by Hamel, B. B.
As I prepared my wittiest and most cutting retort, Lindsey appeared behind the counter.
“Hey, Climber,” she said.
“Linds. What’s up?”
“Nothing.” She looked at me. “You want to come outside? I’m on break for a bit.”
I nodded. “Absolutely.”
“See you around, Climber.”
“Sure,” he grunted, going back to his food.
I stood up and followed Lindsey outside where we sat down on the curb, our backs against the wall. I was feeling pretty grateful for her pulling me away from my conversation with Reid.
“Oh man, my feet are killing me,” she grumbled, pulling a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from her pocket.
“I didn’t know you smoked.”
“Started two years ago. Helps with the stress.” She put one between her lips and lit it, breathing deep. “Want one?”
“No, thanks.”
We sat there for a second in silence as she took another deep drag.
“You and Climber close?” she asked.
“He’s my stepbrother.”
“Oh shit, that’s right. I always forget. What’s it like having him as a stepbrother?”
“I don’t know. It’s fine when he’s not being an asshole.”
She took another drag. “Must be nice though seeing him walking around the house without a shirt.”
It’s even better than you think
.
“We keep out of each other’s way,” I said.
“I bet. He’s a busy guy around here.”
I blinked. “What’s that mean?”
She grinned at me. “You know what I’m talking about.”
“No, I really don’t.”
Her face fell. “Oh. Never mind.”
I narrowed my eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“Just the climbing. Shit like that.” She took another drag.
I looked at her sideways. “Yeah. I mean, he does climb a lot.”
“Anyway, how are things with you?” she asked quickly.
She was being weird, but I had no clue why. What was Reid up to?
“Things are good. I’m home for the summer.”
“You graduate?”
“Yeah, I sure did.”
“Congrats, Becca. That’s amazing.”
“What about you?”
“Oh, the usual. I work here and live over in the apartments with some girls.”
“You have your own place?”
“It’s not the Taj Mahal, but yeah.”
“That’s awesome.”
“Well, it’s mine along with two roommates.”
“Anyone I know?”
“Nah.” She took a drag of her cigarette.
“Still, that’s really cool.”
There was a short silence as we looked across the parking lot together. It was becoming really clear that a lot of time had passed between us. We hardly knew each other anymore. The simplest details about each other’s life were complete mysteries.
“Hey, so, there’s this cool party happening tomorrow night. You want to come?”
“Sure, why not.”
“Reid’ll be there. You can probably get a ride from him.”
I frowned. Great, that was exactly what I needed. Some party with my asshole stepbrother. My sexy as hell stepbrother. My animal stepbrother.
“Okay, cool. That sounds fun.”
“Awesome. Reid knows where.”
“You see him a lot?”
“Not really. I mean, our circles touch sometimes, but only once in a while. His people are a little . . .” she trailed off.
“A little what?”
“Rough. But you didn’t hear that from me, okay?”
I blinked. What did she mean, his people were “rough?” From what I remembered, Reid hung around with a bunch of nice guys. They were popular jocks, and all of them were dumb as bricks, but they were nice enough kids. Nobody got in trouble, least of all Reid.
Did something change? How was I just noticing it?
I opened my mouth to press for more when I caught sight of Reid leaving the Blue with another guy. I nodded in their direction.
“Who’s that?”
Lindsey looked. “That’s Thom. They’re in business together.”
“Business?”
“Yeah. Ask him about it. I don’t really want to get too involved.”
I watched as the two of them climbed into a car and took off, heading farther out of town.
“Anyway,” Lindsey said, stubbing out her cigarette. “I should get back in there, grab some food while I can.”
“Okay.”
We stood up and walked back in. “See you tomorrow?” she asked.
“Definitely.”
She smiled and hurried into the back. I sat back down in my spot and sipped my cold coffee.
My mind was a swirling hurricane of questions. What was Reid doing with a rough crowd, and what kind of business was he involved in? I knew he had been giving his mom and my dad money for the cancer treatments, but he always said that came from his climbing competitions.
Was there something else going on?
With a sigh, I motioned for the check from Marci. When it came, I paid up front and walked outside to my bike.
As I rode home, I kept wondering: what was Reid hiding?
Maybe the party was the perfect place to find out.
Chapter Six: Reid
Early morning sunlight streamed in through my windows as I began to pack my hiking gear. I always carried the same objects, the sort of stuff I would never want to be caught out in the wilderness without. Map, compass, food, and water were the essentials; I also made sure I had a good knife, my tent, extra clothes, sunscreen, matches, a first aid kit, and more. Extra socks were always important, since the rain would undoubtedly soak through whatever I wore.
I told my mom and Jack that I’d be guiding some hunters for the next day or two, trying to get them some deer. I was leaving early the next morning.
And I was a little nervous. I never got nervous for climbs, but trekking across borders with prescription pills always seemed more dangerous to me. Out on the cliff face, I had control. What happened to me was entirely dependent on my own skills and abilities.
But with these smuggling crossings, I was at the mercy of fate. Or whatever controlled the world. If someone stumbled on me sleeping in my tent somewhere that I shouldn’t be, or if they saw me ignoring the border signs, I’d be toast.
So far, I’d been lucky. Aside from that one mishap, my runs had been clean. I crossed at a new spot every time and I was careful. I didn’t take unnecessary risks.
A knock at my door pulled me out of my thoughts. I glanced at the stuff arrayed all over my room and considered hiding it.
“What?” I called out.
“Reid, it’s me.” Becca’s voice.
“Hold on.”
I didn’t have time to put the stuff away. Then again, if I had a legitimate reason for going on the hike, I didn’t have to hide it all from her anyway.
I pulled open the door and Becca was standing there wearing only a thin black T-shirt and short cotton shorts. I looked her up and down and had to admit that she looked fucking amazing. She probably just rolled out of bed, and yet she looked perfect, like she had spent all day getting ready.
“What’s up?” I asked her.
“Nothing. What are you doing?”
“Packing.”
“Very descriptive. Packing for what?”
“I’m doing some guide work tomorrow.”
“Cool. Who you taking?”
“Some hunters. They’re looking for bucks. Big male deer.”
“I know what bucks are. Where’d you find these guys?”
I paused. “What’s with the questions?”
“Nothing,” she said, smiling. “Never mind.”
“I don’t know why, but you look pretty suspicious right now.”
She laughed. “S
orry. It’s just early.”
I grunted. “Is that all you wanted, just saying hi?”
“Oh, no.” She looked a little flustered.
I leaned against the doorframe and crossed my arms. “Start talking or I’m going to pull you in here and make you work for me.”
She blinked, her mouth hanging open. “What?”
“I’ll put you to work packing.”
She quickly caught herself. “Yeah, right. Anyway, I wanted to ask you about the party tonight.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “How did you know about that?”
“Lindsey invited me.”
“You’re really going to hang around with that girl?”
“She’s my friend.”
“She’s a pill head.”
That gave her pause. “What are you talking about?”
“Lindsey is a pill head druggie. Shit, most of the people in this town are.”
“I don’t believe you.”
I clenched my jaw. Typical spoiled college girl, acting like she knew better than me. “You don’t have to.”
“Why would you even say that?”
“Because you don’t need to get involved with people like her.”
“You don’t know anything about what I need.”
“I think you’d be surprised. I’m pretty good at figuring you out, Becca.”
She ignored that comment. “Are you going to the party or not?”
“Yeah, I’m going.”
“Okay. You’re my ride.”
I sighed. “And if I said no?”
“I’ll flush all your clothes down the toilet.”
I laughed. “Very mature.”
“Whatever. Nothing else gets through to you.”
“Fine. I’ll drive you. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
She stared at me for a second. “Thanks.”
“Need anything else?”
“I’ll let you know if I do.” She gave me a look and then turned and walked away.
I snorted. “Be ready by ten,” I called after her.
I shut the door and surveyed the stuff spread across the room. Becca had no clue what she was getting herself into coming to the party at Thom’s cousin’s place. The town had changed a lot since she had left.
Most of the changes weren’t visible. You could walk down the center of town tomorrow and fifty years ago and see almost no difference. But the heart of Ridgewood, its soul, was irrevocably different.
There was more crime. There was more unemployment. Gangs from Canada and California were moving in on the drug trade from across the border.
And I was a part of our lovely town’s slow decline into moral decrepitude. It wasn’t like that fact ever slipped my mind. I hated what I did, hated what I had to do. But I wasn’t about to watch my mom die without at least trying to ease their financial burden.
I didn’t go to high school. I didn’t learn a trade. My only skills involved hiking and climbing mountains really fast. Otherwise, I was useless.
Smuggling was the only thing I could do that really made a difference in our lives. Moral or not, I did it.
Someone else would have if it weren’t me. Plus, it wasn’t like I was selling the drugs or forcing anyone to take them.
At least that was how I justified it. Really, the only thing that helped me sleep at night was the fact that every dime I made went directly to my mom’s medical bills. Every single dime.
I couldn’t have spent that dirty money on myself.
It just felt wrong.
As I put the pack of matches into the front slot of my bag, I looked around my room. It took a few hours, but my bag was packed tight, every important item in its place.
I picked it up and considered the weight. It felt perfect. I didn’t know why I bothered weighing it, if only mentally, since I always packed the same stuff. Still, better safe than sorry. Any extra weight could be killer out there. Extra weight meant extra energy expended, and you needed every bit of energy when you were out in the middle of the deep forest with no hope of rescue.
I put the bag back down and walked into the main house. Jack had left for the mill and Mom was out running errands. I poured myself some coffee and stepped out onto the back porch.
Out among the trees was Becca. She was walking off into the woods. I had no clue where she was going, but it couldn’t have been far since she had no gear.
As I watched her ass move, an old memory suddenly hit me hard.
It was right after our parents got married and we were forced to move in together. I was having a hard time adjusting, or at least that’s what my mom said at the time. I had a climbing event one weekend, just some local thing that I won every year.
I couldn’t remember exactly why, but Jack and my mom forced Becca to come with me. Probably it was supposed to be some extra special bonding time for the new stepsiblings.
Little did they know, though.
She stayed the whole time. I wasn’t sure why, since it must have been so boring for her, but she stayed and watched. I ended up winning again, for the third year in a row, and afterward she came and found me standing by the car.
“That was pretty amazing, Reid,” she said.
“Thanks. It’s no big deal.”
“Seriously. You looked . . .” she trailed off and bit her lip. “You looked awesome,” she finished.
“Thanks,” I said again. “Hey, I’m about to take a little hike, cool down. Want to come with me?”
“Sure. Sounds good.”
I didn’t need to go for a cool down, but for some reason I wanted to spend more time with her. I wasn’t about to tell her that, though.
I led the way and she fell into step next to me. We walked in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the sunshine. I glanced over at her and she smiled.
“Nice day,” I grunted.
“Yeah. Pretty mild.”
“So, are you nervous for college?” I blurted out.
She laughed. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“I’m a little jealous.”
“Of what?”
“Going to college.”
“You could if you wanted to. You’re Climber.”
I laughed at that. “I may be able to climb up mountains, but my grades are shit.”
“Grades aren’t all that matter.”
“Maybe not.”
I caught her looking at me and she smiled. We crested a short hill together and suddenly were looking out over a small valley, trees stretching out as far as we could see.
“This is why I’m nervous to leave,” Becca said softly.
“Hiking?”
“No. This.” She gestured out at the view.
“Good view.”
“Not just that. I mean, the view is good. But there’s something about this place. It’s home to me, you now? I can’t imagine Dartmouth is going to have anything like this.”
“It won’t.”
She looked at me. “Aren’t you supposed to be more reassuring?”
“Sorry, but it’s the truth. Dartmouth won’t be anything like this.”
“Gee, thanks. I feel better already.”
I laughed. “But that’s the point, isn’t it? You don’t want to be like everyone else here, trapped by this stupid town.”
“But it’s home.”
“Anywhere can be home. You have an opportunity most kids in Ridgewood would kill for.”
She was silent for a second. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Would you kill to get out of here?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I guess I already plan on leaving. After I win a few more regional contests, I’ll start competing all over the country.”
“So you’re getting out too, then.”
“Yeah. Eventually.”
“Ridgewood can’t contain us.”
“No, it definitely can’t.”
I set off down the hill, heading into the valley. “Wait up!” Becca called, coming after me.<
br />
“Don’t be so slow,” I said, grinning at her.
As she moved down to walk next to me, she tripped and stumbled slightly on a root. I grabbed her before she could topple down the hill.
“Shit, you okay?” I said.
“Yeah. Fine. Just didn’t see it,” she mumbled.
I could feel her warmth against mine. I was acutely aware of how sweaty I was from the climb, but I also didn’t want to let her go.
“This feels familiar,” I said softly.
“Don’t bring that up.”
“Can’t pretend like it didn’t happen.”
“Yeah, but you promised we’d move past it.”
“I guess I did.”
But the truth was, even back then I didn’t want to move past it. Even back then I wanted to drop down into the dirt with her and slide my tongue between her legs. I wanted to make her back arch until she came in big rolling waves.
But I let her go, and eventually we headed back to the car.
As I came back to the present, I realized that memory stuck with me for two reasons.
First, it was one of only a few times her and I had ever gotten that close. There were a million moments when I’d wanted to reach out and grab her, but only a few when it ever happened. Our stepsibling relationship kept all of that at bay, no matter what I may have felt.
The second was more important, though. It hit me all at once: she had gotten out, but I hadn’t. I planned on touring the country, seeing what there was outside of Ridgewood. Instead, my mom got sick and I got involved with a bunch of fucking gangsters.
I still climbed. I still entered and won competitions. But I hadn’t left.
And I was a little disappointed in myself. If I had to go back, I would do it all over again. I’d sacrifice anything for my family. But there was still that tiny ambitious voice in the back of my mind that wanted to climb with the best.
I watched as Becca disappeared into the early morning mist. The memory hadn’t lasted more than a few seconds, but suddenly I felt tired.
There was only one way I knew how to combat that. I finished my coffee, walked into the garage, and grabbed my climbing gear.
Chapter Seven: Rebecca
I climbed out of the shower, steam curling around the ceiling, and wiped the mirror off. I had spent most of the afternoon walking around the property, reacquainting myself with the woods.
It felt weird at first being alone out there, but I got used to it pretty fast. I had spent most of my life in those woods, and it was really only the last four years that I was away from it.