He didn’t even flinch, or ask for clarification, or look horrified as he set me down. “I’m not sure.” His kiss was light, a reminder of how gentle he could be. “Is making love the slow, gentle, deep kind with lots of kissing and moaning and long strokes? When you know without words that there’s no one else the other person has wanted to be with more than you? Or that the physical connection isn’t nearly as powerful as the emotional one?”
I nodded without breathing, afraid everything I felt was just a trick of the mind. A cruel lie my heart was leading me toward. “Have you ever done that before?”
“Well, I’ve done slow and deep. I think that’s the making part of it.” A smile barely touched his lips.
“Have you ever done the other parts?” I wasn’t even sure what I wished his response would be. That he’d never felt like this either, or that he had and could tell me it wasn’t as terrifying as it seemed.
“No,” he said after a moment, his eyes never leaving mine. “What about you?”
“I don’t…” I shook my head. “I don’t think I’m ready for that.”
“But you could be? With the right person and the right timing.”
I wouldn’t have thought so, but... “Yeah. I think so.”
“Good to know.” He kissed me again, a little longer than before. “Definitely good to know.”
“But…” I ran my lips between my teeth. “For now, I think I need someone to practice with.”
He cocked a brow. “I’ve been looking for a good opportunity to volunteer somewhere. This one might work.”
I sighed when I felt the warmth of his breath on my neck, then again when his mouth touched my skin.
“It’s going to be hard.”
“Believe me, I already am,” he said, chuckling.
After unsuccessfully trying to push him away, l left my hands on his abs, closing my eyes as my fingertips traced each muscle. “I meant difficult.”
“Only if you keep me waiting much longer.”
I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. “It’ll take a lot more patience than that, Declan.”
“Will I be inside you when this patience is required?”
“Partially.” I tilted my head to give him more room as he reached a spot just under my ear. “The patience will be required, not you. You’re required to be all the way inside.”
He let out a heavy breath when my hand ran the length of his erection. The rough fabric of his jeans kept me from stroking him the way we both needed me to.
“Jesus, woman. You’re killing me.”
“I want you inside me, Declan,” I moaned in his ear. “Now.”
He looked around us, cursing under his breath before dragging me into the late-night coffee shop across the street.
He set me down long enough to take ten bucks out of his pocket and drop it onto the counter. “We’ll have two cups of coffee and the keys to the bathroom.”
“Oh, my God.” I ducked my face into his side and laughed.
The cashier must have given him a look or said something I didn’t hear, so Declan reached back into his pocket for more cash.
“I better not have to clean up after you,” the cashier said.
“Gross. You won’t—I give you my word.” After picking up the key and then me, Declan headed to the back of the practically empty café, not stopping until we were inside the bathroom.
As soon as the door was closed, he pressed my back against it and took my mouth before I could finish gasping. His hands were up my skirt, in my panties, and at my core three seconds later. I tore at his belt and pants, impatience making my movements clumsy
“Here.” He reached into his back pocket with the hand that wasn’t caressing me and shoved his wallet at me. “Condom. Get it out. Fast. I can’t do it with one hand, and I really need to be inside you now.”
I pulled the condom out just as he made my whole body arch and my hand lose grip of his wallet. “I’m sor—”
“Don’t care. I’m losing my mind here, Sara. Hurry the fuck up.”
The second I’d slid the condom onto his cock, he picked me up. He was already pressing against me when both of us realized I still had my panties on.
“Sorry.”
“For what?” I hadn’t finished speaking when he yanked the stretchy fabric to the side so hard it ripped. “Oww!”
“You okay?” He pulled back to look at me, his eyes a mixture of outright need and concern.
“You’re forgiven.” I watched his concern slip away, leaving only lust. “Or you will be, just as soon as you— Oh shit!” I would give up every pair of underwear I had to feel him slide into me like that.
I leaned back and rested my head against the door. My back scraped the wood every time he thrust into me, but I couldn’t ask him to stop.
Wrapped around his waist, my legs fought to pull him deeper inside, even knowing it was impossible to be any closer than we already were. When I felt the intensity build, I clutched his shoulders and neck tighter.
“Fuck,” he groaned, his lips at the base of my throat. “I don’t even think this is making. I can’t do slow making right now, Sara. I’m sorry.”
Sorry? He was sorry for making me forget where we were or that anything else existed?
“Declan? Shut up and fuck me. We can practice making later.”
“God, I think I love you.” He jerked his head back to look at me. “I…”
The expression on the poor guy’s face cracked me up. Attempting to wipe his shock and horrified look away, I put my hand across his open lips.
“Fuck me. Now.”
He nodded quickly and flicked his tongue at two of my fingers when they dipped inside his mouth.
“Then, afterwards, we can do the awkward discussion about saying things you don’t mean during sex. Okay?”
“Um…”
“Make me come, Declan. That’s all you need to think about right now.”
“You’re amazing.” He smiled. “And I’m not just saying that.”
“I think you have something you need to do now,” I said sternly. “So, shut up and do it.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, laughing.
It didn’t take me long—the man had perfect rhythm and his hands were practically magical.
In the middle of one of the best orgasms of my life, my mind momentarily flashed to the barista who could probably hear me screaming. The thought wasn’t enough to diminish any of the pleasure rippling through my body, though. I doubt anything could’ve.
But as I melted, collapsing in Declan’s arms, I did decide to leave some more money in the tip jar on the way out.
21
Sara
Eventually, we made it back to his house and talked until the sky started to lighten up outside. Declan told me about his bandmates and what being on tour was like, but he listened more than he spoke. He nodded along as I complained about school and how I didn’t know what I was going to do after graduation. He laughed as I recounted stupid stories about my parents and growing up in the city. And when I finally shut up and yawned, he pulled the covers up to my chin and made sure I was tucked in properly before starting to hum something.
With my head on his shoulder and his lips on my forehead, I closed my eyes, the vibration of his voice lulling me to sleep.
* * *
I woke up wrapped in his arms, his breath warming my neck. I needed to pee but didn’t want to move. When the horror of peeing in his bed became a distinct possibility, I hurriedly tiptoed into his bathroom, hoping I could sneak back into bed before he woke up.
Once I was done, had washed my hands, and splashed some water on my face, I opened the door to one of the world’s most beautiful sights. Declan was standing right there, in the middle of a full-body, heart-stopping stretch.
“Good morning, stranger.” Before I could respond, he grabbed me around the waist, dragged me against his naked body, and kissed me. A couple of minutes later, he pulled back and grimaced. “That’s some morning bre
ath you’ve got there, babe.”
I smacked him. “You’re not supposed to say that!”
“I didn’t say it was bad—just that it was morning. But don’t worry, I’m man enough to handle it.”
“Gee, thanks.” When he leaned down to kiss me again, I pushed him away, keeping my face tucked down so he wouldn’t be subjected to my breath again.
“I told you I’m man enough to handle it. But I guess you’re not.” After blowing into his hand to check his own breath, he went to the bathroom vanity, opening the mirrored cabinet. Then he paused. “Promise not to get weird about this.”
“About my awful breath?”
“I said morning, not awful.” He shook his head and pulled out a new toothbrush. “Red’s your favorite color, right?”
How did he—?
“That wasn’t me being creepy, by the way.” He must have been responding to my expression. “You mentioned it the night we met.”
“You remembered an off-hand comment I made about my favorite color?”
“And you didn’t remember my name, yeah.” At least he could laugh about it.
“Gee, thanks a lot, Dylan.” I yanked the toothbrush away from him. “Did you really buy this for me?”
He shrugged, his cheeks almost the same color as the toothbrush. “The day after you forgot my name. Yeah. Wishful thinking, I guess.” He closed the cabinet and leaned against the counter. “You could take it home if you want—think of me whenever you put it in your mouth.”
I would’ve caught the innuendo even if he hadn’t added the not-at-all-subtle bounce of his eyebrows.
“Or…I could leave it here for the next girl you bring home.”
“Gross, no. It’d have been in your mouth.”
“My entire body has been in your mouth.”
“Mmm…yeah.” He smiled and smacked his lips together, reaching for me. “And yet, I’m still hungry.”
I pushed him away and ripped open the toothbrush packaging. “Down, boy.”
“Oh shit.” He stood up straight, his eyes wide. “I can’t believe I forgot about her. She’s going to kill me.”
She?
“Hurry up.” He brushed past me and threw on some jeans and a T-shirt. “We gotta go do something.”
With a mouth full of paste, I mumbled, “Where are we going?” But he was already gone. So, I finished brushing and got dressed as fast as I could. He whizzed past me again to brush his own teeth. As soon as he was done, he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the apartment. But we didn’t head for the elevator—we turned left, went twenty feet down the hallway and stopped in front of the apartment next door.
He faced me and spoke seriously. “Before this goes any further, I need you to meet someone.”
“Okay,” I said slowly, skeptically.
“She’s the most important thing in my life, and her opinion means everything.”
I suddenly got nervous. It was a little early to be meeting his parents. “What if she doesn’t like me?”
“She will. Unless you like cats. You don’t, do you?”
“Um…they’re okay.”
“But you don’t have one.”
“Nope. I’ve never had a pet.”
“Wow. That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. Not even when you were a kid?”
I shook my head. “My mother wouldn’t allow them. She values her furniture too much. Anything that sheds or might pee on the rug isn’t welcome in her home.”
“Then she’d hate Trevor,” he said, laughing. “At least when he’s drunk.”
“Actually, she loves everyone when she’s drunk.” Mostly. “So, who am I meeting now?”
“Kitty.”
Before I could ask who Kitty was, a long-haired brunette about our age opened the door with a smile. She was pretty and really tall. Great. So this was—
“Rebecca, this is Sara, my…someone I’m not dating.” Thankfully, he was looking over the woman’s shoulder and didn’t see the confusion all over my face. “I want to introduce her to my little girl. Where is she?”
His what? It sounded as if he’d said his “little girl,” but that was impossible.
“Nice to meet you, Sara,” Rebecca said, rolling her eyes at Declan. “Kitty got a little grumpy when I tried to move her food, so she’s in timeout in my bedroom.”
“Timeout?” I knew my eyes were enormous with confusion. Not mentioning he was a musician was one thing, but not mentioning that he had a kid? That was…something I’d panic over soon, but not in front of Rebecca or a kid. “How old is she?”
“We’re not exactly sure,” Rebecca said as we passed through her living room.
I may have complimented her on the apartment, but I wasn’t sure. Everything had suddenly become foggy. I’d been in shock before, and it was never pleasant. Time moved differently, and my body struggled to stay upright. The worst part was that it also made it impossible to think clearly—thoughts zipping around by the hundreds yet none of them sticking around long enough to grasp on to.
A kid.
Declan turned to me. “I found her living on the streets in LA about two years ago, all matted and hungry. But nearest I can figure, she’s about four now.”
“Oh, my God, that’s…horrible,” I managed with a lot of effort. Every word took focus. “How could someone do that to a child?”
Both of them stared at me for a second before busting out laughing.
“Kitty isn’t a kid, Sara. She’s my very hairy, very opinionated Goldendoodle.” He waited for me to acknowledge I knew what the fuck a Goldendoodle was. I wasn’t quite there yet. “My dog. Kitty’s my dog.”
“Oh,” I said, covering my eyes in embarrassment. Thankfully, it also gave me a chance to clear my head. I felt the adrenaline drop. “I actually know what those are.”
“Are you okay?” Rebecca asked.
“Sara?” Declan grabbed a chair and slipped it behind me, easing me down into it. “Are you allergic to them?”
“I don’t think so.” Recover, damn it. And do it quickly. I pasted on a smile and looked up at their worried faces. “I’ve never dated anyone who had a dog.”
“We’re dating?” Declan smirked. “You sure about that?”
I shrugged. “Maybe we should let Kitty decide.” When I moved to stand, he put his hand on my shoulder to keep me seated.
“Actually, it might be better to stay sitting down. Kitty’s a lot more Golden than Doodle, and you don’t weigh that much. When you add her momentum to the equation…” He grimaced. “At least you’ll know she’s coming and can brace yourself for the eighty-pound pounce.”
I gripped the chair when Rebecca opened her bedroom door. A huge, caramel-colored beast came barreling out of the room, heading straight for me. At the last minute, she swerved toward Declan. As she said hello to her…dad, I guess, her tail hammered me in the shin.
“Calm down, girl. I want you to meet someone.” He knelt on one knee and put his hand on my thigh, patting it gently. “This is Sara. She finally just admitted that we’re dating.” He glanced up at me, smirking.
I let Kitty sniff my hand and waited for a four-year-old shaggy dog to pass judgment. It wasn’t as if I’d never touched a dog before. It was just that I’d never cared if one liked me before.
When he ruffled the hair on her head, his smile unending, it hit me—this dog was Declan’s family. My desperate need of her approval meant that Declan wasn’t someone I could walk away from without looking back. There was nothing casual about we were doing.
This was real.
And the scariest part was how good it felt.
22
Sara
“I knew she would like you,” Declan said as he handed me Kitty’s leash. “But the last test is to see if she accepts you into our pack.”
“You mean I have to prove I’m worthy by going on a walk?” I took the lead warily. As soon as Kitty saw it, she went wild, running around the apartment like her tail was on fire.
“I�
��m more worried she’ll take you for a walk, so you have to show her who’s boss.”
Great.
“Kitty,” I called. She ignored me. If I couldn’t even clip the leash onto her collar, I’d fail the test. I tried again. “Kitty, come here.” For some reason I stamped my foot, as if that had actually worked for anyone.
Declan just stood there, smiling, watching me make a fool of myself.
“You’re not going to help me at all, are you?”
He shook his head.
“I had no idea you had such a mean streak in you, Declan,” Rebecca said, “You’re doing fine, Sara. You should’ve seen the way Kitty blew off my fiancé when they met. She’s not shy about telling someone how she really feels about them.”
“Was that supposed to be encouraging?” I asked as the dog happily ignored me.
“You have to make her listen to you. Try it again. More firmly this time.”
“Kitty,” I said in the lowest pitch I could manage, willing her to listen.
Declan chuckled. Luckily, Rebecca told him to shut up so I didn’t have to.
“Come here. Now, Kitty,” I repeated in my phony baritone. It sounded ridiculous, even to me. But at least it got her attention. She stopped running and sat down near Rebecca.
I couldn’t tell for sure, but there was a good chance Kitty was laughing at me, too. I raised an eyebrow and held the leash out to her. We stared at each other silently.
“What are you doing?” Declan asked quietly.
“Not sure. I think we’re having a battle of wills.”
“Ah. Who’s winning?”
“Whoever blinks first. Wait. Do dogs have eyelids?”
When he and Rebecca both busted out laughing, Kitty’s tail reacted, wagging so hard, her whole body swayed with it.
I swatted him. “Shut up and let me prove my dominance.”
“As long as you try it with me next time we’re naked.”
Immaterial Defense: Once and Forever #4 Page 16