She sobbed and shook and tried to roll her body as tight as it could go, and after a moment when her body became chilled, she burrowed into the thick, possibly filthy curtains, and she didn’t care. She was so lost in her own little hell, she didn’t hear the door open, but she did hear the loud curse that came between one of her sniffled sobs.
“Oh, fuck!”
Chapter Eighteen
Connor dropped his crutches and the bottle of wine he had been haphazardly juggling all the way down the hall, and hobbled to her, dropping to his knees. He pulled back the curtains and yanked his pitiful little half-naked girl up and onto his lap, holding her firmly against his chest as he sagged against the wall. She only sobbed harder as she pressed into his chest and curled into an even tighter ball, her head squeezing into his hip.
“What’s wrong, baby? I’m sorry it took me so long. I was trying to carry a bottle of wine and dropped the cups, so just said screw it. I hurried, I promise. Please talk to me.”
“I, I, I c-c-can’t,” she wailed through stuttered breaths and sobs.
“Okay, we don’t have to talk. I’m going to hold you now. Sh, sh, sh.” He rubbed her back and made garbled noises that made absolutely no sense, a combination of vowels and consonants done to different rhythms and patterns. Trying to calm his own racing heart, he slowed his incoherent noises, and started a beach-like pattern. “Sh, sh, shhhhhh, waves are lapping at the beach, baby. It’s nighttime and you and I are out walking in the moonlight. Sh, sh, sh.” He patted her head, ran his fingers down her wet cheeks, repeating the pattern. “Sh, sh, sh. A crab just scurried between your feet, little girl. You squealed and jumped up into my arms.”
“But that’s dumb,” she grumbled, her voice soft and muffled. “I’m not afraid of crabs.”
“No. Shhhhh, you’re not. That’s why you just got back down. You cocked your head to the side and gave the most adorable pout that showed me you’re kind of angry with yourself for getting frightened. Don’t worry, sh, sh, sh…”
She snuggled back into his arms, loosening a bit. “Then what?”
“Well, I don’t have to hold you. You’re such a brave, big girl. Go ahead. Sh, sh, sh.”
Her brow furrowed, her eyes remained tightly closed. “I’m going to try to catch one. Stay close.”
“Of course.”
“Where’d my ocean go, Daddy?”
“Sorry, baby. Sh, sh, shhhhh. Go ahead. Dig through the dirt. Find something cool. I’ll be right here. Sh. Shh.”
Her face calmed and she finally relaxed her body. “I don’t feel like it anymore. I just wanted to be able to if I wanted to.”
He continued his whooshing sounds while stroking her puffy, tear-streaked cheeks. “You can do anything you put your mind to. You’re the bravest, strongest woman I’ve ever met. And I would never stop you from doing something you wanted to do.”
“But what if I want you to stop me?” Her eyes opened and more tears sprang free as she looked hopelessly up at him.
“Then you’re going to have to tell me. I will give you what you ask for, and what I think you need. But never without your permission.” He shushed and stroked as she leaned into his hand and sat up slowly.
“So what if I want it all, but maybe not all, and maybe not all the time, and maybe sometimes, but definitely not never, or other people or benefits. Not benefits.”
“I think I need some clarification, please. I’m not quite understanding Pippish right now, though I usually can. Sorry.”
She giggled, but sat up and looked at him sadly again. “I don’t know what I want.”
She looked so pitiful and tired and vulnerable, it almost broke his heart. “Then tell me what you don’t want.”
“But what if you don’t agree or you don’t feel the same way? Then I’ll feel like an idiot, like when I kissed you.”
“God, Pip, that was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life.”
Tears welled in her eyes and she tried to wrench herself out of his grasp, but he pulled her back into his chest firmly. “Oh, no, little girl. No more running away from me. Even if I do say something stupid. Okay?” He tightened his grip on her, and she stayed on his lap with a sad grumble. “Okay, we both can agree I am not the most well-spoken. I suck at flowery romantic stuff, and I am no good at talking to women.”
“Understatement much?” she grumbled, elbowing him a bit harder than a tap into his ribs.
“Yeah, brat. Now let me continue. What I was going to say was that I made a mistake by pulling away.”
She went stiff in his arms.
“I wanted so badly to hold you all night, kiss every inch of your body, and take away your sadness, dry your tears. I wanted to make love to you and make all your hurt go away. But I made it worse. You were still so young, and you were hurting, and I—”
“You didn’t want to take advantage of me in my vulnerable state,” she interrupted, her voice devoid of emotion.
“Yeah, I was an idiot, but a well-meaning one. Can you forgive me?”
She nodded.
“Now will you tell me what you want?”
Her head shook hard and fast, almost catching him in the chin.
“Okay, I’ll tell you what I don’t want.” He held her head still and pushed her back down so she could nestle safely in his chest without the threat of a head to jaw injury. “I don’t want to walk out of here after this weekend, and pretend we never did this. I don’t want to be just your friend, or just your partner, or just the cute guy who always kicks your ass on the mats.”
“Hey!” Her head shot up, and he thanked his intuition to maneuver her lower. “You don’t always kick my ass.”
“Every time, Pip. Every time. Except for the time I spanked your ass.” He grinned when she hrumphed into his chest. “And guess what? I like it. A lot. I like you writhing under me, my whole weight pinning you down, holding you in place, so you’re mine to do with as I please.” He flipped her off his lap and down onto her back on the floor, and pinned her hands above her head into one of his hands.
“Watch your ankle, God of the mats.” Her eyes became lidded and a flush heated her cheeks. “I don’t want you to get hurt again.”
“And I don’t want you to get hurt, so we are agreed. So here’s my proposition.” He nipped her nose, then keeping his legs straddled, he hovered over her. “I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to be just your friend or coworker. But I also don’t want you to fear losing your identity to an interesting relationship and strong partner. Pick a date and time.”
“Um, six months from now, midnight.”
“Okay. You agree to be my girl for the next six months. Until midnight.”
“What would being your girl,” she enunciated the title through thick, slurred lips, “entail exactly?”
“Hmmm.” He leaned down and ran his tongue up her neck and over her chin, delighting in her tiny shivers. “It means when we are working, we each do our own thing. You kick ass, I kick ass.”
“We both kick ass, that sounds n-nice,” she stuttered as he ran his tongue across her earlobe.
“At night or when off duty, we become a couple. We can stay at either place, whichever’s cleaner.” She frowned at his friendly jab at her messy apartment. “When either of us has needs that need to be met, we express it. Sometimes, I want to spank your ass and fuck you until we both pass out. I want you to suck my cock and call me sir, get on your knees, let me explore every inch of your body.”
He inclined his head, giving her a chance to speak.
“Sometimes, I might call you Daddy or snuggle up on your lap. I want you to call me baby and little girl. I want different things from it, but almost always sexual release at some point.”
“Good. What else?
Her face flushed. “Sometimes.” He could barely hear her soft whisper. “Sometimes, I might want you to just hold me, and tell me what not to do. Maybe not sexually. But just a calming down period. And I think I like it when you spank me really hard
. I also like being embarrassed. But not humiliated.” She sat up. “If you ever treat me that way in front of anyone at the precinct, I’d—”
“Never.” He cut her off. “I promise. Our relationship will stay away from work. Unless you want me to spank you on the mats again?”
She grinned. “Maybe. But only if no one is around. And you don’t mean it as you’re better than me.”
“I could never think of myself as better than you. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. And I’d be a fool to let you go.”
“So you really want me?”
“Yes. Let’s take some time and see where it leads, and renew our contract at midnight in six months.”
“Oh.”
“You chose the time and date, Pip. Do you want to tweak it?”
She looked at the curtain she had fled into earlier and bit her lip, shaking her head. “No, it’s all cool. Take the time, see what happens. Go our separate ways if it doesn’t work out. Yeah…”
“I don’t think I made myself clear enough for you, young lady, so—” He flipped her over onto her stomach and started smacking her panty-clad bottom with hard swats that echoed throughout the room. She could have shimmied out of his grip at any time, especially given his injured ankle precariously positioned off to the side. But she stayed put and mewled with each firm swat. “I want you, young lady. All of you. Better, worse, death, sickness, health, all that. Are you listening to me?”
“Oh, God, ouch!” she shrieked and put a hand back to cover her poor thighs, but he just grabbed it, put it onto her back, and continued peppering the back of her legs. “I’m listening!”
“Okay.” He rubbed her pink thighs and bottom, and sat down to pull her over his lap.
“If we’re talking, why am I still in this position?” she mumbled.
“Because you listen better in this position, Pip.” He smacked her right cheek and she hissed. “Okay, so where was I?”
“I think you were doing the shittiest job of proposing I ever heard!”
He couldn’t stop the chuckle and rubbed her bottom with a loud laugh. “Yeah, I guess it was. I want you forever, Pip. But I’m giving you an out, just in case you get scared or bored.”
“How could I possibly get bored with you, you big lug? And by the way, if I get scared, you’re supposed to be a good daddy and, and help me through it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Well, I’m not sure if I will always want to be spanked, or call you Daddy, or do whatever kinky thing you come up with next. But I am sure I want to be with you.”
“You want me?”
“Yes, I’ve always wanted you. I just might want different things at different times, but I always come back to you. You’re like a sir daddy slash lover slash best friend. And I want all of it.” Her eyes swam with tears. “I want you. My Connor. My daddy. My partner. My everything.”
He grabbed her to pull her up onto his lap, and kissed her firmly on the lips, silencing them both for a moment. “God, I love you so much, Pip. So do you want to marry me now, or wait six months and decide then?”
“Are you kidding?” She arched an eyebrow and her mouth formed an O.
“I’m dead serious. I’ll take you back out to that ballroom and marry you with the entire chapter as witnesses. Fred is an ordained minister.”
“No freaking way! The dude with the stretched lobes and the tongue ring?”
“Yeah, we had a long chat the night you disappeared.”
“But it wouldn’t be legal, would it? Don’t we have to fill out paperwork and get a license and all that stuff? Do bloodwork?”
“We could just get it done after the fact.”
“Sorry, but your cousin would kill us. Let’s, um, wait six months.”
His heart felt like it had shriveled up and died right in his chest, but he put on a neutral expression so she wouldn’t see how disappointed he was. “Okay, you’re right. One day at a time. We can revisit the relationship in six months.”
“Don’t be an idiot,” she said, punching him hard in the shoulder, grinning. “Of course I want to marry you. But Gabby and I have to find a great dress, and OMG, I need bridesmaids. I have the perfect girls. I wonder what colors they’ll look good in. I’ll probably have to do that torture place again and wax everything. Oh, hell, I don’t know if six months are enough. How am I going to get it perfect in six months?”
He pulled her back down over his lap and started spanking her with hard, crisp swats.
“Ow, ow, what?”
“Now that I know I have a Bridezilla on my hands, I’m just practicing how I’m going to keep you from going crazy. Hold on, let me practice a bit more.” He grinned, pulled her panties down to her ankles, and rubbed her pink globes, squeezing and kneading them.
“Okay, Daddy, you’d better practice a lot, because I plan on being extra Bridezilla-y, just to keep you on your toes.” Her eyes lit up mischievously, and she wriggled her bare bottom over his lap.
“Baby girl, you’re going to be standing a lot this next six months.” He brought his hand down hard and watched the nice blotchy handprint appear in the center of her cheeks.
She moaned and wiggled and raised her ass for more, and he supplied it with gusto. Over and over again, his hard slaps echoed through the room along with her soft moans.
“We’ll have to plug you for the wedding, obviously.” He tapped her small puckered opening and watched her shiver. “I’d hate for you to be too wound up. We’ll start practicing soon, but first…” He pulled her legs apart, letting them splay out on the bed, her engorged, wet lips begging for his touch. “I have a question for you, Alexis.” He trailed his finger down her legs to circle her swollen clit, causing her to buck and shimmy over his lap.
“Y-yes, I’m all ears.”
“Will you accept me as your sir, best friend, partner, husband, and Daddy, even if one of us pukes or leaves disgusting snotty tissues under the pillow or leaves the toilet seat up, loses our retirement fund on a horse named Gallant Man, until one of us dies a grisly and gruesome death?”
“Holy hell, you suck at this!” She laughed and humped his leg. “But yeah, if you’re asking me to marry you, the answer is officially yes. Now please do something before I die a gruesome death right over your lap.”
He couldn’t stop the belly-shaking laugh that bubbled out of him. “Okay, we’re on the same sheet of music. I’ll get you a ring tomorrow. But first…” He stroked her engorged lower lips and alternated between stroking and spanking her beautiful ass as she moaned into the comforter.
“Harder, Daddy. God, please.” She sounded breathless as she stuttered her request while humping his knee for all she was worth.
Harder. He loved this woman so much. “Okay, baby girl. Daddy’s going to give you a long, hard spanking for being such a crabby little thing on the drive over.” He spanked her harder and harder, until his hand started hurting, then paused to shake out his hand. Her ass was glowing red now, and she had drenched his jeans.
“Almost… there… Please… Daddy. Please get the grumpies out of your naughty little girl.” She pouted up at him, her cheeks flushed from exertion, her eyes dilated and shining.
Picking her up, he stood her on her feet and bent her over the bed. “Don’t move.”
He raced into the bathroom and grabbed a wet washcloth, then took his small wooden paddle out of his overnight bag. She hadn’t moved, but her chest was heaving with tiny, fast breaths. “You okay, Pip?”
“Ungh.” She shimmied her hips and flashed her wet pussy at him, letting him know exactly what she needed.
“You are so beautiful. Your red ass, naked and hot waiting for me to punish it some more. Someday, I’m going to take you back there. Not yet,” he said at her sudden inhalation. “But someday.” He took the washcloth and laid it over her warm bottom cheeks. “This should add a bit more heat to your naughty girl time. Are your ready for your punishment?”
“Yes, yes. Please. Sir.”
; He brought the wooden paddle down directly onto the wet washcloth and she howled. “Do you think Daddy likes when his little girl is grumpy and pouts and frowns and uses sarcasm to express herself?”
He spanked her again on the right cheek. The loud, wet splat rang in his ears right before another loud moan. He brought the paddle down again, harder this time, on her left side and she shrieked.
“I asked you a question, young lady. Want me to repeat the question?”
“No!” she shouted, but raised her ass up for more. “I’m sorry I was so grumpy. Please, no more, I’ll be a good girl.”
“You’ll be a good girl all right. After I punish your naughty bottom. You won’t be sitting well for the rest of your party tonight, will you?”
She grunted into the blanket, but stayed in position for his next hard swat. “Ow, Daddy, it hurts!” she wailed and tried to cover her bottom cheeks with her hands.
Pulling her hands up to the small of her back, he paused a moment to let her catch her breath. “Color, Pip.”
“Greeeeeeeeeen,” she moaned loudly, her face flushed, her cheeks wet with tears. “Almost th-th-there.”
He had been afraid he was taking her too far, going too hard. But her verbal reply, combined with her perfect position of raised ass, begging for more… She was perfect for him, her masochistic side matching his need to dominate her so fully, he thought he might burst with joy.
“Five more, young lady. These are going to be the hardest yet. Do you want me to hold your hand?”
“Yes, please.” She reached her open hand for his, and he clasped it into his palm gently against her back.
“Okay, repeat after me. ‘I won’t be grumpy with my Daddy.’” He brought the paddle down into the center of her bottom cheeks and she moaned and clenched.
“I won’t be grumpy with my Daddy.”
“Next one, say, ‘I’m sorry for being such a little meanie.’” He spanked her again, and she howled in pain.
“I’m sorry for being such a little meanie, Daddy!”
“Third one, young lady. ‘I’ll always be pleasant around Daddy.’”
Undercover Daddy Page 17