by M. R. Polish
I cried out. Afraid to focus any harder, I could feel myself backing away, loosening my grip on the rope—and possibly my sanity. This was ridiculous. How was I supposed to help her like this?
“Hold on to it—for as long as you can. At first, entering someone’s mind can be hard, even painful, but you can do it.”
I fell from the bed onto my knees with my eyes still squeezed shut. I could feel Jarak’s arms go around me, letting me know he hadn’t left me. Mentally, I grasped at the rope that now tugged from all over and not just my stomach. The fiery pain of sorrow, aching, and torture from his thoughts shot through me again like a flaming arrow. Visions of harmful situations of his past flashed before my eyes, the anguish of what I’d seen flooded my mind. Emptiness overwhelmed me, and I felt alone. A woman who looked a lot like Victor only much younger filled my vision.
She was curled in a ball in the corner of a dark room. Her cries pulled at my heart. She looked up at me with tears spilling over her cheeks. Her pain was evident and I wanted to make things better for her. Raising a hand toward me, she pleaded for help. Instantly, I knew she was the reason Victor needed my help.
“That’s enough.” Darkness overwhelmed me, breaking me free from the pain.
I opened my eyes, looking up at Victor. For the first time, I had compassion for him. I saw what he’d been through, or at least some of it and I ached for him. And, whoever the girl was in his thoughts was special to him.
“Why did you stop me?”
He looked away. “I live with that pain, and there is no reason for you to have it too. There are things I didn’t think you’d be able to see for your first time. You’re much stronger than I anticipated.”
“Do you really feel that bad, all the time?” I pushed myself up from the floor with Jarak’s help, reclaiming my spot on the side of the bed. It was more difficult than I expected. My muscles were weak from the small test. I might as well have been trying to climb Mount Everest for as much work as I had to do to achieve this small goal. Thank goodness for Jarak or I’d never have made it back up.
“No, you took the raw emotion of pain, and it combined with my whole life’s worth of grief. You’re new. It takes a lot out of you, and until you get used to it and learn how to draw from elements around you, you will weaken fast. Where you just went into my core, is the same place you’ll have to go to fill in the dark spell of turning over.”
“How do I un-weaken? She needs me.” With a loud sigh I let my shoulders fall. I shouldn’t have wasted so much of my energy when they were ready to end—or was it start?— Meadow’s turning process.
“Rest, and use the elements around you to soak up the energy.”
“Well, Trevor and Ree will be here any moment, and I want to help.”
He shook his head. “Just rest, and when the bad pain comes, that’s when you jump in.”
I nodded and crossed my arms. “Is it dangerous? I mean, are there any side affects?”
“If you don’t stop when you’ve had enough, the pain will stick to your mind, making you think it’s real, and it’s hard to break free. If your mind doesn’t break free—you could die.” He didn’t look at me.
Those last words left me shaken, and a shiver ran down the full length of my body. It wouldn’t be that bad, would it? Surely I wouldn’t die. I just lived through Victor’s excruciating pain.
My hand flew to my head, where I could still feel the pulsating ache from the infernal scorching I took from him. A serious headache was worth helping her. Wasn’t it?
Nine
Jarak
D own in the dining room, we decided to wait for the vampires to finish their evening meal. Trevor was taking longer than Ree thought. Maybe that was a good thing? He didn’t want to have any hunger when trying to turn Meadow.
It was hard to see the worry on Es’s face. Meadow would become one of them soon, and I knew Es was worried. Although, I was more worried about Esmerelda. After hearing she could die doing this, I took it upon myself to try to talk her out of it. I still needed her, as selfish as that was. And then, there was the way I felt around her. It was enough to confuse me.
“You can’t do this.” I ran my hands through my hair, leaning back, feeling my back thump against the wall.
“Yes I can.” Es looked up at me from the dining table chair where she planted herself. “You were trying to talk me into it earlier, why the sudden change now?”
I strode closer to her. “How am I supposed to protect you? I have no magic to intervene.” I slammed my fist down on the table.
She jumped, making me feel terrible about my actions.
“I’ll be okay.” She crossed her arms in front of her.
I wasn’t sure why I cared so much. Other than the contract I had when Victor hired me to protect her, a part of her was attached to my past in ways that she didn’t know. In ways she couldn’t know, at least not yet. Was that my personal attachment? I never let myself become emotionally involved with someone I guarded before. It’d been a long time since I let myself open up to possibilities to what I thought could happen.
As twisted as it sounded, I found myself silently hoping there would be a time where it could just be her and me. No guarding, no protecting, just real life. Who was I kidding? Life would never be boring with her around. Too many people wanted her. And then, there was my brother. When he found out she was alive and with me, my time alone with her would be gone. But he didn’t know. Not yet.
I couldn’t believe she wanted to sacrifice herself for a turning vampire. Not even one who claimed to be her mother all these years. Meadow kidnapped her for crying out loud.
Vampires and Guardians had never gotten along for extended periods. The time I’d been here was the longest I personally ever stayed around one. Guardians protected lives, and the dark creatures took them, we were the exact opposites. I could feel my wolf growling inside me. He was just as upset about being around them as I was.
“Relax, Maztic.” I said it to him in my mind, but it was more for myself.
Taking a deep breath, I sighed and slumped down in the chair next to her. “Why?”
Her lip quivered. I could tell she was on the verge of crying. “Wouldn’t you do the same?”
“Why did you answer my question with a question? Besides, she’s not really your mom.” I thought for a moment about how I would feel if we reversed roles. I didn’t talk to my family, or what was left of it anyway, but I’m sure I’d try to help them too. I didn’t like that she had a legitimate reason.
Es tensed up. “No, but she raised me. It’s weird. I still owe her something. Stop trying to make this harder on me than it already is.”
“They stole you away from your parents when you were a baby. You don’t owe them anything,” I growled.
“Now’s not the time. They’re almost ready to start. Trevor came back from replenishing.” Es ignored my last comment, but the tremble in her voice gave away her fear.
I stood up and offered my hand to her. “I’ll walk you up.” I needed to be close to her, there was no way I could let her go by herself. All the while wishing there was something I could do to stop her.
She drew her lips together before nodding her head and reaching up to take my hand. Her hand felt so perfect in mine.
What was I thinking? I couldn’t fall for her.
She was just supposed to be someone I protected. Someone who could help me.
Besides, I wasn’t nearly good enough for her. And she was technically already taken—even if she didn’t know it.
I wanted to reach out and brush her hair away from her eyes, but I stopped myself. Every time I was around her, she stirred a deep feeling inside of me, and I wanted, needed, to be closer to her. My body ached to be with her at all times; just being in the same house didn’t cut it. It was a dangerous feeling.
Placing my hand at the small of her back, I led her to the stairs. At least I could be there for her, and I’d protect her at every cost. I could do that. I would be h
er Guardian until I died protecting her.
Esmerelda
Stopping near the doorway, I scanned Meadow’s room. Trevor and Ree both sat in the corner with their eyes closed, meditating. I assumed they were summoning the strength to accomplish the task, but then again they could be gathering strength not to drink me, too.
Victor sat beside the bed, resting his elbows on the soft mattress, his face buried in his hands. I wondered at what pain he was going through, his face contorted in agonizing scrunches. Was he already helping Meadow with the hurt she already had?
The curtains were open, filling the room with the first yellow streaks of the early morning sunlight. I could feel a hand on my lower back, guiding me further into the room. It comforted me to know Jarak was with me, my personal bodyguard. I let him guide me to where Meadow lay near death, because there was no way I could have moved on my own.
I gave my best try at a smile, seeing that her eyes were open and centered on me.
“I’m so happy.” The weakness in her voice made me cringe. My heart ached over seeing her this way. Her sunk-in chest rose slowly with a labored, jagged effort. Tears welled in my eyes. I picked up her hand, keeping my touch and grasp light so I wouldn’t hurt her.
“I’m happy too,” I lied. What else could I tell my dying mother?
I glanced over at Victor. He still sat motionless. I reached out in my mind for his energy that connected us as he taught me earlier, but it was blocked, and I was still too new at this to try and push through.
Ree was at my side before I knew she moved from her seat in the corner. Her hand rested on my shoulder. “Are you sure you can help her?”
I nodded, biting my lips to keep from screaming, ‘No!’
Another blur and Trevor stood beside Victor, on the other side of the bed.
The arm around my waist tightened. I turned my head to see Jarak staring at me, concern etched in his eyes.
My heart raced as the anticipation rose. “I’ll be fine,” I whispered. Another lie.
Somewhere in my mind, I looked for how Meadow turning into a vampire was justifiable. Where’s the justice in that? My soul churned. I was sick over how she thought that she needed to choose this. It was all moving incredibly fast now—like an avalanche, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
A twinge made me focus on Victor’s presence inside my mind. “It’s time,” he said, without actually speaking at all, creeping me out.
Trevor leaned over my mom, whispering next to her cheek. “Alma Bella, recordarán este dolor no más.” He rose up and with his lips grazing her skin, placed a kiss on her forehead.
“Beautiful soul, you will remember this pain no more.” Jarak’s hot breath whispered the translation into my ear.
I was far past being strong. Those words broke the well that housed all my tears. Jarak pulled me to him. His strong arms encircled around me. I was grateful he held me because my legs were weak and I had a hard time keeping myself up. Streams of hot tears flowed from my eyes as I buried my face in his shoulder.
The sound of a scream made me turn around. Ree held Meadow’s wrist to her mouth, devouring her blood. The coppery smell filled the room and I covered my mouth to still my own cries of protest.
I couldn’t see Trevor’s face. He buried it in the crook of her neck. A trickle of red streamed down her collarbone.
Ree growled, and her eyes furrowed as she sucked. She lifted her mouth and pushed herself away—fast, hitting the wall by the door in her haste to get away. Her chin dripped with the crimson liquid.
I spun back to the safety of Jarak’s supporting arms and squeezed my eyes shut, burying my face deeper into his chest. Maybe if I shut them out I could pretend I never saw a vampire feeding on my mom.
A slight moan came from the bed. I braced myself against Jarak, grasping his shirt in my fists and looked against my will. Trevor pulled back from Meadow’s neck with his jaw clenched. He used the back of his hand to wipe away the blood, but it only smeared across his face. He held on to the edge of the bed, clutching it with white knuckles, his eyes squeezed shut. “Su sangre es fuerte,” he hissed through clenched teeth.
I shook my head, pleading with Trevor for an explanation. “I don’t understand.” My grip tightened, and I looked up at Jarak. “Please, I don’t understand.” Panic filled me. Did something go wrong?
Jarak moved his eyes away from me. “Her blood is so strong that it’s calling to them. They’re having a hard time finishing the job without killing her.”
“No!” I tried to move out of his hold to look at Ree. She doubled over with her arms wrapped around her middle and heaved with deep breathes.
“Every ounce of blood… that we take… we must replace with our venom.” Ree coughed and gasped in between her words as she worked to slow her breathing.
I looked around to everyone. “I don’t understand. I thought you just had to bite her.”
Ree stood up straight and ambled toward the bed once again. “We have to bite and draw blood. Then find a clean opening and without sucking we need to release our venom into her blood stream.”
Lights went off in my head. I understood what the problem was. They already had a hard time leaving the first bite without sucking her dry. How would they bite and taste her blood without sucking any at all, as they released their poison.
Trevor nodded and stared at Ree with his eyes softening. “Creamos solo suficiente veneno para cada onza de sangre que tomamos.”
“What does that mean?” I grasped Jarak’s shirt tighter.
Ree panted, “I’m having a hard time and I’m not sure I can do this. He reminded me that we can only create enough venom for each ounce of blood we take. In other words, he can’t help her without me. I’ve already taken her blood, and it needs to be replaced.” She licked her lips, some of the blood already drying in the cracks.
I gulped. Meadow wouldn’t make it after all. Instead, I might as well have signed the death certificate myself, agreeing to watch her ending. I gagged on the bile rising in my throat.
Red tears flowed from Ree’s copper eyes. “I promise I’ll do my best.”
Victor raised his head for a short moment. His eyes narrowed in on Ree. “You better. This has to work!” He stared at Ree for another second before lowering his head back to his hands and concentrated again.
Ree fidgeted with her hands and nodded, inching her way closer to the bed much slower than I’ve seen her move before.
Trevor held Meadow’s arm, raising it to his mouth, letting his fangs hover above her skin before clamping down. His eyes squeezed shut. Pain etched his face as he held his end of the promise, pushing his venom into her body. He laid her arm back down then left the room, moving so quickly that he was nothing more than a blur.
I watched as Ree’s eyes widened. The new bite wound drizzled fresh blood onto the bedspread. She gulped and leaned over, grasping Meadow’s bare shoulder and clamping her mouth down on her neck.
Ree cried out against the skin, her hands dug into Meadow’s shoulder deep enough to draw more blood. She jerked back, trying to pry herself away. Then, she vanished from the room as fast as Trevor had.
My mouth dropped open. “Are they going to be okay?”
Victor continued to hold my mom’s hand with his eyes squeezed shut. I knew he was concentrating on helping her through the turning. It was soon going to be my turn to help.
Jarak nodded his head. “Until Meadow turns, they will probably stay hidden. Her blood is exceptionally strong because she was a witch.”
“What do you mean her blood is strong? Somebody tell me what’s going on!”
Jarak squeezed me tighter. “Witches and Warlocks are like the sweetest candy to a vampire. You carry all the perfect ingredients for the most delectable dinner. Vampires are the ones to create Crossbreeds, not so much the witches. Because of the difficulties, I can't think of another witch who turned successfully into a Crossbreed. Either way, magical blood is worth killing over.”
; I wrapped my hands around my neck to cover it.
“Don’t worry, Es, they won’t hurt you. In fact, you can do more damage to them than they can to you.” He smiled down at me.
“Esmerelda, she needs your help.” Victor’s voice strained. I turned to see him cringing, barely holding his own.
I nodded and dropped to the floor on my knees. I grasped her hand, closing my eyes. There was a tug stronger than what I’d experienced when practicing with Victor. I knew at once this was her. She called out to me. She needed me.
I let my energy flow through that connection, following it to her pain. Intense, fiery throbbing threatened to engulf every inch of my body as my mind traipsed closer to the venom. Crying out as I held my place, I allowed the searing pain to attach to me—absorbing it into my inner core.
Victor was right. It was like second nature and I instinctively knew what to do.
I could feel empty spots—the gaps where the venom missed in her DNA. I pushed out as I did earlier, trying to fill them with whatever energy that seemed to fit like a puzzle.
I could feel Jarak drop to his knees with me, wrapping his arms around me, giving me his strength. “Breathe, Es, just breathe.” His gently cooing calmed my nerves, allowing me to process each gap carefully.
Somewhere I heard Jarak’s voice deep in my mind, calling to me as I let myself travel farther into Meadow’s conscience. I wanted nothing more than to leave this pain and find his soothing voice. Blackness consumed me, surrounding me. I welcomed the void because I couldn’t feel the pain in the darkness.
“Don’t give in to it, Esmerelda,” Victor demanded from somewhere beyond the void.
I couldn’t hold on any longer, but I couldn’t leave either. The blackness sucked me in until I was useless, even against my own body. My hope was that by still being there, I was still helping Meadow before I died myself.
A cool feeling overwhelmed me after being in the inferno. I no longer felt like myself, as if my body detached from reality. Somehow, I knew that was bad, something went wrong.