your mom, so I really did give it some thought. I came to the same conclusion, that there’s no way I can be a single mom and a college student too, so I took it to God in my prayers last night—the way you guys have taught—the whole ‘make a decision based on your best judgment and information and ask Him if this is the right thing to do’, kind of prayer.” She sighed, “And I haven’t had much peace of mind since.”

  Rossen didn’t say anything, just kept looking at her in that calm, steady way he had and she felt like squirming at the obvious answer to her prayer. Finally she said, “Okay, so I realize I
need to go, but I still can’t see how I possibly can. I have no money, and letting you help me survive is a whole different issue than letting you pay for school. I have a baby, and I’m not sure I could just hand her off to a stranger to watch while I went to class or to the library or somewhere. I haven’t taken an ACT or even applied. I’d have to get accepted, find the money, make arrangements for an apartment, find childcare, the whole nine yards in slightly over two months. Now, I’m not questioning God, but maybe we’re just reading this wrong. Maybe I’m supposed to go next semester or next year or something.”

  He still didn’t pitch in and she said, “Remember when I said no one could be mad at you? Well, sometimes I’d like to be! Why are you just sitting there watching me? Can’t you at least tell me what you’re thinking behind those blue eyes? What is this? Death by let’s make her decide for herself?”

  He began to laugh and sincerely apologized, and then she really did want to be mad at him, but it was still impossible. The baby started to stir, and she covered herself and handed her over, then got up from the couch and went to get herself a glass of milk.

  The baby burped and she watched him begin to talk to her and cuddle her and let her play with his fingers. She softly asked, “And how can I take her away from you? Won’t it kill you?”

  He looked up at her and she felt like she could see into his soul when he answered honestly, “Both of you leaving will kill me, but you need to do this.”

  She knew he was right because of her prayer, but she still didn’t understand. “Okay, but can you please at least tell me why? What would be wrong with just settling down and being a mom and a secretary slash sculptor? Isabel has already found that I can make a decent living with my art. Your dad has said that he’d let me either buy or lease some land here near your family and Sean said he'd help me build a little house. What would be the problem with that?”