When had he fallen for Camille? And how? One minute he’d absolutely detested her and couldn’t stand having her around. The next he couldn’t imagine living another day without her. His strong feelings had blindsided him. If he would have seen the change coming he could have fought against it before these softer emotions invaded his heart. Now he was faced with the prospect of loving and losing another woman. Hell, he’d already lost her. She was going back to New York. The only thing left was the inevitable pain.
“Can’t sleep?”
The quiet voice came from behind him and he turned, wondering if he’d conjured her just by thinking about her. Dressed in one of his T-shirts that hit her midthigh and left very little to the imagination, Camille looked sweet and sexy, a contradiction that was totally her. She took a step forward on bare feet, and her now-familiar fragrance teased his nostrils, propelling him out of the chair and in her direction until they stood only inches apart. His eyes caressed her face in the way his hands ached to.
“What are you doing up at this hour?” he asked.
“I’m too restless to sleep. I can’t shut off my mind, you know?”
“You must be pretty excited about going home.”
She shrugged, and he hoped that was a sign that she was torn about leaving him. “It feels good not to be hunted.”
“I can imagine.”
“I wanted to talk to you about leaving.” She gave him an uncertain smile, suddenly seeming shy. He couldn’t imagine why. She had her own car and could leave whenever she wanted. He’d removed it from the shed while she’d been on the phone with her family. He’d even driven to a gas station and filled the tank for her. He hated doing that, but he wanted to be sure she was safe.
“Shoot.”
Instead of answering, she sat at the table in what he had come to think of as her chair. It faced the window and had a perfect view of the Double J. At least it did in the daytime. Now the buildings were colorless shadows in the moonlight.
“I need to stay a couple more days.”
“Why?” In an effort to cover his hope, his voice sounded harsh. Almost angry. She flinched, and guilt smacked him upside his head. He didn’t want to turn his heartache into her pain.
“I must have sounded shaky on the phone. I tried, but I couldn’t keep from crying. Rodney insisted on flying down here so he can drive back with me. The first flight he could get is for the day after tomorrow.” She twisted her hands together, then placed them in her lap. “I hope that’s okay. Nothing I said could convince him not to come.”
Jericho tried to recall Camille’s brother. He drew a blank, unable to picture the man who had been engaged to Jeanette before Jericho had swooped in and whisked her away to Las Vegas. The other man probably hated him, but Jericho admired Rodney for putting his feelings aside out of his concern for his sister. “That’s fine. I didn’t expect you to leave right away. You’re welcome to stay as long as you want.”
“Really?” Camille’s eyes lit up, and despite her being off-limits now, he was filled with heated desire for her.
“Yes. You should get some rest. Morning will be here before you know it.”
Standing, she reached for his hand. “You need to sleep, too. Maybe we can help each other.”
He wanted to take her hand and all that she offered, but wouldn’t. “That’s not a good idea.”
Her smile wavered, but she didn’t leave. “I think it is.”
“Camille,” he started, then stopped when he couldn’t think of an argument. He wanted her.
“No more talking.” She took his hand and led him back upstairs.
* * *
Camille folded the last shirt and placed it in the shopping bag with her other belongings. First thing this morning she’d laundered the sheets and returned them to the linen closet. Despite Jericho’s telling her not to bother, she’d cleaned the room, mopping and dusting until the room could pass the white-glove test. She’d even washed the windows. Looking around, she tried to keep her emotions in check. Still, when her eyes landed on the mattress, memories of the past nights spent in Jericho’s arms bombarded her and her knees weakened. She hadn’t held back anything, showing him with her body all the love she held in her heart. The words had nearly burst from her lips, but she’d caught them in time. This was goodbye. No good could come from letting Jericho know how she felt. After all, he hadn’t asked her to stay.
She heard a car arriving outside, which meant her time on the Double J was coming to an end. Grabbing the bag, she looked around and said a final farewell to the room that had sheltered her, then headed downstairs. She’d last seen Jericho at breakfast before he’d gone to the barn to care for the horses. She ached to see him one last time. Today was an ordinary day for him, so she had let him go despite the fact that she’d longed to spend every last moment with him.
Not knowing what to expect, she hurried into the living room, where the men were eyeing each other.
“Rodney,” she exclaimed, rushing to give her brother a hug.
He pulled her into his arms and lifted her into the air. He held her a long time before setting her on her feet. “I was so worried about you. I almost lost it when I heard you were missing.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I just didn’t know what else to do.” Tears filled her eyes, and she blinked them back. “I wanted to let you know I was okay, but I was afraid I’d put everyone in danger.”
He hugged her again. “I’m just glad that you’re safe.”
“Thanks to Jericho.” She glanced over at him and smiled tentatively. He was standing there, his face expressionless.
“Are you ready to go?” Rodney asked, ignoring Jericho. Clearly he didn’t want to be in this house one second more than absolutely necessary. She understood why he felt that way, but she wished there could be peace between the men. Rodney had never gotten over losing Jeanette and he resented Jericho bitterly, so she might as well be wishing for world peace.
“Before you leave, I have something I need to say.” Jericho stepped in front of her brother and blocked his path. “I want to apologize for what happened with Jeanette. Not for loving her. I’ll never regret that or the life we had together. But I could have handled things differently. I should have been the one to talk to you. Not Jeanette. Maybe I should have waited to marry her until you had time to...I don’t know...get over her. Adjust to losing her.” Jericho’s voice softened. “But I loved her and couldn’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her. Still, I’m sorry for causing you pain. Having lost her myself, I know what you felt. And for that I am sorry.”
Camille kept her face serene even as his words broke her heart. He’d loved Jeanette so desperately he couldn’t maintain his usual code of conduct because he couldn’t wait to make Jeanette his wife. And yet he was letting Camille leave without a word of protest. He was just standing there with his hand outstretched to her brother, waiting to see if Rodney would return his handshake. Apparently she was already forgotten.
“I will never forgive you for Jeanette,” Rodney said, his voice hard and raised with anger. He exhaled, then spoke more quietly. “But I am grateful to you for keeping Camille safe.” He shook Jericho’s hand briefly and walked out the door.
Camille watched her brother leave, then turned back to Jericho. Even though he was close enough for her to feel the heat radiating from his body and smell the slight scent of hay and fresh air that clung to him, he felt miles away from her. The T-shirt and jeans were such a part of him she’d never be able to see another man dressed that way without thinking of him. Not that she would need reminders.
She met his eyes. They were filled with concern.
“Are you going to be all right?” he asked, reaching out a hand and touching her cheek.
“Of course.” A broken heart could still pump blood.
He frowned. Just what did he expect her to say? That she loved him a
nd wanted him to ask her to stay? That she wished he could love her the way he’d loved Jeanette? That it was tearing her apart to leave him? She couldn’t beg. Wouldn’t beg. She wouldn’t put either of them through that awkwardness.
“Call me when you get home?” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Time ran out before we had a chance to talk.”
Her throat tightened, and she nodded. “I will.” Her vision blurred as tears filled her eyes. She hugged him tight, knowing it would be the last time, and whispered, “Thank you for being my prince.”
* * *
“Are you ready to tell me what happened between you and Jones?” Rodney had stayed in New York for a week to make sure Camille was okay. He’d even accompanied her to her interview with the FBI. His presence hadn’t been necessary but was comforting nonetheless. He was returning to Chicago this afternoon, so he and Camille were having a farewell breakfast at a restaurant not far from her condo. Rodney hadn’t mentioned Jericho once during the past seven days, and she thought she’d be able to avoid this conversation. Apparently not.
Camille stopped stirring her coffee and took a sip, stalling for time. She grimaced and forced it down. How much sugar had she put in there? If the several empty sugar packets scattered across the table were any indication, her teeth would rot in her head if she finished the cup.
“What do you mean?” she finally responded.
Rodney shook his head, and one corner of his mouth lifted in what for him passed as a smile. Leaning back in his chair, he crossed his arms to wait her out, a skill he’d mastered when they were kids. Unfortunately for her, he hadn’t lost his touch.
He’d been the holder of her secrets for as long as she could remember, never judging her. She’d always trusted him with her innermost thoughts. But how could she tell him about her relationship with Jericho when Jericho had caused him so much pain? What she and Jericho had shared was over, so there was no point to it.
Still, she could never lie to Rodney, so she settled on an answer that was the truth if not the whole story. “He was there when I needed him. I showed up on his doorstep and he took me in.”
“I don’t understand. What made you go to him? Considering everything he’s done he should be the last person you would turn to for help.” Unspoken was Rodney’s belief that she should have come to him—her big brother—no matter the trouble she would be bringing to his front door.
“That was the point. I was hiding. He was not in my life and no one would look for me there.”
“And now? If the looks I saw pass between you mean anything, he’s a part of your life now. You looked pretty close.”
Not sure how to answer, Camille stalled, opening another packet of sugar and pouring it into her coffee. “We spent a lot of time together. How could we not? So, sure, we became closer than we were. It would have been impossible not to.”
Rodney breathed deeply through his nose. A lawyer, he always knew when he wasn’t getting a straight answer. Like now. “Camille, you don’t have to protect me, so don’t worry about hurting my feelings. Tell me the truth. I can handle it.”
To her horror her eyes filled with tears, and she squeezed them shut. She didn’t want him to see her cry. A painful lump the size of a city bus materialized in her throat, and for a moment she feared she would lose the battle and bawl all over the place. She felt her brother squeeze her hand. She expelled the breath that was caught in her lungs and managed to whisper, “I fell in love with him.”
Rodney was silent so long she wondered if she’d angered or hurt him. He couldn’t have expected to hear that. But he was still holding her hand. That was so Rodney. He would support her no matter how badly she hurt him.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured.
“Don’t be.”
“But you’re my brother.”
“Exactly. Nothing can ever change that.” He sighed. “Love is a precious gift. Don’t walk away from it because of me.”
Now, that wasn’t like her brother. She couldn’t remember his ever speaking so sensitively before. Like such an evolved male. Laughter bubbled up inside her, and despite her tears she let the laughter flow. She was a mess. “I don’t know how it happened. I hated him for so many years for what he did to you. Then when I needed him he was there, ready and willing to protect me. Over time I discovered he wasn’t the horrible selfish person I thought he was.”
“He has to have some good qualities if both you and Jeanette fell for him.”
“You aren’t angry with me?”
He shrugged. “Why would I be? You can’t control your feelings.”
“Still. I feel disloyal.”
“Don’t.” He sipped his coffee. She met his eyes, seeing understanding and unconditional love there.
Overwhelmed by her brother’s generosity, she looked away. Needing something to diffuse her emotions, she lifted her cup. Just in time she remembered her coffee was undrinkable and set it back on the saucer. She fumbled through her purse, found a tissue, blotted her tears and swiped at her nose. She gathered herself while he signaled the waitress and requested a fresh cup of coffee for her.
After taking a sip of the strong brew, she leaned against the back of her chair.
“Better?” Rodney asked.
She knew he wasn’t just talking about the coffee. “Much.”
“So what do you plan to do now?”
“Return to work. What else can I do?” As soon as she got over her fear of going into that building. Even thinking of stepping inside her office made her heart race and caused her to break into a cold sweat. The morning after she’d arrived in New York, she’d dressed for work, then sat on her bed for two hours before calling the office and requesting three months leave. Given the circumstances, the partners agreed, offering to keep her position open indefinitely. And they were willing to discuss a financial settlement if she chose not to return.
“That’s it? You tell me you’re in love with him and that you’re going back to work?”
“Yep.” She swallowed more coffee, then turned defiant eyes to him. “There’s nothing more to do. What we had is over.”
“I didn’t get that feeling while I was there. You can deny it, but there’s unfinished business between the two of you.”
She’d thought the same thing, too. As she’d promised, she called Jericho as soon as she’d first stepped inside her apartment. He’d been cordial, but that had been it. He hadn’t asked her to call again, nor had he done so himself. Seven days of silence spoke more emphatically than words of rejection ever could. She hadn’t expected that from Jericho. Men had disappointed her in the past and she had survived. She would steel her heart so she wouldn’t be disappointed again.
“He’s not over Jeanette.”
Rodney’s eyes narrowed. Camille hated bringing up Jeanette because she knew how much it hurt him to think of his former fiancée. Then his lips lifted in a small smile. “It didn’t look like that to me.”
Camille stomped on the hope that made her heart leap. Still her voice cracked. “It didn’t?”
“No. I think he’s put Jeanette in the past.”
“Have you?”
“Different situation. Besides, we’re talking about you and Jericho. Because you’re my sister, I’m going to give you some unsolicited advice and waive my hourly fee. If you love him, fight for him. Don’t let that Parker pride get in the way.”
Camille nodded. It wasn’t pride that was stopping her. It was fear of rejection. Could her heart take hearing the words I don’t love you?
Chapter Eighteen
The knock on the door startled Camille. The doorman hadn’t announced anyone, so it had to be one of her neighbors, which was odd because they didn’t know each other that well. Sure, she nodded hello to Amy Nelson when they met in the elevator. And she always smiled as Mrs. Lewis spoke to her a little too loudly. The widow could never
remember to wear her hearing aid, but she never forgot to show Camille the latest pictures of her grandkids on the iPhone she had somehow mastered. But Camille didn’t have the type of relationship with either of them where they would show up at her door unannounced.
The knock came again, more insistently this time.
“Coming,” she called at the third knock. Reaching the door, she peered out the peephole to see who was so impatient to see her.
Jericho.
Her knees went weak and she wobbled, stumbling against the entry table and nearly upsetting a vase of flowers.
She straightened the vase, then caught a glimpse of herself in the hall mirror. She hadn’t planned on going out so she hadn’t bothered with makeup. She was wearing her most comfortable clothes that she absolutely never let anyone see her in. And now Jericho was standing outside her door.
“Come on, Camille. I can hear you moving around. I know you’re in there.”
She looked down at her cowboy boots that she now wore with everything. Naturally they would make noise on her hardwood floors.
She raised her hand to run it through her hair, then thought better of it. He’d seen her at her worst. Besides, there was nothing she could do in a couple of seconds that would improve her appearance. She swung open the door and stepped aside, allowing him to come in.
He entered and closed the door behind him. Suddenly the spacious foyer shrank to the size of the empty ice cream container sitting on her kitchen counter. Her eyes were drawn to his broad shoulders. Then she met his deep and searching gaze. She longed to be wrapped in his strong arms and held against his strong chest. Angry at herself for still wanting him, she pushed away that desire.
She turned, intending to lead him into the living room, when he placed a hand on her arm, stopping her. The warmth of his fingers made her stomach jittery, and she was suddenly unable to move.
The Rancher and the City Girl Page 17