by Sara Cate
James kisses me with a hunger and ferocity that resembles what I thought was our last kiss but this is more.
This time I can taste his relief, his intense sexual hunger and… a tad bit of anger.
His tongue plunders my mouth wickedly, then he’s fucking my mouth like he fucked me just hours ago.I can only hold on for dear life as I get swept under his storm, but all too soon, he pulls back.
“Are you still in love with him?” he demands, his eyes a bit wild, his touch slightly rough but I can’t help feel the heat heading south, making me slick and wet in between my legs.
“What?” I gasp.
“My son, are you still in love with him?” he growls.
“Are you crazy?” I demand breathlessly. My head is still spinning from the way he kissed me and now, this.
“I saw the way he was looking at you down there,” he growls. My jaw drops to my fucking flooded panties.
“You’ve got to be shitting me.” I try to push away from him, but instead, he holds me tight. “I didn’t notice how my ex, well, my brother in law was looking at me because I was too busy looking at you! His father! The man I slept with last night and the man who gave me five fucking orgasms in the dark before I realized it wasn’t Knox all those years ago!”
Fuck.
“You lied to me!” I say, feeling frustration and anger bubbling up in my chest all over again, heightened by seeing Knox and Val together. “Last night you just told me your first name, but you… you are him, the man who took a special night I had for Knox but instead, you made me come over and over again--and you never fucked me even when I begged--and then you were gone!” Blurting it out now just shows me one thing. James might not have fucked me the night I wanted to lose my virginity but he did what even Knox never did when we dated. He tattooed his soul onto mine so much so that names didn’t fucking matter. Just his touch, then his voice and now here we are. “But I guess judging from your absence when I woke up this morning, that seems to be part of your character.”
“I didn’t lie to you.”
“Then what do you call that night five years ago and oh yeah, last night?”
“Nicole, it would be fucking best that you know right fucking now that I don’t lie. I don’t twist and bend the fucking truth to suit my needs, I’d rather bend you over and fuck you until you scream my name.”
“You wouldn’t,” I gasp but I can’t deny the way my pussy just clenched.
“I would, I’m going to and you know it.”
He’s right. He’s so freaking right! Oh God.
“But… he’s your son!” I croak, not knowing how I feel about all this. “This is so wrong.”
“Is that how you feel?”
“I feel horrible about it.”
“You would feel horrible,” he says darkly. “If you’re still in love with him.”
There it is again, but this time I don’t have an answer for him. I don’t know what to say. Am I still in love with Knox? I mean yes, he broke my heart by stabbing me in the back but am I still in love with him? Is that why this Christmas is harder for me than the first one I spent without my parents?
“We dated since high school,” I whisper, looking at anything but him. “He was my first love.”
“And do you think he deserved you?” James demands, the notes of anger ringing clear in each word as he watches me so intently, I think a part of me melts and hardens all in one go. “Do you think he’d have known how to handle a spitfire like you? Or at the very least cherish you the way you deserve to be treated? Because from where I stand and what you told me last night, he didn’t give a shit about you.”
I swallow, feeling emotional all of a sudden.
“But… when I woke up, you were gone. Twice.”
“Baby,” he murmurs in my hair, then James takes a step back, but instead of letting me go, he grabs my hand and leads me to the large four poster bed where he sits and pulls me down to his lap until I’m straddling him.
God, why am I letting him do this to me? I’m aware that this is wrong and someone might catch us but right now, as I stare into his dark eyes, I just don’t care about anything but the pain in my heart.
“You wanted me to stay, baby?” he questions softly.
“Does it matter?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t think so?”
“Why?” he demands. “Why do you think your feelings and thoughts don’t matter?”
I look away but quick as lightning, he hands his fingers at my chin, forcing me to look back at him.
“James, I don’t think…”
“You have no idea what this mouth does to me when you say my name like that,” he purrs and the thing in my chest goes crazy. He smirks but grows serious in a heartbeat as if he really wants to know what’s going on and isn’t going to let this go. “And now that I just told you how I feel, you gave me a response.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“On the contrary,” he whispers, the rough timber of his voice washing over me in a...well, in a forbidden way. “Your eyes are dilated, your breath has quickened and I can almost smell your arousal and it’s all because I shared my honest feelings with you about how you drive me crazy.. Why don’t you think your feelings don’t matter?”
“You don’t know me enough to say that.”
“I know your body,” he says as his hand makes its way to the waistband of my pants and then they slowly make their way down to the spot between my legs that’s throbbing for him. “So fucking soaked,” he hisses, his finger strumming magic between my legs. “Your body never lies.”
“James,” I gasp.
“Why do you think your feelings don’t matter?”
“Feelings…” I trail off when I feel James’ fingers circle and flick my clit.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that,” he taunts, sinking two fingers into me.
“Feelings are not important,” I gasp, wanting to gyrate my hips in time with his fingers.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes! They don’t really matter. No one gives a damn about someone’s else’s feelings.” And I have the evidence to prove it. Exhibit A being my own sister married to my ex. If they cared at all about what I think and my feelings, they’d never have hurt me the way they did. “I don’t love him,” I breathe, staring into Jame’s heated and stern gaze. “I’m over him.”
“But you’re still hurt.”
I want to deny it. I want to shake it off and be brave but I just don’t feel like it.
“Yes.”
As soon as I admit that, his fingers slip out of me and then he gets up and places me down on the bed. But before I can think he’s about to fuck me again--or get excited about it-- he plants a chaste kiss on my forehead and then steps back.
“Now, was that so hard?” he asks, then takes a step back, then another as if to leave. “Well, welcome to my home.”
My jaw drops to my lap. “What? That’s it?”
Scandalized, aroused and feeling out of sorts, I watch as he brings the same fingers that were in my pussy just now, to his lips, then he sucks. Hard.
“Hmmm,” he hums. “Was there something else?”
Urgh! “You know what you did!” I accuse. Is this man really going to leave me all strung up like this? After he made me bleed all that emotional shit in front of him? What the fuck? “Come back here.”
“Delayed gratification.”
“You didn’t say a word about that last night.”
“Still thinking about that, huh?” he smirks, his fucking handsome face infuriating me to the hell and back.
“I’m not thinking about my ex’s daddy.”
“Daddy?” he scoffs, raising an eyebrow at me. “My son would rather choke on ashes than call me that but you…you don’t strike me as the type to have daddy issues. Sure you’re strangely insecure, have some confidence issues as if you don’t know your own power or how fucking sexy you are, I’m currently fighting my own instincts to strip you d
own and fuck you right there in front of the window.” A breath escapes my lips at those words, because fuck, I can see the picture he’s painting. Me, at his mercy, naked, straining against his hard, muscular body. Fuck.
“I’m not my sister.”
“No you most certainly are not,” he agrees. “You’re your own person. So fucking beautiful, I can’t take my eyes off you but more than that, you care.”
I’m pretty sure if he keeps talking, I’ll give myself an emotional whiplash and then start crying. It’s been a long twenty-four hours.
“Carrying is what got me in this mess in the first place.”
“No, you slipped into my bed in the middle of the night and begged me to show you a whole different world, Nicole,” he says roughly. “How could we not fucking find our way back together.”
I stare at him, my heart racing so hard and so fast in my chest.
“This is wrong.”
“And you, baby, you get excited by the wrongness of it all,” he says darkly. “This is going to be a Christmas to remember.”
And with that, he opens the door but before he leaves, he turns back to look at me. “And just so we’re clear, I expect to hear every thought you have, you’re going to tell me everything you feel when I’m fucking you with my tongue, my fingers and my cock.”
Stunned and breathless, I hold his gaze. It’s as if he’s snaking his way into my soul and branding me in a way that will devastate me when I have to leave this place. When I have to leave him.
“I don’t think I can…” I start but trail off. He gets it though. He always does.
“Well, whatever or whoever made you feel insignificant, you’re going to stop giving them that power or you and I are going to have problems.”
My God. Who talks like that and why am I wet?
“But you still lied to me.”
“I’ll admit, when you snuck into my bed all those years ago and begged me to take you, I was going to tell you to leave, but then it’s you and as evidenced by last night, I can’t resist you.”
And me, like a fool, I can’t resist him either.
“But you’re Knox’s dad.”
“I know,” he bites out, looking agitated for the first time.
“He’s my ex.”
“And now, he’s your brother in law.”
“Yeah, there’s that,” I mutter.
James grabs my chin in a gentle grasp, forcing me to look up at him.
“Nicole, I never said this wasn’t fucked up but then again you said you don’t love him anymore.”
Yes, I don’t. Right?
James watches me intently, waiting for my answer but suddenly I’m tongue-tied, not knowing what to say.
“James…” I start but he cuts me off.
“To be fucking clear, you’re spending the next few days in my home, sleeping under my roof, in a room right next to mine, if you think there isn’t a time I won’t push your limits, make you fucking come for me or take my pleasure from your mouth, your body and your soul, then you’ll need to reevaluate your knowledge of me, because this, you and me, regardless of anyone else, is happening.”
With one last sizzling hot kiss, he gets up, deposits me back on the bed and strides out of the room, leaving me panting, seriously turned on, and incredibly aware of how fucked up and twisted this entire situation is.
Chapter 5
I’m pretty sure that the sound of cutlery hitting our dinner plates is as close to stimulating conversation as we are ever going to get tonight. Usually, my sister isn’t averse to filling dead airspace with idle chit-chat. There have been many times I witnessed Valerie talking about herself nonstop during other dinner parties. Be it about her latest social media post or what one of her many followers commented on said post, Val could always string the conversation along even if the subject matter was centered around her.
Tonight, however, my sister is being unusually guarded and silent, maintaining her lips sealed shut, except for the times she opens them up to take another gulp of her wine.
Not that I’m one talk. I’m on my third glass myself, my dinner barely touched.
I knew this was a bad idea coming here.
Maybe if we had stayed back in town, I could have made myself scarce by taking in some sightseeing. Unfortunately for me, I knew all my chances of being an invisible guest went out the window the minute we stepped foot inside this cabin. Situated miles away from civilization, there is nowhere to escape the heavy tension under this roof.
The only silver lining in all of this is that I’m positive that neither Valerie nor Knox are aware of what went down between James and me. Still, it doesn’t bode well for my sanity that I have to pretend that the man sitting beside me didn’t feast on my pussy with more gusto than he is showing the poached salmon on his plate.
God, I suck.
This was supposed to be a chance for Valerie to get to know her father-in-law, and here I am stealing her spotlight away, even if unintentionally. Just add it to the pile of reasons why I shouldn’t have come here.
Maybe I can come up with an excuse to leave. Make something up that would be acceptable for me to pack up my shit and just go. As I take another sip of my wine, I begin to conjure up any excuse in the book that might make sense when James decides to destroy that plan by opening up his beautiful sinful mouth.
“There is going to be a snowstorm coming our way later tonight,” he says out of the blue as a way to start a conversation, completely unaware that he just popped my balloon of hope of escape.
“A storm? Really? Are we safe up here?” Valerie asks, her gaze bouncing off James and Knox.
“Very safe,” Knox coos, placing his hand on Val’s hand and giving it a comforting squeeze. “We get snowstorms all the time up here in the mountains. This cabin is strong enough to withstand any blizzard, and we have enough food and supplies that could last us the whole winter if needed.”
“The whole winter?” I croak, not liking the sound of that. “Is that even a possibility that we can stay up here the whole winter?”
“Don’t worry, Nicki. The worst that can happen is us being trapped here for a few weeks, just long enough to clear the roads. If we were higher up in the mountain, then maybe we would have motives to worry. But not where we are,” Knox is quick to explain, his soft, soothing smile bringing back memories of happier times when he would soothe my unwarranted worries.
I pick up my glass of wine, giving him a thin smile when he refuses to turn his gaze away from mine.
“Well, even if we do get stuck up here, I’m sure we can find plenty of ways to entertain ourselves, isn’t that right, baby?” my sister interjects, pulling Knox’s chin towards her and placing a dirty kiss on his lips to drive the point home.
I’m not sure why I’m the one blushing with such demonstrations of affection or that my sister felt the need to claim Knox in such a way in front of me. I mean, he’s her husband, after all, and it’s not like I’m going to get in the middle of their marriage.
Not like she got in the middle of our relationship.
I shrug that bitter, resentful thought out of the way, knowing that if I cling to it that there is no way I will ever be able to have a healthy relationship with my sister. She’s the only family I have left and the reason why I came here in the first place. I bow my head and fiddle with the napkin on my lap while Val and Knox begin to talk animatedly with each other. I guess I should be thankful that at least the awkward silence is over and done with. But as they continue to coo and cajole, I’m left more embarrassed than I am relieved.
And if I’m truly honest with myself, a little humiliated that they are both flaunting their affectionate relationship in my face.
It’s silly really that I should feel this way. They have been married a little over six months, still in their honeymoon stage. I should have expected this type of scenario, and it was foolish of me not to be prepared to face it.
It’s the light squeeze on my knee that grabs my attention away fr
om the lovebirds.
“There are plenty of things you can do in the cabin. Once the snowstorm settles, you can take a walk and take in the scenery. The silence and peace that nature offers are things that I enjoy most when I come up here. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it, too.”
“I’m not much for walking,” Val interjects with a laugh. “I did enough of that back in New York. Besides, I don’t think my followers would enjoy me taking a power walk over the snow.”
James’s hand travels up my leg as he moves his focus away from me and onto the couple in front of us. I try to keep my erratic breathing in check as his knuckles graze the inside of my thigh.
“It’s not only good exercise, but it’s also good for the soul. It reminds you of the purest things in life and what is truly important.”
“Are you saying my wife’s job isn’t important?” Knox is quick to defend.
“I’m not familiar with it, so I can’t give a formative opinion. But I do believe the benefits of being in tune with nature far outweigh any approval a stranger can offer with a like,” James counters with an arched brow.
“Here we go.” Knox starts to laugh bitterly. “Always the condescending know-it-all asshole.”
“Knox!” I blurt out in outrage that he would say that to his father.
“Don’t Knox me, Nicki. I know what I’m saying. My father always acts like his shit doesn’t stink while making sure that everyone else around him feels like trash.”
“That hasn’t been my experience,” I retort arcticly.
“You don’t know my father.”
“And whose fault is that?” James rebukes with a stern tone.
Knox doesn’t even have the decency to look contrite.
“How about we change the topic altogether. This is a lovely meal, Mr. Cross. Restaurant worthy,” Valerie chimes in, trying to calm the mood in the room.
“Thank you,” James replies unfeelingly.
“Did you take any culinary classes to be so efficient in the kitchen? Not many men can cook so well.”
“Self-taught, I’m afraid. But I did teach Knox everything I knew, so I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to make you similar meals.”