by P. Jameson
Magic glanced at the busted bag. That was what the boxing was supposed to accomplish. All it had done is leave him even more frustrated.
“Not much for an electronic sidewalk,” he grumbled. “Prefer the woods.”
“The trails?”
He nodded.
But his mind was bothered by the conversation she’d had with Ryan. Something was up with her. She’d come to the lodge without a reservation, Ryan implied she was in some sort of trouble, and she was unusually reserved when she’d been spunky as hell earlier.
She pushed the button to increase her speed. “The trails, yeah I can see that. You seem like the type who likes to embrace nature.” Her voice was off. No teasing. No sass.
Call it curiosity. Responsibility. Whatever the case, he felt compelled to see what trouble the female had gotten herself into.
Tossing his gloves to the floor, he stepped up on the machine next to hers and set the pace. She didn’t say a word and that was the real testament to her state of mind. Normal Josie would’ve given him the side-eye while quipping about her powers of persuasion or some nonsense.
Silence settled between them as they walked, and something miraculous happened. With each step, each rhythmic thump of their shoes upon the belt, the swirl of rage and frustration within him calmed. It wasn’t the sort of peace he constantly hoped for, that feeling that everything was just as it should be, but… it was a start. Enough that his shoulders relaxed. His muscles unwound, releasing their hold on his body. His chest loosened, allowing him to breathe easier.
Josie increased to a jog, and he adjusted his machine to match her. Pretty soon, they were running too fast to talk. But did he really want to hear about her troubles when he had so many of his own to worry about?
Maybe this odd reprieve was what he needed. The relief from his inner turmoil.
Running. Huh. Who would’ve guessed.
Other shifters ran the woods with their animals often, and now he knew why. But Magic hated any time he gave to his panther. If he could cut the animal from him, he would’ve already done it. He didn’t want to be a werecat. He didn’t want to be slave to his instinct. He wanted to tell the cat no, and have it actually listen. Without a fight. Without hating himself.
He wanted all of the fucking guilt and stress and aching to just… stop.
That’s what he really wanted.
Maybe if he’d told Doc Davis that earlier, she could’ve helped him.
Then again, maybe not.
They ran two more miles, both of them dripping with sweat by the time Josie slowed the machine. She gripped the bars as she set the pace for the cool down, her breath coming in heavy puffs.
But Magic didn’t want to stop. Not when he finally had some measure of relief.
“That…” She took several deep breaths. “That was a good run, Magic.”
He’d always liked how she said his name. With a heavy M and her tongue barely tapping the C.
Or maybe he hated it. He was so twisted up, it was hard to tell which feelings were which anymore.
For example, part of him loved that little human, Clara, simply because she made Eagan so happy. The cat was all googly-eyed and proud of their union. He was steady and not floundering anymore. Solid.
For now. At least for now.
Didn’t prove anything though. It had been the same with Renner, and now look at him. Actually, Renner seemed fine. Bethany on the other hand…
But another part of Magic hated Clara for what she’d done to their clan. Not the stealing, the mating. She and Eagan had started a domino effect, and somehow, Magic was going to have to find a way to stop it before anyone else got hurt.
The task seemed impossible. The Goliath of responsibilities. And the most frustrating part was he wanted to believe. He’d had hope. He’d wanted more for his clan. Matings, young, the whole shebang.
Just not at the price of anymore lives.
He slowed his machine to a walk, watching Josie as her breathing became normal again.
“Feel better?” she asked.
He gave her a nod, and she smiled. A genuine smile, like his answer made her happy. And it was disarming. He hadn’t made anyone happy in a very long time. None of his clan ever smiled at him like that.
“Good,” she said. “Me too.”
“So…” Magic hesitated. Did he want to go down this rabbit hole? But that smile, it got to him, and pulled at his heart a little. “What Ryan said, about you being in trouble… you okay?”
Her gaze shifted away, her smile vanishing. “Yeah, fine. Asshole boss just tried to manhandle me so I put him in his place. Then he fired me. Like a real man. But it’s not a problem, really. I was looking for a change anyway.”
Magic gawked at her. The careless way she just described someone assaulting her blew his mind. And the mere idea of some smarmy bastard cornering her made his panther crave blood. He could shred the guy until he was nothing more than ribbons of human and she’d never have to worry about him again.
“No man has the right to put his hands on you like that,” he ground out.
She glanced at him, a crook of her lips catching before falling back to a neutral expression. “I know. That’s why I grabbed his sack and gave it a good hard twist. He had the tiniest balls too. I swear I’ve never felt nuts that small before.”
Magic’s jaw dropped. Damn, she was a firecracker. Apparently his human shredding skills wouldn’t be needed at this time.
He cleared his throat so he could speak. “Good. Fucker deserved it.”
“On that, oh angry one, we agree.”
She stopped her machine and stepped off, wiping her face with the towel around her neck. The rest of her skin still glistened though, and it caught his attention for the shittiest of reasons.
He wanted to lick her. Taste what her skin mixed with sweat was like. Set his hot tongue against that hot flush where all the blood had rushed to the surface from her exertion. Hers would be hotter, he knew.
No!
Damn it, no.
But his cock was already rising to the occasion, hard for something he hadn’t had in ten years. Something he didn’t want… to want.
Magic turned off the treadmill and stepped away, giving Josie his back. Snatching a towel from the shelf, he did his own wipe down, and then using the band around his wrist, he pulled his hair up into a bun on top of his head.
Deep breaths. Deep fucking breaths, and turkey sandwiches and cleaning fish and those damned spreadsheets Layna made him use for every fucking thing. Whatever would take his mind off Josie’s body.
“How long are you here?” He needed to know so he could make sure to keep his distance.
The silence had him turning to look at her. She chewed her bottom lip, disappointment on her face.
“Don’t know. But don’t worry, I’m paying, okay?” The side of her mouth lifted in a sad half smile. “With actual dollars. Not these.” She waved a hand over the front of her shirt.
He frowned. “I didn’t mean—”
“It’s okay.” She stood, tossing her towel in the basket. “I know what everyone thinks. It’s fine. One of these days though…” The fake smile was still in place as she headed for the door. “One of these days I’m going to prove that I’m no flake. Maybe even sooner than you think,” she murmured cryptically.
Magic stared after her.
“What does that mean?”
She shrugged one bare shoulder, and pushed through the door without an answer.
Chapter Four
Josie was starving. A run like that always made her want to eat her weight in nachos. She doubted Eagan was around for special orders, but maybe she could at least whip up her own if she could find all the ingredients.
She made her way through the quiet halls toward the kitchen, feeling uneasy.
The exercise had helped dispel some of her nervous energy, but it didn’t clear anything up for her. She was jobless, soon-to-be homeless, and about to commit to helping bring a baby int
o the world.
She definitely needed to figure her shit out before that last one happened.
The idea was she’d take a leave from her job, and stay at the lodge during the pregnancy, working from there to keep the club’s business intact. Then after having the baby, she’d return to Memphis. She loved her city, she did. But right now, it was the last place she wanted to be.
What true friends she had were here in the Ouachitas, starting families and living the good life. Bethany, starting a family. Ryan, living it up with the chicks, she assumed. Her mother and father were in California road-tripping for their retirement. And her job—now former job—hadn’t left her with anyone she wanted to buddy up with.
Josie wasn’t much for planning, but this whole life thing was getting messy again. The last time this happened, she’d almost lost Bethany as a friend. Josie took full blame. She’d used Beth to buy a car and then flaked out on the payment when her clothing habit got a little too expensive. It was an awful thing to do, and she’d worked her ass off to pay Bethany back. Nothing she’d done in her life had felt better than that. Paying a debt she owed. Righting a wrong. Fixing something she’d broken.
It was her new habit, if she was being honest. It was the thing she craved more than fun now. The substance her life needed.
It was why she wanted to be a surrogate. She wanted to do something good for her friends. But her motives weren’t entirely altruistic. She also hoped she’d gain their respect. For too long she’d been Josie, the irresponsible one. Josie, the wild one. Josie, the one who always gets herself in trouble. She wanted to prove that she could do good too. That her being around wasn’t always need for caution.
She pushed through the door to the dark dining room. It was empty, as expected, but the light was on in the kitchen. As she neared the swinging doors she heard a distinctly female giggle. Maybe she shouldn’t interrupt whatever was happening in there. But then her stomach growled and put all her qualms to bed.
Hunger outranked privacy.
Besides, if someone was getting spunky in the kitchen… ew.
Palm slapping against the swinging door, Josie stepped through into the bright lights of Eagan’s work space.
Annnnnnnd working he was.
Working his tongue in and out of a woman’s mouth, that is.
She sat on the counter, her short legs never hoping to touch the ground. Eagan stood between her knees, his hand tangled in her unruly hair.
Realizing they weren’t alone, the woman pulled away with a gasp, her shocked gaze falling on Josie while Eagan lifted his head with a lazy smile.
“Hey, Josie. When did you get here?” he asked, clearly not caring about her answer.
She grinned, strolling forward with her hand out. “Earlier. I’m Josie,” she said, introducing herself to the woman.
Eagan stepped back, and the woman wriggled off the counter.
“I’m uh… uh…”
“Clara,” Eagan answered. “This is Clara. She’s new around here.”
“Oh? You work here?”
Clara nodded.
But Josie’s hand remained alone in the space between them. Ooookay. So she wasn’t a hand shaker. Alrighty then.
“Nice to meet you, Clara.”
“Josie is Bethany’s friend. She visits from Memphis a lot,” Eagan explained.
Clara seemed to relax, looking relieved.
“So, what can I do for you, Josie?” he asked, letting his hand settle on the small of Clara’s back. The gesture was sweet and possessive at the same time, and it made Josie’s chest ache.
Sure, she wasn’t looking for a romance, but watching Eagan and Clara now, the way she leaned into him as if he was the pillar she depended on, it made Josie want to feel that way about another. Even if just for the tiniest moment of time.
“I, uh… I’m kind of starving,” she blurted.
Eagan’s grin widened. “You want me to make you something?”
“No, no. I can fend for myself. You two have better things to do.”
Clara shook her head. “It’s no problem,” she rushed out. “Right, Eagan? It’s fine.”
His eyes crinkled around the edges when he gazed down at her. “Sure thing. What would you like to eat, Josie?”
“Well… you have the stuff for nachos? That’s my usual post workout binge.”
“Yep, I can whip up some nachos in no time.” He turned to Clara. “You want some?”
She nodded, and he tweaked her chin before heading for the walk-in.
“He makes really great food,” Clara murmured. “But then, I guess you probably know that.” Her laugh was awkward and Josie considered the woman.
Clara was backward or shy. Or maybe just someone who didn’t talk to others much. She seemed constantly nervous unless she was looking at Eagan. She wasn’t well-dressed or particularly manicured and maintained. Not aiming to please anyone’s eye, but also very unsure of herself. Bad hair don’t care meets doesn’t know her own beauty.
Interesting.
Refreshing.
Josie liked her.
“Relax, hon. Any friend of Eagan’s is a friend of mine.”
Clara let out a heavy breath. Like Josie’s words had lifted some weight. “Not sure if that’s true for the others though. Not with everything that’s happened.” Her tone was low and quiet. As if she was imparting a vital secret.
But Josie was all about juicy gossip. She called it, reviewing all the angles. Everyone had a different side to the same story.
“Yeah,” she murmured, brow scrunching in commiseration. “That… that was really something, huh?”
Clara nodded, her eyes wide. “I never meant to make Magic so mad, you know. Me and Eagan just wanted to be together.”
Josie waved her hand in the air. “Aw, don’t worry. Magic’s a stick in the mud. I’m sure he’ll get over it.”
“But… his panther came out, and they told me how much he doesn’t like to shift. He even took a swipe at Eagan. I don’t know if he’ll ever accept us.”
Clara chewed her lip in nervous thought, but Josie was as lost as a lipstick in a handbag.
“His panther?”
Clara nodded. “You know how those cat-men are. Wait, are you one? I assumed you were human since you’re friends with Beth.”
Cat-men? Human? The fuck was this woman talking about?
“No, you’re right. I’m most definitely a human.” Josie managed a smile, while her brain scrabbled to follow Clara’s story.
“Whew. I thought so. It’s so nice to see another friendly human around here.” Her words were so heartfelt and genuine, Josie had to wonder if perhaps the woman was a few fries short of a milkshake.
“Well, don’t you worry, hon. I’m sure things will get better.”
“I hope so. Eagan would love to stay here with his clan. I don’t want him to lose that because of me.” Her eyes went wide and she held her hands up. “And I paid back everything I took from the lodge. Even paid back the things I took from other places. So… I’m clean now, you know. My conscience is clean. And I’ll never steal from others like that again. I’ve learned my lesson.”
Josie’s mouth opened and closed without making words. There was no understanding this woman. She was ready to chalk it up to Clara being clinically insane, but then Eagan stumbled from the walk-in, arms full of ingredients, and looking guilty. His wide-eyed stare landed on Josie and he shook his head.
“What exactly is going on here?” Josie laughed. It felt like she was missing the punch line of a big joke. Except nobody was laughing.
Something serious had gone down at the lodge involving this woman and Magic and… cat-men?
What the hell?
Eagan set the food on the counter near the stove and began prepping the cheese sauce.
“You’re uh, going to need to talk to Bethany when I finish making your food. She can explain things,” he said, moving quickly.
Clara frowned, looking between him and Josie.
�
��Oh shit,” she whispered. “I screwed up, didn’t I?”
Eagan nodded, but that was the only answer.
Silence descended on the kitchen as Josie waited for her food.
Oh, she’d talk to Bethany all right. If there was a troublemaker at the lodge that wasn’t her, she needed to know about it.
Josie eyed Clara.
And maybe befriend it.
She grinned. Troublemakers unite!
Chapter Five
It was the thing that made him dread sleep. It was the thing that made him wish morning could be an all day occurrence. That made him toss and twist, trying to escape something he could never forget. The thing that drenched him in sweat even while his blood went cold and his chest seized in agony.
A dream. It was a dream.
One he’d been trying to avoid for as many years as his mate was gone.
She was there, smiling and happy. In the dream, she loved him. She didn’t doubt him. In the dream, she hadn’t given up on them. Left him.
It was all different, yet it was the same.
He loved seeing her happy. Hated what was coming next.
Always, he tried to wake. His animal knew this wasn’t real, knew he dreamt of a ghost. A lost one. The smiles were lies, her lips curving into something Magic couldn’t relate to. The laughter was lies, the sound causing his ears to ache to the point of busting. The only relief was that she never touched him. Not once did Mandi ever touch him in his dreams, and for that he could thank the Creator.
If the good part of the dream was hard to get through, the bad part was living breathing hell.
He never knew when it would happen, but in a blink, things would shift. Her lying smiles turned to frowns, her deceiving laughter turned to tears. The sun that shone bright in the sky turned dark as night. The calm breeze became a blustery wind, picking up speed the harder she cried. She was spun up in a whirlwind of darkness, her hands floundering to find purchase.
Magic used to reach for her. He used to be desperate to hold her, keep her, anything to make it stop. The sadness, hers and his. The guilt, his. But she was forever just out of reach.
Now he despised her. Not the real Mandi who lived and breathed and was his life for a very short span of time, but the dream Mandi who refused to let him rest no matter how sorry he was or how powerful his regrets. It didn’t matter that he’d give anything to undo what had happened to them.