I feel guilty all of a sudden that I haven’t been more supportive. She does so much for me, and there’s not much I can do for her. For fuck’s sake, she’s planning to make me godfather to her child. Me! I still can’t believe it. It really means something that she has that kind of trust in me. In my judgment. Couldn’t I offer her the same?
“I’ll go with you to the clinic.”
Her jaw drops. “What?”
“I’ll go with you. To the basting place.” I can’t keep the grimace off my face, but I try to sound upbeat. “Maybe if I go and learn about the process, I’ll feel better about it.”
“Reid, do you mean it? Really?” The look on her face is pure joy. I feel kind of amazing I put it there.
“Sure.”
“Thank you!” she squeals, throwing her arms around my neck. She comes at me with so much force, in fact, that she knocks me over backward. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” And somehow we’re horizontal again, chest to chest, only it’s me trapped beneath her this time.
She picks up her head and looks down at me. Can she feel how fast and hard my heart is beating? For a moment, I feel like I can’t breathe, like I’m suffocating, like there’s not enough oxygen in the room and it’s affecting my brain, which must be true because there’s no other explanation for what I do next.
I kiss her.
I reach up, take her face in my hands, and lift my head so my lips meet hers.
She’s startled, and I feel her little gasp. But she doesn’t back off or get up or even tell me to stop, which is what I’m sort of hoping she does at this point, because clearly I am not thinking straight.
But neither is she. Instead of breaking it off, she tilts her head and kisses me back, pressing her mouth more firmly to mine. A tiny sound escapes the back of her throat—part sigh, part moan, part what the hell are we doing—and it turns me on so much I thread my fingers into her hair and kiss her harder, deeper.
I know it’s wrong, but I can’t stop.
I open my lips wider and stroke her tongue with mine, and she lets me. I tighten my fists in her hair, tilting her head back so I can kiss my way down her throat, and she lets me. I taste her skin, breathe her in, and it’s familiar because it’s Willow, but it’s also crazy weird because it’s Willow, and she’s letting me do things to her I’ve only fantasized about. My blood is pumping hot and fast through my veins, and my dick is telling me to move. God, it would be so easy to reach beneath that dress and—
“Oh my God.” Willow suddenly comes to her senses and backs off me, scrambling to her feet. “I’m so sorry, Reid.”
“What?” Dazed, I prop myself on my elbows and shake my head. Did she just apologize?
“I’m so sorry. I should not have done that.” Backed against the wall, she puts both hands over her stomach, takes a deep breath, and lets it out.
“Done what?” I’m still confused somehow.
“Kissed you.”
“You didn’t kiss me. I kissed you.”
She shakes her head. “No, you didn’t. I threw myself at you after you said you’d go to the fertility clinic with me. I just got … carried away.”
“That’s not how I remember it.” I sit up and adjust the crotch of my pants, where my erection is bulging uncomfortably. “I made the first move.”
“Did not.”
“Did too.”
She presses her lips together. “Jesus, Reid. Let’s not fight about this. Either way, it was a mistake.”
It wasn’t a fucking mistake. It was everything. Mistakes are when you leave the toilet seat up and fall in later when you’re half asleep. Mistakes are forgetting to lock the door or drinking too much the night before a meeting. This date tonight is a mistake.
Not kissing Willow.
“I don’t think it was a mistake, Wills.”
I can see the wheels turning in her head. She’s trying to find a way to explain this. “Either way, this is us and we aren’t this way.”
“Why aren’t we?”
She shakes her head and takes a step back. “Because you’re Reid, and I’m ... I’m your best friend. This is crazy. It’s just all this baby talk, and you’re going on a date tonight, with an incredible girl …”
The last thing I want is to go on this date. I want to pull Willow back into my arms and shut her up with my mouth. I want to strip her down, taste her, touch her, and make sense of what the hell is going on.
“That has nothing to do with what just happened here.”
Willow sighs, pulling her blond hair to the side. “Please don’t make more of that than it was. It was only a kiss, and it was just a heat of the moment thing. You and I ... we would never work. Let’s just chalk that up to both of us being sexually frustrated.”
I would love nothing more than to argue with her, but I know her—better than she knows herself some days—and she’s not backing down. Heat of the moment would be a good explanation if I hadn’t been thinking about doing that exact thing all week. And if she felt nothing, she wouldn’t have kissed me back.
But Willow is an analyzer. She is going to nuke that kiss until she can’t take it anymore.
“Fine,” I say.
“Fine?” Her eyes widen.
“Yes, you’re probably right. We have a good thing going and I wouldn’t want us to fuck that up because we both just need to get laid.” The next words out of my mouth will tell me everything I need to know on what she’s really feeling. “It’s a good thing I have a date tonight with Kandace.”
Willow’s eyes lock on mine. “Why is that?”
I shrug. “So I can work out all this frustration.”
I watch her chest rise and fall and the heat in her eyes turn to anger. I hit a nerve. A big one.
Now I know she doesn’t believe this was a random mistake.
Eight
Willow
He kissed me.
Or I kissed him.
Either way, we kissed. A real kiss. Not one of those oops I moved my head the wrong way and we pecked kiss. No, this was a full on, oh-my-God-my-panties-just-disintegrated kiss. Reid can fucking kiss.
And after that earth-shattering kiss, I sent him on a date with Kandace, the pretty girl with blue eyes.
I hate her.
I start to pace in my apartment, cleaning up rooms that are already clean, trying not to freak the hell out. What does all of this mean anyway? We’re best friends. He knows all my control issues and problems with men. He’s seen me cry at movies and when I’m in my pajamas with no makeup on and day three of dry shampoo.
Reid knows all the awful crap I do, and I sure know all of his.
He’s a slob who has trust issues, and he drives me crazy. He has no taste in television shows. He can barely dress himself. He can’t cook—at all. He’s only ever been in one serious relationship (with Glinda the secretly wicked witch), which ended in disaster ... not that it was his fault, but still. All these things should be a red flag for me, and yet, since the other night, he’s all I think about.
I’m sitting in a daze on the couch and thinking of him when a knock at the door causes me to jump.
Maybe he’s back! Maybe his date was so bad that he left early and ... no, that would be bad. That would mean I failed at matchmaking—again. Dammit, I don’t even know what to hope for.
I get up and look through the peephole. Aspen?
“Hey,” I say as I open the door and see my sister there.
This evening, she’s wearing a lovely ensemble of what looks like a burlap sack that she converted into pants and a crop top with the word MILK across the top.
She grins. “Hi, sis. I was in the neighborhood and Mom said I should stop by and see how you’re doing.”
“Why would she say that?”
I look across the hall, where Reid’s door is, and my heart races. Behind that door, just over an hour ago, I was kissing him. Will he come by here when he’s done with his date? Or is he going to take Kandace back to his place and finish what I started
?
My stomach drops at the thought of that and then I want to slap myself.
Aspen stands there, looking at me. “I don’t know, she just said to come by.” My sister’s eyes narrow. “Hmm, that’s peculiar.”
Great, she’s getting a message from the other realm or something. “What?”
“Your aura coloring shifted from when you opened the door to just now. As soon as you looked behind me.”
“My aura coloring?”
“Yes.” She smiles knowingly. “Where is Reid, by the way? On his date?”
“If you must know, yes. He’s on the date with Kandace—”
“The girl with crazy eyes?”
My sister is such a pain in the ass sometimes. “She’s going to work out, just watch. They were both really excited about the date.” I try to sound enthusiastic.
“We’ll see,” Aspen says, as she enters my apartment, uninvited, and plops on the couch. My phone pings. “You have a text.”
I roll my eyes. “Thanks. And come on in.”
* * *
Reid: At the restaurant.
* * *
I take a deep breath and reply.
Me: Have fun.
* * *
Reid: Oh, I will. Thanks for setting this up, Wills.
* * *
I hate my life.
Me: Anything for you.
* * *
Reid: Anything?
* * *
Me: Just behave and be charming.
Or don’t. Ruin the date and come back. Let’s cuddle up on the couch and see where the night takes us.I’m so going to need my vibrator tonight.
“Who was that?” Aspen asks.
“Reid.”
My sister smirks. “How is the lady you hope will be Mrs. Fortino?”
“He didn’t say.”
“Interesting.” Aspen leans back, her arms draped over the back of the couch, and sighs.
I don’t know why that is interesting to her, but understanding the inner workings of my sister’s mind has never been my gift. Or anyone’s mind. On the other hand, she’s really intuitive, trustworthy, and would be able to make sense of the kiss Reid and I shared. Aspen has a weird way of seeing past the surface. She and my mother share that gift—I do not.
I wander over to the couch. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Say ... you’re friends with a guy, right? And you guys have this really awesome relationship. Almost like, you just get each other. There’s no pretense or expectation, you can just be who you are.”
She nods.
“What if things ... started to ... change?”
“Change how?”
“Just … what if things suddenly felt different? I don’t know, this is stupid.” I stop myself. I’m being dumb. I already know what it means.
It means nothing.
It means that I’m horny and need to get laid.
It means that my friend and I are comfortable around each other, so it only makes sense I’d feel something when we kissed. Besides, it’s been years and I’ve never had this issue before. Maybe it’s all the talk of a baby? That would make perfect sense.
I’m anxious to have a kid and settle into the next phase of my life, and for most women, a man would be the obvious need to complete the picture. So, Reid is the man I’m with the most, therefore my subconscious has chosen him.
Voilà.
Problem solved.
“You have feelings for Reid,” Aspen says with a knowing grin.
My face gets hot. “No, I don’t. Not those feelings.”
“Oh, you liar! I knew it! I knew something was different. Your eyes got all glossy when you were staring at his door.” She walks over, placing her hand on my shoulder and closes her eyes. “And you guys did something!”
How in the hell does she know that? Seriously, I’m not sure if I should even move because she seems so entranced.
“Aspen,” I whine softly and she opens her eyes.
“We have to go,” she announces.
“Go?”
“Yes, get dressed, something covert.”
“Covert?” Now I’m really confused. I grab her arm to stop her. “Aspen, please explain.”
“We don’t have time. Get dressed and be back out in five minutes.” She turns me, slaps me on my butt, and sends me away. “Wear something that won’t stand out.”
Something that won’t stand out? As opposed to her burlap MILK getup?
I have no idea where she thinks we need to go, but I’m terrified.
Thirty minutes later we are in the back of a cab heading for Randolph Street. I must be crazy.
“You’re sure they’re at The Darling?” Aspen asks.
“Positive. I made the reservation.” I put one hand over my stomach. It won’t stop jumping. “But we’re not going to be able to get in without one.”
“Just leave that to me and stay quiet.”
We exit the cab and walk down the block toward the bar, our heels clicking on the sidewalk. Since I assume there’s a dress code at The Darling, I made her change at my place, and after looking at photos of the bar’s interior online, we decided on shades of dark brown and deep red. Our goal is to blend in. Go undercover. Spy on Reid and his date.
Okay, stalk them.
But I have myself nearly convinced I’m doing it for research purposes—just to make sure things are going okay with my project. Reid really cannot be trusted not to mess this up.
My heart races as we enter the warm, dimly lit interior, and my eyes struggle for a moment to adjust to the dark. Red leather banquettes. Velvet upholstery and drapes. Crystal chandeliers. It’s sexy and romantic, the perfect place for an intimate first date. I scan the room for Reid and Kandace but don’t see them.
“Good evening. Do you have a reservation?” asks the hostess, a pretty twenty-something with long dark hair and a nose ring.
“We were supposed to,” says Aspen, who sounds as if she’s choking up, “but I just plain forgot. It’s a last minute trip, you see, and we’re trying to fit everything in.” She lowers her voice to a stage whisper. “My sister’s only got a couple months to live.”
The girl gasps. “Oh, no.”
“Yes.” Aspen nods sadly while I try to disappear into the woodwork. “Look at her face. That ashen color—it’s terrible. And those bags under her eyes. She used to be so pretty.”
“I’m very sorry,” the hostess says solemnly.
“Thank you.” Aspen puts a hand over her heart. “It’s been so hard. Do you think you might find some little spot for us to have one little celebration of life drink? It’s my birthday, and all I want is to see my sister happy one last time.”
“Of course.” The girl touches Aspen’s shoulder. “Give me one moment.”
“Thank you. Oh, and if you’ve got something in a corner somewhere, you know, just out of the way, that’s even better. My sister doesn’t like people seeing her face in this condition.”
The hostess nods, her eyes wide with sympathy. “I understand completely. Let me see what I can do.” She hurries away, and I smack Aspen’s arm.
“Are you nuts?”
She shrugs. “What?”
“You told her I was dying!”
“No, I didn’t. I only implied it, and anyway, it could be true—we don’t know when our number is going to be up, Willow. Death is a part of life. No one can escape it.”
I roll my eyes. “I can’t believe she fell for it. And what was all that B.S. about my face?”
“I was serious about your face. And this lighting really isn’t doing you any favors.”
I want to hit her again, but the hostess is returning, her expression happy. “I found a cozy little nook for you. Right this way.”
We follow her from the front of the bar to the back, and I keep my eyes on the feet of the patrons seated at the bar, letting my hair hang in my face so Reid won’t easily spot me. I look carefully, but I don’t see any shoes I recog
nize as his.
The “cozy little nook” turns out to be two wooden chairs along the wall between a giant potted fern and the bathroom doors.
“This is perfect,” says Aspen, taking a seat in the chair next to the fern.
I take the one next to her and smile at the hostess as she hands me a menu. “Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome.” Her face falls. “I’m so sorry about your illness, and I hope you find peace at the end of your journey.”
I drop my eyes to the floor and pray I won’t start to laugh. Aspen elbows me a moment later. “She’s gone. Did you see them?”
“No. Did you?”
“Yeah. On that navy velvet sofa just on the other side of this plant.” She gestures toward the fern. “In fact, if we’re really quiet, I bet we could hear them!”
I tug her arm. “Switch places with me. I need to see better.”
Aspen sighs heavily but gets up, and we swap chairs. Parting some of the fern stems with my hands, I stick my nose in the plant and peer through it. Sure enough, I can vaguely make out Reid on the far side of the sofa, facing me, and I see the back of Kandace’s wavy, golden hair, which she’s tossing over one shoulder as she laughs.
“Oh my God, that’s so funny. You’re so right!” Kandace enthuses.
Right about what? I wonder. And does she have to sit so close to him? She’s sort of perched on one hip, with one elbow on the back of the sofa and her legs crossed in his direction. She’s wearing a short skirt and heels. Reid is a leg man, and he has to be turned on with Kandace’s long, bare limbs on display like that.
Jealousy pinches me hard, and I try to ignore it.
“What are they talking about?” Aspen whispers, hovering close behind me.
I wave a hand over my shoulder to shut her up. “I don’t know yet.” Turning my head so my ear is cocked toward them, I close my eyes and listen more carefully.
Imperfect Match Page 6