* * *
They awoke to find the rain had ceased and the cave was filled with sunlight.
Katherine had taken Charles outside and Nathan was turning away to make the horses ready, but Lucy stopped him, laying a gentle hand on his arm.
‘Nathan,’ she murmured, gazing at him with eyes shining with tenderness. ‘What happened last night... Does that mean you have changed your mind about us?’
His face became frozen, expressionless, as if he had disappeared from her once more. She was on edge with her cravings for things to go back to normal between them, but that was beginning to seem downright unlikely.
Bitter disappointment engulfed her, drowning out all the wonderful feelings of rediscovering something that had once been so sublime. He looked at her as though nothing important had happened between them.
Nathan turned his head away to escape the soft bewitchment of those lovely imploring eyes. Then gently he detached himself from her. ‘I don’t know how it happened, Lucy, how I allowed it to happen, how I let my desire for you carry me away.’ He sighed, shrugging slightly. ‘Perhaps it was old memories...’
She backed away, deeply hurt and disappointed by his casual remark. Old memories! Was that all he felt for her, all that was left? ‘Yes—I understand,’ she said, unable to conceal the bitterness she felt. ‘Old memories. But sometimes old memories are hard to let go of.’
‘It was also relief I felt. I was relieved you hadn’t been washed away by the current. You could so easily have drowned.’
‘But I didn’t. I don’t understand. Why did you do that if not to take up the thread of our old love again?’
His face hardened. ‘Leave it, Lucy. That’s enough for now.’
She turned away so he would not see the hurt in her eyes. What a fool she had been. She had thought she had drawn close to him, that they were as close as a man and woman could be, and yet it would seem that was not so. He had drawn away from her. Nathan was as elusive—perhaps more so—than he had ever been.
What had happened to her? Why had chance, destiny, whatever it was called, turned, so quickly, her supreme resolution not to succumb to this man again, to a painful love that was blurring her mind when she should be thinking not about herself or even Nathan, but about Katherine.
Leaving the cave to join Katherine, she glanced at Nathan. Her green eyes enormous in the paleness of her face, she saw only the small clouds of dust kicked up by his feet as he walked away. As the sun mounted the farthest ridge of hills, silvering the sky for a dazzling day, she felt scalding tears spring under her eyelids so that everything grew indistinct and misty.
Nathan was the last to mount. He wheeled his horse about in time to catch Lucy’s eye. There was a sudden duel of glances as his eyes invaded hers, drawing her to him, and she felt again the sudden heat of suppressed passion. They were yards apart, yet in some strange way they seemed joined together. Then his face darkened abruptly and he looked away.
* * *
They continued south, towards the Tagus. The rain had passed over and, despite the sun which flared in the bright sky, the entire region through which they rode, arid and wild, had an air of savage melancholy, enhanced by the distant tolling of a solitary church bell.
Lucy’s mind dwelt on the previous night and Nathan’s reaction to her earlier and her heart ached. No matter how much he tried to show otherwise, she knew he was deeply affected by what had happened between them. She guessed at the distress hidden beneath that inflexible manner of his. Even after they had made love, she was no closer to opening that locked heart. He was keeping tight rein on his emotions, trying to find every reason to hate her from fear of loving her.
They were each sunk in their own private thoughts. Lucy, however, was struggling against an imperious desire to fill the silence which had fallen between them. Her love raged all the fiercer at feeling him to be so near and so distant all at once.
* * *
They were on the outskirts of a small village where they were to rest for the night. A large group of men on horseback were gathered round the gnarled roots of a tall tree. Lucy had the odd impression that they weren’t in the least surprised to see them, that they had, in fact, been waiting for them to appear. One man detached himself from the rest and rode towards them. Taut with apprehension, Lucy watched him ride close. She saw he was not a young man, perhaps forty or more. His hair beneath the hat he wore was long and streaked with grey. His expression was sharp, his eyes intelligent. She glanced at Nathan. He didn’t appear to be worried.
‘Do you know him?’ she asked, keeping her voice low.
Nathan nodded. ‘His name is Arturo Garcia—the same man you saw me with at the convent.’
Garcia halted in front of them, his gaze resting on Katherine and the child Lucy held in front of her.
‘Señor Rochefort! You succeeded,’ he said in English.
‘We wouldn’t be here now if I hadn’t.’
The man nodded. ‘I congratulate you. No one rides into Gameau’s camp and comes out alive. But that will end. We are ready. We go in in two days. But first I will listen to what you have to tell me. What are your ideas? Can the hostages be rescued?’
‘They can be, as long as you know where they are.’
‘Did you see all of Gameau’s men?’
‘Most of them. Some will have been on lookout in various places.’
‘What is your opinion? Can we take them?’
‘I won’t pretend it will be easy. They will be expecting something of the sort. There will be sentries. My advice would be for you to go in at night. Surprise them before they have time to take their vengeance on the hostages—all women, a dozen in total.’
‘With any luck the rebels will be flat on their backs with the drink. You are to stay here tonight?’ Nathan nodded. ‘Then we will talk at the inn and you can draw me a map of the fortress and the position of their weaponry.’
When they crossed the threshold of the inn, they were relieved to find they would have it to themselves. Leaving Nathan to talk to Garcia, Lucy went to the room she was to share with Katherine and Charles.
Nathan told Garcia everything he had seen at the castle and Katherine’s account concerning the hostages. When he had finished, Garcia left carrying a sheet of paper covered with notes. Night had fallen upon the village. Nathan watched him mount his horse and join the men waiting for him, fully aware of the risks involved in storming the castle and freeing the hostages unharmed.
Lucy came to stand beside him, watching Garcia’s departing figure. ‘Do you think they will succeed?’
‘It won’t be easy. There will be losses,’ Nathan said, his face grim. ‘The rebels who are not killed will be taken prisoner. The British deserters will be returned and dealt with by the army.’
‘Would you not like to be involved, Nathan?’
He spoke sharply. ‘No. It must be left to the army and the partisans. We came here to save Katherine and her child, and their safety comes first. Our part is done. We cannot afford to take risks with their lives.’
They continued to stand, watching Garcia ride away. The night air was chilly.
‘It’s a full moon,’ Lucy said after several minutes, looking up at the huge yellow orb. When he didn’t reply, she cast about for something else to say and inadvertently voiced her own thoughts. ‘I can’t quite believe we have Katherine and her son safe, and that in a few days we’ll be in Lisbon.’
‘I am thankful about that. Come, let’s walk a while.’
They walked slowly along the street, taking a turn that took them away from the dwellings. The lights from the windows faded and then vanished completely. Suddenly there was nothing in front of them but the darkness of a valley far below and a blanket of stars overhead. Nathan stopped and shoved his hands into his pockets, staring out across the valley. Uncertain of
his mood, Lucy wandered a few paces to the end of the path and stopped because there was nowhere else to go. Glancing to her left, she stole a look at his profile. In the moonlight it was harsh and he lifted his hand and rubbed the muscles at the back of his neck.
‘I think we should be getting back,’ she said when a minute had passed and his silence became unsettling.
In answer Nathan tipped his head back and closed his eyes, looking like a man struggling with some internal battle. ‘Why?’
‘Because Katherine will be wondering where we’ve got to—and there’s nowhere else to walk.’
He sighed, opening his eyes, and his relentless gaze locked with hers. ‘You’re right, there isn’t. I just wanted to be alone with you for a while.’
Lucy stared at him, her entire body beginning to vibrate with a mixture of shock, desire and fear. Thankfully her mind remained in control. She had found herself in this situation several times since leaving Lisbon and she was not prepared to let him play with her heart again. Here they were, completely alone. The situation was dangerous. Frightening. And based on her behaviour when he’d pulled her from the stream, she couldn’t even blame him for thinking she’d be willing now. Struggling desperately to ignore the sensual pull he was exerting on her, she drew a long, shaky breath.
‘Why? Why do you want to be alone with me? Do you want to drag me behind a hedge and repeat what you did to me the last time we were alone together?’
‘I didn’t have scruples enough to ignore that ignoble impulse. Nor do I regret what we did.’
A treacherous warmth was slowly beginning to seep into Lucy’s body and she fought the weakness with all her might. ‘It was wrong. Dangerous and foolish.’
‘Foolish or not,’ he said grimly, ‘I wanted you. I want you now.’
Lucy made the mistake of looking at him and his eyes captured hers against her will, holding them imprisoned.
‘Neither of us has anything to gain by continuing this pretence that what happened in the past is over and forgotten,’ he said bluntly. ‘There was too much between us for it to end like that. The night of the storm proved that it’s still very much alive, if it proved nothing else, and it’s never been forgotten. I’ve remembered you and everything we had, and I know you’ve remembered me.’
Lucy wanted to deny it, but she knew that if she did he’d be disgusted with her deceit and she was too affected by what he’d just admitted to lie to him. ‘You’re right,’ she said shakily. ‘I’ve never forgotten you. How could I?’ she added defensively.
He smiled at her sharp retort and moved towards her.
‘What are you doing?’ she whispered when he reached out and took her hand. She stared at him in paralysed terror mixed with excitement.
‘I’m going to take you in my arms and kiss you. I’ll not force you. I’ll not force you to do anything against your will. When we embarked on this journey to rescue Katherine and her son, neither of us knew what was going to happen.’
‘And now we do?’
Raising his hand, he slowly tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear. ‘I believe we do.’ Placing his finger gently beneath her chin, he turned her face up to his and, lowering his head, traced his lips across her cheek to her ear.
Some small insidious voice in Lucy’s mind reminded her of his cold rejection of her when she had given herself to him totally after he had pulled her out of the water. But after the misery she had suffered afterwards, was she not entitled to another of his kisses if she wanted it? Another voice warned her not to break the rules again. But his face was touching hers and his breath was warm in her ear. Some inner strength surfaced and she made a move to pull away, but she froze when he murmured, ‘You want me, Lucy. Don’t deny it.’
As he placed his finger gently beneath her chin, Lucy raised her eyes to his, the answer written in their depths. It was this that finally crumbled Nathan’s resistance that had possessed him since he had weakened and they had made love. Since then, with past experiences still at the forefront of his mind, some protective instinct warned him that he must never again let himself trust her, never again touch her, but just this once...just one more time, to yield to that insistent mouth that was quivering and soft so close to his own.
His smouldering gaze dropped to her lips and Lucy felt her body ignite at the same instant his mouth swooped down, capturing hers in a kiss of demanding hunger. Her lips softened imperceptibly and Nathan claimed his victory with the swiftness of the hunter, except gentleness was his weapon now.
Lucy could feel his hunger, his desperation. His arms held her tighter as she fitted herself to him and he deepened his kiss, crushing her lips, parting them, his tongue driving into her mouth with hungry urgency, and their passion ignited. Heedless of what he was doing, when he felt her arms tentatively reach up to rest on his shoulders, his hands tracing her curves without volition, Nathan urged her to give him back what he was offering her.
His lips were just as warm and exciting as ever, and just as devastating. She opened her mouth fully to him, wanting his kiss, his possession. She was hardly aware that his hand was gliding upwards until she felt his fingers curl around her breast, cupping the swelling fullness and brushing a nipple with one finger.
Her reaction was immediate—she gasped softly. Nathan heard her faint inhalation with satisfaction. Purposefully, he splayed his fingers, covering her breast and moulding it against his palm.
The resultant wave of heat shocked her—it raced through her body to settle as a throbbing ache somewhere between her thighs, in the very core of her womanhood.
Nathan continued kissing her with the same uncontrollable compulsion to have her that had seized him in the past and again when he had rescued her from the stream, and he kissed her until she was moaning and writhing in his arms and desire was pouring through him in hot waves. Tearing his mouth from hers, he slid his lips across her cheek, his tongue seeking her ear while his hand continued to intimately caress her breast.
An eternity later he lifted his head, his blood pounding in his ears, his heart thundering. Lucy stayed in his arms, her cheek resting against his chest, her soft and pliant body pressed to his, seeking the haven of his arms and solace from the turmoil of her emotions. Wind rippled through the long grass, whispering in the trees. Nathan’s hand stroked soothingly up and down her spine, his cheek resting against her hair.
Drawing a shattered breath, wanting to understand why this was happening to her, she whispered, ‘Why do I always feel this way when you take me in your arms?’
Nathan heard the plea for understanding in her voice and understood what she was asking. It was the same question he had been asking himself. Why did this explosion of passion overwhelm him every time he touched her? Why could this woman always make him lose his mind?
‘I can’t answer that,’ he said, his voice sounding sharp and unnatural to his own ears.
‘I feel like we’ve never been apart.’
‘You must be living under some kind of delusion.’ He laughed lightly, as if her words had been spoken in jest, having no idea how his reaction wrung her heart. ‘Four years, Lucy. It’s been four years. That is a long time in anyone’s life.’
His arms slackened their hold of her as he recalled how, in the early days of their relationship, he’d been so blindly besotted with the warmly vibrant creature of dancing and laughter, with an aura of hot sensual love about her that he’d lost no time in proposing marriage. He remembered her joy and her acceptance, and how she’d melted in his arms and kissed him with all her passion, exactly as she’d done moments before.
He glanced down at her and saw her watching him, her apprehensive green eyes soft and questioning. As if she saw the answer to some unspoken question she sought, she stepped back, struggling valiantly to make the transition from heated passion to flippancy that he seemed to find so easy. His ability to treat th
e matter so lightly made her heart squeeze in an awful, inexplicable way.
‘You are right. Four years is a long time. A lot has happened to both of us in that time. I am no longer a girl given to foolish dreams and fancies. For the past few weeks we have been too close, alone for most of the time. The past and the present have become so mixed up that I am often confused. It’s been difficult for both of us to separate the past from the present.’ She managed a tremulous little smile. ‘I suppose it’s only natural that we would want to know if there was anything left out of what we once had. But I am not a doll, Nathan, to be picked up or dropped at your whim. That night when I fell into the stream...’ She swallowed. She could not bring herself to pretend it had never happened. ‘That night changed matters between us. Don’t you realise that?’
She spoke so calmly that the ironic glint faded from Nathan’s eyes. He looked at her pale face and the eyes ringed by deep shadows. Sorrow was etched in their depths and in the lines around her mouth. ‘Whatever happened, happened—and no one can change that now,’ he answered. ‘What you did—when you left me—I realise what made you do it and I understand. Despite everything, what I do know is that I need you, and that is the all of it. But until this is over, until we are back in Lisbon—I can’t say what will happen in the future—what I will decide to do.’
Ire sparked in her eyes. ‘Until you decide? I, too, have some thinking to do, Nathan—decisions to make.’
His eyes lingered on her for a moment, but the look in them was inscrutable. They both remembered what they had once been to each other, but when Lucy looked into Nathan’s eyes, she read nothing in them. He made no effort to touch her again. She remained silent as unbearable relief stirred inside her, seeping back over the terrible suffering and mortification of the past. But he still had not said he loved her. He needed her though, in spite of everything. There was so much damage to repair, it would take time to wash away the hurt. There was still too much between them, too many days of despair. They might never be able to recover the closeness they had once shared, but she owed him this attempt.
Lucy Lane and the Lieutenant Page 18