by Robin Mahle
“Look at me, Spencer.”
With reluctance, he did as she asked and returned her gaze.
“I was kidnapped. I was raped. By all rights, I should be dead. It’s only by the grace of God that I don’t remember the worst of it.”
“We can get you counseling to help you deal with it. Why do think you can find this man and catch him when the police haven’t been able to for more than twenty years?”
“Because I have to.” That was it. She knew it was really over; his face revealed as much. The resolve she felt frightened the hell out of her. It must have terrified Spencer.
He stood up and kissed her on the forehead. “Goodbye, Katie. I’ll never stop loving you, no matter what.” He retrieved the books from the table and approached the door. It seemed as though he was waiting just another millisecond, maybe hoping she’d reconsider. The door then opened a moment later and Spencer Harris walked out of Katie’s life, for good this time.
13
The missing girl from McCloud was a dead end. Summer was over as nearly three months had passed with no new information from the chief or from their research. Marshall continued with his new case involving the abduction of a five-year-old boy from La Jolla. The high-profile investigation brought with it a lot of media attention. The family was wealthy and had hired private detectives to work in conjunction with the SDPD. This made life difficult for Detective Avery.
Katie was with the Department now—only in a civilian role—but it was a start and she had transferred a couple of weeks ago at Marshall’s recommendation. She had to pass an exam, but she was now part of the department that collected and analyzed crime scene evidence. It also allowed her an opportunity to continue working with Marshall and gave him a chance to take her under his wing.
However, progress on her search was at a standstill and was growing colder by the minute. She felt like they had lost the momentum they had at the discovery of the letter to the chief. There was nothing left for them to do, so she buried herself in her work.
“Kate? You ready to head out? I want you to come with me to the Whittaker house. We’re gonna meet with Callahan and the parents. They want updates.”
Callahan was the private detective. He seemed to be more interested in the media than in solving the case, but Detective Avery was asked by his captain to stay on the guy’s good side. He didn’t want any bad press for the department.
Katie grabbed her file and notebook and walked into Marshall’s office. As they were about to leave, his phone rang.
“Detective Avery,” he answered. “Yeah, Dave, how are ya?” Marshall glanced at Katie.
She had no idea who Dave was, but felt a little concerned about the look he gave her.
“Okay, yeah. I’d appreciate that, Dave; thanks very much. Get back with me when you know more. Okay, bye.” He returned his cell to his pocket. “That was Dave Landon from the Eureka P.D. He’s the guy I asked to look into Jennifer Chase’s file?”
“Yeah, of course; did they find her? Is she alive?” Katie never stopped thinking about that little girl who reminded her so much of herself. Even though they believed it was a dead end, her heart leaped at the possibility that they might have found her alive.
“They don’t know, Kate. Landon called to tell me that they found a sweater a few miles from the girl’s house. It was the one she wore the day she was abducted.”
“They know it was hers?” Excitement turned to dread. Finding articles of clothing was never a good thing, if one expected the victim to be alive. She’d been around Detective Avery enough to know that much by now.
“The parents confirmed it. He called to tell me they’re going to run forensics and let me know the results. It’ll take a few days.”
“Then they’ll enter it in CODIS to find a match, right?”
“You’re getting the hang of this stuff, Kate. Yeah, they’ll cross-reference to see if anything comes up. Don’t hold your breath, though. This girl might look like you, but that doesn’t mean whoever took her is the same person who took you. Right now, I’m just looking for some sort of connection; anything that we can run on.”
Katie tried to hide her disappointment and made a valiant attempt, but she could see he wasn’t buying it.
“I know this has been a long road that hasn’t led us very far, but we have to remain diligent. You know what they don’t do in the cop shows? They don’t show you that it can take months and years to solve a case. It’s not glamorous and only occasionally is it exciting. Mostly, it’s long hours, sifting through mountains of profiles, interviews, evidence. You know that. You caught a glimpse of that helping me with Johansen. But we will get there in the end. I’m not giving up and I know you won’t either. Let’s just sit tight for a few days and see what Landon comes up with.”
Katie wondered how he did it; how he stayed so positive. In the face of all the evil that surrounded his daily life, how could he manage that sort of clarity? She supposed that was what made him such a good detective. However, it also made her wonder about his personal life. They never spoke about it much and in the time they’d known each other, she had never seen him with a woman. He never mentioned if he had a girlfriend. Only now did Katie realize how selfish she must seem to him. He knew everything about her and she knew virtually nothing about him.
“You’re right. I’m sorry; it’s not at all like TV. If it was, you’d be dressed in an Armani suit and driving an SUV.”
“Hey, you gotta problem with my polo shirt and khakis? And I happen to like my Camaro, thank you very much. I had to wait a long time to get my pick of a car like that. That drug dealer didn’t want to give it up. Grab your stuff; we’ve got to go meet Mr. Private Detective.”
Marshall and Katie walked down the front steps of the palatial Whittaker estate, which overlooked the ocean. The meeting lasted more than an hour and several news stations’ vans were still parked out on the lawn. This sort of crime didn’t discriminate. Here was one of the wealthiest families in southern California and they couldn’t protect their child any more than the parents of the McCloud girl could.
“So what was the point of that meeting?” Katie asked.
“You got me. I think it just gave Callahan an excuse to get in front of the cameras again. I wonder when he’ll realize this case isn’t about him; it’s about that little boy.”
“Those poor parents. Did you see the mother? She looked like she hadn’t slept in days.” Katie said. “I don’t know how she manages to keep it together.”
“She’s doing what she has to do to get her kid back.” Marshall checked the time on his watch. “I’m thinking it’s getting too late to head back to the station. You wanna go and grab a beer?”
“Sure, why not.”
It had been a long time since they’d done anything social together. After Isabelle’s case went to trial, Detective Avery had to prepare to be called to the stand. Katie had helped him to ensure that the i’s were dotted and the t’s were crossed. All of this left little time to work on finding him, but Marshall did what he could and it was proving to be more of a challenge than he expected. Neither of them had given up, not yet anyway. So, she was glad for an opportunity to go and hang out with him and not think about it for a while.
They arrived at the sports bar near the courthouse. It seemed that was where most of the cops hung out when they were waiting for their cases to be heard in court. Katie was still very new to the scene and only recognized a few of the guys they bumped into as they looked for a table. It was slow, but then again, it was a Wednesday afternoon and probably a little too early for a beer, but in this line of work, you take a break when you can. She’d put in a lot of late nights working on Marshall’s cases. They both had.
“Can I ask you something?” Katie asked, sipping on her light beer.
“Shoot.”
“In the time we’ve known each other, you’ve never mentioned a girlfriend or wife or anything. Do you have either one of those things?”
“Why? You want to ask me ou
t or something?”
Katie smiled and a flush of pink filled her cheeks. “Be serious. You never talk about your personal life. You’ve read my file; you know everything there is to know about me and yet I know nothing about you. Have you ever been engaged, or married, or lived with a woman?”
“Yes, no, and yes.” He finished off his beer and motioned the bartender for another.
“Care to elaborate?” she asked.
“Not exactly, but I’m guessing you’d like me to.”
“Marshall, I’m being serious here.”
“Okay, so I was engaged once, when I was about your age actually, so I guess it’s been about eight years or so. I met her in college. We moved in together after we graduated and then I went into the police academy. She wasn’t happy about my decision. She thought it would be too dangerous, being a cop.”
“Doesn’t seem an unreasonable assumption,” Katie said.
“No, not unreasonable. After I made it onto the force, she supported me. It was hard, but she kept herself busy with her work and I was busy with mine. She never really asked me about the job. I think she was afraid to know.” He had already started on his second beer now.
This was probably the most uncomfortable Katie had ever seen him. His voice sounded tense and uneven.
“A few years passed; she was getting anxious to get married and I loved her and wanted her to be happy, so we got engaged. By that time, I had been made a detective. My hours grew longer and my patience grew shorter. Not a good combination.” He took another swig. “You know, it’s funny; I actually see a lot of myself in you. We’ve gone down completely different paths in life and yet here we both are, looking for the same thing.”
“I guess you’re right. So, what happened? Did you two just grow apart?”
“No, nothing like that. I was working on a sexual assault case. That’s what I used to do before I moved to missing persons. We’d been working a case and followed up on a lead from an anonymous tip. We showed up at the suspect’s house. The place smelled like a damn meth lab.” Marshall looked away, appearing hesitant, but after a moment, he continued. “Long story, short, the guy had a knife on him and he took a swing at my leg after I got him to the ground. He just missed my femoral artery. It was the first and so far, God willing, the only injury I ever sustained on the job. But it freaked her out. She insisted I quit and of course, I couldn’t do that. So, that was it. We were done.”
Marshall hid his emotions exceptionally well, but not this time. Katie saw a glimpse similar to the look Spencer had given her on their last encounter. A hint of regret.
“You loved her,” she said.
“Yeah, well, that and three dollars will get you a cup of coffee. It’s not like this job accommodates a healthy relationship anyway. I’m always working; I hang out with the dregs of society. Present company excluded, of course. These are not appealing things to most women.”
“I assume you have a family? You don’t talk about them either.”
“What is this? Are you planning on writing a book? Maybe you should be a detective.”
“Maybe I should.”
“Maybe you should.” His green eyes pierced through her protective exterior with a fervent look that took her by surprise.
“I can’t imagine where I’d be if you hadn’t come into my life, Marshall. I tried so hard to be the person Spencer wanted me to be. Then you gave me that book. You saw right through me. I don’t know how, but you did.”
“I know what it means to need to find answers. I see so much of myself in you, it scares me sometimes.”
“What answers are you still looking for, Marshall?”
He grinned and shook his head. “See? You’re just like me.” He took the last mouthful of beer. “Well, I suppose you’d like to get home. I don’t have anything for you tomorrow, so that’ll give you time to catch up on your paperwork. I assume we’ll hear back from Landon by Friday or Monday. Either way, I’ll let you know.” Marshall threw a couple of tens on the bar. “I’ll drop you back off at the station to get your car.”
The eagerly anticipated call came in on Monday morning. Marshall’s contact at the Eureka PD had the forensics results on Jennifer Chase’s file. Katie believed the little girl from McCloud who looked so much like her as a kid had to get some sort of justice. And, if it just so happened that maybe they might get a suspect as a result, all the better.
Her drive into work stretched into an eternity. Why was it that when one was in a hurry, delays hurled themselves from every direction? Her expectations grew dangerously high. Marshall already warned her not to get her hopes up. This was a shot in the dark that any connection at all could be established. The missing girl was similar in appearance and age and she had disappeared in similar fashion and location. But the difference was that their cases were twenty-three years apart. Katie was pinning her hopes on a very slim chance.
If the suspect had DNA entered into CODIS for any previous conviction and that was cross-referenced for a match with Jennifer’s clothing, they would have an identity. They would then have to hope that the suspect was at least in his late forties to be connected to her. It was rare for a serial killer to be younger than twenty, although it was not impossible. There were so many variables and she struggled to maintain focus.
Katie rushed into Marshall’s office. His face revealed nothing, but that was no surprise. He was a master at poker face; it was part of the job.
“Sorry I’m late. Traffic was pretty bad.”
“No problem, Kate. Have a seat.” Marshall turned his computer monitor so she could see it. He opened up an email from Detective Landon. There were several files attached to the email. Marshall opened the file labeled “Labs.”
“Have you already seen this?” she asked.
“Yes.”
His refusal to offer further details was a cause for concern, but still, Katie waited patiently as the file loaded on the computer screen.
“Okay, what we’re looking at is the summary from forensics. They were able to pull a good sample of DNA off the victim’s sweater. The results were cross-matched in CODIS, but nothing came up, no match.” Marshall was now looking Katie squarely in the eyes, ensuring she’d heard him correctly. “There was no match, Kate. I’m sorry.”
Her breath became labored as she struggled to keep her emotions intact. “So that’s it? No match means we don’t have a suspect? There’s no place else to look?”
“We don’t have a suspect. But what this does mean is that they’ve entered the information into CODIS, so if another sample is cross-referenced down the road and a match is found, they’ll be able to connect the cases. That’s a good thing.”
“That’s a good thing, but not for me.”
“It was a long shot, Kate. You knew that going in.”
“I did. I guess I just thought I had some sort of connection with her. All the dreams and the memories, everything that I’ve been through in the past six months boiled down to seeing this little girl on the news. I know it was a long shot, but I was banking on it.”
“Kate, the important thing here is that you’re helping other victims now. That is the purpose of your having survived something so unimaginably horrible. I did say that this would be a long road to hoe. He showed his hand by sending that letter to the chief. He’s not done. I promise you that. We just have to be patient.” Marshall tried to comfort her, but she resisted.
Katie walked out, her anger consuming her beyond the point of consolation. Marshall might have thought the two of them were alike, but she hadn’t anywhere near his level of patience. Of course, she had been the victim, not him.
In the days that followed, Katie’s nightmares returned with a vengeance, but they were now about Isabelle Thompson, Jennifer Chase, and the others whom she could not save. She was losing her sense of self, the one thing of which she had always maintained control, until she had discovered the truth of her past.
Marshall hadn’t called her; she expected as much and knew
it was his way of giving her time to deal with this latest blow. However, she discovered later on in the week that he had taken the liberty of contacting Sam, a fact that Sam revealed during their conversation.
“Do you want me to come see you? I can be on the next plane,” Sam said.
“No. I’ll be fine. I just need to get my head around this. I know Marshall’s right; I just don’t know if I can sit back and wait.”
“But there’s nothing else for you to do, Katie. Maybe you should go back to Dr. Reyes and continue with the counseling, especially since the nightmares have been so bad.”
“I don’t know if it’ll do any good. I feel like I’ve lost everything.”
“You will get through this, Kate. You’re stronger than you think. I can’t say I’m not a little relieved you’re taking a step back from pursuing the man who tried to kill you. It’s not something I can even hope to understand because it wasn’t me who went through what you did. I just want you to be safe.”
“I know, Sam. Thank you. It’s getting late; I’ve got a lot of work to do in the morning, so I’m going to call it a night. I’m glad you phoned, although I wish Marshall hadn’t worried you.”
“He was concerned. You know, I’m glad you have a friend like him down there for you. I wish it could be me, but there’s a reason certain people come into our lives. He is supposed to be there for you now. I believe that very much.”
“Listen, you know I love you and I’ll be okay. I’ll plan on coming to see you around the holidays. I’m going to stay with my parents. It’s been a long time since I’ve been home for Christmas. Good night, Sam.”
Dusk was giving way to dark when Katie opened the door to her apartment. The fall nights were getting cold now, even by San Diego standards. She tossed her coat on the back of the dining chair. The mail had been strewn across the table along with her bag and keys. Sifting through the barrage of junk mail, Katie spotted an envelope with no return address. The child-like handwriting sent a bolt of adrenaline through her as she read the name. She slowly pulled the letter toward her in order to be sure she was reading it clearly. It was addressed to “Little Katie Reid.”