Painted Memories

by Flowers, Loni

  Being patient was a virtue my father didn’t possess, and I could float out here forever, if I had to.

  I woke up to the chill of the cool air on my skin and rested for a moment before rubbing the goose bumps that spread across my arms. It wasn’t my intention to fall asleep, but the warmth of the sun and my sleep deprivation told my body otherwise. Turning my head to the right, wispy clouds floated above the tree line, filling the horizon in a pale orange and shell-pink glow. It was stunning and I thought how beautifully Drew could draw it in one of his paintings, given the chance. Night fell and blanketed the sky in navy blue silk, while white pinholes pricked its fabric, allowing twinkling lights to escape through the holes.

  I bolted upright when the boat rammed into something hard with a “thud!” I saw that I had somehow managed to drift back into the pier. Stranger still, a rope anchored the front of my boat to a hook on the dock. I peered up to see Drew sitting cross-legged at the edge, watching me.

  “Hey,” he sighed, his elbows leaning on his thighs.

  “Hi.”

  “Sleep well?” he asked.

  I thought about it for a moment. My back was a bit stiff, but other than that, I did. “Actually yes, I didn’t mean to fall asleep though.”

  “Well, you must have needed it then. Are you hungry?”

  I was ravenous. “A little,” I said, not wanting to seem too eager.

  Drew grinned, the corners of his lips turned up slightly as he raised his brow. He knew I was lying. He stood up and walked over to the ladder, where he squatted down and reached out for my hand. Getting up slowly, the boat started rocking from side to side as I grabbed his hand. The more I moved, the more the boat rocked, and I had to leap onto the ladder before I looked like a klutzy moron and tumbled in.

  I regained my bearings once on the dock and arched my back. Sleeping in the bottom of a boat wasn’t the best idea. Drew’s fingers twisted around mine and he nudged me down the pier to follow him. Under the gazebo, a couple of folded blankets lay on a table, along with a bag and a thermos. He led me to the wicker chair and released my hand for me to sit. Picking up the blanket, he wrapped it around my shoulders and I snuggled into its softness and warmth on my arms.

  “Where did you get all of this?” I asked.

  “Your mom was very helpful.”

  I bet she was. Thinking of her reminded me of my dad and his sudden demand that I listen to his every word. Fat chance. “Where’s my father?”

  Drew grabbed the bag from the table and reached inside. “You’re mom convinced him to leave the house for a bit. She made him take her to dinner and maybe a movie so that we could spend some time together… to talk.” He glanced up at me briefly before pulling his hand out of the bag. He handed me a tinfoil-wrapped square that felt cool in my hands.

  “She did what? But they aren’t even together anymore. What about Earl?”

  Drew shrugged. “I don’t know. They have history together—your mom and dad—I’m sure it’s normal they still spend time together. They are still your parents, after all. Earl will just have to get over it, I guess. Let them worry about it.”

  Unwrapping the square, my mouth watered and I sighed as I bit into a thick ham and mayo sandwich.

  “Sorry, it’s just a sandwich.”

  “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

  After we finished our sandwiches, Drew picked up the thermos, filled two plastic cups, and handed me one. It was warm and I sipped carefully when I brought the cup to my lips. Warm chocolate mocha filled my mouth and heated my body as I swallowed. I smiled and leaned back into the chair, reveling in the comfort.

  We drank in silence, neither of us really knowing what to say. He sat in the chair across from me, and we both gazed out at the darkening sky as a crescent moon rose beyond the treetops. I was happy he was here, but for the life of me, I couldn’t understand why. At times, he seemed to only be an observer in my crazy world; and other times, he seemed compelled to make a snide comment here or there when I blew up over something. I probably deserved the comments, but if he didn’t care either way, why did he bother staying here? What was in it for him? Amusement? I had to ask, there was no way around it.

  Chapter 27

  I set my cup on the table in an effort to prepare myself for whatever came next. “Why are you still here?” I asked.

  Drew sighed and kept staring out at the stars. “I’ve wondered the same thing at times.”

  “You’re being nice to me, why?”

  “I’m trying to give you the benefit of the doubt.”

  “Well, you shouldn’t.”

  He frowned. “Why do you say that?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you. I’m damaged goods, Drew. I have way too much baggage.”

  Drew fixed me with a pointed stare. “It’s not the baggage that’s the problem. It’s how you and the people in your life carry it. That’s usually how it works in a relationship… most relationships anyway.”

  “Why can’t you just yell at me—like everyone else? It’s okay if you want to, I’m a big girl. I can handle it. No need to restrain yourself.”

  “Yelling does nothing and it’s unnecessary,” he stated it simply, as if it were a known fact.

  I stood up and started pacing back and forth between our chairs. I didn’t know what it was. I felt like he was letting me off too easy. It couldn’t be that simple. Six months from now—if we were still together—something would happen and all the strife from the last couple of days would be dredged up. I didn’t want that. It was better to go ahead and get it all out in the open.

  “So yelling at you in front of your friends and colleagues was okay?” I asked. “Running away and accusing you of leaving me was okay too?”

  He shrugged his shoulders again. “It happened. I’ve chosen to let it go. You’re going through a lot right now. It’s understandable.”

  Damn him for his acceptance. I wanted to see some emotion from him. If he cared, why didn’t he show it? Just being here wasn’t good enough. “Well, if you’re so understanding about everything so far, what’s up with all your snide comments?”

  Drew didn’t speak for a moment. He stood and moseyed over to the far side of the gazebo, leaning against the rail that faced the water. “I’m not perfect either, or so it seems.”

  Damn straight he wasn’t. “I didn’t say you had to be, but you didn’t just ‘let things go’ either. Can you imagine how I felt when I came into the kitchen this morning and saw you making casual conversation with my father? Have you forgotten how he treated me over the last five years?”

  He turned toward me, his face shadowed with the moon behind him. “We had words yet still managed to be as nice as possible to each other.”

  What started as a decent conversation turned into something else entirely. It was pointless to talk to him about anything. The anger was boiling through me. “Yeah, the laughter coming from your mouth told me you were having a grand time. Less than twenty-four hours ago, he slapped the shit out of me. I guess you just forgot about that part, huh?” Fat, hot tears flooded my eyes and I quickly turned to walk away.

  Drew’s hand clamped around my upper arm and he spun me around. His eyes were fierce when he spoke. “If you think for a second that sitting across from your dickhead father was easy, then you don’t know me at all. Making light conversation while pretending to tolerate him wasn’t exactly how I chose to spend my morning.”

  I winced as his fingers pinched my arm and he released his hold. “I thought you two—” I managed to mumble.

  “What? Did you think we were discussing dinner arrangements? Telling knock-knock jokes? You’re sadly mistaken. You’ve got a real bad habit of jumping to conclusions, don’t you?” he said more as a statement than a question.

  It was my fault. I shouldn’t have said anything. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have presumed to know what your conversation was about.”

  Drew took a step closer and I moved back. Deja vu flashed th
rough my mind and I remembered when he confronted me in my classroom.

  When I didn’t say anything else, he continued. “You expected me to drop you like dead weight. I had sex with you, you said you loved me. Well, you can’t love someone you don’t trust and I’m wondering if what you said was just bullshit.”

  “Trust? What are you talking about? I never said I didn’t trust you.”

  “You didn’t have to say anything. I guess that’s the point, right? I mean, you obviously couldn’t trust me enough to tell me you were driving the car.”

  He had to be joking. “Seriously? I didn’t lie to you, I only omitted one of the details.”

  “You’re missing the point,” he sighed. “I understand your reasoning, but if you loved me like you say you do, you should have known, without a shadow of doubt, that I’d be here for you; but you didn’t give me the chance.”

  “You’re right. I didn’t. Excuse me for not announcing I killed my brother on your doorstep. I’m sure that would have made things ten times easier, right?” I was getting sarcastic now. Drew really knew how to push my buttons.

  “It doesn’t matter anymore, what’s done is done. Fact is, you didn’t have to tell me anything if you didn’t want to. I’ve never had to go through something so horrific, so I couldn’t complain about my feelings.”

  I gasped at his comment. “Feelings? Really? I wouldn’t know. You’ve never said what you feel for me. It’s pity… pity is why you’re still here. You don’t want to kick me while I’m down, so you’ll wait until everything’s blown over, and then you’ll dump me.” I closed my eyes briefly, feeling a warm tear slide down my cheeks. “People have been pitying me since Jesse died. I sure as hell don’t need you doing it.”

  His hand grabbed my shirt and he pressed me against one of the columns. “Wake the hell up, Lilly! I’m still here because I care. When will you realize there is someone here who loves every part of you— inside and out? Nothing else matters to me! I want to be here for you, no matter the circumstances. Even if it means listening to your father for two hours on how he royally screwed up his life. Or how he ruined his family and lost both of his children.”

  He was closer to me now than he’d been in two days. I couldn’t speak and held my arms stiffly against my sides. Drew’s gaze shifted from my eyes to my mouth, and I licked my lips unconsciously. I heard what he said about my father, and had plenty of time to deal with that later. Right now, he was standing in front of me, stunning me more with his confession. With his hips against me, his hand twisted tighter on my shirt. Peering at his face, the moon glinted off his eyes, and his irises twinkled like emeralds. I had to catch my breath.

  I reached for his shoulders, gripping his shirt in my hands and pulled him against me at the same time his mouth crushed my lips. Clasping my waist under my shirt, his tongue rushed past my lips, swirling with mine. His hands were soft, but firm, and he dug his fingers into my skin. He ignited me with his touch and I slid my hands across his chest until my fingers found the hem of his shirt. I pushed the fabric up, exposing his warm skin. Drew moved back slightly and wasted no time pulling it off. Stepping closer, his fingers grazed my hips and up my sides. My breathing was labored, and my hands shook in anticipation as time seemed to slow down. His fingers were extraordinarily sensual and he lifted my shirt up at a slow, agonizing pace. The further his hands rose, the faster my breathing became, until he pushed my arms up and removed my shirt. His fingers traced the side of my cheek and across my jaw. Holding my chin between his thumb and index finger, Drew lightly brushed his lips across my mouth as he stared into my eyes. I held my breath, unable to move, standing there in my bra under the stars, suddenly feeling intoxicated by his gaze.

  “Love finds us at different times, different moments in our lives. For some people, it happens gradually and grows over time. For others, it clamps down on their souls and won’t let go. It’s a unique feeling that won’t leave your heart. There’s no reason for it. She’s in your life; you can’t do or think of anything else, but her. You want to spend every moment in her company, even if it’s only to gaze upon her face and be close to her. You’re that for me, Lilly. When you walked into my apartment with my mail, you left with my heart. I’ve been in love with you since that moment, and nothing you’ve said or done has changed how I feel about you. Nothing ever will.”

  I couldn’t move and Drew’s dreamy eyes engaged mine, waiting for a response. His words felt like a marriage proposal without the ring. Silk, warm fingers brushed down the side of my neck and back up as the pad of his thumb swiped over my cheek. He cupped the side of my face and I pressed my hand into his, leaning into the comfort of his embrace. Closing my eyes, I reveled in the moment, replaying his words through my mind once more.

  Pulling his hand away, I flung myself against him, grasping his neck to pull him closer. Drew stumbled back slightly, as he closed his arms around me. I found his mouth on mine and we kissed deeply with hunger and necessity. Our tongues collided in a rhythmic motion, hot and vibrant, full of passion and longing. He tasted sweet and I melted in his arms, feeling dizzy the more we kissed. Drew grasped my hair with his hands, turning and pulling my head as he tasted my lips, nipping and tugging on them before spreading hot kisses along my jaw and down my neck. His lips slid over my shoulders as his fingers pulled away the straps of my bra. I arched my neck and moaned when his tongue swirled over my skin. My hands skimmed down the front of his chest, my fingers feeling the curve and bumps of his taut stomach. Further down my hands slipped until the tips of my fingers felt his jeans. I pressed my palm down the front and felt the hard erection that was begging for release. A half growl, half groan vibrated through him, and in an instant, I was hoisted up in his arms. His hands squeezed my butt, while his mouth peppered hard kisses over my chest and between my breasts.

  “Get the blankets,” I murmured with bated breath.

  Drew set me down and spun on his heels, reaching for the blankets he brought out with him. He grabbed the cushions from the two couches at the far side of the gazebo before spreading one blanket across it. It looked like a makeshift mattress, and even though we only had to walk through the yard to get to the guesthouse, this was so much more intimate. Making love to him here, under a blanket of stars, was about as romantic as I could ever imagine.

  While Drew was fussing with our blankets, I saved him some time and trouble by slipping out of my jeans and removing my bra. I left my panties on to give him something he could enjoy peeling off me. The cool air spread goose bumps over my skin, but I was far from cold. I approached Drew’s back and let my hands glide up and around, to the sides of his stomach. His skin was hot under my touch and I felt his breath catch when I pressed my bare breasts against his back. His body heat warmed my cold nipples, sending a tingle through me. I kissed his back and along his shoulders while my hands explored his stomach. Twisting the button on his pants, I slipped one hand inside and grasped his fully hard shaft. My mouth watered and my insides burned as I gripped it, sliding my fingers over the tip. Drew arched his back and groaned, his knees bending slightly. In one quick motion, he turned around, lifted me up and lay me on my back on our makeshift bed.

  “Damn woman… the things you do to me,” he said as he loomed over me with his hands on each side of my head. He placed one knee between my legs as his eyes washed over my body.

  I touched his soft cheek and disheveled hair, seeing his eyes wild with lust and longing. “So many things I could do,” I teased, “Yet, here again, I’m more naked than you.”

  Drew’s lips turned upwards as he ran the tip of his fingers over my hard nipples. He sat up and pulled another blanket from the table to drape across my chest. “You look chilly.”

  “You could fix that?” I pulled the blanket over my chest and sat up while he made quick work of removing every stitch of clothing on his body. He knelt in front of me, naked, his skin glowing in the pale moon. I wanted to taste every part of him. Drew pulled the blanket away, wrapping it behind m
y back and pressed me against him. His hand cupped my breast as he kissed my jaw down to my earlobe, before nipping and sucking it in his mouth.

  “I truly mean it, Lilly, I love you so much,” Drew whispered.

  I smiled at his softly spoken words. My fingers played with the ends of his hair at the back of his neck. I guided his head down lower to kiss me. His hands slid around my sides and down my back before going beneath my panties to grasp my butt. Sitting back, Drew pulled me onto his lap and I moaned, feeling his erection pressing against my center. I pushed my hips closer, moving back and forth, wincing as his fingers dug into my skin and he helped me move against him.

  Pushing my hips back slightly, Drew slipped his fingers beneath my panties and rubbed the tips of his fingers in my most sensitive place. I lifted my hips somewhat, urging him to give me more, and he didn’t disappoint. Long fingers slid into me and my hands clenched his shoulders as a current ran though my entire body. I rocked my hips back and forth, pushing him harder, deeper inside me. It wasn’t enough. I wanted more. I wanted it harder… faster. I wanted him to make me wither into a melted heap of sexual bliss by the time it was over.

  I kissed his neck, letting my tongue glide over his skin until I found his ear and flicked his lobe with my tongue. “More, Drew. I want more.”

  If my panties were anything besides lace, he wouldn’t have been able to rip them off my body like he did, leaving me completely naked before him. “I liked those,” I said with feigned disappointment.

  “I’ll buy you more,” he said in a low, husky tone.

  He let me push him back against the cushions on the floor, and I wasted no time climbing on top. There were so many things I wanted to do, to taste… but we had all night. Right now, I wanted to feel the length of him inside me. Deep and hard, fast and slow, until I couldn’t take anymore. I wrapped my fingers around his shaft. It seemed thicker and longer, as it pulsed with the need to please. I settled myself over it, letting only the tip inside. I gazed at Drew, whose eyes were wide with shock and marvel. It was a new side of me. I felt confident and brave, unashamed to take exactly what I wanted.