by Marian Wells
“Who is Louisa?”
“My father is a tenant farmer. Her father owns the land where we lived. Louisa is rich; I am poor. She was good to me. I don’t know why she paid attention to me. She gave me some of her dresses—ones she didn’t want. She taught me how to read, even to talk and act like a lady.”
Olivia sighed and her face cleared. “So in reality, you were running away from Louisa when Mike found you. Did you tell him all this?”
“No,” she whispered, shaking her head violently. “I couldn’t admit that to him. Olivia, even my wedding dress was stolen from Louisa. I didn’t dare tell Mike. See, this part of my life was something I wanted to forget.”
“If you felt that way, why did you decide against marrying him?”
“I—” Beth looked shocked. “I supposed you had guessed by now; Mike wouldn’t marry me. He wouldn’t say why, only that he couldn’t because God didn’t want him to. Oh, Olivia, don’t look at me like that! From his expression that day, I thought he really wanted to. I can only guess he’d discovered I wasn’t good enough for him.”
“Beth, Mike isn’t like that. If you’d told him all this, I think he’d have married you anyway.”
Olivia waited. Beth’s face was brooding and shadowed; finally she whispered, “I hated Mike after that. I was so ashamed of being humiliated. It’s been horrible. But that’s no reason to betray my country. Olivia—” She pressed her hands against her face. “I’m continuing to pile up so much wrong in my life. God will never forgive me.”
“You want Him to?”
“Of course. Olivia, since you said those things and wrote the verses out, I’ve nearly gone crazy. I read through the Bible, just pages and pages of it. I’ve been trying to see if you were wrong about repentance and condemnation and obeying God. I thought just going to church and living a good life would be enough. But it isn’t. God doesn’t forget what I’ve done, and now He won’t let me forget, either.”
“But Beth, you’ve missed the important part,” Olivia whispered. “We’ve all sinned. God doesn’t measure sin by what we’ve done, but instead by what we’ve done about it. Do you believe those things you read in the Bible?”
“Yes. I couldn’t help believing. The words felt like they were jabbing inside of me.”
“Then believe the rest. God says that if you ask for forgiveness, He’ll give it to you. That’s all you need to do. Ask and believe.” She hesitated, “Do you want to ask Him—”
“What about the clothes and jewelry?”
Slowly Olivia said, “I don’t think it’s possible to do anything now. Beth, confess it to God and ask His forgiveness. If he wants you to see Louisa, He’ll help you do it. Right now, with this war going on, it seems impossible.” Olivia stood up. She hesitated before asking, “Beth, are you going to—”
“Olivia, I can’t ask God now. Mike—I don’t want to even think about him.” Slowly she added, “I don’t know what to do now. I don’t have a home, and I’m afraid to go to Cynthia’s.”
“I know you don’t like nursing, but if you want a job here, I’m certain they’ll take you.”
“Oh, I can’t!” Suddenly she looked up. “Kinda like penance, you mean?”
“No. That’s not the way God’s love operates. It would only be because you want to help,” Olivia paused. “Beth, you need not do this.”
Beth thought for a moment before looking up at Olivia. Hesitantly she said, “Olivia, you’ve been married; but how can I care for these men? I know what nursing is like; I’ve never even seen a naked man.”
Olivia touched her face. “Beth, you needn’t worry. These hospitals have male nurses to do the heavy lifting and all the intimate care. Can you imagine me lifting a man? For us women, nursing means bathing their faces, feeding them, even writing letters. I’ve had to help change bandages on some of the wounds. Believe me, you won’t be offended, and these soldiers will be very appreciative of your care.”
“Then I’ll do it,” Beth whispered. “And Olivia, I think I need to take that message to someone. It might be important.”
The next afternoon, Beth and Olivia carried the message to the War Department. The uniformed man looked at it, questioned Beth, and said, “The message tells us nothing we didn’t guess previously. Lee is coming. His destination appears to be Pennsylvania. The most important information will be the names and descriptions of the people you have aided.” His voice was serious. “You realize you could be in danger?”
Beth swallowed hard and said earnestly, “I’ll be glad to tell you all I know. About the danger—I guess I can blame no one except myself.”
Beth was quiet and Olivia worried when they returned to the hospital. Olivia said, “I’ll not let you out of my sight. Promise me you won’t leave the building alone.”
“I won’t,” she whispered. “I’m frightened nearly to death.”
****
By the first of June news began to trickle into Washington. The Confederates had left the Fredericksburg area. Lee was marching westward. Later in the month, rumors indicated that General Lee was in the Shenandoah Valley, shielded from Hooker’s army by the Blue Ridge Mountains as he pressed north.
Dr. Whitt and his staff began preparing for more patients. Many men were furloughed to return home for the rest of their convalescence.
Just as Olivia finished her shift one afternoon, Beth came into the hospital, looking worried. “Beth, is something troubling you?”
Beth looked up and forced a smile. “Oh, I suppose I’m just being a baby.”
“Perhaps you’d better tell me about it.”
“I think I’ve seen Timothy Stollen on the street in front of the hospital. Yesterday Lettie told me a man has been asking about me. Do you suppose he’s going to cause problems?”
“What did she tell him?”
“Just that I work here. Cynthia knew I had a friend working at a hospital, and that was probably information enough for Mr. Stollen. Olivia, you don’t think he’d do something to me, do you?”
“I really can’t believe you’re in danger,” Olivia answered, “but I don’t think I’m willing to risk something happening. Go to work; I’ll talk to Mrs. Thorner.” She patted Beth’s arm and left the room.
Maggie Thorner and Dr. Whitt were in the reception hall when Olivia pushed the door open. They turned, and Dr. Whitt said, “Olivia, Maggie tells me there have been several people asking about Beth Peamble.”
She nodded. “I was coming to talk to you about it. Beth could be in danger. I don’t like to think such things, but I’m convinced she should return to Pennsylvania.”
“Has it something to do with spying for the Confederacy?”
“Yes,” Olivia said reluctantly, “but she’s not involved now.”
Dr. Whitt thought for a moment, then said, “Perhaps that is why this man is looking for her. It’s not a comfortable position for a young girl to be in,” he added.
“I think Olivia should send her back to Pennsylvania,” Maggie offered.
“If she were my daughter,” he said slowly, “I’d take her to Pennsylvania. I’m not convinced the trains around Washington are totally safe right now.”
“You think she would be followed?”
“If they are trying to find her now, do you think they’ll stop? It’s possible she’s being watched. I can’t imagine what their intentions are, but all this certainly seems very strange.”
“I feel responsible for her welfare,” Olivia said. “Perhaps it would be wise for me to ride with her to Pennsylvania. Maggie, can you spare me for a couple of weeks?”
“Certainly. I wish you’d stay there for a rest.”
****
Rumors of Lee’s advance northward continued to appear in the Washington newspapers. But until Beth and Olivia were at the train station, preparing to leave Washington, the news hadn’t alarmed them.
Settled in their seats, waiting for the train to leave, Olivia opened the newspaper. “Beth,” she said, “it appears the Confeder
ate army has moved into Pennsylvania. According to this article, they destroyed iron works near Chambersburg. Railroad property has also been destroyed. It seems the Confederate soldiers have seized shoes, clothing, horses, cattle, and food, leaving behind Confederate IOU’s.”
“I’ve heard about those IOU’s,” Beth drawled. “I don’t think people will find them too valuable.”
“One town was raided for supplies for the army, and shops were broken open.” Olivia trembled with anger. “It says Southern soldiers seized scores of black people living in Pennsylvania and sent them South into slavery.”
“Olivia,” Beth said, “right here on the front of the paper it says General Lee has a hundred thousand men with him. It’s reported his army stretched from Culpepper, Virginia, a hundred miles to the Potomac. We’re surrounded.” Beth looked at Olivia over the top of the paper. With a nervous giggle, she said, “I’m glad we didn’t know about this, or we would never have left Washington. Now will you stay in Pennsylvania?”
Olivia looked out the window. As the train jerked and began to move, she touched the brooch pinned to her frock and said, “No, Beth. I suppose this sounds strange to you, but I just can’t forget about Alex. I dream about him. As long as this war goes on, I must care for every soldier as dearly as if he were Alex. Just perhaps—” Hastily she added, “It will be important to some wife or mother.” She leaned against the window as the train gathered speed.
Beth buried her nose in the newspaper. “Oh dear, the Union has waited too long. General Lee captured twenty-three hundred men. Why doesn’t General Hooker do something?” She lifted her head. “It seems if there was any possibility Alex is alive, he would have written to you.”
Olivia was silent.
****
Vicksburg’s humid heat penetrated even the cool depth of the caves. Crystal wiped the perspiration from her brow and smiled at the child leaning against her knee. “Annie, I’ve read this book twice today. Shall we see if we can find another?”
Crystal heard another burst of gunfire and a distant boom. “That was a hit,” a woman said bitterly. “I wonder every time if it’s my house.”
“I don’t like playing in caves; the dirt comes down,” Annie interjected. “Besides, it’s crowded and we have to be still.”
“Annie, don’t stand in the entrance, you could be killed by those guns.” Annie looked at her mother and pouted. “Please darling, come here.”
A young matron watched and smiled at Annie. “Soon it will all be over and you’ll be out in the park again.”
“If there’s still a park.”
“No matter what,” Crystal said slowly, “we must keep our spirits up. I know it’s hard when this has been going on for over a month.”
“And we don’t have enough to eat and our homes are in rubble. Crystal, you can talk glibly; your home isn’t being shelled. New Orleans is beyond the fighting now.”
“But not beyond all that follows the fighting,” Crystal added. “We’ll all be a part of the rebuilding—North and South. I believe God expects us to mend the fences in our brother’s pasture.”
“If the North is so caring, why don’t they just go home and leave us alone? We are ruined; must they take a final measure?”
A shell whistled overhead, and all conversation stopped. They looked at the ceiling of the cave, then brushed dirt from their faces. An explosion seemed to rock the earth. Annie’s mother whispered, “If this doesn’t stop soon, I shall go mad.”
The gray-haired Mattie put down her knitting and glared at the woman. “Don’t you say such a thing. Just get hold of yourself, pray for strength, and start planning new curtains for your house.”
Ignoring Mattie, the woman continued, “Rats and mule meat. Last week’s newspaper was printed on wallpaper. Two weeks ago it said, ‘General Johnston is coming.’ This week it asked, ‘Where is Johnston?’” She stopped, listened. They all looked toward town.
“That’s a different explosion—it’s muffled, far away.”
“My man says the Union is trying to break into our defenses by tunneling in close to the trenches and setting off explosives,” Mattie said. She paused, took two stitches, and added, “He says from the sound of things it’s within their power to blow holes right into Vicksburg—like the enemy tunneling under Jerusalem back in the Old Testament.”
“I hear the soldiers sent a letter to General Pemberton saying that if he couldn’t feed them, he’d better surrender. Personally, I think he’ll surrender.”
“Tomorrow’s Independence Day,” came a bitter voice back in the shadows. “All we wanted was independence. I guess we don’t have much to celebrate.”
The following morning, while there was still a touch of freshness in the air, Crystal left her hotel room and started down the hall. She stopped when she reached the window overlooking the city. From her top floor viewpoint she could see east. Today the familiar Confederate trenches blossomed with white flags waving in the morning air. She blinked and looked again.
Turning she ran down the stairs. “Flags!” she gasped to those clustered in the lobby. “There are white flags in the trenches!”
A gentleman turned. “Ma’am, General Pemberton has surrendered to the Union. If you hurry, you will see these poor, half-starved men stacking their arms.” His voice was bitter.
Crystal turned away, saying, “I don’t want to be a spectator. I want only to have the affair finished.”
“As we all do, ma’am.”
But nevertheless the town came to watch. High on the hill where Crystal had admired the Mississippi sunset, the townspeople huddled together and watched the Union boats move in. Until three in the afternoon the gunboats and transports continued to arrive. When the final boat docked, General Grant and his men walked into the city. Strangely the somber air seemed to lift in expectancy.
Crystal hurried down the hill and turned toward the wharf. She had gone only a block when she stopped. Astonished at the spectacle before her, she stepped back in the shade of a store front and watched. Below her, the streets were filled with Negroes. They lined the sidewalks, waiting in respectful silence, wearing big smiles. This is it! Vicksburg has surrendered.
At the first triumphant note from the bugles, Crystal lifted her head and saw the flag come slowly down the street. With tears in her eyes, she eagerly watched the colors moving with each step of the men. The band played; Crystal recognized The Battle Cry of Freedom. As tears streamed down her face, she heard a masculine voice behind her softly singing the last lines: “For we know while freedom lives, Not a man must be a slave! Shouting the battle cry of freedom.”
Crystal wiped her eyes and watched the Federal troops. Stalwart, smiling, they marched swiftly down the street. “My, don’t they look nice! Different from our poor men, starved and ragged.” Crystal nodded to the woman. Suddenly she turned and ran down to the street, searching the faces eagerly, wishing, yet not daring to wish that Matthew would be among those men.
Ahead troops marched into the park, breaking rank as they filled every available space. Suddenly Crystal stopped. That distant profile—could it be? Crystal ran, gasping, “Matthew, Matthew!” He turned, broke rank, and caught her in his arms. “Oh, thank You, Father, thank You! How I prayed you’d come, Matthew!”
“My dear, you are so thin!” he murmured, looking into her face, touching her cheek.
“It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters except that you are here.”
Now townspeople and soldiers mingled. The news swept through the streets. “General Grant has paroled the prisoners. Our men are going home!”
As they linked arms and walked toward the square, Crystal noticed the cheerful faces of the Federal soldiers were changing as they looked around at the people. Small clusters of blue uniforms formed. They seemed to be talking. With determined and stern faces, the soldiers turned as a woman ran to them.
Crystal saw her as she pointed toward a large building.
“Oh, I recognize her,” she murmured. “She�
��s telling the soldiers about the merchants holding back food.” Crystal began to smile as the soldiers ran down the street.
She nodded toward the woman. “She’ll get her ham yet!” Crystal tugged Matthew’s hand. “Hurry, I want to see this.”
They could hear glass breaking. By the time they reached the warehouse, Grant’s men were hauling merchandise into the streets. Sacks of flour, canned goods, hams—even tins of imported English biscuits. As the barrels and boxes were forced open the soldiers yelled, “Here, Rebs, come and get it. Take it all! You’re starving; you need it now!”
Crystal trembled against Matthew’s arm. “Are you hungry?” he asked.
“Not as hungry as those women and children are. I’ve stayed at the hotel and have been fairly well fed. There’s been little variety, but that’s not important now.”
Matthew turned and held her shoulders firmly. “I’m staying here with you until my commander releases me, then I’m taking you home.”
Chapter 41
The train carrying Olivia and Beth passed through Philadelphia and continued north before turning west. Since leaving the city, Beth had been sitting with her nose nearly against the window. “How can the countryside seem so peaceful if the Confederates are actually in the state doing all those things the newspaper said?”
“It’s a big state,” Olivia replied. “It disturbs me because we aren’t seeing Federal troops. I wonder what has happened to all those young men who took their training in our neighbor’s pasture? But we’ve avoided the Chambersburg area where the Confederates entered; perhaps our army is there now. Surely we’ll see the state militia.” She smiled at Beth and added, “It’s a relief to know we bypass places the Confederates are most likely to be.”
The train slowed and chugged into a small city. “Where are we?” Beth asked.
“I don’t know,” Olivia said. “It’s too dark to see.”
A small boy came through the car. “Want a newspaper? There’s news about President Lincoln getting a new general.”