by Frankie Love
She’s smiling, rolling down the windows, letting the winds blow through her hair, the breeze feeling like the closest thing to a fresh start I could ever hope for.
“You’re a good man, Bear.”
Virginia told me the same thing a few days ago. I’m about to tell her about my sister when she pulls into a parking lot to a DSHS office.
“Shelby is meeting us here. Her office is out in Boise, thankfully I don’t have to drive so far with the babies.”
Once inside the building, the social worker, Shelby, comes out to meet Grace.
“Hello, and this is?” she asks, looking at me.
“I’m Bear, Grace’s neighbor.”
Shelby nods, her eyes lighting up. “Right. You are the one who found the babies. A local hero!”
“I don’t know about that,” I say, shaking my head.
“You are,” Shelby says. “Heard the local paper even reported it.”
“Wait, what?” I ask.
“Yeah,” Shelby says. “In the Eagle Crest Tribune.”
Immediately, every muscle in my body tenses. I don’t want my name in any paper.
I’m carrying Abel’s car seat, so Shelby motions for us to follow her to an office. “I’m working here part time now, Grace. Did I tell you that?”
“No,” she says, shaking her head. She sets down Laura’s car seat and takes her out of it, helping her find the pacifier. “But I’m glad for it. I think. Could use the support.”
“Well, it looks like you have plenty of support here, right now.” Shelby smiles at me. “However, there are a few things I’d like to discuss with Grace privately.”
“Understood.” I squeeze Gracie’s hand and let them know I’ll just be taking a walk around the area.
I leave the office feeling uncomfortable. I’ve got to see a newspaper, stat. Over at the gas station, I grab a copy of the Eagle Crest tribune and pay the attendant. Then I walk back to the office and sit in the lobby, spreading open the paper and scanning the police blotter. Nothing there. But then a few pages over there is an opinion piece in what looks like a small-town gossip column.
Shit, I didn’t even know they had things like this anymore. Hardly any facts, but the columnist calls herself Miss Adeline and she seems to have thoughts on everything going on around the mountain and on it.
“Police say the local hero found two abandoned infants off highway eight. With the help of an unnamed local resident, the babies are now in a safe home until the parents are found. God bless you, whoever you are! Eagle Crest is lucky to have another mountain man keeping our country safe!”
The article doesn’t name names, and I breathe a massive sigh of relief. I close the paper, then toss it in the trash. Good. No one will find me because of what I’ve done, I can relax in knowing that, at least.
I sit with my elbows on my knees until Grace comes out to the lobby. With a smile, she asks if I can help her carry one of the car seats to the car.
Once we are all buckled up in her SUV and pulling out of the parking lot, I ask how it went.
“In a lot of ways, it went better than I expected. But...”
“Yeah?”
She bites the side of her lip. “They found the parents.”
“Oh wow, really?” I reach for her hand. Tears gather in her eyes. “Hey, you wanna pull over for a sec?”
“I just want to get home.”
I squeeze her hand. “Wanna talk about it?”
“It’s all so sad, Bear.” She wipes her tears away, keeping her eyes on the road. “They were found dead, in a hotel room. They had overdosed.”
The tears are streaming down her cheeks no matter how much she wipes them away.
“Hey, Gracie, let’s stop for a second,” I try again.
“No,” she says tightly. “I just need to get the babies home and wrap them up in my arms. I just want to hold them and take care of them and...”
“And what?”
“I never want to let them go, Bear.”
“Oh, girl,” I sigh, swallowing back my own emotions but doing a poor ass job of it. “I know you don’t.”
We drive in silence, the weight of what has happened to Abel and Laura’s parents is so heavy, and no words seem like enough. I remember them fighting, down on the highway, how damn sad it was when they left their babies.
And now. Now they are gone.
Forever.
The babies in the back seat are orphans, yet the love Grace and I feel toward them overwhelms the car.
When we get to the house, we bring the babies inside and with them all swaddled up, I help Grace potion them both her arms. She may not be their mama, but she is pouring a mother’s love all over them right now.
“What happens next?” I ask.
“Shelby got in touch with the grandparents, but no one wants to step forward for the babies.” She leans down, kissing Abel’s forehead. “I never want them to know they weren’t wanted, Bear. I want them, for their entire life, to believe they were chosen.”
“I know, baby,” I say, kneeling down on the floor, looking up at this woman who has a heart that stretches deep and wide.
“I’m exhausted,” she says. “My heart is just about to break.”
I nod. “Want put the babies in their crib?”
She shakes her head. “No. I just want to sit here and hold them in the quiet,” she says.
Nodding, I kiss her on the forehead and begin to clean her cottage. Laundry is piling up, and the sink is full. Her plants need to be watered and the garden needs to be weeded. I set to work, and Grace rocks her babies, singing them the lullaby she loves best.
“You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.”
15
Grace
Over the last few days, Bear has come down every day to help me out. Shelby asked him to come to town and fill out a background check and get fingerprinted. Thankfully, even if he was connected with some shady things in the past, it was all done on the down low, and his record is clean. His heart is what harbors all the painful choices he has made.
Stella stops by with Wilder to check on me one morning when I’m alone at the house with Laura and Abel. Wilder is a godsend and is helping repair my side fence, and while he’s out of the house, I tell Stella the situation with the babies and their birth parents.
“Oh my God, Gracie. It’s so sad. But does that mean you...”
I shake my head. “I hate thinking about adoption right now. Not because I don’t want to -- I do. And Shelby says she will help me with the paperwork as soon as I want to, but I’m still grieving for the babies. It’s so much loss, you know?”
Stella refills our coffee cups, holding Abel in one arm. She does it all so easily. She’s such an experienced pro with infants. “I can only imagine. I know when Wilder adopted Briar and Finn after his brother and his wife died, it was a lot to process. This though... it’s different. Their parents died because they were struggling so much.”
“It reminds me how precious life is,” I say, thinking about how different my life could have ended up had I not met Cherish. How Laura and Abel would have a different story if Bear hadn’t been out on that hike the day he found them. “There are no guarantees, you know?”
“I know. That’s why we have to hold on tightly to love when we find it.” Stella hands me my coffee, sitting beside me on the couch. “Speaking of... what is going on with you and your mountain man?”
I laugh, knowing this was going to come up.
“I mean, you’re considering bringing two children into your life forever. Where does Bear fit in?”
Sighing, I tell my dear friend the truth. “Last night I thought he was going to tell me he loved me, but then the babies were crying and needed to be fed and changed. It became a whole thing.” I wave my hand in the air, and Stella nods, understanding exactly how demanding newborns are. “I know he loves these babies like I do. I think since he was the one who found them it feels like fate. But...
” I hadn’t planned on crying in front of Stella, but suddenly, the emotion spills out from me.
Stella rests a hand on my arm. “Oh, sweetie, what is it?”
“I just feel like a monster,” I admit, shame coursing through me.
“How in God’s name do you feel like a monster?”
“How can it feel like fate to have these perfect babies when they have lost so much in order to be here with me?”
Stella nods, listening, and then she hands me a tissue to wipe my eyes. “I don’t know how it all works, Gracie. How to reconcile the pain with the beauty. I just know that this, right here, these two babies with you, is something beautiful and whole. And maybe Bear will be a part of that picture, forever. And if so, then there is an element of fate to all of this. That in this big, complicated world, a family can find one another in the most unlikely of circumstances.”
My shoulders shake. “I needed to hear that, Stella. More than I even knew.”
“Maybe I did too,” she says softly. “I carry so much guilt that I have the privilege of raising Briar and Finn, it breaks my heart for them that they lost so much at such a young age. But that loss doesn’t take away from the joy. It just makes the joy that much more meaningful. Not everyone understands this kind of loss. The loss an adoptive mother feels. Because our children’s story is borne out of sorrow. But Gracie, that doesn’t change the fact that their story is full of love, too.”
I hug Stella, feeling so close to her right now, and feeling so much gratitude for her friendship. Here we are, two unlikely friends-- she comes from a put together family in Seattle, and I have nothing but this mountain, yet here we are, connected through the love we have for the people in our lives.
A knock on the door startles us. I laugh, standing. “Maybe it’s Bear?”
But when I pull open the front door, a woman I’ve never seen before is standing in front of me. Mascara runs down her face as she asks if I’m Grace.
“Yes, who are you? Are you okay?”
“I’m Virginia. I’m fine. It’s Bear. Up in our cabin. He’s in trouble.”
“Your cabin?” Shake my head, confused, pulling Laura tighter to my chest.
“Yeah,” she says, nodding her head. “We live up there, together.”
“Togeth--” I’m feeling so lost.
She cuts me off, crying harder. “We need help. He’s in trouble.”
“Bear?” I cover my mouth. Just then, Wilder comes up to the doorway. He looks around, getting an understanding of things.
“Yeah,” Virginia says. “The Badlands showed up. They came for me, but Bear told me to run down here before they saw me.”
Stella moves into action. “Wilder, you have to go see what’s going on. I’ll call 911.”
“No, the cops can’t come,” Virginia begs.
I look at the woman who seems so lost. How could Bear be living with a woman in his cabin this whole time and not tell me? What else is he hiding?
“Take me to him,” Wilder says. “Stella, you keep Grace here, okay?”
But I shake my head. “No, I have to go, I have to--”
Wilder looks at me. “Grace, your children need you now.”
He’s right. Of course, I want to go see Bear, but I need to protect my children.
Wilder and Virginia run out of the cabin, heading across the creek. Bear is living with another woman. A woman who is beautiful, a woman he wants to protect. A woman he hid from me.
I don’t know what is happening. And my thoughts from earlier today flood my mind.
In life, there are no guarantees.
16
Bear
The moment I see them pulling up on their motorcycles in my driveway, I know Virginia needs to get out of here. She’s hysterical, acting like she is shocked, but deep in my gut, I can’t help but wonder if it’s because of her Ricky has shown up.
She ran out the back of the house before Ricky pushed open my door.
“Where is she, you motherfucker?” he screams at me. “You better tell me.”
He looks the same as always. A tight t-shirt that reveals arms of tattoos, a silver capped smile meant to intimidate, a bandana on his head hiding the fact that he’s got a receding hairline.
He wants everyone to think he’s as big a badass as he was a decade ago. For so long, I thought him the hero. A vigilante looking for justice, taking runaway teens under his wing and making sure we had a place to live.
Now I know better.
Ricky is nothing but a criminal, roping desperate teens into his ring. I hate that I feel for his games, but no more.
Yes, he may try to take me down, now, but I won’t let him touch my sister again.
“She’s not here,” I tell him, stepping closer, clenching my fists. I’m prepared to fight.
“You’re a liar,” he says, looking around the cabin. There is evidence of Virginia everywhere. “She called her little friend Laila a few too many times. Don’t you think I track the calls of my whores?”
“Don’t talk about Laila like that,” I say.
“You think you’re gonna start telling me what to do?” Ricky laughs and behind him, three of his bodyguards get off their bikes. I want them all gone, now.
“I’d say so,” I say, taking one step closer. No way in hell am I backing down now. From the corner of my eye, I see Grace’s friend’s husband, Wilder, stepping up to the property. He’s behind Ricky’s crew but he isn’t hesitating at coming closer. Virginia must have gotten to him and brought him here.
“Virginia shot me in the chest, Grizzly. You think I’ll let her get away with that?”
“You don’t have a choice. We’re done with the Badlands. We left, and we aren’t coming back.”
“You think so?” Ricky pulls out a handgun and raises it. “I think I’m the one in charge of who stays and who goes.”
“Not on this mountain you’re not,” Wilder says.
The Badlands men turn, surprised someone is behind them. I use their shock to my advantage.
I dive for the gun, grabbing it and pushing Ricky to the ground. I may have made foolish choices in the past, but there is no way in hell I’m letting Ricky and his guys take what I have finally found.
Love.
Ricky reaches around my neck, trying to choke me, but I won’t let him. I’m called Bear for a reason. I’m not merely a man, I’m a goddamn force to be reckoned with.
I punch him. One, twice, in the face, and his bloody jaw begs for mercy. I push him to the ground, then take up with the other men Wilder is trying to fend off. I reach behind them, my hands on their wrists, and pin them to the floor. Wilder tosses me a length of rope and I bind their hands, all three of them, and drag them outside.
That’s when I see Virginia in the distance, hiding by the side of the cabin. She looks awful, shaking and scared. And I have some things to say to her, but not yet.
Now, I tie the men to the trees with the help of Wilder. Not letting one of them knock me down. Ricky isn’t having it, and he manages to kick me hard in the gut, practically bowled me over, but then I think about Grace, how much I need her and how she needs me. I can’t fall over now, not because of these men who have already robbed me of so much.
“You got him?” Wilder asks as I drag Ricky to a massive cedar tree, wrapping the rope around the trunk and tying him to it.
“About goddamn time I took care of him.”
“Sometimes it takes a while to become the men we were meant to be.”
Police troopers begin to drive up onto the property and I know it looks bad, tying these fuckers up like this, and my first thought is I’m going to be implicated somehow.
But Wilder juts out his chin as Officers Holmes and Martin pull up in their vehicles.
“I had Stella call in some backup,” he tells me. “But I’m not sure you needed any. You took care of these bastards pretty well on your own.”
I shake my head. “I couldn’t have gotten the gun if you hadn’t shown up.”
&nbs
p; “Well, good thing you got family here looking out for you,” he says, clapping his hand on my shoulder.
“Family?” I ask as we step toward the officer’s cars.
“Hell, yeah. You live on this mountain, make it your home, well , then you become part of a family that no one can separate. But I have a feeling Grace might have a few questions about her.”
I look over at Virginia, who is covering her face with her hands. Wilder nods. “I think Grace believes you and Virginia are... together.”
My eyes widen, and I shake my head, but Wilder just nods. “I know, she explained as we were running up here. That she’s your sister and all, but Grace thinks...”
“Shit,” I say, understanding him precisely. “I’ll fix it.”
Wilder grins, as Ricky and his fucking backup crew struggle to free themselves. But I know those men aren’t going anywhere. “I know you will, brother.”
A few hours later Officers Holmes and Martin are gone, having called in for more officers as they handcuffed Ricky and the other guys from the Badlands MC. I had thanked Wilder for all he did, and he left a while back. Now it’s just Virginia and me at the cabin, but I’m itching to get down to Grace, to set this story straight.
But first, Virginia and I need to have a heart-to-heart.
We’re on the front porch, and I turn to her asking the question that’s burning a hole in my chest. “Why did you keep calling Laila?”
She sighs, looking over at me with tear-stained cheeks. “You know how you were close to Ricky? How he was family?”
“Yeah, but now that I’m gone, I see he was fucking with my head, making me think I needed him but I didn’t.”
“Well, that’s the thing, Bear. You don’t need Ricky. But I do need Laila. She wasn’t hurting me, she was a victim the same as I was.”