by Meryl Sawyer
She walked with him part way, then stopped. “I’ll see you again, won’t I? Before they operate, we’ll have a chance to talk.”
“We won’t be alone. Let’s say good-bye now.”
“We said it all last night, didn’t we?” She wanted to be upbeat even though she was on the verge of tears. “We love each other. You’re doing this to give us a chance at a real future, not just a few months.”
Gazing into his eyes, she saw the anguish and wished she could absorb his pain. Memories of his mother’s ordeal made him hate hospitals and doctors. She tried to say something comforting, but the words lodged in her throat.
He bent his head to give her a quick kiss, but she couldn’t resist throwing her arms around him and hugging him. Oh, how she wished he didn’t have to go through with this operation.
Pulling back, he looked at her, misery etching the masculine planes of his face. “Darling, you’ll never know how much I love you.”
The words sounded mangled, as if they’d been ripped from his throat. He turned and walked away from her without looking back. She watched this man, her love, until he disappeared around the turn in the hall.
Rooted to the spot, she stood there, whispering to herself. “It’s going to be all right. There’s nothing to worry about.”
With slow, measured steps she went down the corridor to the waiting room. Like the rest of the clinic, the waiting room seemed more like a wealthy person’s home than a hospital. The scent of roses filled the air, coming from large vases of cheery yellow blossoms. Comfy overstuffed chintz furniture was arranged so that visitors could watch the big-screen television or look at the view of the palm-lined shore.
She stood at the window, gazing at the waves as they gently tumbled across the golden sand. Matt’s surgery was scheduled for eleven and would last about three hours. It would be another two to three hours before he was out of recovery. It might as well be a thousand years.
“Shelly, we’re here.”
Hearing Trevor’s voice, she turned and saw him coming into the room with Emily. Even if she hadn’t known Trevor had planned to meet Emily’s plane, she would have realized this woman was Matt’s sister. They both had the same brown eyes flecked with amber and thick, dark hair.
They shared the same type of nose and square jaw, but Emily’s features were softer than Matt’s. Her gloss-brown hair fell to her shoulders with a slight wave that added to her feminine appeal.
As their eyes met, she recognized Matt’s inquisitive expression. She knew instantly that Emily despised her.
“It’s not too late to change your mind,” Clive told Matt.
He was in a bed, prepped for surgery. They had even shaven part of his head and painted it with iodine. He was one step from the operating room, but he could still back out.
“I’m going through with it. I just need to see my sister and Trevor first.”
Clive nodded. “Okay, I’ll get them.”
A few minutes later Emily rushed through the door. “Oh, Matt. I’m in shock. I can’t believe you’re doing this.”
“Em, stay calm.” He patted the bed. “Sit here a minute.”
She plopped down, tears misting her eyes. “You have a year … maybe longer. Enjoy life. Why take this chance? Why?”
“Did you talk to her?”
“To Shelly? Yes, a little. She seems different, but then all I had was one ugly encounter with her. I’ll never forget her saying she would kill me.”
“There’s a lot about her you don’t know.”
He wished he could tell his sister, but didn’t want to risk putting Amy in danger. A small slip, an unintentional one, could turn out to be a disaster. One of his worst fears about this surgery was that he wouldn’t be around to protect her, should something happen.
“On the phone you said you were in love with her. Then why not spend the next few months with her instead of having this dangerous operation?”
He took his sister’s hand in his and gently squeezed. “I want to spend the rest of my life with her, not just a few months. Can’t you understand that? This is the only chance I have. It’s a long shot, sure, but it is a chance. I have to take it.”
Emily slowly nodded as a tear seeped from one eye and dribbled down her cheek. “I guess I understand. Why didn’t you tell Shelly? Shouldn’t she have some say in this?”
“No. It’s my life. She would only try to talk me out of it.”
“There’s something I want to tell you.” Emily managed a smile even though her eyes were filled with tears. “I—I … we’re going to have a baby.”
“Hey, that’s great.” Emily had been trying for years to get pregnant. He knew how much she wanted a family. “I’m going to be an uncle.”
Then it hit him. He might never see the baby. The child would grow up, but he wouldn’t be around to see it. Oh, how he longed to see his sister with the child she had wanted for years.
“One day you will have kids and we’ll spend the summer at our place in Nantucket,” Em said, and he noticed she didn’t mention that they would be Shelly’s children.
“Right,” he said, praying that it would come true. “Look, I want to tell you—just in case—how much you mean to me. You raised me.”
“You raised yourself.”
“Okay, okay. The point is, I appreciate your steering me in the right direction. Without your encouragement I would never have applied to Yale.”
“You were so incredibly bright. I was barely eighteen, old enough to have custody, but not experienced enough to handle a wild teenage boy.”
Matt’s throat began to close up. “You sacrificed, going to a community college and working two jobs to support us. Thank you.” He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “God bless you and the baby.”
It was hard to accept the fact that he might never see his sister or the baby she’d wanted for so long. His niece or nephew. Life isn’t fair, he tried to remind himself, but there was a cold knot in his chest.
He heard Trevor’s voice and looked up. His friend was hesitating in the doorway. “Run along, Em,” he said, his voice cracking. “I’ll see you this evening.”
His sister gave him a big hug. “I’m not saying good-bye. You’re going to make it.” She muffled a sob. “You have to.”
Trevor walked in, and from the expression on his face, Matt knew Clive had told him just how risky this operation was. Trevor stood beside the bed.
“Matt, you’re the only family I have. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“Nothing is going to go wrong, but I’ll feel a lot better if I know you’re happy.”
“Happy?” One eyebrow tilted upward. “You mean with Clive?”
“Who else?”
“Yes. I am very happy. As soon as we get a chance, we’re having rings made.”
“That’s great. I’m happy for you.” He mustered a smile, telling himself the first thing he was going to buy—if he ever got out of here—was a ring. “Would you do something for me?”
“Name it.” Trevor sat in the spot where Emily had been.
“If something … happens and I don’t come out of this, I need to know that someone is taking care of Shelly.”
“Sure, sure.” A hint of moisture glistened in Trevor’s eyes. “I’ll take care of her. Don’t worry.”
“Thanks. There’s one other thing I need to say. You’re like a brother to me. I want to thank you for all you’ve done for me over the years.”
“Oh, Matt.” Tears filled his friend’s green eyes. “I was blessed to have known you. After my family deserted me, you were the one who kept me from killing myself. I owe you—big-time.”
The nurse appeared, holding a syringe. “After this injection, we’re going to wheel you into the operating room.”
He held up his arm and she gave him the shot, then left. A second later, he felt woozy.
“Don’t you want to talk to Shelly?”
“We already said good-bye.”
Trevor bear-hu
gged him and thumped him on the back. He heard his friend sniffing, fighting the tears. Man, oh, man, he never knew how hard this would be.
“Tell Shelly how much I love her. I had no idea what love was until she came into my life.”
Emily had come back from Matt’s room several minutes ago, but she was still crying. Other than flash Shelly a hostile glare, Emily hadn’t said one word to her. Matt’s sister had taken a seat as far away as she could possibly get.
Trevor staggered in, fighting tears. He collapsed in the chair opposite Shelly. Boy, was she glad that they had said good-bye earlier. Trevor dabbed his eyes dry with a soggy tissue, then stared up at the ceiling.
“Why are you so upset? If Matt doesn’t have this surgery, he’s going to die soon. You should be glad he had this option.”
Trevor turned his head to look at her. For a moment, she thought he was going to cry. Finally he said, “True. It’s his only chance.”
“We should be upbeat. Tomorrow he’s going to walk out of here.”
Emily’s sobs grew louder with each word. Why were they both so upset? A disturbing thought hit her. Surely Matt hadn’t lied to her.
“Trevor, there isn’t much risk to this surgery, is there?”
He didn’t look at her.
“Oh, my God! Matt didn’t—he wouldn’t lie to me.”
“H-he did it for you.” The venom in Emily’s voice was unmistakable despite the tears.
“Did what? Trevor, tell me, please.”
Emily cried, “Tell the troublemaker what she’s done, Trevor.”
“The tumor is too large to be sure this operation will be successful. Matt didn’t want to worry you, but chances are he won’t make it.”
Darling, you’ll never know how much I love you.
Oh, my God. What had she done?
“He could have had a whole year,” Emily said. “But he wanted a lifetime—with you. Don’t ask me how you managed—”
She didn’t hear the rest of the sentence. Hoping she wasn’t too late, she raced down the hall toward the operating area. Why? Why? Why?
No wonder Matt’s sister hated her. She hated herself. How could she have been so selfish?
Matt had wanted to enjoy the time they had left, the final months of his life. But no she pressed him to undergo an experimental procedure. She was so stupid. The word “experimental” should have given her a clue to how dangerous this operation really was. Instead of having another year or more of life, Matt was risking death.
For her.
As she approached surgery, she saw Clive coming out of the swinging doors.
“Stop the doctor. Don’t—”
“I’m afraid it’s too late for that. Dr. Dietz has already begun.”
“Clive, he didn’t tell me how risky this is. I would never have let him.”
Clive put his arm around her. “It was Matt’s choice. There’s nothing you can do now but pray.”
* See The Hideaway.
Chapter 35
“It can’t be too late,” she cried.
“Don’t assume the worst,” Clive said. “The surgery may be successful.”
“But it’s a real risk, isn’t it?”
“That’s true, Shelly.”
She charged down the hall, to the waiting room and shouldered open the door. Why? Why? Why?
She should have guessed. Matt had been behaving strangely, but she’d chalked it up to the terrible experience he’d had when his mother had died in the hospital. How could he gamble with his own life?
Darling, you’ll never know how much I love you.
He loved her enough to sacrifice what was left of his life. Unbelievable. She’d done nothing to deserve to be loved with such devotion.
Inside the waiting room, Trevor and Emily were sitting side by side on the sofa, talking. They looked up and saw her.
“Dr. Dietz has begun operating,” she told them.
“If Matt dies, it’ll be your fault,” Emily said, hatred underscoring each syllable.
“Now, Emily. This was Matt’s choice, not—”
“I don’t know how she did it, but Shelly managed to get some hold over my brother. When he left New York, he despised her. Now, he’s hopelessly in love. She’s convinced him to have experimental surgery.”
The rancor in Emily’s words were like a physical blow. The Beast had lived her life avoiding people. She had no experience with ugly confrontations. Right now, she was in a weakened state, too stricken with what she’d done to argue with this woman.
“Shelly is a good person,” Trevor said.
They were talking as if she were in another room.
“I’ll bet the conniving bitch convinced Matt to change his insurance policy.”
“He never mentioned a policy,” she interjected.
“He never mentioned the risk he was taking either, did he?”
She refused to take this woman’s scathing attack. If Matt’s life was in such grave danger, what did it matter if she told them the truth?
“Blame me for convincing Matt to have this surgery, but don’t accuse me of plotting to make a profit from his death.” She dropped into the chair opposite the sofa where they were sitting. “My name isn’t Rochelle Ralston. I’m Amy Conroy. I’ve been in the Witness Protection Program. That’s why—”
“Oh, puleeze!” Emily jumped to her feet and crossed the room. “Don’t expect me to buy that bridge. You’re a nut. You had one date with Matt, then went around telling everyone the two of you were having an affair. You made up the most outrageous stories about things that never happened.”
“I never met Matt until there was confusion after the accident. He mistook me for Shelly.”
Emily whirled around to face her. “If that were true, Matt would have told me. We talked about you. He never mentioned one thing about you being someone else. You’re lying.”
“He wanted to protect me. There are people out there who might kill me—if they suspected I wasn’t Shelly.”
“You’re insane. Next you’ll be claiming aliens forced you to do things. I should call—”
“Emily, calm down.” Trevor stood up and put his hand on her arm. “Let’s take a walk.”
He guided her into the hall, saying, “Look, Emily is a little overwrought. You see, she had custody of Matt after their mother died. She raised him, so she’s like a mother bear, protecting her cub.”
“I am telling the truth, Trevor. My name is Amy Joyce Conroy. I switched places with Shelly. She’s the one who really died in the crash.”
Trevor’s earnest expression became confused. “The police positively IDed the woman as—”
“You didn’t recognize the policeman, remember? It was Scott Phillips, an FBI agent in disguise. He wanted me to have a foolproof cover.”
Trevor slowly nodded. “Matt knew all about it, didn’t he? That’s why he said all that stuff about shopping at Tiffany’s with you for a ring.”
“You’re right. He was protecting me. That’s why he didn’t tell Emily the truth.”
“Are you in danger?”
“No. I don’t think so. But keep this to yourself.”
“I will. Funny, I had this feeling about you all along. In no way did you fit Matt’s original description of Shelly.”
“Oh, Trevor, I love him so much. I—”
“I know. I meant what I said. You’re a good person, the best. You helped me deal with my mother’s death.” Trevor stopped; they were in the flower-filled reception area now. “Let me handle Emily. Why don’t you go home and get some rest, then—”
“I can’t leave Matt.”
“The surgery will take several hours. If you don’t mind me saying so, you look like hell. Do you want Matt to wake up and see you like this?”
It had been almost forty-eight hours since she’d slept, but she didn’t feel like sleeping. “I don’t care what I look like. I just want Matt to be okay.”
“Give me some time alone with Emily. I’ll make her understand tha
t you’re telling the truth. I’ll take care of it.”
“I can’t leave. I want to wait—”
“With Emily going ballistic? Wouldn’t it be better if you went home, then came back after I talked to her?”
“All right,” she reluctantly agreed. “I’ll check on Jiggs. He’s been behaving very oddly, then I’ll come right back.”
“There’s no hurry. Dr. Dietz told us he has to work slowly, remember? Why don’t you call me a little later and I’ll give you an update on Matt’s condition?”
“I’ll call you soon,” she promised. “Please, make Emily understand.”
She left Trevor and slowly walked outside. The morning sunlight washed over her, bringing with it the sweet, earthy smell of the tropics. The warm breeze moaned through the dried palm fronds, whispering Matt’s name.
She was surrounded by the Key West that Matt loved, a profusion of blue. The sky, the water. And the freedom to be yourself.
If there was one thing she had learned since her mother’s death, it was how to find herself and leave The Beast behind. There were many roads in life, but hers had zigzagged across the entire country to bring her to a place she could call home.
Key West.
Here she’d met the man she loved. Matt was her destiny. She couldn’t imagine what her life would have been like if fate hadn’t brought them together.
She ambled across the clinic’s manicured lawn to the sugar-fine sand beach. A kingfisher prowled the shore, stalking some fish that she couldn’t see. In the channel, kids on Jet Skies and Wave Runners were racing by.
Just another day in paradise.
But this wasn’t simply another day. This might be Matt’s last hours on this earth. Why hadn’t he given her the chance to truly say good-bye?
She stood, watching the kingfisher eat his catch, then decided Trevor was right. She did not want to face Emily until Trevor had convinced Matt’s sister that she was really Amy Conroy.
Praying the whole way, she walked back into town. Trevor’s launch was still at the dock where Matt had left it. Thinking Trevor might need it, she waited for the Sunset Key’s hourly water shuttle.