by J. Haymore
Now with the real Lacey standing beside me, every step she took, every time the wind blew her hair, every time her eyes lit up when she glanced at me—everything she did stoked the flames. Each time she touched me, my blood traveled south and my cock hardened to steel.
I parked my truck behind her car, and we went inside. She walked directly to the kitchen, calling out, “Rocky road or mint chocolate chip?”
I followed her, leaning against the doorway of her kitchen with my arms crossed over my chest, watching her backside wiggle as she stuck her head in the freezer.
Lacey à la mode. I grinned. I’d be sure to try that sometime. Not tonight, though. Not for our first time. Tonight was special.
“Rocky road.”
She scooped rocky road into two bowls and set them on the little round table in the corner of her kitchen. I slid into the chair across from hers and watched her spoon a bit of the ice cream into her mouth.
The way her mouth puckered from the cold, the way her tongue flicked out to lick a drop off her lip, spoke of pure sex. I imagined her flicking her tongue over my cock like that, running it up and down my shaft. It would be cold from the ice cream, but I wouldn’t care. My dick tightened uncomfortably in my jeans.
She smiled at me, arching a curious eyebrow. “What?”
“Nothing.” I bent my head and focused on the ice cream for a few moments. When I glanced up again, she was staring at me intently.
Enough of this. I pushed the bowl away and rose. She stood at the same time.
“I’m going to kiss you, Lacey,” I said, some part of me understanding that she needed to be warned of my imminent touch.
“Okay.” Her voice was no more than a breath of sound, and the white, tender column of her throat moved as she swallowed.
Holding her by the shoulders, I took her throat first, pressing my lips to the delicate, pale skin. I kissed upward to her jaw, finally reaching her lips, cooled by the ice cream, and chocolate-sweet. She was more relaxed than she’d been since we started dating. Her hands explored me greedily, shifting the material of my shirt over my body. I drew back, pulled it over my head and tossed it away. She sucked in a breath, and for the first time ever, reached for me and leaned forward to initiate a kiss.
Without taking my lips from hers, I reached behind her butt and picked her up.
She instantly stiffened.
“Relax, baby,” I murmured against her skin. “I’ve got you. Wrap your legs around me.”
Clasping her hands around my neck and her legs around my waist, she squeezed her eyes shut and made a visible effort to release her tense muscles.
“That’s it,” I crooned. I strode through the open door of her bedroom and, using my foot, shut it behind us.
I laid her gently on the bed, and she sank into the puffy comforter.
As much as I wanted to tear off my jeans, lift her legs over my shoulders, and take us both into oblivion, I knew I couldn’t—at least not yet. I wanted to make this good for her, make it memorable, make it last. So instead of stripping down, I kicked off my shoes and joined her on the bed.
I touched my fingers to her cheek. I loved her face, the shape of it, her smooth, soft skin. Most of all, I loved looking at her eyes, that enticing mixture of intelligence, spirit, and vulnerability. Not for the first time, I wondered what her ex had done to her. She’d mentioned a bad breakup had been the catalyst for her moving here. But now I thought there must be something more. What had that asshole done to her?
I felt like hunting the son of a bitch down and demanding to know how he had hurt Lacey. And then make him pay for it.
I gazed at her face. I didn’t want her to hurt; I wanted her to smile. I wanted her to be happy, to feel confident about her amazing, voluptuous body. I wanted to see her in rapture, watch the expression on her face as she came.
“The way you look at me…” Her voice trembled, then dropped away altogether.
“How’s that?”
“It’s almost…predatory. Like you could devour me.”
I could. I didn’t break the lock of my gaze on her eyes. “Does it bother you?”
“It makes me tingle all the way down to my toes,” she said breathlessly.
I kissed her, tenderly, sweetly, pressing my body against hers. Inch by inch, I tugged up her skirt, exposing her thighs, which I explored with my fingertips, then her hips, round, smooth, and feminine. She was soft everywhere I was hard. It brought out a strange feeling deep within me, a desire to keep her safe, to protect her.
I’d never felt this way about anyone before. The realization knocked the wind from my lungs.
Ever so slowly, I tugged up her shirt, exposing the lacy bra that matched her panties. I moved my hands over it, reverently palming each of her plump breasts, skimming her nipples through the lace. She gasped and arched into my hands.
“Beautiful Lacey,” I murmured. I lowered my mouth to her nipple, sucking it through the lace. Tugging aside the bra, I drew circles around her areola with my tongue, watching in fascination as her nipple darkened and puckered. Then I unclipped the front closure of the bra and exposed her entire chest, giving the same treatment to her other breast.
She panted, twisting in pleasure at the slow, torturous treatment. Torturous for me, anyway. I could feel every beat of my heart as my dick pulsed against the inside of my jeans. I wasn’t going to last much longer, and goddammit, I didn’t want to come inside my pants.
I moved one hand down to palm her pussy. As soon as I slid my fingers beneath the drenched silk of her panties, she went completely rigid.
No!
“Lacey, baby—” I’d gone too fast, damn it. I moved my hand away, skimming over her belly, but she twisted away.
Shit, I couldn’t take a rejection. Not tonight, not now.
“I can’t do this!” she gasped.
“Yes you can,” I said through the alarm bells blaring in my head. “Lacey, just relax and—”
“I can’t.” She sat up, pulled her shirt down, and tugged her skirt to her ankles. She wouldn’t meet my gaze.
Slowly, I moved to the edge of the bed, fighting the raging of my mind and body. After a long moment, I asked, “Why not?” My voice sounded stiff and unnatural.
She looked away from me, at the other wall. “It’s just…I can’t, I can’t…”
“You need to tell me why. I can’t help you if you won’t tell me.”
Drawing in a ragged breath, she spoke softly. “I don’t need your help. This just isn’t me, okay? I can’t be the woman you need me to be.”
But she was. We’d had such a great night tonight. I’d never felt like I could be myself around any other woman but her.
She was everything I wanted. I flexed my stiff fingers. Why the fuck was this happening? God, she’d been so wet—drenched with her arousal. Why was she doing this?
“It’s been a month.”
“I know.”
I spoke quietly, trying not to let my frustration infuse my voice. “Every time I try to get close to you, you freeze and push me away. If I’m moving too fast for you, just tell me. I’m okay with slowing things down.”
I hadn’t wanted to admit that, but it was true. For her, I’d slow things down if I had to. Only for her.
“No.” She shook her head helplessly. “It’s my fault. We’ve been having a good time together, but I’ve been leading you on. This isn’t…this isn’t me. I’m sorry.”
“I think it is you, Lacey.”
“No,” she said with finality. She turned to look at me, her eyes blue fire. “No, it isn’t. I’m sorry.”
“Are you saying it isn’t going to happen at all?”
“Yes.”
I had to concentrate on releasing the tension in my jaw before I could speak again. “Do you want me to leave?”
“Yes.”
But a part of me didn’t believe her. “I will. Just look me in the eye and say you don’t want me. Say it, because otherwise I’m not going anywhere.”
> She flinched but raised her eyes to mine. Eyes shining with tears. “Just go, Kai.”
“Say you don’t want me to touch you. Say you can’t stand it when I kiss you. Say the thought of us making love makes you cringe.”
She spoke slowly, enunciating each word clearly. “I don’t want you.”
I felt like I’d been shot. My throat closed. I surged up and strode to the door. With my hand clenching the doorknob, I paused.
I was shaking—with anger, with disappointment, with emotions I couldn’t define. Nor did I want to. All I knew was that she’d rejected me for the last time. My pride couldn’t take this shit anymore. And I remembered the agreement I’d made with myself if this happened again. How could I forget? I’d rehashed it over and over last night before going to bed frustrated and unsatisfied.
The fingers of my free hand curled into a fist. I gritted my teeth to keep from punching a hole in her wall.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I ground out.
She let out a little sob. “I know.”
“Why are you doing this? Why the hell won’t you let me touch you?”
“Just…please go. This isn’t going to work.”
My fist curled tighter. My back was rigid. I couldn’t remember ever being so pissed off. “If I go out this door right now, this is it, Lacey. It’s over between us.”
“I know,” she said softly.
“So that’s it, then? That’s what you want?”
She gazed at me, her eyes full of pain. “This is my fault. I knew from the beginning it could never work—”
From the beginning? “What are you saying?”
“Nothing.” She shrugged helplessly. “I’m so sorry for leading you on for so long.”
Anger boiled in my gut. She’d intended to lead me on since the beginning, to never let me touch her? What the hell? “So you reject me, then dismiss me. That’s what you had in mind all along?”
“Just go, Kai.” Her voice was rising now, near hysteria. She turned to her side, facing away from me, not even letting me see the expression on her face.
“Fuck.” I thrust my feet into my shoes and stalked out the door, not stopping until I was on the street outside.
I gripped the edge of the bed of my truck, leaning over to catch my breath. I couldn’t get enough air. I’d known this might happen tonight, but the reality of it pissed me off to no end. I had given her time, tried to help, tried to be understanding. But I had limits. Especially when she wouldn’t talk to me, wouldn’t tell me what was going on. She’d just stiffened, rejected me, agreed that she’d never wanted me, and told me to go away. How the hell was I expected to deal with that?
I shoved at my truck, causing it to rock on its wheels. She was right. There was no fucking way this could work.
* * * * *
Lacey
Fingers stroked my hair, gently tugging me from a black abyss of sleep.
“Kai?”
But…no. It couldn’t be him. I choked back a sob, remembering. It was over. Kai wouldn’t come anymore.
He tucked a bit of hair behind my ear, and soft lips pressed against my temple. I squeezed my eyes shut and remained limp. God, it felt like Kai.
As he traced the shell of my ear with his lips, one hand stroked my arm, and I relaxed minutely. It felt good. I didn’t know what it meant, but it was just a dream, just an illusion.
“That’s right, Lacey. It’s just a dream. Relax.”
Kai spoke to me in my head, the exact same way he had last night. Remembering what he had done to me, how he had made me come, a flush of heat bloomed between my legs.
Vaguely, I realized that I was magically naked again as his hand moved up my arm and down to my chest, gently squeezing my nipple as he laved the other with his tongue.
Why? Why could I do this now, in my mind, when I couldn’t help freezing up with Kai? The real Kai, who clearly felt something for me, who even seemed to find me attractive. Who I’d kicked out of my house, and who wouldn’t return.
“You’re not just attractive, Lacey. You’re beautiful. Perfect.”
He pinched my nipple harder, and a jolt of pleasure-pain shot through me. I gasped, opening my eyes. Just like last night, it was so dark in my room that I could only see Kai’s outline moving over me.
A big hand smoothed up my chest and throat then down, rubbing over my tender nipple, causing me to squirm. Then lower, down my stomach until he cupped me between my legs. This exact action was what had made me slam the door shut on Kai tonight. If I wasn’t such a screwed-up idiot, I would have admitted it felt damn good, and I would have opened my legs and given him access to do whatever he wanted to me.
That was exactly what I did now. I opened my thighs in invitation.
He burrowed his fingers between my sensitive inner lips with a firmness that made me cry out, that made me clench and pulse, already on the verge of orgasm.
I reached up to hold him, grab him, but his strong hands locked my arms to the mattress.
“This doesn’t work both ways. I can play with your delectable body, but you can’t play with mine. It’s against the rules.”
“That doesn’t make sense. This is my dream, my fantasy. There are no rules.” I wanted to feel him, to pull him close. I wanted to touch him everywhere. Explore him.
“I make the rules.” His hands moved lower until his fingers clasped mine. “If you want to play, you’ll need to be brave. You’ll need to be strong and touch me when you’re awake. Only me. Imagine me, Lacey. Imagine touching me. I’m hard beneath your fingertips. Every muscle in my body aches for you.”
“Impossible,” I whispered on a sob.
“Even now I’m dreaming of you—imagining you naked, lying here, wet and ready for me. I want to touch you, to give you pleasure.”
He slid down my body, his muscles grazing sensuously over my skin. His breath washed over my sensitive skin, and then the tip of his tongue glided over me.
“I’m so hard for you it hurts.” Gently, he kissed me again. “Do you want to taste me, Lacey, like I’m tasting you right now? Do you want to slide your tongue down my cock? Do you want to ease my pain, bring me satisfaction?”
“Yes,” I gasped.
As his lips brushed over me, his fingers explored me, circling through the wetness. Teasing me until I quivered from head to toe.
Suddenly, he released me. “Turn over.”
It was a command, and I didn’t hesitate to obey. I flipped onto my stomach.
“On your hands and knees. Show me that pretty, round ass.”
I paused. I’d always been shy about my butt.
A sharp slap stung my butt cheek and I jumped, yelping in shock.
“Don’t ever hesitate, Lacey.”
As warmth seeped from my butt to fan the fire between my legs, I shoved myself up to my knees and elbows.
“Good girl. You have an amazing ass. I love your ass.”
I sighed. God, but this Dream Kai did wonders for my non-existent confidence. I should ask him to come over every night.
“No.” Another slap, this one on the other cheek. I gasped, wiggling my behind to soothe the wild hunger between my legs.
What kind of a dream was this? Rules, an opinionated and dominating dream Kai, and…spankings? Never, even in my wildest fantasies, had I imagined being spanked. My mind, with its limited experiences and observations, would never have come up with that one on its own. But I was dreaming, right?
“Why not?” I challenged him, pressing my forehead into the mattress, trying to keep myself focused. “Why won’t you come to me every night?”
His big hands palmed my behind, soothing the burn. “I want all of you—the real you. Not like this, but in the day and in the night. I want you beside me. Under me. You belong to me, Lacey. And not just in your dreams.”
Those words flowed through me like sweet wine. Every nerve in my body jumped to life. A whimper burst from my throat before I could stop it.
I belonged to Kai. Oh God.
It was true, completely true.
Not only that, but I was in love with him. I buried my face in my comforter. A tear seeped from the corner of my eye, even as my lust raged on.
What the hell was happening to me?
“Let it happen. Don’t fight it. It’s meant to be.”
He played with me, mere wisps of touches, and it was driving me crazy. I wanted more.
“You’re confusing me…teasing me…stop teasing me.” I arched my back and pushed my butt toward him.
“No.”
But even as he denied me, his fingers slid between my thighs. He tickled my clit, and I cried out. I was close to coming, so close.
Slowly, he caressed my hot, sensitive folds, making me shudder and squirm.
“God no, no more teasing,” I muttered.
He laughed. “Imagine this is me about to go inside you.” His body curled over mine until I felt his breath in my ear. “Me penetrating you. Giving you pleasure with my body.”
His fingers stretched me wide as they slipped in. I gasped and squirmed, but he held me down firmly, his palm pressed against the small of my back.
It was easy to imagine Kai pushing inside me. The image in my mind made me moan, made my channel hum with little pulses, squeezing his fingers tight within me.
“It’ll be better than this, Lacey. More. Nothing in our lives will feel better, nothing will feel more right.”
It felt so damn good, but I knew, to the depths of my soul, that what he said was true.
He continued to move his fingers inside me, stroking me to insanity. I tossed my head back and forth. I drove backwards into him, wanting, needing more.
“I need you,” I murmured. “Please, Kai.” I was close, so damn close.
He thrust into me a little harder now. He curled his fingers, brushing over a sweet spot inside me. The sensation was so strong, it made me freeze. I was going to come. I was on the edge, one foot stepped off the precipice—
“No.”
He withdrew. I heaved in a great gulp of a breath, on the verge of mindlessness.
“Come to me, Lacey. In the flesh. Only I can satisfy you tonight.”
“No!”