“I’m going to teach you how to cook.”
“Um. What?”
“You heard me.” She sits up and gives me her stern librarian look. “It’s time for you to learn how to make dinner for yourself. And wouldn’t you like to cook for me sometime?”
“Willow, there are people for that. Skilled people.”
“Well, I want you to learn. What if I have a late night at work sometime? It would be really nice to come home and discover a hot meal waiting for me.”
“Oh, I can give you a hot meal any night you want.”
She rolls her eyes. “You’re really not going to do this one thing for me?”
I sigh heavily. “Fine. I guess if you’re offering to teach me, I should at least try. Will you wear a frilly apron and heels? And nothing else?”
One of her brows cocks up. “Don’t push your luck.”
“And where have you two been?” Aspen eyes us suspiciously as we walk into the family room. The guests have all left, and Willow’s family is watching the slide show again.
“On the beach,” Willow says. “We went for a walk.”
“Is that what we’re calling it now?” Aspen gives us a sly grin.
“Darlings, come sit.” Mrs. Hays gestures to the open end of the large, L-shaped sectional. “Willow, you did such a nice job on this presentation. Thank you so much. I don’t even know how you found some of these old photos!”
Willow smiles and sits down. “I have my ways.”
I drop onto the couch next to her. “You haven’t changed a bit, Mrs. Hayes,” I tell her as a wedding photo comes on the screen. “You look exactly the same as you did the day you were married.”
Willow’s mom laughs and tosses her hair. “Thank you, you flatterer. Sometimes I can’t believe it’s really been thirty-five years.”
“Just look at Dad’s hairline if you need proof,” quips Willow, prompting her father to throw a pillow at her. But he laughs along with everyone else, and it occurs to me how different my family is from the Hayeses. In fact, I can’t think of one time when we all just sat in a room together and watched a movie, let alone a slideshow celebrating the love between our parents. If there were wedding photos, I never saw them.
I look over at Willow, who’s smiling and laughing at photos of Mrs. Hayes when she was pregnant. “Look at that belly,” she says. “Holy cow, you were huge.”
“Well, you weighed nine pounds,” Mrs. Hayes reminds her. “You took up a lot of space.”
The smile stays on Willow’s face as we watch the family grow from two to three, and finally four with the birth of Aspen. I see photos of Willow growing up that I’ve never seen before—adorable baby pics, gap-toothed elementary school portraits, awkward teenage photos, a family shot at her high school graduation. The final photo in the slideshow is a picture I actually took of the Hayes family at Willow’s birthday dinner last spring.
Mrs. Hayes sighs. “What a beautiful journey it’s been so far. I wish the same for both my girls.”
“I wish to go to bed,” says Willow’s dad, rising from the couch. “I’m beat.”
“Same,” says Willow. “Mom, we thought we’d stay over rather than drive back. Is that okay with you?”
“Sure, honey.” Her mom smiles at us. “Your room is all ready for you.”
“Thanks.”
“And don’t worry about making noise tonight, your father sleeps like a rock.”
“Mom!” Willow rolls her eyes. “Jeez. We’re not going to make any noise tonight.”
“They already made noise,” says Aspen. “That’s why they went for a walk.” She makes little air quotes around the word walk, and Willow throws a couch cushion at her.
“Come on, Reid. Let’s say goodnight before my family embarrasses me any further.” She grabs my hand and pulls me from the room. “Goodnight, family.”
“Goodnight, family,” I say over my shoulder.
“Goodnight, dears!” calls Mrs. Hayes.
We head out to the car to grab our overnight bags and head straight upstairs to Willow’s room. I’ve stayed at this house a bunch of times before, but never in the same bedroom with her.
She shuts the door behind us. “Sorry about that. My family can be kind of ridiculous.”
“I think it’s nice you guys are all so close.”
“That’s one way to put it.” Smiling, she balances with one hand on the dresser as she slips off her heels. “I wouldn’t trade my mom or sister for anything, but sometimes they drive me nuts. I don’t know how my dad puts up with them.”
“He loves them.” I untuck my shirt and start to unbutton it. “It’s obvious.”
“Yeah.” She pulls her dress over her head and opens the closet.
“I mean, thirty-five years.” I shake my head. “That’s amazing. I don’t think my parents’ marriage was even good for thirty-five days. They hate each other.”
“Why are they still married?”
I shrug. “My dad always said it was cheaper to keep her.”
She gives me a look over her shoulder as she hangs up her dress. “Come on. They had two kids. There must have been love there at some point.”
“Well, there was sex at least twice.” I sit down on the double bed and take off my shoes. “But that’s all I know for sure. I’ve never even seen a wedding picture.”
“Really?” Willow’s eyes widen as she digs through her bag for her pajamas. “What do you think happened to them?”
“Who knows? My mother probably burned them, then stirred the ashes into her martini. God knows the woman doesn’t have a sentimental bone in her body. And my dad’s even worse.” I stand up and finish getting undressed. “I bet there are no surviving pictures from when Leo and I were young.”
She takes off her bra and slips on a big T-shirt. “Really? That’s so sad.”
“I remember lying in bed at night, listening to them scream at each other and wondering if they even loved us. The next morning, my mother would be too hung over to get out of bed, and I’d have to make lunches for Leo and me, make sure he had his homework in his backpack, make sure he got to the bus stop on time.” The thought of it makes my stomach muscles clench. “It was fucked up.”
She looks over at me, silent for a moment. “No wonder you’ve never really wanted kids. I guess I didn’t realize just how unhappy your childhood was. I’m sorry, Reid.”
“It’s okay.” Because I can’t stand to see her looking sad, I go to her and wrap her up in my arms. “We made it through, and even though there are a lot of mornings with my brother where I feel like nothing has changed in twenty years, I’m not damaged.”
“Okay,” she says, pressing her cheek to my chest. I’m not sure if she believes me or not.
Actually, I’m not even sure I believe me.
We finish getting ready for bed and crawl beneath the covers together in the dark. Willow snuggles up to me and puts an arm over my stomach. “I can’t stop thinking about what you said. About your parents.”
I let my hands wander beneath her pajamas. “Want me to distract you?”
“Reid!” she whispers. “Stop that!”
“Why? Your mom said it was okay.”
“My mom is not the boss of me.”
“Actually, Wills …”
“Oh, hush. You know what I meant.” She tugs her shirt back into place. “She’s not the boss of my sex life.”
“Can I be the boss of your sex life?” I easily flip her onto her back, pinning her wrists to the mattress. “If the position is open, I would like to submit an application.”
She sighs. “You’re relentless.”
“You adore me.”
Her smile is slow and sweet. “I suppose I could consider your application, as long as it’s very, very quiet.”
“I can be as quiet as you can,” I tell her, pressing my lips to hers as my cock grows harder between us.
She giggles and wraps her legs around me. “Then we’re in big trouble.”
Eighteen
Willow
“Hey, you. Why so quiet?” Reid asks, glancing at me from the driver’s seat. We’re on the road back to Chicago from my parents’ lake house.
“No reason,” I tell him.
“Liar.” He pokes me in the side.
“Maybe I’m tired. You kept me up half the night, remember?”
“Oh, yeah. That was fun being quiet.”
“Um, we failed at quiet. Did you not see my mom and sister elbowing each other all through breakfast and my father doing his best not to look either of us in the eye?” I cringe at the memory. “Ugh. Brutal.”
“He’ll live. Now what’s on your mind?”
“Nothing. Really.” It’s totally a lie, and I feel bad about it. I’m not in the habit of lying to Reid. But the truth—that I can’t stop thinking about what he told me about his childhood—would probably upset him. I want to know more, but I don’t want to dredge up unhappy memories.
On the other hand, I don’t seem to be able to let it go.
“Willow, I’ve known you for how long now?”
“Almost three years.”
“And in those three years, how many times have you really been able to fool me?”
I shrug. “A lot.”
“No.” Reid lets out a laugh. “You only think you have, but you haven’t. I see through all your crap. I consider it a gift from my father ... being able to read people.”
I exhale, my shoulders slumping. “I just hate that you had the childhood you did.”
He takes my hand in his. “I do too, but it is what it is.”
Still, it doesn’t mean that he deserved that kind of life. “I keep picturing you and Leo being small and dealing with your family fighting. It was just so different than the way I grew up.”
He nods. “It wasn’t fun, but Leo and I did fine. Well, I did, and I’m working on my brother. Now you know why I don’t talk to my parents. They’re a fucking mess.”
Reid and I have always been open, but when it comes to discussing his family life, he sort of shuts down. Now I know why.
“Does Leo talk to them?”
He sighs with a groan mixed in. “Yeah, and that’s part of the reason he’s a goddamn mess. My mother is Leo’s weak spot. She’s selfish, conniving, and a raging alcoholic. Whenever she’s on a bender or my father has said some horrible shit to her, she calls him.”
“And he always answers?” I guess.
“Yep. Every single time. He’s so damn desperate for my mother to love him, which I don’t even think she’s capable of doing. When it comes to my father, I think Leo’s sort of over trying to change his mind. Dad told him he was a useless waste of space a few years back.” Reid laughs once, but there’s nothing funny about it. “We’re both the children Vince Fortino wished he never had. If I’d taken the job at his company he was grooming me for, he’d probably tolerate me better, but fuck that. I swore I’d never work for him.”
Reid’s fingers turn white from gripping the wheel so tight. There’s tension practically radiating from his body and now I regret telling the truth about my thoughts. My hand presses on his shoulder and then he starts to relax with my touch. “We don’t have to talk about this.”
His eyes meet mine. “No, you should know what kind of bastard I could become.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh. “You’re not a bastard and you’re not your father, Reid. I’ve known you for a long time and you would never treat people like that.”
“Thanks.” His smile is small and skeptical, and it makes my heart ache. I wonder if anyone has ever told him just how amazing he is. Does he know how smart, funny, sexy, and special he is? Did anyone love him for the man he is and could be? I don’t think they did, and for that, I’m sad and angry. Reid deserved more than what they gave him. I plan to love him enough for all of us.
“I’ve worked really fucking hard to be nothing like him. But sometimes I worry it’s inevitable.”
“It’s not. You’ll never be like him.” I rest my head on his shoulder, falling into a comfortable quiet as he drives back to Chicago.
I want to bottle this moment up and keep it close. There are so many words to describe what’s in my heart, and they move so fast through my mind it’s hard to keep up. I’m happy, loved, hopeful, and relieved, but also scared, worried, and curious on how we’ll weather all the storms to come.
Mostly, though, I’m content.
“This weekend meant a lot to me,” I say as we pull into the underground parking.
“You mean a lot to me.”
Damn him for making me blush. “Well, that’s a good thing because we both know how I feel about you.”
He parks and grins. “Yeah, how’s that?”
“Hmm, it’s so strange, the first word I thought of was irritated.”
Reid laughs. “So just like any other day.”
“Pretty much.”
“Good to know that things aren’t going to change just because we’re dating.”
I shake my head. “Things most definitely are changing.”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.” He pops the trunk and grabs both our bags.
Sounds silly, but I love the little things like that. While it might not seem like much to anyone else, it’s the world to me. It shows that he wants to take care of me in some way, and he’s really always done it. He carries my bags, opens the door, and finds ways to touch me whether it’s holding hands or resting his palm on the small of my back. I hope that never stops.
“I am,” I tell him as we walk toward the elevators. “You’re going to start cooking for me, that’s a change. And we’re sleeping together, which requires you and I to stay at each other’s place a few times a week.”
“Or every fucking night,” he suggests, setting down my bag to hold the door open for me.
“We just started dating,” I remind him. “No need to rush.”
“I’m not rushing.” He looks at me seriously. “I don’t want to spend a night without you, Wills. Why would I?”
My heart thumps happily. “Don’t you worry that we’re going to want to kill each other?”
Reid lets out a huff that borders on a laugh. “Sweetheart, I’ve wanted to kill you daily, but I’m pretty sure you’ve felt the same thing with me.”
“Wait! You’ve wanted to kill me?”
“Wills.” His voice is soft. “It’s only because I wanted you in other ways but lied to myself.”
“Oh, well, that’s a good answer.”
He chuckles as his lips move toward mine. “I’d much rather do other things.”
“Like?”
Reid’s nose brushes against mine, his warmth cocoons me as his mouth is so close to mine. “Hmm ... there are so many options.” He toys with me by not giving me what I want—him. “I could kiss you.”
“You could.”
“I could, but I could do other things too.”
“I could tell you no.”
Reid chuckles as if we both know that’s ridiculous. “Do you want to tell me no?”
“Depends on what you’re wanting to do.”
I’m not going to let him think he calls all the shots. A woman has to keep her wits about her and all.
“I could tie you up again.”
Warmth floods my core as I remember just how hot that night was. I’ve never considered myself very adventurous in the bedroom, but there was something about being with him that made me open to it. I knew I could trust him. He would never hurt me, make me feel unworthy, or lie to me. For a control freak, it was sort of liberating to give him that power for just a bit.
“I might like that.”
Reid’s lips brush against mine. “I know I would like it.”
“I bet you would. Kiss me,” I tell him.
“Yes, ma’am.”
His lips press against mine and I groan. How is it that we just had each other earlier this morning and I’m already desperate for him now? It’s like this man is turning me into a sex fiend. His kisses give me air. His touc
h gives me life. His heart gives me hope. I want everything that he’s willing to share because it’s Reid.
All of him.
I want the good, the bad, and the ugly with him.
His hands fist in my hair, holding my lips to his as he kisses me deeper. I don’t care that we’re in the elevator and the doors could open at any minute. All that exists in this world is us.
Much too soon for my liking, we reach our floor and he pulls back. But as soon as we step into the hallway, he drops the bags and takes my face in his hands. His forehead rests on mine. “I don’t know how I ever lived without you like this, Wills.”
I touch my hand to his cheek. My heart is pounding in my chest because it’s not what we didn’t have before, but what losing this could do to me going forward. I hear my mother’s advice to her clients in my head like a soundtrack, each piece of wisdom conflicting with the next.
Don’t rush things, let them happen.
You can’t love too hard, there’s no such thing.
Stop trying to control the heart, it doesn’t listen.
Fight for what you want because it won’t be yours if you don’t.
Don’t fall in love with the potential.
Just because a person is right or perfect for you, you may not be the right one for them.
Speak the truth and it shall become real.
Our eyes are locked on each other and the last one of my mom’s mantras gives me the strength to tell him what’s in my heart. “I don’t ever want to know what it’s like to live without you like this again. I love you and I don’t ever want to lose you.”
Reid’s fingers interlace with mine, bringing my hand down. “You won’t. Somehow, I’ll be a better man for you, Wills. Just give me time ... and a lot of patience.”
Patience, I can do. It’s the time part that worries me.
Nineteen
Willow
“What are you doing tonight? Wait, don’t even answer that because I have a feeling I know exactly who and what you’re doing,” Aspen says as she flops into the chair in my office.
“Reid mentioned dinner, but I’m not sure.”
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