The Carmel Sheehan Story

by Jean Grainger

  ‘Well, it’s a dramatic way to find out all right, I suppose.’ The taller doctor chuckled. ‘Yes, she’s about six weeks, so its early days, but everything looks fine. Congratulations.’

  When they left, Sharif just sat watching Carmel.

  She was pregnant. He was going to be a father.

  An hour ago, he was afraid he might lose her, and now, here she was, growing their child inside her poor broken body. Six weeks. He knew she was on the pill, but he was trying to think back. Then he remembered the bout of food poisoning—vomiting and diarrhoea could render the contraceptive pill ineffective. That must have been it. He was sure she had no idea. She would have said.

  He rubbed the uninjured side of her head, brushing her hair back off her forehead. The injury to her skull meant the skin was broken, dark blood congealing around her ear. The bruising was extensive; she was going to be very sore for a few weeks, and there would have to be physio to get the range of movement back in her wrist and ankle. But she was alive.

  He kissed her head and held her hand. With his free hand, he texted Joe.

  She’s still sedated. Set her wrist and leg and stitched up her head. The bruising is extensive but she’s ok. Only one visitor today but come on your own and I’ll sneak you in for a second?

  Almost immediately, the response came.

  On my way

  Joe appeared at her bedside ten minutes later, and he held one of her hands while Sharif held the other.

  ‘She’ll probably be out of it for another hour or so,’ Sharif spoke quietly.

  ‘Maybe I’ll let the others get back. We were to check out and move on today, but now we’re probably best off staying put till we know what the situation is.’

  ‘You should all continue, of course,’ Sharif insisted. ‘Carmel is going to be fine. I’ll be with her. You should all go.’

  ‘I don’t know, we’ll see, Sharif. The way things are with your mother and Zeinab is another thing. Nadia has had enough upset. I don’t want any more. But Zeinab has been very nice, trying to be helpful and all of that. I think she is really sorry.’

  Sharif sighed. ‘Nearly losing my wife this morning puts everything into perspective. What Zeinab did was cruel and hurtful, but, I should know this better than most, we never get enough time, we all leave too soon, and there’s not a moment to waste on anger or bitterness. If my mother accepts her apology, we’ll leave it at that. But it’s up to Ammi.’

  They sat in companionable silence as Carmel rested on. She’d get a fright when she woke up, but the injury was all superficial, Sharif could tell. It will take a few months, but she’ll be fine. He watched her. How would she take the pregnancy news? He imagined she would be thrilled. He hadn’t really allowed himself to think about it much, his overriding emotion being relief that she was OK.

  ‘If I hadn’t gone off like that...’ If he’d stayed, she would have been in bed with him, not running around Westport.

  Joe sighed. ‘Did you ever hear the phrase, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride? You were looking out for your mam. Nobody could have predicted this.’

  Sharif nodded.

  ‘Now, I’d better get back to the others, though, to be honest I’d rather stay here, just to be 100 percent sure. But you’ll look after her, I suppose, and poor old Nadia will need a bit of back up.’ Joe rose from his seat and bent to kiss Carmel’s head gently. ‘I’ll be back later on, pet, and Sharif is staying here. You’ll be fine, darling, don’t you worry. We’re all looking after you.’

  Sharif stood.

  ‘Let me know when she wakes, OK?’

  ‘I will. And thanks for taking care of my mother. She’s very fragile right now.’

  Joe smiled. ‘I know, and she got an awful blow, but she’s a tough old bird your mam. She’ll be fine.’

  Sharif chuckled. ‘I’m not sure she’d be happy to be described as a tough old bird.’

  ‘Ah, Nadia knows I’m only joking. Sure, I’m fierce fond of her.’ Joe felt in his pockets for his keys. As he turned to go, Sharif heard himself say,

  ‘Are you?’

  ‘Am I what?’ Joe replied.

  ‘Fond of Ammi?’ Sharif looked directly at his father-in-law.

  Joe coloured slightly, uncomfortable with the turn the conversation had taken. ‘Well, I...’

  ‘All I’m saying,’ Sharif interrupted, ‘is if you do like her, as more than a friend, Carmel and I are happy for you.’ Suddenly life was so precious, every single minute, because you never knew what was around the corner. ‘And I think Ammi might feel the same way,’ he added. ‘If you don’t, no harm done, and we won’t talk about this again. But I just wanted to give you a bit of an edge. We men so rarely have that when dealing with the fairer sex, don’t we?’

  Joe blustered. ‘Well, I don’t know about that... Sure, we’re a bit old for all of that stuff now and ... Well, sure... Anyway, I better get going, and you’ll give me a shout when Carmel wakes, right?’

  ‘Of course.’ Sharif smiled and went back to his wife. After an hour of just sitting there, his thoughts racing, trying to rationalise the last few days, Carmel’s consultant appeared on his rounds.

  ‘Good afternoon. I’m Donnacha O’Halloran. Your wife is under my care.’

  Sharif stood and shook his hand. ‘Sharif Khan. Thanks for all you have done for her. If you hadn’t worked so quickly to stem the bleeding...’

  ‘Well, it was the paramedic really. She was in bad shape coming in to us, but if it weren’t for them, she’d be a lot worse. The nurse on duty tells me you’re an oncologist?’ He checked the chart hanging on the end of Carmel’s bed as they spoke.

  ‘Yes, I—well, we actually, Carmel and I and my mother—run a hospice in London.’

  The doctor checked Carmel’s vital signs and her IV line. He briefly gave Sharif the update of her progress, and as he did, Carmel’s eyelids fluttered.

  They both turned, and Sharif went straight to her.

  ‘Sha... Sharif,’ she managed, her voice raspy.

  He held a Styrofoam cup of water to her dry lips, and she sipped and swallowed. Her eyes closed again.

  ‘It’s fine, Carmel, I’m here. Just go back to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.’

  Chapter 27

  The other doctor left, and Sharif just held her hand. Over the next twenty minutes, she regained consciousness.

  Eventually, she made another attempt to speak.

  ‘My head hurts. What happened to me?’

  ‘You were knocked down, my love, but the ambulance came quickly and you’re going to be fine,’ he soothed. ‘A bit sore, but apart from a broken arm and a broken leg, you’re OK.’

  ‘Everything hurts,’ she croaked.

  ‘I know, my love. You got a few nasty cuts and bruises, so that’s why you feel so sore, but now you’re awake we can get your meds regulated to manage the pain.’

  ‘OK.’ She sighed and seemed content to drift back to sleep.

  As she dosed, half in and half out of consciousness, Sharif texted Joe.

  She’s awake and talking, but very tired. If you’re coming back I’d say give her another hour at least.

  Joe messaged back instantly.

  What a relief. See you later.

  The next time Carmel woke, Sharif called the nurse, who administered some painkillers, and within twenty minutes, Carmel was much more alert and seemed comfortable enough.

  ‘Carmel, I’m so sorry,’ Sharif said. ‘I should not have gone off like that. I feel so guilty. This is my fault...’ He knew he shouldn’t be laying this heavy stuff on her so soon after her surgery, but he needed her to know how sorry he was.

  ‘It’s OK,’ she whispered and swallowed. He offered her some more water, and she smiled weakly.

  ‘I love you. So much. When I thought it was worse, Carmel, I...’ His voice cracked.

  ‘You won’t get rid of me that easy.’ She smiled again and added, ‘Can you help me sit up a bit? My back is sore.’

  ‘Of c
ourse.’ He lifted her gently, making sure her leg wasn’t dragged, and though she winced in pain, she relaxed back against the cushions. She put her hand to her face.

  ‘My face feels all...I don’t know…puffy or something.’

  He gently removed her hand from the worst of the bruising. ‘I know, and you have a bit of bruising and swelling to your face, but it will go down in a few weeks. You’ll look a bit colourful for a while though.’ He smiled and kissed her palm as he placed her hand back beside her hip.

  ‘Oh God, do I look desperate?’ she groaned.

  ‘You look gorgeous, and what’s more, you look alive. At this moment in time, that is all that matters to me.’

  She grimaced. ‘I don’t feel very gorgeous, I can tell you.’

  He was sure she didn’t know about the baby. She would have asked about it first if she did. ‘Carmel.’

  He paused, and she turned her head slowly, the pain registering on her face. ‘What?’

  ‘When they brought you in, they did a scan to check for internal injuries, and in the course of that, they discovered something.’

  What bit of colour she’d had drained from her face. She swallowed and winced.

  ‘Tell me. Don’t drag it out, just say it. Is it bad?’

  ‘No.’ He smiled. ‘it’s very good. You’re pregnant, six weeks roughly, and the baby is fine. Heartbeat is strong, and the accident didn’t do any damage to him or her.’

  Carmel said nothing. She just stared at him.

  ‘Are you OK? This is great, isn’t it?’

  She nodded. Her good hand went to her abdomen and rested there. ‘Are they sure? That everything is OK?’ Tears slid from her eyes. Could what he was telling her possibly be true?

  ‘Yes, everything is fine. Our little prince or princess is cosy and happy in there.’ He placed his hand on top of hers.

  ‘And you’re happy? Like really, not just saying it because you think it’s what I want?’

  Sharif held her good hand in both of his and leaned close to her, his face only inches from hers.

  ‘I’m going to be honest. I wasn’t sure, even when I said we’d try. I was partly doing it to please you. If you’d said you never wanted kids, then that would have suited me fine. But now, knowing our son or daughter exists, Carmel...’ He swallowed, trying to get the words out. ‘All the time you were sedated, I just sat here, knowing, imagining what he or she will be like, what they’ll look like, sound like. What it will feel like to have someone call me Abba...’

  ‘Like the Swedish pop group?’ She chuckled but stopped instantly—it hurt to laugh.

  He grinned. ‘No, it’s Urdu for Da-’

  ‘I know, you eejit, I’m only messing.’ She smiled on her good side then sighed. ‘I can’t believe it. We’re going to have a baby. I’m going to be a mammy, like some person is going to call me that. Mammy and Abba. The poor kid will be culturally confused.’

  ‘We can send them to an Islamic school taught through Irish maybe?’

  She laughed. ‘Stop. You can’t make me laugh!’ She groaned again. ‘I feel like I’ve gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson. Every bit of me hurts.’

  ‘OK. Misery and tragedy from now on, I promise.’

  ‘Stop it I said!’ She tried not to laugh.

  ‘OK… OK. I don’t want Dr O’Halloran throwing me out for distressing his patient. Are you sleepy? Will I let you rest? I can just sit here, and you sleep if you want to.’

  ‘No, I don’t feel sleepy. Sore and a bit groggy still, but I’ve slept enough. Can we talk about the baby? I just can’t believe it. I never thought for a second that it could really happen for me. Having someone of my own, like, I know I have you and Joe and all the family, but a baby, my own child...’ She was still trying to make it a reality in her head.

  ‘Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?’ Sharif asked.

  ‘A girl.’ Her answer was instant and definite.

  ‘You sound sure.’

  ‘I don’t know why, but I do, I think it’s a girl. What will we call her?’

  ‘Isn’t it obvious? There’s only one name our daughter could have.’

  ‘Dolly Khan. I like it.’

  Sharif leaned over and gently kissed her abdomen. ‘Hello in there, little Dolly. This is your abba, and I love you already, so very much. So be a good little girl and grow healthy and strong, and your mammy and I will be waiting to meet you next spring.’

  Carmel rubbed his head with her good hand as he spoke to their baby. ‘How... I’m amazed. I was taking the pill until recently...’

  ‘I think that dodgy sushi is what we have to thank. You were throwing up for days, and that interrupts the effectiveness of any drugs in the system.’

  Moments later, the porter arrived with a senior staff nurse.

  ‘We’re going to take you to the ward now, Carmel. You’ll be with us for a few days, just till we can be sure everything is healing properly, OK?’ The nurse was already preparing the bed for transport.

  ‘I don’t think I can get up...’ Carmel started to panic.

  ‘No, we won’t be getting you up at all,’ the nurse explained. ‘We’ll wheel the bed up and leave you in it. Now, if your husband could just move out of my way? She remarked pointedly. He stepped inot the corner of the small room made a face behind her back, which made Carmel giggle.

  Thankfully, a private room was available, and she was soon settled in.

  ‘Is my phone dead?’ Carmel asked.

  ‘I’m afraid so, but I’ll get you a new one just as soon as I can.’

  ‘No, it’s OK, I just wanted to text Jen to maybe get some of my things, pyjamas, toothbrush, stuff like that.’ She leaned back on the pillows again. The effort of moving exhausted her.

  ‘Don’t worry, she’s already on it,’ Sharif told her. ‘I’m sure they’re on the way back here now.’ He could see her eyelids drooping once more. ‘Go to sleep now, and I’ll just wait here, OK?’

  ‘OK...’ And within a moment, she was asleep again.

  Relief flooded Sharif’s mind and body. It felt like he’d been on a knife edge for months. Was that business with Zeinab only last night? It felt like a lifetime ago. Carmel was OK, and they were having a baby.

  He dozed in the hard chair and only woke when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

  ‘Ammi.’ He woke to find Nadia and Joe in the room. Nadia was carrying Carmel’s smaller suitcase.

  ‘How is she?’ Nadia asked, her face registering shock at how battered Carmel looked.

  ‘It looks worse than it is,’ Sharif assured her. ‘She’s going to be fine. A fractured skull, ulna and tibia, a deep gash on her head… She has some dissolving stitches there, and some soft tissue damage to her face and chest. But nothing she won’t recover from with love and care.’

  ‘Oh, Sharif, thank goodness she is alive. I...’Tears came to Nadia’s eyes for the first time since they’d heard the news.

  Carmel’s eyes opened. ‘Hi, guys,’ she said weakly.

  ‘Hello, my darling girl, it’s so good to see you awake.’ Joe held her hand and kissed her forehead.

  Carmel saw Nadia was crying. ‘Ah, Nadia, I’m grand...honestly... I’ll be fine.’

  Sharif was about to put his arm around his mother, to comfort her, but he noticed Joe got there first. He also noticed how his mother relaxed into the man’s embrace. Surely, Joe hadn’t taken him at his word that quickly.

  His face must have registered some confusion.

  ‘Are we missing something here?’ Carmel asked straight out, trying not to smile.

  Joe looked from Sharif to Carmel and then down at Nadia.

  ‘Well, I suppose we have to come clean sometime.’

  Chapter 28

  Nadia looked sheepish, but she explained. ‘Darling Sharif, Joe told me what you said this morning, and I’m sorry for not being honest earlier, but we were worried how you and Carmel would take it. Jennifer and Luke too, but… Joe and I, well, we have been seeing each other a bit...’
<
br />   Joe helped her out, his arm still firmly around her. ‘We liked each other for ages, since the very start, if I’m honest, and we’ve gone out to dinner a few times. We talk on the phone most days, but as Nadia said, it was a bit weird. Not the dates, they were lovely, but just the whole setup. And so we thought maybe it would be better to be friends and that, but, eh... Well, we didn’t manage that so well. So when you said what you said this morning, Sharif, that you and Carmel had discussed it, and that ye were OK with it...’

  ‘Joe came back and told me,’ Nadia continued for him. ‘And, well, I hope you meant it and that you spoke for Carmel too?’

  ‘So you two have been together for ages? Is that what you’re telling us?’ Carmel was stunned. They were a pair of dark horses.

  ‘But how could we not know?’ Sharif was equally perplexed. ‘Whenever you come over Joe, you stay with us, and Ammi, you’ve only been away for those weekends on the yoga retreats... Ammi, those were yoga retreats, weren’t they?’ Sharif seemed genuinely shocked.

  This time, Joe and Nadia really did look like teenagers caught getting amorous on the couch by early returning parents.

  ‘I don’t know, Sharif, the elderly of today, there’s no dealing with them,’ Carmel teased. ‘Sex mad. I blame the kids myself, or maybe it’s the vitamins they all take now. Has them like goats in spring.’

  ‘Stop that talk you! Respect you elders!’ Joe chuckled but then grew serious, worried. ‘Are you sure ye are OK, though, seriously?’

  ‘Of course we are, you silly man! We’re thrilled for both of you. And now we can all go on one of those trashy shows on daytime telly now—Long-Lost Irish Dad in Romp with Paki Mother-in-Law. I can just see the headlines.’ She giggled again and immediately winced with pain.

  ‘Hey, less of the romping images if you don’t mind, please.’ Sharif shuddered with mock horror. ‘That’s my mother we’re talking about, and she does not romp.’

  ‘Indeed,’ Joe said sincerely. ‘She’s a perfect lady, and she means a lot to me.’

  ‘Does anyone else know?’ Carmel was fascinated at how they kept it secret for so long. Nadia had been going to so-called yoga retreats for months.