by Viola Grace
She smiled and headed off to her quarters. She hoped that there weren’t any surprises.
She opened her door, and her room was surprisingly the way she had left it. Libby went to the lav, scrubbed her face, brushed her teeth, and then headed to her bed. She probably had another appointment after dawn.
* * * *
Mathla-Luon frowned. “You two have mated.”
“Indeed.”
Mathla stared at him in surprise. “All day?”
He chuckled. “Most of it. One of the other ancients suggested that she request hospitality of me... so she did.”
“And you obliged.”
Mathla-Luon scowled. “How does this affect her collecting memories for the monastery?”
“She is here for that purpose. I have my own pursuits to engage in. I have no intention to interfere in her assignments or duties.”
Mathla-Luon smiled. “Something tells me that you are not going to stay away for long.”
“I am not going to stay away at all. If she has need of me, I will be there, but conversely, if I have need of her, I will request that she accommodate my needs as well.” He smiled and shrugged.
“You have needs? You have been on your own for longer than I have, and you have never required a companion.”
“I have never been presented with one designed for me. Thank you for that, by the way.”
Mathla-Luon blushed. “She has fragments of all the ancients, but your characteristics rose up.”
He smiled and closed his eyes. “Her skin feels like silk, her sighs stroke my soul, and being inside her is like entering another plane of existence.”
Mathla-Luon blinked. “So, you want to keep her.”
Yelfon smiled. “Of course, but she has other ancients to meet and work to do. She has barely begun her introductions.”
“You are fine with her meeting them? Aloth nearly used force on her.”
“And she did actually use force on him. She beat him until her transport disk broke and then was going to walk home. If she is in distress, I will help her, but if she can handle it on her own, it is her right.”
A low groan came from the side, and Aloth looked at them. “You didn’t stop her from coming to me, Mathla.”
Mathla-Luon turned and said, “You sent the invitation, and she is making her way through the ancients. I was not fully aware of your involvement in those who visited you, but an investigation is about to commence. Master Elizabeth has given me a few suggestions to deal with you, and I have to decide whether I take the easy or the difficult route.”
Aloth grunted, and he removed his Hirn aspect and took the form of a man, and he walked toward them.
Yelfon really wanted to smash him into paste, but that was not what Elizabeth wanted. She wanted to prove himself normal or villain, but she wanted him to do it with those around him aware of what he was.
Yelfon cocked his head. “What did she give you as she left tonight?”
Aloth looked embarrassed. “The words that her father gave her about not being afraid to trust again, and if that trust was betrayed, being able to defend herself with everything at her disposal.”
Yelfon smiled. That did sound like the woman he had seen debating whether or not to lift the pieces of the disk and hit him again. “So, what have you concluded about your behaviour?”
“I owe many of the women here an apology.” Aloth murmured, “I will begin with Master Elizabeth.”
Mathla shook her head. “You will not. You will begin with the youngest surviving novice and work your way up. We have lost several of the women to suicide, and I thought they were just unsuited to life here. It seems that I must do penance for not seeing the signs as well.”
Yelfon nodded. “Master Elizabeth’s society has just begun to rise up and support the victims of such acts. Perhaps that is why she was on alert when she was warned about you, Aloth.”
Aloth scowled, opened his mouth, winced, and nodded. “Her memory was very powerful and painful.” He looked ill.
Mathla-Luon picked him up and draped him over the edge of the wall as he vomited.
Yelfon removed his meal, and he rose to his feet. “Shall I leave, or are there guest quarters?”
Mathla held Aloth. “Choose an empty room and consider it yours.”
He smiled and inclined his head as the avatar let the ancient release some of the stress for a very painful memory.
Yelfon found the room that Elizabeth was inside locked. He opened the empty room next to hers, locked it, and created a doorway between them. His clothing disappeared with a thought, and he climbed onto the low bed, wrapping her in his arms. She snuffled and settled against him, breathing deeply and slowly. He stroked her hair and pressed a kiss to her head. After their earlier couplings, she fit against him as if they had been together for years.
He held her close, and his eyes shut as he tried to remember the last time he had felt this content. Even in his first years with his wife and children, he did not remember this intense feeling of peace.
She murmured against his chest. “Aw, you had kids.”
He chuckled, and he gave her a window into the life of an ancient, showing his family life. His wife’s death, his children’s children, and his children’s death, and the endless cycle of birth and death with the occasional wife or lover on the way. He was the only fixed point, and he was alone, surrounded by his descendants.
She wrapped her arms around him as he gave her his history. She took it, filed it away, but she learned about him. It was a lot easier to give him her own history—eighty-two years versus thousands.
By mid-morning, their exchange of lives had concluded, and when she sat up to go to work, she kissed him sweetly before she went to wipe down before she got dressed for the day. Sleeping with someone was nice, but it did get sweaty.
Chapter Ten
Yelfon was gone when she was dressed, complete with underwear. Libby headed out and went to the dining hall where she was about to sit and have bread when a novice came up to her. The novice’s eyes were red, and Libby frowned. “What is it?”
“The avatar would like to speak with you, Master Elizabeth.”
“Have you been crying, Novice Rouse?”
Rouse looked away. “The avatar will explain it.”
Libby walked with her in silence as they walked to Mathla’s private garden.
A man was sitting at the table, and he was a rich brown, had long dark hair, and huge liquid gold eyes. She cocked her head and asked, “Aloth?”
He nodded and knelt in front of her. “Master Elizabeth, please, forgive me for my actions yesterday. It was my intent to seek my own enjoyment at your expense, and I did not realize what a toll I was extracting from the women who came to my woods.” He swallowed. “Thank you for stopping me and bringing the matter forward.”
She nodded. “Apology accepted. You are aware of what will happen if you attempt it again.”
“Yes, Mathla-Luon has made it very clear. I understand.”
“Fine. Get up.”
He got to his feet, bowed again, and backed away. His deferential move made her happy. He had not tried contact, and he was remaining at a physical distance from anyone else. It was a good first move, and it showed that he was paying attention.
Mathla-Luon was looking at them, and she nodded. “Go and get something to eat, Elizabeth. I have had breakfast held for you.”
Elizabeth went to the table that was obviously waiting for her. She attacked the food, and when the contents of the three plates were gone, she was ready to start her day.
Mathla-Luon sat down, and she smiled. “So, you and Yelfon?”
Elizabeth swallowed the last of her water. “I am sure it was just a one-time thing.”
“That is the first time I have seen you lie.” Mathla-Luon smiled.
“He was very kind, but I don’t want to impose?”
The avatar held up two fingers. “Another lie.”
“I am rather embarrassed about yesterday’s activities?”
“A truth. It is why he decided to leave this morning. He didn’t want you uncomfortable.”
“It wouldn’t have been my first walk of shame.”
“Another truth.” Mathla-Luon smiled. “So, what should I do with the Hirn?”
“I think, for all the women who are here, take his memory and theirs. Cut out all recognition but leave mine and the women who passed.”
Matha frowned. “I don’t have that kind of precision.”
“I can do it. Am I scheduled for anything else today?”
“I will move it if you can do this.”
“I will check with Aloth if he is willing to do this.”
“If I say he will, he will.”
“But I won’t.”
The avatar paused. “What?”
“If he doesn’t agree, I am not going to dig around in his memories. I will not do to him what he did to others.” She was calm but firm.
Mathla flinched. “Right. Okay. First, remove the memory from Novice Rouse.”
Elizabeth went to Rouse and explained what she was being asked to do. “Do you want me to remove all traces of that day from your mind?”
Rouse blinked. “We can’t do that.”
Elizabeth smiled. “Do you want me to remove all traces of that day?”
“What will I remember?”
“You got up, you meditated, and you got exposed to some fungus that caused you to have dark moods and crying jags for the following year.”
“Will I still cry and panic?”
Elizabeth was honest. “I don’t know. I have not done this before. I know I can, but that is where it ends. I don’t know what the effects will be long term.”
“Can you take me out of his mind? I don’t want him to remember what he did to me.”
“I can definitely do that. What about you?”
“I would like to keep it. I want to know why I felt such pain over the last year.”
Elizabeth walked to Aloth, where he was kneeling. “You heard that?”
“I did.”
“Will you agree to it?”
“I will.”
She stood behind him, pressed her hands to his skull, and sifted the memory out. The entire scenario made her skin crawl but only because Rouse had been panicking. She lifted the memory out of him and leaned back.
She looked to Mathla-Luon. “Next.”
Her morning disappeared into the morning and early afternoon. There was only one woman who opted to have her memories removed, and it was due to her previous attraction to Aloth. She had been a fangirl, an ardent admirer, and when he had used his methods on her, the betrayal had gone bone-deep.
When Elizabeth worked on her, she had to go all the way back to their first contact and scrub the romantic feelings. It took a very long time, but when she finished, the woman looked at her with a softly pleasant smile. “Master Elizabeth, what am I doing here?”
“I have just been practicing some deep search techniques. I found your first pet.” She smiled. “Thank you for your cooperation.”
Novice Trella nodded and glanced at Aloth. “Who is that?”
“Ancient Aloth. He is working on some deep meditation.”
The novice looked and giggled. “He’s handsome. I thought he had horns.”
“He does. He can shift. It’s how he gets through doorways.”
Elizabeth’s head was pounding. Trella had forgiven him, but she hadn’t been capable of forgiving herself for being vulnerable, so with her memories gone, she would try again, eventually.
Elizabeth staggered to Aloth’s side and sat down. “I swear if you abuse any of the trust of these young women again…”
Aloth nodded. He had retained knowledge of what she had done and that it was part of his punishment.
Mathla arrived with a folded bundle. “I know it is late, but you are being requested, and it is somewhat urgent.”
“Right. I will head to my quarters to change.”
“Change in my quarters. You won’t be able to wear your robes over this.”
She nodded and headed for Mathla’s quarters. Mathla had mirrors in her chambers, and when Libby was undressed, she squawked in surprise. She had hickies along the base of her neck, two on the inside of her breasts, and one over her hip.
She growled and then laughed. She started putting the clothing on, and it was pretty, elegant, and definitely nothing like what she would have worn back home, even when her figure was close to what she currently had. It was a little art deco, a little punk, and even the sandals were comfortable.
She attached her belt and crystals.
The cape slid onto her arms and attached in a few places, but the silver veil was what definitely cinched who had requested her.
She was veiled, gowned, and walking out into the gardens when she asked, “So, why has Yelfon asked to see me?”
Mathla-Luon looked at her, and there was a slow smile. “There are mirrors in my quarters. You tell me.”
She touched the marks on her neck that were hidden by her clothing. All of the marks he had left on her were hidden by the fabric, but now, she knew they were there.
“Um. I thought he was going to wait until I needed him.”
“He has decided that you do. Come on, we are going to get you into an open area. He’s almost here.”
She stood there in black silks with gold trim while the wind fluttered her veil. It took off as she waited, and his claw shot past her to catch it. He perched on one leg until he bit the fabric in his beak and extended his head to her with the veil fluttering wildly.
She curtsied to him and took the veil, pinning it into place with one of the wooden hair spikes she was allowed. He looked at the pin with his huge avian eye, and she murmured, “Evening, Yelfon.”
She climbed onto his neck and settled in. Libby stroked her hands into his feathers and leaned against the heat of him. He fell back from the walls, and his wings bore them away from the building and across the plain.
Libby nestled into his feathers, and he took the hint, flying past his home and across the mountains. While he was flying, she let all the panic and pain that she had experienced during the day fall away and into the mountains.
During the day, she had buckled her emotions down, but now, she let them loose. Yelfon could feel them anyway. She cried and screamed and filled the air with cursing until he slowly banked and headed home.
His wings beat heavily, and she got drowsy from her emotional storm. When he landed, she felt herself slipping from his neck, but it was his arms that caught her as she fell.
She blinked and smiled. “Hello, Yelfon.”
“Hello, Elizabeth. I notice that we are skipping the honorifics today.”
She sighed. “I am really not up to them today.”
He slid her down his body. “What can I do for you?”
“Just hold me?”
“I can do that.” He smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
They walked into his luxurious cavern, and in a few minutes, he was sitting with her curled up with her head on his thigh and a small fire in front of them. He removed the veil on her head and ran his hands through her hair. The repetitive motion was very soothing.
She sighed and said, “Thank you.”
“You haven’t had someone watching over you for a very long time.”
“No, but I learned to manage most things for myself. This... this is beyond what I have prepared for.” She swallowed. “It was messed up on all ends.”
He stroked her hair. “You released the memories without attaching them to anything. Isn’t that destroying the purity of the archive?”
She sighed. “Fuck the archive. No one needs to see that much pain and fear. I can always create a watered-down version if necessary with some cutaways and edits.”
“That is not the true memory.”
“The true memory belongs to the person who experienced it. Strangers do not need to know more to experience the age. People are people, and no matter their species, they react the same to the same stimuli as their ancestors. When people look to the past, they look for how people lived, how they laughed, and how they went through all the buying, selling, and social interactions of the existing society.” She stroked his knee. “All the boring details that let them fit themselves into the life that began the memory. That is what they are after. They don’t want modern and predictable pain.”
“You were once in a similar situation.”
“I was. He tried to break my spirit and body in equal measure. I didn’t let him win, but I had help.”
“Your father.”
“Yeah. He wasn’t comfortable with the situation at first, but when he met me in the hospital and saw what my husband of four months had done to me, he became my partner in my fight, and we set about rebuilding my life.”
“What happened to your husband?”
“My father helped me force him into bankruptcy, and my ex eventually drank himself to death.” She chuckled. “It was not a particularly fast death.”
“You sound like you enjoyed it.”
“The scared young woman I used to be enjoyed it immensely. The older and wiser woman I am now is just very amused by the fact that he ended his life with women around him who were only there to sedate him and clean him up. He had lost all of his power.”
Yelfon stroked her hair. “So, you are a vengeful goddess. Good to know.”
“I am no goddess; I just know when justice has truly been done. The experience early in my life taught me a few things that no one should learn, and I used that wisdom to ease the journeys of women in a similar situation. In my travels, I saw dozens of, if not over a hundred, societies, and I had to find the working logic in each one. Some were bound by weather, others by custom, and others by tradition. The tradition ones faded faster than other societies.”
He chuckled. “That is the way of things. The Dremarai were beginning to fade when I last checked on them.”