"It's true," I said. "I just don’t understand how this keeps happening.”
"Neither do I," he said, pulling me closer.
I laid my head on his shoulder and John stroked my hair.
"Have you ever felt useless?" I asked.
"All the time," John answered. "For some reason, our only strategy is defense. The hunter is careful. We never have information to find him. It's incredibly frustrating.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to find as little hope as possible, but it was difficult. John kissed the top of my head.
"But we'll find a way, won’t we?" I asked.
"Of course, we will. We always do.”
There it was. The spark of hope I needed.
“You promise?” I said, looking at him.
"I promise," he assured me and kissed me slowly.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
John and I spent the rest of the day listening to Isys talk about the preparations for her party. It distracted us and took the hunter momentarily out of our minds. Before bed, I went to check on Runne. I still hadn’t spoken to her today.
The room was no longer as dark as before. At first, I insisted on letting the light in, but Runne had begun to get used to it and maybe even like it. She was sitting at the foot of the bed, drawing in a large notebook. Runne lifted her face to look at me and winced.
"Why didn’t you bring me dessert today?" She asked.
I sat down beside her, admiring the shades of green on the paper. She changed the chalks quickly, creating a tangle of colors. Many other sheets with similar designs were on the floor.
"I was kind of busy," I said. “I’m sorry.”
“Doesn’t matter. When you didn’t show up, I went to fetch it myself.”
I took my eyes off the drawings and stared at her.
"You left the room?" I asked. "Without anyone needing to insist?"
She nodded and I smiled. I noticed that all the drawings seemed to have the same content, shades of green, brown and similar ones.
"You want to take my drawings?" Runne asked.
I looked at her quickly.
“What?” I asked.
"You said I should tell you about my visions. I was going to give you these drawings when you came to bring my dessert, but you didn’t come.”
The drawings had no shape. They were just scribbles. But I wasn’t going to discourage Runne. I would enjoy that she was beginning to share.
"Thank you, Runne," I said, smiling. "You know, Isys is having a party here at the hotel. Everyone will help decorate and prepare the party. It'll be fun. You should come.”
"I bet she insisted on everyone's help," Runne said with a smile on her face.
"Yes, she insisted. Want to help?”
"Listening to Isys for a whole day is not my idea offun, but since it's you who's asking me, I’ll go," she said, running the chalk one last time on the sheet.
Runne took the sheet she was drawing, joined it with all the others, and handed it to me. I took the papers and got up. Runne sat down on the bed again.
"I just wanted to see how you were," I said. "I should go to sleep. Something tells me that tomorrow and the day after we will have a lot to do. You should rest too.”
She smiled and nodded.
“Good night, Runne.”
"Good night, Elizabeth.”
I walked to the door and stopped with the hand on the doorknob when Runne called my name.
“Yes?” I asked.
"Thank you," she said, looking awkward and staring into her hands.
“For what?”
"Before you came to live here, everyone avoided me like the plague," Runne said with a sad expression. "When I began to have visions, everyone turned away from me. No one had the will — or the patience — to try and understand what was happening to me. They were afraid of what I could say and afraid they wouldn’t know how to talk to me. Even the pseudo friends that I had forgotten about me completely. So, thank you for caring when nobody else did.”
I smiled and went over to her. I held her tight for a while.
"I'm sorry people have let you down," I said. “It’s their loss. You are a great friend.”
"I am, aren’t I?" Runne said.
We said goodbye and I went back to John's room. When I got to the bedroom I put the drawings in the drawer of the bedside table. He left the bathroom while I closed the drawer.
“What’s that?” He asked.
"Just a few of Runne drawings."
I sat up in bed, thinking about what Runne had said. I can’t imagine everyone giving up on you for something you had no control over. It must have been lonely for her.
“What is wrong?” John asked, sitting on the bed.
"Runne just told me how it was when she gained her power. Everyone gave up on her. She was completely alone.”
"Well, we didn’t give up. We just didn’t know what to do. And shortly afterwards she simply isolated herself in that room and didn’t leave.”
"Yeah, because there was no one to support her.”
I thought about how the other Chosen Ones were the only ones who could understand — remotely — what was happening to her.
"I’m sorry John said.
"No, I'm not the one who needs apologies.”
In my mind the situation was similar to mine and Liam's. He had disappointed me. The idea that someone who loved me so much — as he himself said — could give me up so easily made me feel sick.
"You're right," John said. “We should have been more understanding.”
I nodded my head.
"You could make up to her by starting to treat her like one of us. I know you don’t treat her badly like Maena, — and don’t worry, I'll talk to her too — but you don’t treat her normally either. You’re always doubting her ability.”
"Done," he said with a crooked smile.
"Good," I said.
"Sorry," John repeated.
"I already told you..." I began.
"I know, and I'll talk to her too, but I'm sorry I disappointed you.”
"You've never let me down, John. And I can’t expect you to be perfect, because there is no such thing. You're going to make a mistake, I'm going to make a mistake. Is life.”
I kissed him quickly and started getting ready to bed. I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth, and changed the bandage from my hand to a new one. I went back to bed and John was reading a history book. I smiled at the sight. He looked focused.
I lay down on the bed and fell asleep quickly. It had been a long time since I'd slept all night without being interrupted by the nightmare, but tonight wasn’t the case. I woke up at dawn with the terrifying image coming back to haunt me, but this time I didn’t find only the grandmother dead; John and Emma also shared the same fate.
The clock ticked 3:24 a.m. I looked to the side and John slept peacefully with the history book in his hands. I was relieved to at least not have woken him up. I lay down again, trying to go back to sleep, but after a few minutes I gave up. Every time I closed my eyes the image returned as vivid as possible. I got up trying not to make a noise and went to the bathroom. I washed my face and tied my messy hair. I realized that I had forgotten that there was a bandage on my hand, which was now completely wet. I took it out to find that the cut was now just a pink stripe. I was surprised for only a second until I remembered how fast my other injuries had healed.
I changed my nightgown into a pair of shorts and a blouse and left the room. I went downstairs and went straight to the kitchen. It was strange to see the hotel so quiet. I was already accustomed to the constant buzz of conversations. I turned on the light and went straight to the coffee machine. I put the water and the coffee and waited. A few minutes later I was having my coffee with an old toast that was in the cupboard.
As I drank the coffee and nibbled on the toast, I violently expelled the images that continued to appear in my mind. But I couldn’t stop wondering why the nightmare had come back after so lo
ng. Probably because of yesterday's disaster. Because again we had no clue and the hunter continued to frighten us.
A few minutes later — after putting off as much as possible — I finished drinking my coffee and started thinking about what to do. I thought about running or training in the training room, which always made me feel better, but I wasn’t in the mood for it. I looked around and saw a pink binder on a counter. I opened and I came across all of Isys' plans for her party. Photos of decorations, flower arrangements, dresses and food. I smiled with variety and meticulousness.
I stopped in the cakes section and I went through each page slowly. Isys had reduced the list to her favorite cakes. Lemon and Blueberry, Chocolate, Red Velvet, Salted Caramel and a few others. I smiled again as an idea entered my mind.
I opened the refrigerator to make sure we had all the ingredients, and upon confirming, I began to put them on the counter. I decided I would make a small cake of each flavor so it wouldn’t take too long.
I worked making sure not to make any noise. The last thing I wanted was to wake someone up. Little by little the finished, simply decorated cakes remained on the counter waiting for the next ones. Between the intervals of cakes coming out and into the oven, I took a few more cups of coffee. Probably more than I should.
While I waited for the coconut cake to come out of the oven, I heard a noise and raised my head slightly. John, Zal, Isys, and a few others stared at me from the kitchen door. I looked at the counter and saw that it already had six cakes on it. Isys seemed to ignore everything else and headed straight for the cakes. She began to read the little plaques that I had placed in front of each one with its specifications. Flavor, filling and frosting. The rest of the people did the same. John came straight at me. I stood up from the stool and stared at him, trying to smile.
“What are you doing?” He asked, looking slightly worried about my sanity.
"Baking cakes," I said, pointing to the counter.
"I noticed that, but why?" He looked around. “How long have you been here? When I woke up and didn’t see you there I was worried.”
"I think..." I stopped and looked at the big clock on the wall. “About five hours.”
“What happened?”
"The nightmare," I explained. "I've had it again.”
"Liz..." He looked worried.
"And now you're in it, too."
John hugged me. We stood there for a few minutes. Just to see him standing, alive and close to me already made me feel better. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer.
"I can’t believe you did this!" I heard from a distance and let go of John slowly.
Isys was coming toward me with a smile on her face.
"Sorry," I said, now realizing that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. “I couldn’t sleep and I saw your binder...”
“Are you kidding? That was exactly what I needed. Thanks.”
I smiled, relieved that she wasn’t upset. She hugged me, pulling me hard against her.
"And you're making the cake tomorrow too, of course.”
"Of course," I said, smiling.
It seemed that some people didn’t care that it was still early, because some cakes already had slices missing. Isys turned around and gasped loudly.
“Are you people crazy?” She shouted. “I haven’t even tried it yet! Out!”
Isys went out to yell at people who were now hurrying from the kitchen. John looked back at me and hugged me again.
"I'm sorry, Liz," he said when he released me. "I wish I could help you somehow.”
"You do help me. So Much. Just stay here,” I said taking his hand.
John lifted his thumb and caressed my cheek.
"Your face is full of flour," he said, laughing.
I grimaced, wiping my face.
"And you’re still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
John left me and opened a drawer, taking a fouet from inside. He came back with a smile on his face.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
"I'm going to help you," he said.
I stared at him in disbelief, thinking he was joking. He kept looking at me seriously. It wasn’t a joke.
"You don’t have to. I'm already finishing up.”
"But I want to," he said, lightly touching my arm. "This clearly calms you down, since you've been doing this for five hours without a break."
I smiled.
"So I want to be with you. I want to help.”
"All right," I said. "But if you burn something, I'll kick you out of the kitchen."
"Deal," he said, laughing. "But you're going to need to teach me because I don’t know how to do any of this."
"I figured," I said, smiling.
A few hours later we’d finished and the cakes made were on the counter for the tasting. Isys had already warned that no one would eat anything until she had tasted everything herself. When John and I left the kitchen, we didn’t have a minute's rest. We walked into the lounge and everyone who could help was preparing the hotel for the party. Balloons, strings of lights, flowers, tables and more occupied all the space. We joined them immediately and began to help.
A short time later, Runne joined us as well. I was at the top of a ladder, hanging the strings of lights on the walls and John was down below passing them to me. Runne arrived quietly and simply made herself useful. Isys passed by occasionally giving orders to everyone, but most of the time she was too busy even for that.
"Here, you need to put this in the middle there," Zal said an hour.
Still at the top of the stairs I looked down and saw that Zal had in his hands a huge chandelier with countless branches of smaller lights. It was almost three times his width.
"I don’t know how to do that," I said.
"You just have to fit in. Then someone can handle the wiring,” he explained. "That chandelier was already there before, but they took it because they were afraid someone would break it."
"Someone ..." John said with a smile.
"Right, they were afraid I would break it," Zal confessed.
"All right," I said, smiling.
I climbed down the ladder and positioned it in the middle of the hall looking up and realizing for the first time the chandelier's socket on the high ceiling. I climbed the first step and waited for John to bring the chandelier.
"Ah." Zal started to laugh. "Sorry, man, but you can’t handle it. It's too heavy.”
John frowned but stepped back and Zal passed. He handed me the chandelier — which didn’t look heavier than a bottle of water — and I climbed the ladder to fit it.
When John left to help the others bring some groceries g in, Maena joined me as I set the tables in place. We worked in silence and in synchrony. While Zal and I moved the tables — which we did alone to save time — Maena and Runne put towels and flower arrangements.
"This one's ready," I said after putting one more in its proper place.
Maena came with a towel and a vase of flowers. She started to clean the table and I stared at her for a few moments. I tried to see what was different about her. It was subtle, but I couldn’t figure out what it was and it was bothering me.
Only when I took my eyes off her did I find out. Her hair was shorter. Ever since I met her, her hair looked the same. Shaved, but of a size that still allowed a little volume. Now it was possible to see her scalp.
“I cut shorter today," Maena said, making me look away with embarrassment.
"Sorry," I said, looking at her. “I didn’t mean to stare.”
She smiled and went back to work.
Suddenly I wondered if I would have the courage to do the same. It didn’t take me a moment to realize I wouldn’t have. My hair was part of my identity. Every time I looked in the mirror, I saw my mother. That was the biggest part of her in me. I wouldn’t dare let this go.
"Why do you do that?" I asked for the surprise of the two of us.
Maena looked at me and then at the floor. I thought she was wonderin
g if she would answer or tell me it was none of my business. After a sigh, she began to speak.
"I grew up with just my mother. My father didn’t survive the Orcus War, so only the two of us came to this land. As far as I remember, nothing I did was good enough for her. I didn’t have enough friends. I didn’t know Pacem's story enough. Didn’t know about the gods enough. Nothing pleased her. And even if you know that someone's approval doesn’t matter, deep down you're still going to want it. And I just found out that her approval didn’t matter much later. People don’t know that abuse is not just physical violence. Well, people who don’t go through it don’t know. Words and actions can hurt as much as a punch.”
"She had a particular obsession with my appearance. My clothes. My long, curly hair was something she was proud of. I hated. I hated every inch of it. "
"I just wanted to be who I was and not who she wanted me to be. So, the day I turned 18, I packed a backpack, wrote a note explaining everything to Torim, and left. I had no idea where I was going, but I was sure I wouldn’t be in the same house as her. After hitchhiking to the bus stop, I took the only money I had and bought a ticket away from here. "
"At one of the bus stops, I accidentally entered the men's room and saw a guy cutting his hair. I borrowed the machine and right there, with the help of that stranger, I cut all my hair. I thought I was going to feel sad, but on the contrary, I smiled for the first time in a long time. For the first time in my life I felt free."
Maena smiled as she told the story.
“And you mother?” I asked.
"A few weeks later I gained my power and returned to Heaven Valley. When I got here she was gone.”
"But do you know where she is now?"
"No. And I've never been interested in knowing. It doesn’t matter if someone shares your blood. You don’t have to live with someone who’s not good for you.”
I stared at her, not knowing what to say.
I had just seen a completely new side of Maena, something she never let it show. Apparently, she was doing a great job of leaving that part of her life behind. After this courageous revelation I found myself liking her more. I couldn’t help myself.
We adjusted every detail as Isys instructed us and by the end of the day virtually all the decor was ready. I was happy to see Runne talking to other people and smiling. At the end of the day Isys came into the hall.
The Chosen Ones: Red Smoke Page 22