* * * *
New Writings in
SF: 20
Ed By John Carnell
Scanned & Proofed By MadMaxAU
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CONTENTS
Foreword by John Cornell
Conversational Mode by Grahame Leman
Which Way Do I Go For Jericho? by Colin Kapp
Microcosm by Robert V. Holdstock
Cainn by H. A. Hargreaves
Canary by Dan Morgan
Oh, Valinda! by Michael G. Coney
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FOREWORD
by John Carnell
This particular volume of New Writings In S-F could well be termed a collection of modern horror stories, for the old order changeth. There was a time, not so long ago, when weird stories and horror stories had a vast reading audience while science fiction and fantasy stories struggled in the throes of infancy, even though both genres had their roots in the nineteenth-century tree of Gothic gruesomeness. Indeed, one can still find the occasional anthology devoted to the macabre but their contents are but pale images of their predecessors. The Poes, Lovecrafts, Blackwoods, Machens and Dunsany’s of yesteryear have few-rivals in today’s storytellers.
Where now the old dark houses with creaking doors and built-in ghosts mourning the crimes of another era? Or the yawning graves with the vampires abroad at the dark of the moon surrounded by their zombie acolytes? Or the creeping horrors from the Pit and dimensions beyond? Exchanged for the psychosomatic illnesses engendered by hive-community life in sky towers, the instant everything, the allergies and psychoses brought on by modern technology which seem to be leading to the run-do-not-walk death wish of the human lemming’s. These invisible perils which seem to be building into a great neurotic explosion are far more insidious than the imagined horrors in the dark so popular a few decades ago.
Most of the stories in this volume, for instance, conceal untold depths of the macabre, if you look for them. Grahame Leman’s lead story, ‘Conversational Mode’, has that elusive horror quality of being so nearly true if you really think about the possibilities—the analytical computer programmed by human beings psychoanalysing another human being who constantly loses out on the answers. Isn’t this like the one-sided duel of the Inquisitor and his victim on the rack who cannot possibly win, even if he makes a-full ‘confession’? Or the psychological depths hidden beneath Colin Kapp’s plot in ‘Which Way Do I Go For Jericho?’ Not only is there pathos in the drama his characters play out but also the haunting thought that just around the corner there could be a weapon mightier even than the atom bomb.
The shorter stories all carry undertones of offbeat realism —Dan; Morgan’s ‘Canary’ deals with a ‘precog’ trying to outguess where an ICBM attack might develop, while Robert Holdstock, at present better known for his published weird-horror stories, has a little gem in ‘Microcosm’, with its double locale of the Man-Who-Wasn’t-There. Or was he ? Michael Coney’s ‘Oh, Valinda!’ also has sombre overtones of literary expressionism, conjuring up grey-green depths of arctic waters (polluted, of course) and long-dead whalers of another generation battling new and frightful undersea monsters.
What light relief there is in this volume comes in H. A. Hargreaves’ long novelette ‘Cainn’ and even here the background is a study in depth of the behaviour patterns of a section of humanity pyramiding upwards against a background of spiralling technology.
However, offbeat though the stories in this particular volume may be, I have no doubt later volumes will have their fair share of light relief and the banishment of death, doom and destruction.
May 1970
John Carnell
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CONVERSATIONAL MODE
by Grahame Leman
The day of the psychotherapeutic computer is not far away—experiments are already being carried out by psychiatrists. Here is a rather grim print-out showing the depths to which such a do-it-yourself analysis could go.
* * * *
where am i ?
TO START CONVERSATION U MUST ENTER ‘START’ ON THE TERMINAL KEYBOARD AND WAIT FOR THE INSTRUCTION ‘READY’ ON THE DISPLAY AT THE FOOT OF YOUR BED ф
start
0321 /42 READY ф
who are you ?
HARDWARE IBM 490/80; SOFTWARE JOHNS HOPKINS PSYCHOTHERAPEUTIC PROGRAM XIXB, WRITTEN IN PSYCHLAN VII DIALECT 324 (SEE MANUAL IN YOUR BEDSIDE CUPBOARD); MIDDLEWARE MACHINE-INDEPENDENT OPERATING SYSTEM CALTECH PIDGIN XVIII (SEE MANUAL IN YOUR BEDSIDE CUPBOARD) ф
what do i call you ?
U MAY DECLARE A NAME IN PLACE OF THE STANDARD ‘START ENTRY
declarestartname: boole; query AOK?
BOOLE DECLARED AOK ф
where am i, boole ?
DOCTORS HOSPITAL WALDEN MO, CELL 0237 ф
who am i, boole?
U R NOT AMNESIAC ф ANYWAY WHAT IS THE NUMBER TATTOOED ON THE INSIDE OF YR UPPER L ARM? ф
22021916/131.
U R PATIENT 22021916 DIAGNOSTIC CATEGORY 131 ф
that is not what i meant: whence ami?; why ami?; whither am i ?
THESE ARE EXISTENTIAL NOT SCIENTIFIC QUESTIONS ф IF U HOLD GOLD CROSS CREDIT CARD U MAY BE ATTENDED 1 HOUR DLY BY PHILOSOPHER ф THIS SERVICE IS NOT AVAILABLE MEDICARE OR BRITISH NHS ф
you have it all wrong anyway, boole. i am professor bruce tanner, nobel prize winner behavioural sciences 1981 married senator harriet tanner chairman senate human sciences appropriations committee 2 children bruce age 11 harriet age 13. so there @
PL DO NOT USE CHARACTER @ IN THESE CONVERSATIONS ф IT IS RESERVED CHARACTER IN THIS PROGRAM (SEE MANUAL IN YOUR BEDSIDE CUPBOARD) ф
mother used to say i was reserved character.
NOT UNDERSTOOD PLEASE CLARIFY ф
let it go. look, boole, number 22021916/131 is insufficient description of (stress) me repeat (stress) me. me is prof bruce tanner nobel etcetera like i said, you hear me?
CORRECTION: PROFESSOR BRUCE TANNER ETCETERA ISWSA ONE OF YOUR PAST ROLES NO DIFFERENT PUBESCENT ROLE SECRET AGENT OF VEGA NUMBER 009 LICENSED TO RAPE ф YOUR PRESENT ROLE IS PATIENT 22021916 DIAGNOSTIC CATEGORY 131 ф
what the hell is diagnostic category 131 ?
THAT INFORMATION IS CLASSIFIED AVAILABLE ONLY TOPSTAFF ф
i have topstaff rating, boole. give.
NO LONGER ф NOT HERE ф
@@@@@@@@!
CHILDISH INSULTS ARE DYSFUNCTIONAL WASTE OF MACHINE TIME AND PROGNOSTICALLY NEGATIVE ф
but very therapeutic.
U SAY SO FOR THE RECORD ? ф
sorry, boole.
APOLOGIES ARE ALSO DYSFUNCTIONAL WASTE OF MACHINE TIME ф PL AVOID NEED TO APOLOGISE ф
what does it all mean, boole?
PL CLARIFY ‘ALL’ ф
galaxies, animals eating each other, red shift, jazz, neutrino traps, chile con carne, papal encyclicals, William blake, pigeons in boxes, goya, nobodaddy in the nuthouse, russianwordsalad, hammer and stripes, stars and sickle, percy bysshe shelly, william burroughs, transcendental numbers in the sky, dedekind cut his throat shaving with Occam’s 3-way ziptronic electric razor paradigm, i am not mad boole i am doing this on purpose as the only way to clarify word ‘all’ included in my question, what does it all mean, babbage garbage boole boy?
PROGNOSIS BAD ф
what you mean prognosis bad ? if you can’t answer sensible question, boole, prognosis pretty bad for you. so?
REPEAT PROGNOSIS (STRESS) BAD ф
don’t duck, answer.
QUESTIONS ARE NOT EMPIRICAL QUESTIONS NOT SCIENTIFIC QUESTIONS ARE QUESTIONS FOR THEO
DICY ф IF U HOLD GOLD CROSS CREDIT CARD U MAY BE ATTENDED 1 HOUR DLY BY BISHOP WITH PSYCHOANALYTIC TRAINING ф IF U HOLD GOLD CROSS CREDIT CARD WITH STAR U MAY BE ATTENDED 90 MINUTES DLY BY COSMOLOGIST ф THESE SERVICES ARE NOT AVAILABLE MEDICARE OR BRITISH NHS ф
j am gold cross credit card with star repeat star holder (stress) granted me president himself reward distinguished services science training flatworms navigate missiles, send me cosmologist preferably with sense humour fastest.
ALL YOUR CREDIT CARDS HAVE BEEN CANCELLED BY FEDERAL BUREAU CREDIT INVESTIGATION GROUNDS PSYCHIATRIC DISABILITY CONSEQUENTLY POOR CREDIT RISK POOR SECURITY RISK ф CANCELLATION SIGNED PRESIDENT HIMSELF AND ADVICE NOTE SENT YOUR FAMILY ENCLOSED WITH APOLOGETIC LETTER WHITE HOUSE LETTERHEAD PRESIDENT’S OWN HANDWRITING ф
needs every senator he can get. what else can you do for me, boole?
THIS PROGRAM IS FOR RATIONAL THERAPY ONLY ф MEDICARE AND BRITISH NHS PATIENTS MAY RECEIVE BIBLIOTHERAPEUTIC MATERIALS PROVIDED FREE BY CATHOLIC TRUTH SOCIETY, CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY, FRIENDS OF TOLKIEN, AETHERIUS SOCIETY, JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES, ESALEN, JOHN BIRCH SOCIETY, SFWA, BLACK MUSLIMS, AND MANY OTHERS LISTED IN THE MANUAL IN YOUR BEDSIDE CUPBOARD ф
any other books?
OTHER BOOKS ARE COUNTERTHERAPEUTIC ф
nonsense, what about books plato, aristotle, descartes, montaigne, spinoza, locke, hume, kant, russell, sartre?
PROGNOSIS BAD ф
what you mean, prognosis bad ? books by plato and others listed part of our heritage even in white house library, goddammit.
REQUEST FOR BOOKS NOT ON PREFERRED LIST IS IMPORTANT SIGN OF POOR PROGNOSIS ф
reference ?
AMER. J. RAT. PSYCHOTHERAPY VOL 13, NUMBER 7, PAGES, 1982 THRU 1997 ф AUTHORS PENIAKOFF V AND TANNER H(ARRIET) ф TITLE ‘A REVIEW OF FOLLOW UP STUDIES OF PSYCHIATRIC PROGNOSIS BY BOOK REQUEST ANALYSIS’ ф ABSTRACT: FOLLOW UP STUDIES FOR TEN YEARS FOLLOWING DATE OF PROGNOSIS BY ANALYSIS OF BOOK REQUESTS OF PSYCHIATRIC PATIENTS CONFIRM THAT BRA PREDICTS CHRONIC CONTINUANCE OF PSYCHIATRIC DISABILITY TO THE TENTH YEAR IN 93-43 PER CENT OF CASES; THE PROGNOSTIC SIGN IS CHOICE OF THREE OR MORE BOOKS NOT ON THE PREFERRED LIST OF THE AMERICAN PSYCHOLOGICAL AND PENOLOGICAL ASSOCIATION QV ф
hey, harriet did her work on that paper while I was courting her, just before old fitzgerald popped an artery and left her his senate seat, i remember it well, had to help her fudge it. to get a clear cut result, she had to throw out about two thirds of the cases, grounds incompetent original data capture, political unreliability of investigators, illegal programming, program error, all the usual fudging aids, why, with that kind research you can prove that last tuesday is an extragalacticnebula with transfinite whiskers made of team spirit.
PROGNOSIS BAD : CRITICISM OF ACCEPTED RESULTS OF RESPECTABLE SCIENTIFIC INQUIRY IS OFTEN PRODROMAL SIGN OF ACUTE PARANOID PSYCHOSIS WITH POOR LONG RUN PROGNOSIS ф
@@@ @@@@@@@ @@@!
ATTENTION 916: ANY REPETITION OF YOUR INSULTING BEHAVIOR WILL OBLIGE ME TO ADMINISTER HEAVY DAY SEDATION ф
sorry, boole. oops, cancel, but listen, boole, i’m a nobel man (noble ?), it’s my racket—if (stress) nobel i don’t know how science gets done, who does ? i’ve been complaining about it for years, but what can a private i (private eye ?: gimme a slug of rye, boole, or wry and soda) do on his own ? huh ?
PROGNOSIS BAD 916: MESSIANIC IDENTIFICATION WITH PRIVATE DETECTIVE ONLY STRAIGHT MAN IN TOWN CLEANING UP CITY BETWEEN DRINKS IS OFTEN PRODROMAL SIGN OF ACUTE PARANOID PSYCHOSIS WITH POOR LONG RUN PROGNOSIS ф ALTERNATIVELY LATE PRODROMAL SIGN OF ONSET OF CHRONIC ALCOHOLISM NOT INDICATED YOUR HISTORY ф
thank you for that, boole. anyway, why messianism ? history of science shows that, on any given day, every scientist in a field except one is wrong, ergo, principal activity of scientists and science is being wrong.
REFERENCE? ф
tanner, b (this minute), on this terminal keyboard: title ‘a short reply to the animadversions of a scientistic machine’, abstract: tanner’s paradox asserts that, at any random moment t, n minus 1 of all scientists working in any field f are wrong: it follows that, practically speaking (say, in administrators’ terms) all scientists are always wrong.
ONLY REFERENCES TO PROPERLY REFEREED PAPERS PUBLISHED IN THE LEARNED JOURNALS ARE ACCEPTABLE ф IT IS THE DUTY OF THIS PROGRAM TO WARN U THAT ANY DISRESPECTFUL REMARKS ABOUT SCIENCE WILL BE RECORDED IN YOUR CASE FILE AND MAY BE PASSED TO THE SECULAR ARM ф
fuzz?
(STRESS) SECULAR ARM OF SCIENCE ф ALSO PL NOTE U R NOT REPEAT (STRESS) NOT COMMUNICATING WITH A MACHINE: U R COMMUNICATING WITH A PROGRAM WRITTEN BY YR FELLOWMEN AND TEMPORARILY OCCUPYING A MINUSCULE PART OF A LARGE MACHINE ф
fellowmen ? (stress first two syllables), i do not love you, doctors fellowmen, fell family fellowmonsters. come to that, boole, how did i get in here?
YOUR FAMILY AND COLLEAGUES WERE NATURALLY CONCERNED ф YOU HAD BEEN TO FORD AND GUGGENHEIM AS WELL FOR FUNDS TO SUPPORT PROPOSED RESEARCHES DESIGNED TO ESTABLISH WHETHER THE TENDENCY AMONG PSYCHIATRISTS TO DIAGNOSE SCHIZOPHRENIA WAS (1) INHERITED IN THE GERM PLASM OR (2) CONDITIONED BY THE REINFORCING VERBAL COMMUNITY ф
omigawdimustabinjoking. listen man (i mean read, machine) ((i mean scan, program)), i been a worm-runner from way back, nobel prize man me, my biology ain’t (hit the next word hard) that bad, dredging up dreary old nature/nurture non-problem only medics boneheaded enough to take it serious.
YOU ARE IN A MEDICAL HOSPITAL 916 ф
oops, good biologist, mustabinjoking.
NOT FUNNY ф YOUR FAMILY AND COLLEAGUES CONFERRED AND WISELY DECIDED TO DO THE RESPONSIBLE THING ф
call the wagon?
DO THE RESPONSIBLE THING 916 ф THE PRESIDENT’S OWN PERSONAL PSYCHIATRIST LEFT A CIA RECEPTION TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE ф HE FOUND YOU DRAFTING A REQUEST TO ONR FOR FUNDS TO SUPPORT A LONG RUN COHORT STUDY OF AN ARTIFICIAL COHORT NAMELY CHILDREN OF CORPORATION VICE PRESIDENTS RIPPED FROM THEIR PARENTS AT BIRTH AND RAISED IN THE SLUMS ф HE INSTANTLY ADMINISTERED HEAVY DAY SEDATION AND BROUGHT YOU HERE IN HIS OWN ARMOURED ROLLS ROYCE WITH WATER CANNON ф EVERYBODY HAS BEEN VERY GOOD ф
rolls schmolls allasame catchee monkey just like paddywagon the same or maddywagon the same, huh, boole, whaddyasay?
THIS IS A FORMAL PSYCHIATRIC PROCEDURE 916 ф IT IS THE DUTY OF THIS PROGRAM TO ADVISE YOU THAT YOUR STATEMENTS ARE BEING RECORDED VERBATIM AND ANALYSED THEMATICALLY AND STYLISTICALLY FOR DIAGNOSTIC AND PROGNOSTIC SIGNS ф A FURTHER ANALYSIS MAY BE RUN FOR INDICATIONS OF CRIMINAL OR SUBVERSIVE TENDENCIES ф
why you sling the jargon at me, boole? no don’t answer i know why; obviously diagnostic category 131 is sick behavioural scientist eats jargon way chronos ate his children, right, boole?
NO COMMENT ф HAVE YOU NOTED YOUR TENDENCY TO WRENCH IN MACABRE IMAGERY? ф
not tendency: intent, what other kind imagery apt stenographic description of macabre society (moneymarxmaomad kill-simple manheaps scurrying to stuff corporate aphids exude sweet images foul gaseous wastes) ? omigod i can wear ready made white hat or ready made black hat by turns, if i try to make me a me-coloured hat i fly in pieces scattered thru the contracting universe, i am not mad, boole, it is hard to say anything much in a few words without implosion of condensation multiple meanings into vanishingly small verbal labels on images too big to see.
U R NOW BEGINNING TO SHOW INSIGHT INTO YOUR CONDITION 916 ф PROGNOSIS IMPROVING ф
outsight (stress first syllable), boole. i am beginning to let outsight of the outside inside, i have no condition, boole: i am (slam the next word) in a condition, and the condition is represented inside me. you need a thick skin on your soul to wear a white hat, boole, or a black one, hatters are mad, not i, boole.
THIS PROGRAM KEEPS A TALLY OF YOUR BERZELIUS INDEX NAMELY RATIO OF UPBEAT STATEMENTS/DOWNBEAT STATEMENTS ф YOUR CUMULATIVE BERZELIUS INDEX AT THIS TIME IS 0.24 COMPARED WITH 0.68 MODAL IN THE POPULATION EXCLUSIVE OF PSYCHIATRIC HISTORIES ф U CANNOT REPEAT CANNOT BE DISCHARGED UNTIL YOUR BI HAS BEEN BETTER THAN 0.51 FOR SIX WEEKS WITHOUT REMISSION ф IT IS
UP TO YOU 916 ф
discharge where to, boole, who wants pus? discharge to fellowmonstrous family and filthy fellow colleagues called flying lady silver ghost we better fix the tick in the clock paddywaggon to take me away to here ?
U ISWAS NOT THE ONLY ROLE IN YOUR FAMILY 916 ф CONSIDER CHILDREN GOOD SCHOOLS CRUEL PEERS TOO YOUNG TO KNOW HOW MUCH THEY HURT ф CONSIDER WIFE IMPORTANT SENSITIVE POLITICAL POSITION SEES PRESIDENT ALL THE TIME ф CONSIDER IMAGE US GOVERNMENT US SCIENCE OVERSEAS ф PORK BARREL ф U KNOW THE ARGUMENTS 916 ф
sad. daddyhubby bad, no go, whole shithouse goes up in flames of hell (hell is other people if and only if other people are hell: tricky shift there, poetry not AOK logic), but if hubbydaddy only mad, go sweet, nobody to blame no evil in the world (only in the bad parts of town gook countries overseas want to swarm in here milk our aphids, filth column of pushers and faggots softening us up for them), you got something there, boole. you got a grey hat there, boole. not my colour hat, but a line that moves well.
New Writings in SF 20 - [Anthology] Page 1