Twisted Christmas

by Sara Cate

  My eyes give the redhead a once-over, lips twitching into a small smile. “Yeah, well, I had my reasons. Christmas miracle and all that.”

  He laughs lightly. “Whatever you say, kid. I’ll take what I can get. How’s the team shaping up?”

  His question makes my eyebrows pop up. My parents know what I do but they never ask more than once or twice a year about how it’s going. And he seems genuinely interested based on the smooth expression on his face. “The boys are good. Great, actually. They’ve got a decent shot at going to the end this year.”

  His hand squeezes my shoulder. “Tell me about them. What are their stats? Last I heard, one of them had scouts looking at him.”

  And that’s how I spend a solid hour talking to my father about hockey. Something I haven’t done in a long ass time.

  Chapter 9

  Adelaide

  * * *

  It takes two hours before I can drag Noah into a spare bedroom and close the door behind us. The noise of the party, still in full swing, is drowned out by the wood separating me and my very drunk and disgruntled friend from everyone else.

  I shake my head as I turn and watch him drop down onto the edge of the mattress. He’s grasping a half-empty bottle of something clear—tequila, I think. A favorite of his mother’s that I can’t believe he swiped from the table and has been going to town on all night. “I think it’s time for some water,” I tell him, holding out the bottle I’d taken for myself. He needs it more than I do.

  He glares at the offering, slurring, “I don’t want that.”

  Because he’s too drunk, I manage to grab the tequila away from him and shove the water into his hands without a fight. “I know don’t want it, but you need to. Your liver is going to shut down by the time you’re thirty if you keep this up. What are you going to do when you need a transplant and can’t work until you’re healthy?”

  What if you die?

  I don’t voice that concern.

  “You have every right to be angry for what I did. I’m angry with myself for letting my emotions get the better of me. It was wrong to do what I did with Daire.”

  “Fuck him, you mean?” His glare is now directed at me as he uncaps the water and starts chugging it.

  I wince but push past his harsh words. I deserve them.

  His jaw ticks, eyes turning wary as he sits and watches me in silence.

  “The entire time we’ve been best friends, I looked up to you and your brother. I saw two guys who knew what they wanted and went after it. You used to tease me like you couldn’t understand why I found you both so interesting. But I couldn’t help myself. You’re both driven to make the most out of your lives which is what I want too. Then I developed a crush on Dairen, and it never really went away because he was still the person I admired so much. Especially when he went after his dream to be part of the NHL. I just stopped thinking about him so much because I had you, our friendship, and my career that I was trying to build.

  “I wanted so bad for there to be a day when things just…fell into place. A day when my career took off, and when Daire opened his eyes and realized how much he liked me. Loved me, even. Stupid, right? I knew what his plans in life were. I used to tell Grandma Rose about him and hockey all the time, and she said the same thing every time. ‘If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen.’ So, I let it be. Focused on my career. Got the role on the show. Solidified my part in this industry to make something of my life beyond being your friend or my mother’s daughter. You were always sweet and treated me with the kind of respect that not everybody in this industry gave me. You’ve always been my best friend, Noah.”

  My friend evades my eyes.

  Hesitantly, I walk up to him until he has no choice but to pay attention. “The problem is that friend I’d bragged to everybody about having stopped acting nice to me a long time ago. Do you know how many promises you’ve broken that I’ve let go of because being angry all the time was too time consuming? How many times you’ve ditched me for other people? People who are more rich, more famous than me? How many times you’ve made me go back to my apartment alone and worry because I didn’t know where you were? I was worried about you until Daire showed up at the party last night. Then I…I stopped worrying because the guy I wanted in my life was there and he was telling me you were with Brynn.”

  Noah winces.

  “Noah, I love you. As a friend. My best friend. And I wish I could still say the same now, but I can’t.” His eyes snap to mine, his brows furrowing like he can’t believe somebody would ever fall out of love with him in any form. “You stopped showing me respect a long time ago. I just never wanted to see it. Friends don’t treat each other this way. Truthfully, I don’t know why I ever let you and our agents convince me to pretend we’re dating. Not for this long. The show has been over for almost a year. Why are we still doing this? Why are we acting like we don’t want to be with other people?”

  His lips curl down at the corners as he reaches out to touch my wrist. “Addy—”

  I shake my head and move back. “No. I’ve helped you over and over because you said this act will help both of us. But maybe I don’t want that. You’re ten times more famous than anyone I know, and you think that makes you invincible, but what about the rest of us? I’m not on your level. The press may not be able to touch you, but they can touch me. And what happens when you do lose it all because you can’t stop being such a dick to the people that matter most in your life?”

  He cringes at my brashness. I probably would too if I wasn’t so high on the confidence of making him listen to me for once in his life.

  “The drinking, the girls, the blowing people off who care about you—” The growing list makes his cheeks flush. “—that’s all going to make people stop trying. I don’t want to feel bad for spending the night with a guy that I’ve always liked. I’m sorry that person is your brother, but he was there for me when you weren’t. When your brother showed up, my feelings only resurfaced because he was finally paying attention to me. Telling me I was beautiful. Taking care of me in ways…” I stop myself. “We were both in the city, both old enough to make our own choices, even if I shouldn’t have made the one I did. Not until talking to you first. I let my anger toward you fuel me. I’m sorry for how things happened, but not that they did.

  “I mean, Daire was nice to me when he saw me outside debating on whether or not I was still invited here today. He didn’t make me feel weird about our time together. Didn’t make me feel like shit about what I chose to do with my body or who I chose to do it with.”

  His palm swipes down his face. “Of course, you were still invited. Christ, Adelaide. I know I’ve been—” He searches for the word.

  “An asshole?”

  He grumbles, “I was going to say difficult.” I snort, causing him to glare. Except, this time it’s in exasperation. It’s something I can work with. “I’ve been difficult, and yeah, a little bit of an asshole—”

  “A lot. You’ve been an ass a lot lately.”

  Noah levels with me. “Fine. Call it what you want. I can’t really argue. What I’m trying to say is that, regardless of how I act, you’re always welcome here. My family is yours. I know this time of year for you is hard. You need to be around people who care about you. Even if things are weird right now, I do care about you. I always have and I always will.”

  When he reaches out, I don’t pull away. He tugs me toward the bed to sit next to him, his breath still making me want to gag but his eyes sobering over this conversation. My teeth bite down on my inner cheek as he interweaves our fingers together and rests them on his leg.

  “You know how much I care about you,” he repeats. “And I shouldn’t have dragged out this arrangement. I thought it would be good for us. For you…”

  Staring at our hands, I nod. “I know, but I want people to know me for being a hard worker. Not because you’re my best friend or my boyfriend. Not because of who my mother is. Definitely not for who my dad is. I’m trying to def
ine who I am, and you’re not helping if you make a huge deal out of this fake relationship when neither of us are invested in it.”

  We’re quiet as he soaks that in.

  Then, he says, “It had to be my brother?”

  Internally, I groan. “The crush hasn’t let go yet. It’s stupid…”

  “Agreed,” he mumbles.

  “But things happened with us. The feelings are there, at least for me.” His hand twitches in mine, so I squeeze it. “I can’t take it back. Any of it. He was my first kiss. I know I never told you that.” His wide eyes bolt to mine. “I lied when I said it was Mark on set. But can you blame me? I knew you’d freak out.”

  His lips press together.

  “He was basically my first everything and that’s going to mean something to me for a long time even if he doesn’t want this to be anything more than it is. Maybe he and I are going at it all the wrong way but—”

  “I really don’t want to hear about how you and my brother are going at it.”

  I smack him. “Not like that! I mean our relationship, or whatever it is, may not be forming the way I picture it. I’m not dumb, Noah. I know he has a job and house to go back to that’s not here. I know he’s leaving tomorrow. And I know that I’ll be busy soon.”

  “Really busy,” he emphasizes.

  “Can we agree that this needs to end, though? The pretending? The drinking? The attitude. You need to listen to your agent and your mom if you won’t to me. You love your career, but there’s going to be a point when people won’t want to take a risk on your because you’re always drunk or in the tabloids for being with the wrong kind of people. I can’t be your buffer anymore. Not with your agent. Not with the press. I don’t want to be pitied or made fun of for not keeping your attention because you’ve been seen with other people. I need to take care of myself for once.”

  My best friend’s eyes are pained. “I never wanted you to have to take care of me, Addy. And I never wanted you to feel like that from people.”

  “But that’s what happened.”

  He’s quiet again.

  “You know I’m always here for you, but I can’t be the person who gets you out of trouble by flashing a smile at the cameras while we’re out together. I’m getting nothing out of it except…” Well, what I’m getting or not getting isn’t important. “I’ve got so much riding on my own reputation now that I’ve secured this role. I can’t risk anything.”

  His head drops a fraction as he takes a deep breath. “I really have been a shitty friend, huh?”

  I turn toward him. “Hey, I agreed to do all this stuff with you. It’s not just on you for how long it’s gone on. But it needs to end for my peace of mind. Plus, you don’t need me as long as you stop drinking so much. And maybe scale down the being-seen-with-multiple-women thing. That makes you look sleezy.”

  A smile grows on my face when he laughs at the true statement. “Yeah, I guess it doesn’t make me look great.”

  “Especially when you’re supposed to be dating someone else,” I point out, eyeing him.

  He makes a face. “Point made.” The sigh escaping him is heavy as he tightens his grip on my hand before raising it to his lips to press a kiss against. “My brother is mad at me for reasons I deserve. I know it. I’ve known it for years. But there was nothing I could ever do or say that’d make it better for him.”

  “Have you tried?”

  A shoulder lifts. “I offered him money for the surgeries and medication. Stuff that I didn’t want him to cover if he didn’t have to.”

  “What about an apology?”

  Pressing his lips together, he stays silent.

  I shake my head. “I think a genuine apology would make things better than you think. Throwing money at a situation isn’t going to do anything but make him angry, especially if it proves you have what he doesn’t because of what happened.”

  “He was really good at the sport,” he murmurs.

  “Does he know you think that?”

  A head shake.

  “You should tell him,” I say.

  His brown eyes are soft with doubt. “Do you really think talking will help? It’s been years of resentment between us. I hardly think saying sorry and asking about the sport he can’t stand is going to make him feel better.”

  His tone isn’t incredulous, just coated with disbelief. I smile. “Did talking to me help you? Because I know having this conversation made things better with us. Who’s to say it couldn’t work with him?”

  When he doesn’t say anything, I rest my cheek against his shoulder and let him think about it in silence.

  After a few minutes, I say, “Noah?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You really need a shower.”

  He laughs. “I need some food.”

  I pat his leg, let go of his hand, and stand. He watches me as I back toward the door. “You hop in the shower, and I’ll grab us something to eat. Your mom will be happy knowing you’re at least trying to sober up.”

  “She told me to get help.”

  I pause. “It might not be a bad idea.”

  All he does is frown.

  I shrug. “Think about it.”

  When I escape the room, I turn and smack right into a hard chest that has he bouncing backwards. “Geez, sorry about—” My voice cuts off once I see Daire looking down at me with accusation in his dark orbs.

  “You and Lover Boy make up?”

  I cross my arms over my chest at the sneer in his tone. “I feel sorry for you sometimes, Dairen.” He blinks, surprise flickering across his face. “I feel sorry for you because you clearly don’t know what it’s like to forgive. And that probably has a big part to do with Noah and his awful communication skills. But, for your information, yes. Me and my friend made up. Because that’s what friends do.”

  Once again, he blinks. “That easy?”

  I shrug. “He’s going to be mad for how we went about things and it’s going to be weird between us for a while. I mean, he saw my boobs.”

  His eyes instantly go to my chest. “I doubt he minded that part much.”

  I roll my eyes. “I’ve been best friends with your brother for a long time, and that’s all we’ll ever be. He and I both know it, so we can get past it. I highly doubt you going after his flings will make him hate you as much as you hope it does, though. So, if that’s why you’re here talking to me—”

  “He cares about you.”

  “Yeah, he does. And I care about him, but not the way you obviously think. I guess I’m a better actress than people give me credit for if you believe more is going on, even after what he walked into at the hotel. If that’s the case, maybe I’ll win an Oscar after all.”

  Confusion crosses his face, but I don’t let him speak. “I talked to Noah about…stuff. And I think he’s going to want to talk to you. I don’t know what he’ll say or if he’ll chicken out. Because your brother is a chicken. At least about the real stuff that deals with emotions. So, good luck. That’s all I have to say. Enjoy the party.”

  I begin walking around him, but he wraps a hand around my arm to halt me. “You’re something else. You know that, Addy?”

  A grin cracks my lips. “I’ve been told that a time or two. See you around, Daire.”

  I walk away, picking up a new bottle of water when I pass by the table of refreshments. I’m not sure why I do it, but I pull my phone out of my little clutch and type out a text to my mom.

  Me: Merry Christmas. Love you xx

  I don’t expect a reply right away or even wait for one before slipping it back into my bag and walking over to the food.

  Noah’s mom stops beside me as I load up a plate for her son. “Is he okay?” she asks quietly, concern obvious on her features.

  Nodding, I offer a small smile. “He just needs some food. He’s taking a shower now. I think eating will help sober him up a bit. And maybe talking to Daire before the night is over.”

  Wariness crosses her features, but her husband comes up
and pats her back. “I think it’s long overdue, Samantha. Don’t you?”

  With reluctance, Mrs. Scott nods.

  I pass her the plate of food. “I actually think I’m going to head out. Can you give Noah that and make sure he eats?”

  His parents look at me.

  “You’re leaving? You haven’t even opened the presents we got you.” That comes from Mr. Scott, who always makes sure I have something to unwrap along with the boys.

  “I did what I needed to. It’s time I go and let the boys talk.” I think about my DVR full of my favorite Christmas movies and the cookies my agent had delivered for the holidays. “Plus, there’s a script I want to go over for next week. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, though.”

  Kissing them both on the cheeks, I walk back to the elevator feeling oddly satisfied with myself.

  I’m shocked when I get my phone out to call a car and see a response from my mother.

  Mom: Merry Christmas, sweetie! We’ll FaceTime tomorrow after my shift. I love and miss you. xo

  Chapter 10

  Daire

  * * *

  When I was 22, I got a slurred phone call from my 16-year-old brother that had me grabbing my car keys and tracking his cell until I found him stumbling down the sidewalk of St. Mark’s Place in the East Village.

  It was one in the morning, and he was walking a few feet behind a group of people who were calling out to him to catch up. They were all trashed, but nowhere near Noah’s level of intoxication. He could barely keep himself up, stopping every so often to catch himself on a light post or postal box so he didn’t fall.

  That’s where I found him. I’d pulled over and got his attention, recognizing a couple of the people when I jogged over to rescue the idiot who clearly indulged in too much whiskey by the smell of his breath. One of the guys with him was some up-and-coming pop sensation that the news outlets were comparing to Justin Bieber. A leggy brunette with him was the lead singer in a girl band that’s name still escapes my mind. Addy was nowhere to be found. I learned later on that Noah had lied to her about staying in when he was meeting with his buddies for a night out.