She signaled and the sound of a golf cart against the pavement could be heard. None of us said a word as the cart moved closer to pick up the first contestant.
Bailey.
Bailey was a pretty blonde from the Mid-West with an adorable accent. She was very sweet, but seemed to be easily influenced. In the few hours she had been in the house, she was bullied out of the room she wanted and talked into cooking lunch. After that incident, Mya and I told her that she could hang with us, but she wanted to be part of what she considered the ‘in’ crowd.
It was five minutes before the next cart came to pick up the next contestant. I was seventh in line and it felt like an eternity before the cart came to get me.
I climbed in and clasped my hands in my lap. My stomach twisted into knots the entire thirty second trip to the front of the house. The gentle bell that chimed on the cart seemed to be announcing my arrival as well as heightening my anxiety. My body was tense. I inhaled and exhaled deeply in hopes of calming myself down.
I have nothing to be nervous about. I’m just going to gracefully jump out of this cart, strut into the house and meet Julian for the second time. Sure we have chemistry and he’s incredibly good looking and he has this amazing way with words that really makes me want to throw my panties at him. But he’s just a guy. A guy ready to meet twelve women. A guy that I’ve already met, talked to, and hung out with so I’m really making this a bigger deal than it is.
I attempted to shake off the jitters that were completely unlike me and took another deep breath.
It didn’t help.
I climbed out of the cart and saw a cameraman readjust his position and realized that the jitters weren’t just because of Julian. It was because I was being filmed. Everything I did or said was being captured for posterity and for the entertainment of viewers everywhere. If Julian really was everything I imagined him to be, I would be sad to be sent home, but it wasn’t like I was in love or anything. If I did something to embarrass myself or my family, that would haunt me for the rest of my life and ruin my career.
I took my time walking to the house, my focus on not tripping. I could handle the scarlet letter of H for hypocrite for appearing on a show that I trashed for years. But I couldn’t handle being on the blooper reel of said show. I had to draw the line somewhere.
Pushing one of the double doors open, I caught of glimpse of him. I hesitated before I stepped in.
Damn.
Somehow, Julian Winters looked even better than he had earlier. Wearing a black tuxedo that had to be custom fit to his body, Julian’s broad shoulders were on display. Seeing him from that distance, I could see he was easily six feet tall with an athlete’s body. The man I saw in the garden was good looking, open, and vulnerable. The man standing in the in the foyer was absolutely breathtaking, confident, and in control.
He let out a low whistle. “Wow.” The word was low enough that I didn’t think he meant for me to hear it and loud enough to make my heart skip a beat.
I took a few tentative steps into the foyer, trying to get the drumming in my chest under control before speaking. We just looked at each other, wide-eyed, before either of us made an attempt at a greeting.
“Hi,” we said at the same time in the same tone of voice before laughing.
Our laughter broke the spell and the nerves and anxiety went away instantly. Something about his laugh made me feel at ease, like we were back in the garden with no microphones, no cameras, and no group of eleven other women.
“I’m Zoe.” I moved across the room and reached out to shake his hand.
If possible, his smile grew. “I’m Julian.”
The moment our hands touched, something happened.
It would sound too cheesy to say that sparks flew, but I didn’t know another way to describe it. Maybe it was Julian or maybe it was the scenario, but the knots in my belly turned into butterflies. And I couldn’t see it for myself, but I felt like I was grinning foolishly up at him like a pre-teen staring up at her celebrity crush.
Get a grip.
I exhaled. “It’s very nice to meet you, Julian.”
Oh my God, why is my voice so breathy? I sound like I’m trying to seduce him!
“It’s very nice to meet you as well, Zoe.”
Whatever was crackling between us was distracting me and kept me from thinking straight. I felt myself becoming flushed so I pulled my hand from his grasp.
I pretended not to notice and not to be affected when I saw disappointment crease his features.
“I have something for you.” He reached over to a table and picked up a white gold charm bracelet. He stepped closer to me, eliminating all pretense of personal space. With his free hand, he reached for my right arm and trailed his fingers from my elbow to my hand. Turning my palm upward, he ran his thumb over the inside of my wrist.
I shivered.
“Thank you for being here,” he whispered, putting the charmless charm bracelet on me. Once it was clasped, his grey eyes found mine and I lost my train of thought.
Unable to tear my eyes from his, I swallowed hard. “Thank you for having me.”
It’s not just me. He is having this moment with twelve other women tonight, I reminded myself, controlling the wind under my sails.
With his hand still encircling my wrist, he applied a little pressure. “Tell me something you’re passionate about.”
“Poetry,” I admitted almost breathlessly.
His eyebrows flew up. “Really?”
Finding my natural voice, I redirected. “Yes, really. Why does that surprise you?”
He gave me a playful look as if he was flashing back to earlier. “I’m not saying it surprises me. I’m just saying I’ll have to test your poetry skills and knowledge later.”
I grinned. “I’d like to see you try.” He let out a short sexy laugh from deep in his chest so I continued. “And what about you? What are you passionate about?”
He smirked. “You’re the first one to ask me that. I have to say my work. I’m very passionate about my work.”
“I can tell. Reading the lyrics to the songs you’ve written, it shows.”
“You read the lyrics?” Julian’s eyes searched mine quizzically. His thumb stopped its gentle caress against the inside of my wrist.
Did I not mention that earlier?
“Well, yeah. I wanted to get to know who it was that I was going to be meeting. So I read your lyrics. And when I looked at the words, not listened to the songs, but looked at the words, it read like poetry to me.”
There were so many things his eyes were telling me, but I was too overwhelmed by the darkening of them to understand a single one. He dropped his gaze and took my other hand into his. When he made eye contact again, I saw it and I understood it. “I appreciate you saying that, Zoe. It means a lot.”
The sincerity in both his voice and his eyes made me smile. In a reality TV setting where everything was faked, that moment was real. He seemed genuinely caught off guard and appreciative of my compliment. I wanted to elaborate, but I could hear the bell of the golf cart as it made its way up the pavement.
“I know you have other women to meet so I’ll leave you with something special that hopefully you’ll remember me by.” My smile widened as I began quoting my favorite Pablo Neruda poem.
I knew that most of the viewers at home would think it was sexually charged and aggressively flirtatious. But I hoped that Julian would get it, especially after the song he shared with me earlier in the day.
If he was the poet that I felt that he was, the poet that his music indicated him to be, he would appreciate more than just the sexual attraction and desire on the surface of the poem. Even if he’d never heard it before, I hoped he’d get the meaning behind it. Hopefully he’d see the poem represented a desire to know someone fully, a desire and a motivation to seek them out to know them fully. The poem was intense, but it was my favorite and if I was going to go home, I wanted it to be on my terms.
I didn’t doub
t my decision to quote the poem until I was finished and I couldn’t read Julian’s expression. His lips parted, but didn’t say a word.
Okay, that didn’t go over as expected. But at least if I’m going to leave tonight, I’ll leave looking flawless and quoting Pablo Neruda. It’ll suck that I didn’t get a chance to know him, but—
His hands slipped up my arms slowly, unhurriedly, making goosebumps cover my skin and stopping all train of thought. Once reaching my elbows, he followed the same path back down before enveloping my hands with his. “Pablo Neruda,” he stated softly.
My heart, definitely, and my entire body, possibly, trembled. I was so surprised that he knew the poem, I couldn’t do anything but laugh.
He winked, joining in with my laughter. “Didn’t think I’d know that, did you?”
“I have to say…that is impressive,” I returned, backing away from him and letting my fingers slide from his grasp.
“We’ll have to talk more poetry at the party.”
“I look forward to it.” I turned on my heel and strutted toward the back patio.
I put an extra sway in my hips and I could feel his eyes on my ass. I smiled even harder. The feeling of his eyes on me made my entire body tingle. I sighed happily.
Yes.
Once I got around the corner, the judgmental eyes of six women burned into me. With glasses of alcoholic beverages in their manicured clutches, they eyed me up and down. The feeling of their eyes on me made me cringe. I sighed irritably.
No. Hell no.
Instead of sitting with them, I made a beeline for the bar. Looking around, I noticed there was no camera in the little nook where the bar was hidden.
The old man behind the bar grinned. “What can I get for you?”
I glanced down at his nametag and then back to his face. “Hi Bart! How are you? I’ll take a glass of champagne please.”
“I’m doing pretty good for an old man. How are you? Are you excited?”
I rested my elbows on the bar top and I smiled. “I’m doing well.” I looked over my shoulder and saw the woman who had just walked in get the stink eye from the rest of the group. “I’m excited to get to know Julian. I’m not excited about the rest.”
“Everyone always feels the same way. But when you’re stuck in here with no phones, no televisions, and nothing to do, you make friends.”
“Or enemies.”
The old man laughed. “I suppose you’re right.” He handed me my drink and then gave me a sympathetic grin. “They need you in the filming areas so you can be recorded during the cocktail parties. You have to go back to the group.”
“You mean I can’t hang out with you until Julian is done?” My tone was playful.
“I’m afraid not. But I’ll be here until the Bracelet Ceremony is over. Then drinks are a free-for-all.” He shrugged.
“Thank you, Bart.”
He gave me a wave and I headed back to the patio area. I stood on the outskirts of the area and the same woman talked without taking a break or allowing anyone to get a word in.
“…guess his type. I would assume he likes variety.” A nameless brown-haired, blue-eyed woman spoke using her hands a lot. She seemed chatty.
I will call her Chatty Cathy.
“That’s funny. I was almost positive you said that you didn’t understand how they would let in those two because they are fat,” Tori pointed out in a voice full of fake concern. “Or did I hear you wrong?”
Chatty Cathy gasped. “No! I mean, not like that.” She looked at two other women whose names I didn’t bother to remember and whose bodies didn’t deserve to be ridiculed. “I didn’t say you were fat. I said you were chubby. That’s all.” She glared at Tori. “Tori said you weren’t going to be able to find clothes to fit in wardrobe and I said they have chubby sizes too. I didn’t mean it like that.” Her eyes watered and she put her hands to her cheeks. “They were all there! They heard me!”
Tori stood in her sequenced gown and her blonde hair stacked on top of her head as if she were royalty. She was a mean girl who was trying to pit people against each other. I would’ve assumed it was to get into their heads to ruin their conversations with Julian at the party. But since my run-in with her at the interview, I knew that she was just a stone cold bitch.
When Mya walked in, most of the women were too engaged in the argument to give her the death stare. Two still managed to do it though.
I shook my head and signaled for her to follow me to the canopy on the outskirts of the sitting area.
“Tough room,” she muttered after she passed the rest of the women. I lifted my eyebrows and made a face.
We were only a few feet away, but it offered enough privacy that we could discuss things privately.
“Two things…where did you get that?” She pointed at my drink. “And what is this argument about?”
I pointed to the little nook on the other side of the patio. “Bar is over there. Bartender is Bart. He’s sweet. And this fight is because Tori and some of the others were just being shitty to the two women who are by the fire pit now.” I shook my head. “This is why I don’t bother learning names.”
“Exactly.” She grinned. “Can I tell you about my meeting with Julian?”
“Of course,” I answered genuinely meaning it at the time.
“So I walk in and he says ‘hey beautiful’ and I say ‘hey yourself handsome’ and then I give him a hug! His arms are…mmm, yummy! He lifted me up in the air a little.”
I felt the pit growing in my stomach with each word. My mouth felt a little dry so I took a swig of my champagne.
She hugged herself with her arms. “Then he asked me what I was passionate about and I said working out was a passion of mine and he kind of checked me out and nodded like…” She gave me a smoldering look while checking me out and she nodded slowly. “Just like that! Almost like, yeah I can tell. And then he said he’d come find me inside.” Her face beamed with happiness and hope.
My mouth was still dry and the pit in my stomach had turned into heavy knots rooting me to my seat.
It was weird hearing about Julian having a flirty exchange with Mya. But it was even weirder that I felt so weird about it.
I met him four or five hours ago. He’s not my man.
I cleared my throat and smiled brightly. “That’s good, Mya. Sounds like it went well!”
“Yes! Thank you. Let me grab my drink so I can hear about yours!” Mya’s small frame spun around and darted to the other side of the patio.
I’m not a jealous person, I reminded myself. Julian is going to flirt with other women. That’s the premise of the show. It’s way too early for me to feel any kind of way about it. He’s a guy. He’s just a regular guy. Just a regular guy who knows Pablo Neruda off of the top of his head. I sighed. This is insane.
By the time Mya returned and I gave her a brief recap of my exchange with Julian, leaving out the poetry part, Bryce and Julian stepped out onto the patio.
“Ladies,” Bryce called out to us. We all gathered around as he continued. “Welcome to your first Bracelet Ceremony. You’ve all had a chance to meet Julian. Now you will begin what we call the Bracelet Ceremony Cocktail Party. You will mix and mingle with our bachelor and give him a chance to get to know you. At the end of the party, we will have the ceremony. You’ve each received a bracelet and each week, if Julian chooses you to stay in the competition, you will receive a charm. If you do not receive a charm at the end of the ceremony, you will need to say your goodbyes to not only one another, but also to Julian. On the up side, you are free to keep your bracelet!” He gave the camera a cheesy grin before casting his gaze over us. “This week, Julian has a First Impression charm which will be given to the person who made a great first impression.” He turned to Julian. “Are you ready to find the one?”
“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,” Julian answered, looking around, seemingly overwhelmed. He flashed a smile that was so mesmerizing that I almost didn’t notice that it didn’t reac
h his eyes. “Hold on.”
Julian walked around where we were gathered, past the cameraman and camerawoman who were on opposite sides of our group, and beyond the pool to get to the gate. Not missing a beat, the camerawoman was only seconds behind him when she got through the gate.
Confused murmuring commenced while I silently stared at the gate.
Is he getting cold feet? Is he quitting? Does he not feel like the one is in this room?
After fifteen minutes, Julian returned through the gate with a bottle of water and a determined expression on his face. He ran his hand through his short, slicked back hair.
“I apologize about that. Where were we?”
Bryce repeated the last few sentences of what he had said and then asked Julian again if he was ready.
Julian nodded. “Absolutely. I’m ready to find the one and I believe she’s in this room right now.”
Was it a coincidence that he looked right at me when he said it? I looked around to see if anyone else noticed. Okay cool…so it was just in my head. Got it.
Bryce announced that he was leaving and he would be back for the Bracelet Ceremony. The moment he left the patio area, Tori positioned herself in front of Julian.
“I’m going to go ahead and steal you for a minute,” she said, looping her arm around his and leading him out of the eyes and ears of the rest of us.
“Well, she didn’t waste any time,” someone remarked.
That comment opened the floodgates. Interestingly enough, the people who were hanging around Tori the most had the most to say as soon as she left the room.
“The claws are coming out so I need another drink.” Mya mouthed. “You?”
I shook my head and pointed to our seats from earlier. She gave me a thumbs-up and then headed for the bar.
“Who does she think she is? I’m going to give them three minutes and then I’m going to go find them and interrupt. I need time with him, too,” Chatty Cathy announced.
A pale, redhead with bright green eyes and an exotic brunette with plump lips egged her on even though those two were the main ones I saw with Tori.
Maybe I should’ve gotten another drink, I thought as I made my way to my seat.
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