"No one is going to think that you're not honoring his memory. Josie, I love you like a daughter, but you've got to let yourself live. Nobody ever expected you to stay single. Nobody expected you to live his life. You did that. And you can undo it. Sell the house, but stay in Carolton." He reached out and squeezed her hand, his voice soothing her.
"I don't think I can," she cried, trying to wipe at her tears with the tissue.
"Sure you can. You just do it."
"It's not that easy," she argued.
"Look, finish out the summer here and then see, okay?"
She twisted the tissue in her fingers. "That's another thing," she said softly. "I can't finish the day camp." She couldn't tell him why either. There were two reasons. One, she had fallen for Jake, and two, she was part wolf.
"What do you mean?"
"It's okay. I'm turning it over to the director at the Boys and Girls Club. We've already spoken. It's a done deal."
"Well," he took another big gulp of the pink medicine before replacing the cap, "I wish you'd have thought about this some more."
"I have," she reached for his hands. "I know this all seems sudden for you, but something happened and I, I just woke up or something." She shook her head, "I can't explain it."
"I understand," he squeezed her hand. "I know you don't believe me, but I do. When I met Isabelle, my world turned upside down, but in a good way." He smiled, remembering his first wife. "It was like I finally knew who I was, what I was meant to do. That's when I got into oil and cattle. We would still be together, too, like you and Brian, but she was taken from me. The world's a strange place. And when you find something that does that to you, you have to grab it up with both hands," he grasped the air to emphasize his point.
"It's not that I've found something. It's just that I feel something. I feel so much. I really can't explain it," she shook her head again. No words were sufficient for what she wanted to explain. She had changed, and now she needed to figure out who she was.
"You know, my mama always said there were moments in life where everything makes sense. If it makes sense to you now, then you do what you have to do, okay?"
"Thank you, Uncle Martin."
"One favor though?" They both stood and he put his arms around her.
"Anything," she smiled up at him.
"Don't leave until after the dedication ceremony for the park, okay? I want you to be part of it."
"Okay," she agreed.
* * * *
"Have you seen Josie?" Even though he wasn't doing a seminar today, Jake had been scanning the day camp area for her all morning. It wasn't like her not to show up. This was only her second week.
Maryanne shook her head, "No, I haven't. Mrs. Blake is in charge now. She's from the Boys and Girls Club. She told us this morning. I guess you didn't get the memo," she laughed.
"What do you mean, she's in charge?" He fisted his hands and held them at his sides.
"I mean, she's in charge. Ask her. I have to get my group ready. We're feeding the gators this morning."
"You must be Dr. Moore," a young African American woman came up behind him.
"Yeah, I'm Jake."
"I'm Tonya Blake. I'm running the camp now," she extended her hand.
"It's nice to meet you. What happened to Josie?" he tried not to sound rude, but he was both hurt and offended that he hadn't been informed.
"She's moving away, I think. Anyway, I have those lists you wanted from the kids so you could get their animals ready. They are really looking forward to your project." She handed him three large manila envelopes with the information he had asked about last week.
"Thank you," he took the envelopes from her and tucked them under his arm. "It's nice to meet you, but I need to go get this ready."
"Thanks, and it's nice to meet you, too."
Moving away. No. There had to be a mistake. So much had happened in such a short amount of time. He couldn't process all of this. His heart felt as if it had been ripped from his chest without anesthetic. God, it hurt to walk the short distance to his lab. He fumbled with his keys, finally unlocking the door.
No, no, NO! She couldn't leave. Not now. Not since he had been thinking about her all weekend. Not since he had regretted letting her slip out of his arms Saturday night. Not since he had realized the reason why.
He threw his keys onto his desk. That was when he noticed the trademark pink stationary sitting there, folded, with his name on the outside.
Josie had been here. Josie who was so terrified of snakes she couldn't even set foot in here before without extreme coaxing. This was worse than he thought. He sank into his chair and tore open the envelope.
She was gone. Leaving anyway. Her note said thank you for the past few days and thanks for helping with the day camp. It was very casual, not mentioning exactly what they had been doing the past couple of days.
Jake turned the paper over and over again in his fingers, hoping for some kind of clue as to what had gone wrong.
"I know what you're thinking," he heard Lucy rattling behind him. "You're thinking I should go after her, aren't you?"
The snake wriggled in response, flicked her tongue in and out along the glass. Her breeding had been successful. All was right with the world. All except for this.
Jake should feel relieved. He hadn't wanted any kind of attachments anyway. He hadn't even decided if he was going to stay here after the summer. Sure, his family was here, but he still didn't see them as much as he should. Still, it was nice to be in a place where he had roots. It was a place that was supposed to be safe from the distractions of the world. He hadn't come here to fall in love.
"Okay, okay," he finally gave in to Lucy's encouragement. "I'll ask Martin if he knows where she is," he let out a deep sigh. He had never felt heartbroken before, but there was a lump in his chest that couldn't be explained any other way.
* * * *
Hot Springs had seemed like just the ticket just a few days ago, but now it felt like she was running away. It was meant to be a retreat, not an excuse. Josie was determined not to feel sorry for herself. That was why she had ordered the double mocha fudge ice cream. And, if the doorbell was any indication, it had arrived.
She tightly pulled her white robe around her and went to the door.
"I heard you ordered ice cream and knew it was time to send in the Calvary," Sharon Watson-Mitchell stood at the door of the hotel room looking as flawlessly beautiful as ever, one hand on her hip, the other holding said ice cream.
"Sharon! Oh my God, how did you know I was here?" Josie stumbled backward as her sister-in-law entered the room.
"Word travels. You gonna hug me or stand there with that towel falling off your head. My gosh, girl, what did you do to your hair?"
Josie felt the towel sliding off, revealing the reddened locks. She pushed it back into place only to have Sharon knock it back off when she hugged her. "I colored the hair," she explained.
"Well, I can see that. Here, I brought two spoons," Sharon handed her the pint of ice cream and one of the spoons.
"Thanks. You came all the way from Dallas to bring me ice cream?" she eyed her sister-in-law before settling onto the bed, crossing her legs.
"No. I came all the way from Dallas for a facial. I found you in the bargain."
"You expect me to believe that?" she dug into the gooey ice cream. It had practically melted in the heat.
"I don't care what you believe," she shrugged. "All I know is I'm here to get you in a better mood."
"Who said I'm in a bad mood?"
"Nobody said bad. I'm just saying better." She eyed Josie's hair. "You know, the color's not so bad."
"Thanks," she managed through a mouthful of ice cream. "I thought you said you had two spoons."
Sharon settled next to her on the bed, "I did, but I didn't say I was eating that." She pulled a pint of vanilla bean ice cream from the bag she had been holding. "This is more my speed."
"So you came here to talk me into co
ming back?"
"Nope. I'm just here to spend the week with you. Catch up. It's been a while since we had some girl time."
It had been a while since Josie had had any girl time with anyone. She didn't have any real friends to speak of in Carolton. Another reason why she needed to leave town and start over. And since Sharon and Will moved to Dallas two years ago, Josie hadn't exactly kept in touch. "Girl time sounds good," she finally admitted.
"Good. It'll give you a chance to get that good looking snake cowboy out of your head."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Josie protested.
"There's no use hiding it," Sharon waved away the panic in Josie's eyes. "Martin called Will, who told me everything."
"What does Martin know?" she folded her arms, narrowing her eyes at Sharon.
"Let's just say that Jake the Snake has had a few problems since you left."
"What kind of problems? Is he okay?" She hoped there wasn't as much panic in her voice as she heard.
Sharon laughed. "See, I told you." She pointed her spoon at Josie. "You can't hide from a woman who's been there, done that."
"I'm not hiding," she shoved her spoon into the ice cream and let it stay there. She had lost her appetite.
"I know that. That's why you're here at a luxurious spa instead of there making out with him."
"I haven't been making out with him," she blushed.
"Yes, you have. And he's nuts about you."
"He's nuts, all right. But not about me. This is just sex to him. Hell, he's even seeing someone else, too," she shrugged, hoping it was a convincing gesture.
"I'm still not buying," Sharon put the lid back on her ice cream and then walked over to the in room freezer. "You want yours in here, too, or you want it to melt?"
"I don't care," she handed the pint to Sharon.
"Them's fighting words," she winked. "Now, tell me all about Jake Martin."
"There is really nothing to tell," she said before recounting the past week to Sharon.
"MMmmmhmmm, I see," Sharon narrowed her eyes at Josie.
"No, you don't." Josie wandered over to the window that overlooked one of the pools. She folded her arms around herself. Sharon didn't see anything because there was nothing to see.
"Josie, I'm your friend. And probably the only person who'll be completely honest with you," she softened her tone. "I know you feel guilty about Brian, but I think you really have a shot at something here. Take it," she urged.
"A shot at what?" Josie turned around. "A man who sleeps around? No thanks. I got what I wanted from him and now I'm done."
"Do you really believe that?"
"I know it. That's why it was so easy to walk away. I made a clean break because there was no attachment. We had a nice weekend. That's all."
"Yeah, that and the fact that for the first time in four years you felt alive," she threw the words Josie had used earlier back at her.
"I still do. But that doesn't mean anything," she argued.
"Honey, it means everything. Four years and nobody even turned your head. After two nights with this man, you felt alive. That's a big something. I know. I feel the same way about Will."
"I don't want to talk about him anymore," Josie sank into the chair near the window.
"Fine. You want to go shopping?"
"No. I have a massage scheduled in thirty minutes."
"Well, you don't want to be late for that, do you?" Sharon winked.
"No, I don't. Can I meet you after?"
"Sure. I'm in room 440. Call me when you're done. If you feel up to it."
"Okay. Thanks for being here, Sharon," Josie hugged her sister-in-law before she left.
A massage would be just what the doctor ordered. Josie hoped it would soothe the headache she had been harboring for a few days. Nothing else had worked, and she learned that all the double fudge mocha in the world couldn't ease her tension.
She had done the right thing by leaving the way she had. She didn't regret it. The kids were in completely capable hands with Tonya Blake. She had degrees in social work and early childhood education. And she was more than willing to step in and take over the program.
Still, she had an ache in her gut coming from her guilt over leaving Jake the way she had. The note was a sucker's way out. She should have just confessed to him about what she was feeling. The only problem was the feelings were all still so confusing to her. Her solution was to come to Arkansas to think.
She rubbed her temples, feeling a mounting headache. And she wished she possessed the courage to just pick up the phone and call the zoo. She knew Jake would be there. Where else would he be?
Instead, she picked up her purse and went to the spa.
* * * *
This was Josie's first massage. She felt tense as she slipped out of her clothes and into the thick white towel offered to her earlier by the attendant. At least the masseuse was a woman. If she had been a man, Josie's nerves would have gotten the better of her. As it were, her stomach was already in her throat, and her sweaty palms were little comfort.
As instructed, she settled herself onto the massage table. She still clung to the front of the towel where she had tucked it in. The uncomfortable position wasn't very conductive to a relaxing massage, but she still wasn't ready to peel away all of her inhibitions.
Her breath caught in her throat when she heard the door open and close again. There was nothing to this, she reminded herself as she felt the woman near her. She slid her hand out from under her, allowing the towel to be pulled down her back.
"You can breathe, darlin'," the sensual voice above her assured.
Her heart completely stopped beating. That was the only reason she could think of for all loss of rational thought. Had she been standing, she would have probably swooned, Scarlett O'Hara style. Instead, she brought her hand back to the towel, clutching it tightly and rolled over in one swift motion.
"What are you doing here?" she demanded.
"Hell if I know." He smiled his usual crooked grin before gently tugging on the edge of her towel. "But I'm glad I came."
She sat up, her eyes shooting wildly around the room in search of her clothes. "Did Martin tell you I was here?" She scooted off of the edge of the table and hid behind the oriental screen. In one swift motion, she had pulled her jeans on.
"What makes you think that?"
"How else would you have found me?" She emerged from behind the screen finishing the last button on her white top.
"Ah, so you admit it," he smiled, folding his arms and giving her an all-knowing glance. "You were hiding from me."
"I wasn't hiding from you," she shook her head. She carefully remained with the table between them.
"Then why did you quit your job and run off to Arkansas without letting me know?"
"I don't know. Why did you go out with Susan and not let me know? Or even better, why did you pretend to have business at the zoo and run into hiding yourself? Huh? Did you think about that?" Her indignant hands were on her hips.
"Fine, you got me," he held his hands up in surrender. "But I'm here now and I want to talk to you."
"I have nothing to say to you." She cocked her head to the side, "Well, maybe I do. But not here. I suppose my massage has been cancelled."
"Uh, yeah, you could say that," he shoved his hands into his pockets, reminding her of the guilty little boy he had once been.
"Fine. Buy me a drink and we can talk." She marched past him, hoping she was doing so confidently. Inside, she felt like jelly. He had that effect on her. And, damn, he looked good.
"After you," he mumbled as she sashayed by him.
* * * *
"I'll have a beer," he said, seating himself across from her at the hotel bar. They had chosen an off to the side table that was practically hidden behind a couple of large plants. It was intended to be a secluded spot for couples, but the one seated there today seemed too edgy to have romance in mind.
"White wine," she gave the cute waiter
an award winning smile before turning a soured expression onto Jake.
"You said you have stuff to say," he started.
"Yes, I do. I want to thank you," she held up her hand to quiet his open mouth. "Uh, not until I'm done. As I was saying, I want to thank you for helping me get out of my shell. The past four years have been tough. And you showed me that all I really needed was a good, hot fling."
"A good, hot fling," he repeated, his raised eyebrow indicating his uncertainty.
"Yes. A fling. And the truth about who I am. Jake, I want you to help me find my father. I want to know what's going on here."
"Prove it." Her head shot up at the suggestion.
"Excuse me?"
"I said, prove it. If this is just a fling as you suggest, then prove it."
She laughed. "And how am I supposed to do that?"
"As nature intended," he lowered his voice, sending chills up her arms.
"And how's that?"
"Come over here and I'll show you."
He leaned across the table and gathered her hair in his hand and pulled her toward him. In one gentle motion, he brushed his lips against hers. She tried to fight the moan that was building in her chest, caused by the combination of the touch and the manly smell that assaulted her senses. When he moved away from her and sat back down, she wanted to pull him to her, to deepen the kiss, to give and to take. Mostly to take, she smiled.
"What's that for?"
"What?" she tried to sound casual.
"That smile. I think you liked that kiss."
"You call that a kiss," she let out a little sarcastic laugh.
"Not really. I can do better. Much better. You game?" he raised a wicked eyebrow.
"You want me to sleep with you to prove that you mean nothing to me?"
"That about sums it up."
"Fine," she downed the last of her wine. "We'd better make it quick, though. I'm meeting someone for dinner in two hours," she threw over her shoulder as she stood and started toward her room, leaving him to pay the tab and quickly follow.
Wolf Moon Page 15