Lucy Lane and the Lieutenant

by Helen Dickson

  ‘So you see, Nathan,’ she said cautiously, ‘if matters are to be set to rights between the two of you, I very much fear the burden for it will fall completely on you.’

  He nodded. Katherine was right. The melting away of old barriers had given him back his ability to love, going beyond the boundaries which for so long had been his defence. His love and devotion to Lucy were laid wide open, so he knew what he had to do. He could not deny or hide his emotions any longer.

  ‘Now I have straightened out the confusing array of emotions beating at me for four years, I know what I must do. I cannot turn my back on the woman I have tried so hard to deny, on the truth my heart has hidden.’

  Katherine’s eyes warmed at the tenderness in his eyes and voice. ‘Don’t leave it too long, will you? She adores you.’

  * * *

  On their arrival in Portsmouth, the wharf was bustling with commerce piled with crates and barrels and lined with carriages and wagons. Naval and merchant vessels lay at anchor in the harbour.

  It was late afternoon when Lucy accompanied Katherine ashore. Held close in his mother’s arms, Charles, who was developing apace, looked about him with interest at the ships and the passengers and soldiers returning home. Nathan had written to the Duke of Londesborough, giving him an approximate date of their arrival. Relief washed over them when they found he had sent a coach for them.

  Spending the night in Portsmouth, they began the journey to London the next morning.

  * * *

  Lucy’s arrival brought Dora hurrying from her room in her eagerness to be reunited with her niece. Never slackening her pace, she was nearly breathless as she swept into the hall. She was disappointed that Nathan had already left. In his haste to deliver Katherine and a fretful Charles to Lord Londesborough at his London home, he had not stayed long.

  ‘Oh, thank goodness you’re safe,’ Dora cried in teary relief as she reached out to embrace Lucy, making no effort to halt the profusion of grateful tears coursing down her cheeks as she encompassed her niece within the circle of her arms. ‘I was so fearful of what might happen to you!’ She wept with joy. ‘I’ve been nearly beside myself, not knowing what Nathan intended to do when you got to Portugal. My greatest fear, of course, with that wretched war raging over there, was that you and Nathan would be killed.’

  ‘We suffered no harm, Aunt Dora,’ Lucy assured her aunt as she stood back within the circle of the older woman’s arms. ‘Now is not the time for discussions. I do not want to think of anything but my relief at being home.’ She spoke the truth, for somehow this house where she had lived with her aunt for such a short time before she had left for Portugal had become just that to her. ‘I’ll tell you everything when I’ve bathed and changed my clothes.’

  Dora clasped her niece’s cheeks between her palms and gazed with tear-filled eyes into the face of her only relative before bestowing a fond kiss upon her brow. ‘I am so very relieved to have you back, Lucy. I would never have been able to bear your loss if anything had happened to you. But I knew I could count on Nathan to keep you safe. Was it very difficult out there?’

  ‘At times,’ Lucy admitted. ‘It’s strange when I look back on that remarkable journey that it wasn’t nearly as punishing as it might have been. I marvel that we came through it so easily. But we did. Our luck held through all of it. Apart from the towns and villages where we stayed the nights, we hardly saw another person the whole way. Of course we were aware there was a war going on and were constantly on our guard, but Nathan assured me the conflict at that time was over the border in Spain. Now, let me go and get cleaned up and I will tell everything.’

  * * *

  The next afternoon Lucy left the house wrapped in a cloak and she needed one. A cold wind blew and the sky was overcast. She felt a curious sense of belonging as she entered Covent Garden. It seemed to welcome her back. Mellowed with age, raffish and not quite respectable, it had its own unique character and colour which she had always loved. This charming neighbourhood, with plump blue-grey pigeons strutting on the stones of the piazza and its bustling market and busy theatres, was, to her, the heart of London and it was good to be back even though she was no longer employed as an actress.

  All was total confusion at the Portas Theatre, with stagehands and actors rushing about all over the place. Almost everyone recognised her, calling and waving to her and telling her how good it was to see her back while carrying on with what they were doing. It didn’t take long for her to locate Coral. She was on stage and gasped with delight on seeing her friend.

  ‘Lucy! You’re back! Lord, love, I’m glad to see you! It hasn’t been the same without you.’ She hurried towards her, her hazel eyes shining with delight to see her closest friend.

  Coral was wearing a pale pink dress and her blond hair spilled over her shoulders in glistening waves. When Lucy hugged her she smelled of scented soap.

  ‘I called on your Aunt Dora and she told me you’d gone away for a while.’

  ‘That’s right. I didn’t arrive back in London until yesterday. I couldn’t wait to come and see you.’

  Coral took her hand and together they went to her dressing room where she poured them both a glass of chilled wine. They sank into overstuffed chairs and drank it, talking over old times and the current production.

  ‘Have you seen Jack, Coral?’ Lucy asked, keen to know what had become of her former beau.

  ‘Not lately.’ A concerned look entered her eyes. ‘He’s gone to Bath for Christmas. I think he’s found someone else, love. Do you mind?’

  Lucy shook her head. ‘No. He was never known to be faithful to one woman for long. It would never have worked between us. I hope he’s happy. And how is Jamie? Still writing his plays?’

  Coral nodded, looking awfully pleased. ‘He’s finally got someone interested in his latest and even got backers to finance it. I’ve read it and I have to say it’s very good—full of wit and verve. He’s over the moon about it. We both are.’

  ‘I’m so happy, Coral. Jamie is extremely talented. I had every faith in him.’

  ‘What about you, Lucy? Where have you been?’

  ‘In Portugal—with Nathan.’

  Coral’s eyes opened wide in amazement. ‘Nathan? Nathan Rochefort?’

  ‘Yes. It’s all very complicated, Coral.’ She had told Coral the whole story about Nathan and she had been intrigued. She was the only person she had dared confide in after the break up, but she needed to talk to someone about it and knew she could trust Coral completely.

  ‘Are you back together?’

  ‘No,’ she answered quietly. ‘Four years ago I made a terrible mistake, Coral. I thought Nathan and Katherine...’ She bit her lip to stop it trembling. ‘Well, you know all about that. It turns out that I was wrong and he finds it difficult to trust me again.’ She told her of the assignment and why Nathan had needed her help. What she didn’t tell her was about the baby. Giving herself a gentle shake, she smiled. ‘But enough of that. I’m back now and I’ve put all that behind me.’

  Coral didn’t believe her. ‘I think spending all that time with Nathan has reawakened all the old feelings you had for him.’

  Lucy sighed, putting her empty glass down. ‘I never could hide things from you, Coral. I can’t deny it, but it’s over. Now,’ she said, helping herself to more wine, ‘how’s the play going? Are you enjoying playing Portia?’

  ‘Oh, yes. Mr Portas is pleased with my performance and the audience appear to be. At least they didn’t throw stones at me on opening night,’ she said, laughing. ‘But what of you? Are you returning to the stage?’

  ‘I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I thought I might go away for a while—maybe do some travelling with a theatre group, but I’m in no hurry. I’m just glad to be home again and spending time with Aunt Dora.’

  ‘Then I see no reason
why you can’t attend the party tomorrow night to celebrate Jamie’s good fortune—here at the theatre after the show. After much persuasion Mr Portas has agreed to a private party for cast, crew, friends and journalists—the latter never averse to free food and drink as you know. You will enjoy it, Lucy—with all your old friends—and maybe a few of your admirers,’ she said with a twinkle in her eye. ‘What do you say?’

  Indeed, Lucy thought, what could she say? She wasn’t in any mood for a party, but Coral wouldn’t take no for an answer. With a sigh of resignation she nodded. Perhaps a party was just what she needed to take her mind off Nathan.

  Chapter Eleven

  The noise and chatter grew less as every one of the hundred or more guests—mostly theatrical folk—who crowded on to the stage turned in the direction of Lucy’s entrance. There had been much talk when she had disappeared from the London stage and reappeared so suddenly. Now curiosity was matched by envy from the ladies and open admiration from the gentlemen, as Lucy, swathed in a shimmer of crimson satin, the high waist successfully hiding any signs of her pregnancy, stood beside Coral. Her glowing chestnut hair was upswept in an in a delightful elaboration of soft curls.

  ‘How do I look?’ Lucy asked, feeling nervous amongst all these people, although why she should be she had no idea. Many of them were friends and acquaintances of long standing.

  ‘Absolutely stunning,’ Coral told her. ‘Not many women could carry off a gown that bold. You do it with flair, love, so make the most of it. See how pleased everyone is to see you. Enjoy yourself.’

  A group of musicians in the pit in front of the stage played a lively country dance and people stepped back as couples took to the floor. There was a crush of people around Lucy and she found herself being vivacious and charming to a coterie of young gentlemen and a pack of journalists from Fleet Street all wanting to know where she had been hiding herself for the past three months.

  Without committing herself she moved on, hearing voices telling her it was nice to have her back. She made herself smile back at them, but her heart wasn’t in it. She knew she should be pleased that they were glad to see her, yet she did not feel it. Her head ached and the taste of anger was in her mouth, though she could not have said who she was angry with. And yet the candlelit theatre filled her with an admiration which her pride forbade her to show. It was a long way from Portugal and the war.

  She was only too aware of herself and the enormous power of her attraction over the men. After all those dangerous weeks in Portugal, coupled with the dreadful experience of killing a man and Nathan’s indifference to her, she emerged like some exotically beautiful butterfly, and stood up better than she had expected to the rigours of that night, determined that no one would ever guess at her condition or how unhappy she was.

  * * *

  Oblivious to everything that was going on around him, Nathan watched her from across the crowded stage as she smiled and laughed with a group of admiring swains, all vying for her attention. People gave him curious looks, but his mind was occupied with the proposal he intended to make to Lucy. A breathtaking vision in crimson, she was too exquisite to be flesh and blood—too regal and aloof to have ever let him touch her. He drew a long, strangled breath and realised he hadn’t been breathing as he watched her.

  They had wanted each other from that first moment they had laid eyes on each other. She was passionate and courageous, quick to anger and forgive. She was serene and regal amongst her friends, jaunty and skilful with a pistol in her hands, passionate and sweet in his arms. She was all of that, and much more.

  And he loved her.

  As if she sensed his eyes on her, she turned and looked directly at him, their eyes meeting and locking.

  Unable to understand what he was doing at the theatre, Lucy watched as a slow, lazy smile crept across his face and he started towards her. Suffused with trepidation and a familiar ache in her breast, she waited for him to reach her. He was taller than any other man present, with powerful shoulders and long, muscular legs. Instead of wearing the bright satin clothes the other men wore he was clad in raven black from head to foot, with the exception of his snowy shirt and neckcloth, which were so white they seemed to gleam against the stark black of his jacket and waistcoat.

  Lucy had the thought that he was like a large, predatory hawk in the midst of a gathering of tame, colourful peacocks. Taking her hand, he raised it and touched her fingers with his lips, all the while holding her eyes captive.

  ‘Nathan! Forgive me if I appear surprised. I didn’t expect to see you here.’ The roguish smile he gave her made her heart somersault with incredulous joy.

  ‘No, of course you didn’t. I called at the house, hoping to see you. Your aunt told me where I could find you.’

  ‘I see. I—I didn’t expect to see you so soon’—if at all, she thought. ‘How is Katherine? Have you seen her since she moved into Londesborough House?’

  Nathan nodded. Aware that they were attracting curious stares, he drew her into the shadows at the side of the stage. ‘She has settled in well—and Charles, too. What she will do eventually I have no idea. I content myself knowing they are both safe. The duke is taking her to the Londesborough ancestral home in Kent for some peace and quiet shortly. She would like you to call on her before she leaves London.’

  ‘I—I will—soon.’

  ‘The duke would also like to express his gratitude to you in person.’

  ‘But—there is no need. I have been paid generously for what I did.’

  ‘He would still like to meet you. Perhaps we could go together?’

  He suggested it in a voice which made Lucy think he had already convinced himself that she would accept. Her heart was suddenly uplifted. ‘Yes, I would like that.’

  ‘Then that’s settled. Now, will you offer me some refreshment, or must I die of thirst?’

  Lucy laughed and led him to a long trestle table laden with food and drink. ‘I would like to introduce you to my friend Coral. This party is to celebrate her friend’s success. He’s just had his first play accepted and everyone expects it to do well.’

  Nathan smiled, a bit ill at ease, but he soon relaxed. Coral took him under her wing, all friendly warmth. Impressed by his title, Mr Portas was most engaging and chatted about the war in the Peninsula and things in general. Nathan seemed to enjoy himself, but Lucy noticed a certain reserve in his manner and suspected he found the theatre crowd all rather too exuberant and outgoing for his taste.

  * * *

  ‘He’s charming—and devilishly handsome,’ Coral told her a while later after talking with him. ‘He’s also terribly well bred. I can hardly believe you were once betrothed to him.’

  Lucy gazed at Nathan, still engaged in conversation with Mr Portas. ‘There are times when I can’t believe it myself. He’s changed—more serious than he used to be. I think I might have had something to do with that—and the war in Spain.’

  ‘I think he’s positively divine, love. That voice, those eyes of his—and that scar gives him an air of mystery. He’s wonderfully virile—despite that polite reserve.’

  ‘You’ve noticed,’ Lucy said, laughing softly at her friend’s outspoken exuberance.

  ‘So have you, love.’

  Lucy sighed. ‘I am human, Coral. I have noticed.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘And—I don’t know, Coral. I have no idea why he sought me out tonight.’

  ‘Then don’t you think you should find out?’

  With a wink and a smile Coral stepped away when Nathan came back to Lucy.

  ‘I like your friends,’ he said.

  ‘Yes. I’ve been blessed. Everyone has been wonderful, welcoming me back.’

  ‘I can see you’ve made quite a life for yourself.’

  ‘I’ve worked very hard.’

  ‘I admire that,�
�� he said quietly.

  ‘Why are you here, Nathan? Have you come to tell me you are going away again?’

  A familiar heat flared in his groin. It shocked him to realise just how badly he still wanted her, to make love to her. Imagination only increased desire and heightened arousal. ‘That depends.’

  ‘On what?’

  ‘On you.’

  There was a moment of silence. Lucy felt ill at ease, wondering what he meant by his remark. She smoothed a lock of hair away from her cheek and asked if he would like another glass of wine, but Nathan shook his head.

  ‘Can I drag you away from all your friends? I want to be alone with you.’

  She looked up at him. ‘Why?’

  ‘Because what I have to say to you has to be said in private.’ When she looked away he reached up and cupped her chin, returning her attention to him. ‘You do want to be alone with me, don’t you, Lucy?’

  ‘Yes, but—’ She pulled free of his grasp and glanced around, as if trying to think how to put what she wanted to say. She was very vulnerable at that moment, remembering how hurt, disillusioned and lonely she had felt when he had stepped back from her in Portugal. It would be so easy to take comfort in what he offered, but she was afraid that that would merely lead to more pain, more disillusionment, far worse than what she had felt before.

  ‘You’re afraid,’ he said, reading her mind.

  ‘Yes,’ she admitted.

  ‘I would never hurt you, Lucy.’

  ‘Not intentionally,’ she said.

  ‘I want to give you the world.’

  ‘I don’t want the world,’ she told him. ‘I don’t want a title and riches. Those things are not important to me.’

  ‘You’re all that matters to me,’ he said.

  She looked at him and wanted desperately to believe him. ‘I once told you that I loved you. Since you came back into my life and the time we have spent together, you must know that my feelings for you have not changed. Yet, you have not spoken to me about how you feel. I am confused, Nathan. I feel I do not know you any more.’