Above Rubies (Rockland Ranch)

by Jaclyn Hawkes

  His voice was sad when he asked, “Kit, how many states have you traveled to?”

  “Four, why?”

  “And how many real dates have you gone on? Or proms?” She looked down at her hands, embarrassed to admit she’d only dated a few times and had never been to a prom, but he went on, “I’m not being rude. I’m sure there were tons of guys in your high school who dreamed of going out with you, but my point is, you can’t skip a whole season of your life. I know you have a beautiful little girl, and some things have happened along the way that make it seem like this is out of the question. But if you don’t spread your wings now, the opportunity will be gone and you’ll be settled down without ever being able to enjoy being a young adult. There’s supposed to be a space in between childhood and settled down that's fun and exciting and you learn and grow at an incredible rate right now.” He paused and handed the baby back to her to feed again.

  “I’m not sure why you need to go do this, but I truly feel you should. At least try. God wouldn’t have made you feel like you should without providing a way to do it. Move ahead like it’s going to work out and deal with the issues as they come up. Yeah, having a baby is going to make for some awkward conversations on a few dates, but good honorable men will be able to know your heart and the ones who bail aren’t worth the bother anyway. Who knows, maybe she’ll turn out to be the short cut to sorting through the chaff.”

  He smiled, but it didn’t come anywhere close to reaching his eyes. She almost came right out and asked him why he would send her away when she knew he was in love with her, but she didn’t have the guts. And she probably knew the answer anyway. He was doing this for her. Thinking it was in her best interest and she knew he thought she would go off and find a boyfriend who was in the dating stage of his life like she should be. It was a great theory—who knew, maybe it would even work. In her heart she didn’t think so.

  If he would do this for her, she would do it for him. She knew even as she made the decision that it wasn’t going to be a long term thing, but he didn’t have to know that. Perhaps if she went and made an honest effort at living this season of her life, then she could come home and someday he'd consider her grown up enough. If not, then she'd come home anyway and raise her daughter here where she was loved.

  He was watching her closely and she knew he saw when she made the decision.

  With a sad smile, he said, “Go learn and grow and have fun. Eat pizza at two in the morning and date and break a few hearts. Go to prom looking as beautiful as you did the night of Slade and Isabel’s wedding, and take a karate class and statistics.”

  He gave her another sweet, sad smile. “You probably won’t struggle with that one like I did, but everyone should have an experience with stats. Find out what it’s like to have roommates. Some will be friends the rest of your life and some you’ll want to murder, but you’ll learn how to deal with them. Have your own phone that all the guys are gonna want you to keep their numbers in and find out who and what you love and don’t love. If you hate it, you can quit and come home and cuss me.”

  When she said, “Okay,” he gave her a high five, but he looked sad as he did it. He said, “I don’t think you’ll ever regret it.”

  She already did, but he needed her to do this.

  They went ahead liked they’d talked about, acting like it would all work out and for the most part it did. Kit decided to go to Utah State University. It had a reciprocity program because they lived so close, so with her grades, she could have in-state tuition, and she could live with Joey and Treyne, and also because USU had great programs in both the fine arts of sculpture and music. She went right to the university to take her ACT to expedite it and with her scores in hand, went back with Rossen to the student financial aid office to determine what might still be available for scholarships and grants. Her grades and ACT scores were high enough that she got an Honors-at-Entrance general scholarship. And because of her Native American ethnicity there were a number of scholarships set aside that were available too.

  By the time she, Rossen, and Mimi left to go home to Wyoming that afternoon, she had enough financial backing for her entire four year degree, tuition, books, and living expenses included. As they drove they were quiet except for the radio playing softly. She cried quietly because her dream of college was actually going to come true and she no longer wanted it. Knowing now that she would really be going, she couldn’t even begin to face the idea of living away from Rossen in just a few weeks time. He'd become the best friend she’d ever had and even if she hadn’t been in love with him, she’d have been sad. As it was, she didn’t think they could do it and wondered why she'd felt God wanted this.

  ****

  He thought she was crying because she was finally on her way and he was sadder than he’d ever felt. He had some questions for God too, wondering why He had ever let him fall in love with someone he couldn’t have.

  ****

  When they got home, she put the baby down for a nap and went to saddle her horse. Slade found her in the main barn, sobbing her heart out against her horse’s neck. He asked her what was wrong and she tried to tell him. She didn’t think he could understand, but he actually appeared to understand a lot more than she thought he would. He was far enough removed and he knew Rossen well enough to know what was going on, and he seemed sad for them both. He tried to comfort her and he was actually the one to suggest she leave Mimi at home with Rossen when she left.

  At first she was horrified at the idea. How could she even dream of driving away from her little daughter for what right now seemed an eternity? Slade reminded her that USU was only two and a half hours away and that she could come home when she needed to. She thought out loud, “But I don’t have a car and the others won’t want to come home that often.”

  Slade shrugged. “Why don’t you just buy one of your own?” She'd never even conceived of the idea and he laughed at her and said, “You have the money for it in your account. I mean you can’t buy a Ferrari, but there’s enough for a safe, nice car.”

  She climbed on her horse and rode off with her mind going a million miles an hour. Leave the baby and buy a car. The more she thought about it the better it sounded. It would solve the childcare issue. Rossen would probably agree to watch over Mimi if Kit could arrange someone to provide back-up help sometimes. Kit thought of Slade’s ranch hand Hank and his wife Ruby. They were only five minutes away and Ruby adored Mimi. Then too, she'd have an excuse to come home when she needed to without it being that she was coming to see Rossen. She rode back to the house to find him.

  ****

  At first, Rossen shook his head. He didn’t think she'd be able to leave her baby when it came right down to it, but she looked okay with it and he knew he’d like it better. This way he wouldn’t have to lose both of them and she would come home a lot more often. He didn’t analyze that thought too closely for fear he would see the incongruity of it, in light of him sending her away to meet other guys, while he hoped she would hurry home.

  ****

  When she registered she signed up for a sculpture class, a guitar class and a Spanish class. At the last minute she and Joey added a karate class together. She only had one Spanish class on Wednesdays. She was going to leave it as open as possible so she could go home midweek if she was dying without Mimi and the others. As she said that to herself she laughed right out loud. She did love all the Rocklands, but who was she trying to kid?

  Chapter 12

  The day finally came. Joey and Treyne had already gone back to Logan the day before and Kit knew she needed to be on her way or she’d be driving in a canyon in the dark. She'd become a good driver, and her new car was safe, but she didn’t really want to make her first long road trip alone late, so she was trying to find the courage to say goodbye. She told Naomi and the others, and Rossen walked her to her car carrying Mimi. Kit was so upset she couldn’t even look up and Rossen tried to talk to her, “Kit, I know this is hard, but you need to calm down or you aren�
��t going to be able to drive safely.”

  He was so wise and kind. She hugged them both collectively until she thought her heart was going to break. Finally, she looked up, trying to smile through her tears. “This was the dumbest idea we’ve ever come up with. How about if you two just come to live in Logan, too?”

  Rossen smiled sadly. “We might just do that.”

  She leaned into him to kiss the sleeping baby and then reached up to kiss him gently on the cheek. “I love the two of you, you know. Don’t let her forget me.” She wanted to say or you either, but she knew that was one of those stupid unspoken rule things. Their eyes met and held for a long moment. Finally, she pulled away and got into the car.

  She stopped when she was out of sight of the guard shack, knowing she had to get enough control of her tears to be able to see. When she’d agreed to this, she’d had no idea it would be this hard.

  ****

  He’d have been okay; at least he thought he would have, if she hadn’t told him she loved him too when she left. He was more mixed up than ever and he put Mimi in her little pack and left to walk through the hills of the ranch. He walked as fast as he dared go with her for almost two hours, and then stopped to give her a bottle and head back. He’d given himself a pep talk enough to have his head back on straight just in time to go home and receive her phone call saying she’d made it there safe.

  That night he moved the new crib he’d bought Kit into his room. He shut the door to her room and tried to not even notice it was there. He fed Mimi and put her to bed, honestly wondering if he could do this, and he prayed for Kit, hoping it wasn’t this rough of a go where she was.

  Naomi and Rob watched, their hearts almost as hammered as his.

  ****

  Kit threw herself into college with a vengeance. She had to get through the next fifteen weeks and she had to make them count. She went to her classes that first Monday with more confidence than she knew she possessed. She already knew she was only going to stay for one semester. She’d do that much for him, but she couldn’t face living apart longer than that.

  Her art class was heavenly. She learned things the first day, but she also realized she was in a world apart from the rest of her fellow students and her professor figured that out within a few minutes, too. He asked her to go back to the registrar and change to a 300 hundred level class taught in the afternoons instead of mornings. She was thrilled—not so much to be considered a superior artist, but he just made it so she could stay home in Wyoming over Sunday nights and drive back to school on Monday mornings. After giving her the form she'd need with his signature, they talked for almost half an hour and he suggested he help her get some college credits for her bronzes when they were complete.

  As Kit hurried to her Spanish class, she was formulating a plan. She'd ask her academic advisor about taking some tests to get as many credits passed as fast as she could. It would appease Rossen that much more when she announced she was coming home for good.

  Her Spanish class was a bit intimidating at first. There were a hundred and fifty students enrolled and it met in a large auditorium. She had never encountered anything like it before. She must have looked somewhat unsure of herself because one of the guys next to her asked, “No Spanish in high school for you either, huh?”

  She shook her head with a hesitant smile. “I’m afraid this is my first experience with any foreign language.” She didn’t even understand the natives back in Arizona usually. Languages held no interest for her. She was only taking it because Rossen spoke it fluently and it accumulated credit.

  The guy nudged her arm. “Come sit by me and we’ll muddle through it together.” Kit was pleasantly surprised. For some reason she'd expected this to be like high school where the guys were ‘cool’, but not necessarily friendly. She'd mentally made a checklist of all the things Rossen wanted her to experience in what he’d called this season of her life. She didn’t even consciously realize she was doing it, but she was planning to check off as many of them as she could in the next three and a half months. One of them was dating, so when her Spanish buddy, whose name she found out was Ethan, asked her out after class she accepted with a smile.

  Her and Joey’s Karate class was at eleven o’clock and they met at the door with a hug. Kit was surprised at how much having Joey there brightened up the day. She’d been having a good day, but Joey was family. Kit adored her and was glad she was there.

  Kit was normally a gentle soul who would never show aggression. The time she'd belted the ranch hand was the only time she could ever remember wanting to strike someone, so the whole idea of Karate took a minute to catch on. Not so with Joey. In fact, she volunteered to be the guinea pig that first day and took their instructor by surprise when she really did try to kick him when he asked her to. Joey loved it from the first and Kit didn’t have to stretch her imagination far to know what was going to happen in their apartment.

  Matt, their instructor, was not much older than them and was good looking and funny. When he offered to hold an extra lab in the evenings sometimes, Kit and Joey put their names and numbers on his list.

  Kit’s last class of the day, guitar, was the one that had her most worried. She could play, but she'd never read a note of music in her life. She knew she would have to in this class and she was prepared to do whatever it took, but she walked in feeling the most nervous she had all day.

  There were eighteen other students in the class and she took a seat near the back, put her guitar down and took out a notepad to take notes. The students in the class were an interesting mix. Some were just your basic student she’d seen all day around campus, obviously taking an elective to rack up a few more credits. The rest were undoubtedly musicians, but it was like there was a line drawn down the middle. Two were into classical acoustic guitar and the others were blatantly rockers.

  She’d never seen this variety of dress and hair colors and styles in her life. There were tattoos and piercings and dog collars and stuff she had no idea even what to call it. Some of them were loud and obnoxious, but some of the most outlandish looking people were, by far, the most focused students.

  The professor was a middle aged man who dressed conservatively, but obviously enjoyed working with the students and the kids liked him. The class turned out to be interesting and fun.

  First he gave them some basic information about grading and the books they would need, then passed out some single sheets of music and they got right into playing. Kit couldn’t read along so she let everyone play it through one time while she pretended to tune up and then the next time she played it through with them from memory. She figured out right away that not everyone played it correctly so she listened closely to the instructor to follow him.

  The next song she did the same, and on the third one she realized the instructor was playing the harmony after she played along with him for a few moments and what she was doing was different from those around her. She hadn’t noticed the first time through because she was focused on the professor. She listened to a talented player next to her and the next time around got it right.

  After class as everyone packed up to leave, the professor pulled her aside. For a minute she thought she was in trouble, but he didn’t appear mad as he said, “Excuse me.” He glanced at the class roster in a clip board in his hand. “Kit. Is that right?” She nodded.

  He waited until the last student left the room and then looked right at her and asked, “How much music can you read?”

  She looked down for just a second, then raised her head and answered, “None, Dr. Mitchell, this is my first music lesson in my life. But I promise I’m a fast learner. If you’ll let me stay, I won’t hold your class up.” She waited for his answer without breathing.

  He smiled at her reassuringly. “I have no intention of kicking anyone out of this class, Kit. I just know that what you were playing just now, you played from memory having only heard it once, because I wrote it and I’ve never given it out before. Would you mind if I as
ked you some questions? Have you got a few minutes?”

  Kit was a touch wary as she nodded her head and he continued, “Good. Get your guitar back out. No, better yet, just grab that electric there beside you.” Kit nervously picked up the guitar. She’d never touched an electric in her life and though she’d always wanted to play one, she didn’t really want to try it the first time in this situation.

  He interrupted her nervous thoughts to ask, “Can you play my part of that third song again? You play it. I’ll play the other. On three, one and two and three." Kit didn’t even have time to prepare; she just had to start right in playing. She missed a couple of notes at the first as her hands tried to get accustomed to the different instrument, but then she played beside him without a hitch. He sped up a couple of times and slowed down once and then switched to the part she was playing and told her to switch back to the student part. They played it through three times before he finally stopped her. He was looking at her, thinking, and she wasn’t sure what to do.

  Next he said, “Listen to what I play and then play it back for me.” For a minute or two he played an incredibly intricate set that was fast and had an irregular rhythm. Kit worried she’d mess it up, but she played it back exactly. After that he asked her to play something she’d come up with herself, so she chose a lullaby she'd written for Mimi and she sang along under her breath. Next he asked her to play a rock song off the radio and she played Adrenaline by Nick Sartori.

  She’d never actually played it on the instrument it was written for and she loved it even better than on her own guitar. She finished playing it, but without the long drawn out buzzing whine at the end. She’d never figured out how to make that sound on her acoustic and she didn’t know how to make this guitar do it either. She finished and Dr. Mitchell took the guitar away from her to make the last long whine. He showed her how to do it and handed it back asking, “How much have you played an electric?”