“I was dead, Allie. You had my ashes in an urn on the mantel. Whatever happened while I was gone is understandable.”
“We kissed, but that was it. He never even saw me naked.”
“Wait. You and Elliot Talley never had sex?”
“Nope. It just wasn’t like that.”
He turned onto his back and stared up at the ceiling and she felt his hand suddenly on hers, turning it over and holding it. He looked at her and she squeezed back.
“This is some conversation,” he said.
She laughed. “Right? Can we change the subject?”
“Please,” he said.
“So how was the food on the ranch? Did you eat chili every night?”
“Pretty much. Lots of grilled burgers and corn on the cob with the freshest butter you ever tasted. One of the barn guys made it. No one ever used his real name, they just called him Butter.”
She smiled. “You love corn on the cob,” she said.
“It helped, having it so often and being so far from everything I knew and loved. Especially because you’re such an amazing cook. I missed your crazy meals.”
She laughed. As a personal chef, Allie often needed to try out recipes in advance and she’d use her husband as her tester. He loved everything, unfortunately, so he really wasn’t a good guinea pig. “So tomorrow you’ll go see your captain?” she asked.
“Yes, but things will be different, Allie. I don’t need to join task forces that will put me in the position I was two years ago. I’m a father of four. I’m needed here just as much as I am on the street.”
“You’ll be happy as a regular ole cop?” she asked.
“I’ll be happy because of you and the quads.”
That really didn’t answer the question, though. And it was what she was most afraid of. The novelty of having a family might wear off and he’d long to get back out there, be the law enforcement officer he wanted, needed to be. And then they could be right back where they started.
“The US marshal said he’d call the captain on my behalf to explain in an official capacity. So I’ll go see the captain, then my dad.”
Allie pictured Clinton Stark sitting in his favorite overstuffed chair in the Alzheimer’s wing of the nursing home, a wonderful center where he’d been for five years, four in the secure wing.
“I visit your dad every week,” Allie said.
She felt Theo freeze beside her. “Really?” he asked.
She nodded. When they were first dating, Theo used to talk a lot about his father, how frustrated he was by him. The two men had had a difficult relationship all their lives, despite how similar they were. Theo’s dad was hardheaded, very stubborn, and they had very different worldviews. That had always been tough on Theo, who’d idolized him as a kid and wanted to be a cop like his father and follow in his footsteps. Their relationship had started to fall apart when Theo was a teenager and disagreed with his father on just about everything but the most basic tenets of law enforcement.
Then early-onset Alzheimer’s had begun taking his father’s memory to the point that he hadn’t recognized Theo. She knew Theo hated that he felt he’d lost a huge part of his father before they could make any kind of peace. Before the night that had ripped apart their lives two years ago, Theo had visited his dad a few times a month, sometimes staying five minutes, sometimes staying hours. He did what he could handle.
“That was kind of you,” Theo said. “He couldn’t know who you were, though.”
“No, but I know who he is. He’s a connection to you. And our children’s only living grandparent. I brought the quads a few times.”
He turned onto his back again and she knew he was overcome with emotion and let him have some privacy. They were silent for a good minute.
“I appreciate that you kept up the visits,” he said. “My dad always liked you. He thought I had life all wrong, except when it came to you.”
She smiled. “I’m glad you’ll get to see him tomorrow. They’ve decked the halls for Christmas. It’s very festive there these days.”
“Good,” he said, nodding. He was quiet again for a minute, then said, “Speaking of Christmas, I want to make this one really special for the quads.”
She could actually feel her heart puff out in her chest. “Me, too. It’s their first.”
“Well, you’re the expert on them. I’ll defer to you on presents.”
“They got their dad back for Christmas,” she said. “I’d say that’s the best gift they ever could get.”
He reached out a hand to her face and she held it there. She felt their fledging connection in every cell of her body.
There was hope here.
* * *
During the night, Theo heard a cry and bolted up. One of the animals?
Wait. The soft down comforter and fresh-smelling pillow clued him back in to where he was. As did the warm body beside him, the wavy blond hair splayed on the pillow.
He was home.
On the ranch, he’d shared a bunkhouse with four other guys; each had his own very small efficiency-type apartment in an outbuilding very close to the stables and barns so that they’d wake from any sound of distress. But the sound he heard—that he just heard again—was a baby crying. His baby.
Allie stirred and turned over, fast asleep. He glanced at the clock on the bedside table. Five twenty-two. Well, no wonder he hadn’t woken up naturally. Alarms went off at five thirty on the ranch. And no wonder he felt so well rested; he’d had a full night’s sleep and on an amazingly comfortable mattress.
He carefully got out of bed so as not to disturb her. His muscles were a bit stiff, given that he’d tried so hard to keep from accidentally touching Allie during the night. He’d wanted to curl up around her and wrap his arms around her, and once or twice he’d rationalized that she’d want that, too, but he’d said he’d take it slowly, not rush, and he owed her time to get used to all this. To him. Being alive, being back.
He headed into the nursery and surveyed the cribs for the crier. Ah. Olivia stood in her crib, her face crumpled and red. At the sight of him, she held up her arms.
“Well, what’s going on with you, my girl?” he whispered, reaching in and picking her up. He held her against him for a moment, then set her down on the changing table and made quick work of a diaper change. “Better?” he asked. “Or maybe this is your regular wake-up time.” Babies tended to wake up pretty early, he knew.
Her expression was happier even if her big green eyes were droopy with sleep. “Da ba,” she said.
“Hmm, so maybe you’re still tired and need another half hour,” he said, picking her back up. He cuddled her against his chest as he sat down on the glider, rocking gently back and forth.
“Oh, give me a home, where the buffalo roam, and the sky is not cloudy all day,” he sang softly, and though he was off-key and couldn’t hold a tune, she fell asleep in record time.
He sat there and stared at her, in complete wonder at the sweet weight of her, her wispy silky hair, her adorable fingers. “I missed eleven months of your life. Your brothers’ lives. I won’t miss another minute,” he promised.
He’d meant what he said to Allie earlier. When he spoke to the captain in the morning, if he’d be allowed back, he wouldn’t let the job be his life. These babies had to be his life.
You said when we got married that I’d come first and I don’t. I never do, Allie had said quite a few times over the years when he’d disappointed her time and again, putting his work over their anniversary, her birthday, weekend plans she’d made.
He had said that, made that promise to her. And he’d broken it. Not meaning to, not wanting to, but needing to. The drive in him to catch the worst of the worst, his specialty, had been implanted in him as a kid, as he’d witnessed his father, his hero despite their difficulties getting along, clean up the streets of the
worst of humanity. Organized crime was well hidden in even the small, idyllic towns in their county, but his dad had made it his mission to keep the people of Wedlock Creek safe, to the point that he’d risked his life over and over, taking a bullet that put him on desk duty until he’d retired, kicking and screaming—figuratively—that it wasn’t fair. Theo’s mom had died when he was young, so his dad and an aunt were all he’d had. Now it was just his dad and he didn’t even know Theo, wouldn’t recognize him when he visited later.
Didn’t matter. Theo had been ridding Wedlock Creek of bad guys in his dad’s name for a long time. But now he hadn’t just made a promise to Allie; he’d promised his children. They had to come first. And they would.
“I promise you, sweet pea,” he said to Olivia, dropping a kiss on her head before putting her back in the crib.
Not bad, if I do say so myself, he thought. I’m getting the hang of this and it’s still my first day as a father.
But a second later, he heard Olivia fuss, then cry. He hurried back over to her crib just as Henry let out the wail of all wails. Then Tyler joined the party. Only Ethan lay silent in his crib—to the point that Theo rushed over to him to check that he was breathing.
He was. Theo’s heart rate slowed. “Okay, three screaming babies. What do I do?”
“WAAAAAH!” screeched Ethan.
Make that four.
He figured Olivia was set, since he’d just changed her. She probably just wanted to be picked up.
“Waah!”
“Waah!”
The waahing was coming fast and furious. Which crib did he go to? Whom did he pick up first?
He was frozen in the middle of the rug, wanting to put his hands over his ears like a three-year-old.
“They’re mighty loud for such little creatures,” Allie said, rushing into the room and picking up Henry. She stopped at Tyler’s crib; he was standing up and squawking. She gave his side a little tickle. “Be right with you, sir.” Then she did the same to Ethan.
“I’ve already changed Olivia,” Theo said. “And then they all started crying at once and it’s like my feet turned to lead.”
Allie smiled when she probably wanted to throw a diaper at him. “It’s chaos at first. But you’ll get used to it. Why don’t you grab Tyler,” she said, putting freshly changed Henry back in his crib, “and I’ll take Ethan?”
Theo set Tyler down on the changing table. “I think Ethan pierced my eardrum,” he said on a laugh. A hollow laugh. He felt anything but lighthearted at the moment. He couldn’t even handle the morning routine. Allie had done this on her own for almost a year.
“Did I mention the quads wake up between five and five thirty every morning?” she asked with a rueful smile. “It’s hard for grown-ups to be night owls around here.”
He was a night owl. That would have to change.
He held Tyler, feeling like a total flop as a father. Five minutes earlier he’d been New Dad of the Year.
“It takes time to work your own rhythm,” Allie said. She’d always been good at reading his mind. Reading his body language. “There’s four of them and only one of you.”
He nodded. “I hear you. And thank you.”
He had to get good at this. He could not let her down again.
Chapter Six
With the babies settled in their high chairs and eating every bit of their scrambled eggs and side of fruit without throwing any of it, Theo felt better about taking on fatherhood.
“What time are you calling the captain?” Allie asked over the din of Ethan banging his little fork, which he didn’t exactly have the hang of using for eating, on the tray table.
“At eight. He’s an early riser.” He couldn’t wait to hear his captain’s—former captain’s—voice and finally connect. He had no idea what the man thought about what had gone down. But Theo had a feeling Morgan White would say he would have done the same thing. Theo knew his captain would have.
She nodded. “Tell you what. Why don’t I run up and take a shower while you handle playtime in the family room, then we’ll switch and you’ll make your call?”
“Sounds good,” he said. They each took two babies and settled them in the family room on the foam mats.
“Man, it’s nice to be able to take a shower when I want,” she said, glee in her hazel eyes. “See you guys in a few,” she added and disappeared through the door.
He missed her immediately. In record time she was back, her shoulder-length hair damp and waving sexily down to her shoulders. She wore jeans and a pale pink sweater.
“Your turn,” she said, her smile lighting her entire face.
“You don’t have to rush anymore,” he reminded her. “Take a twenty-minute shower tomorrow morning.”
“I just might take you up on that. Of course, then there’ll be no hot water for you.”
More nights like last night, so close to her and unable to touch her? A cold shower might be in order. He smiled and turned to the crawlers. “Back soon,” he said. “Be good for your mother.”
He took a quick shower, dressed in running gear and then sat down at the desk in the bedroom and called Captain Morgan White on his cell phone.
“White,” came the familiar voice, and for a second Theo was overwhelmed with emotion. His captain.
“It’s Theo Stark,” he said. “Agent Fielding brief you?”
“He did,” the captain said. “Two years of your life, Stark. That’s dedication. I don’t know if I could have done it. Oh, hell, of course I would have. And I’m proud of you.”
Theo smiled, feeling his shoulders, his muscles relax. “McBruin threatened everyone close to me. I had no choice.”
“I know. Thanks to your intel, Wyoming is free of that psycho. Listen, I talked to the mayor. We never did promote anyone into your position, so your job is open. Even if it weren’t, I’d insist on adding one for you.”
Yes. The sense of homecoming felt complete now. His work. His family. His town. “I appreciate that more than you know. Captain, I made a promise to Allie that I’d wait until New Year. I have quadruplets, did you know that?”
“The whole town knows that, Stark,” he said. “Even I’ve babysat those rug rats.”
Theo laughed. “How’d that go?” he asked.
“Like you’d think. Hey, I’m about to leave for my five miles. Meet me at the park. I’ll tell you about the short ceremony we’re having in your honor at 5:00 p.m. today. I’ve already sent out a press release, so make sure you’re there.”
He laughed. “I’ll be there.”
* * *
“Oh, you poor dear!” said a woman whom Allie vaguely recognized from around town. The woman was staring at Allie’s left hand. “You still haven’t put on your wedding ring again.”
Allie and most of Wedlock Creek, at least those who’d been able to attend today’s special award ceremony honoring Theo in the town hall on such short notice, stood packed in the ballroom.
Lila and Merry, on either side of her, shielded her from the busybody. “The rings are being cleaned,” Merry practically snapped and stood in front of Allie to block further conversation. Luckily the room was very crowded.
“I’ve heard that at least twenty-five times since I walked in,” Allie said. “Mind your own beeswax!” she whisper-yelled, making a megaphone out of her hands.
“I like Merry’s response,” Lila said. “Keeps the gossips from squawking.”
Allie nodded. When Theo had called her earlier and let her know about the ceremony, news of which was posted on social media, she’d thought about wearing her rings. She’d gone up to her bedroom and slid open the bottom drawer of her jewelry box, taking out the beautiful diamond ring and gold band. Farther back lay Theo’s. She’d plucked it out, turning it around so she could read the inscription, Forever, Allie. She would never, ever forget the moment Captain W
hite had given her the small plastic bag containing his ring. She hadn’t gotten out of bed for two days and only had because of morning sickness.
She could have just slipped the rings on and given Theo his. They were married, after all. And Theo was back and they were carrying on. But putting on the rings felt as monumental to her as she and Theo making love again—the intimacy had to be earned, not forced. She’d put the rings back in the jewelry box.
“Talk about timing!” Eva Newton, who worked at the library, said to Allie, pulling her into a hug even though Allie barely knew her. “I heard that if Theo had been a minute later, you would have been Allie Talley.” Her mouth dropped open, her eyes lighting up. “Oh, goodness. Allie Talley. Did you know that rhymes?”
This time it was Lila who moved in front of Allie, and as more and more people packed into the room, Eva was carried ahead by the crowd. Thank goodness.
“Suddenly Allie Talley doesn’t make me laugh,” Allie whispered.
“To be honest, it was never funny,” Lila said, nodding very seriously.
That was the truth.
“You darling quadruplets!” said a woman from Allie’s neighborhood, stopping to kneel down in front of the stroller. “What lucky little sweethearts. They have their daddy now. It’s a Christmas miracle!”
Allie smiled and nodded. She liked those comments, and there had been plenty since word had gotten out about Theo being alive. Her children, their children, had their father back, and yes, it was a Christmas miracle, well, in a way.
“His selflessness in the face of grave danger...” Captain White was saying at the podium, to cheers and claps from the crowd.
Her husband was most definitely a hero. She just wanted to make sure that the hero really wanted the life he was stepping into. She’d been on her own with the babies a year now, since their birth, and she could keep going. But if he entered their lives and made them all love him and then couldn’t handle family life?
She’d be shattered—again.
Her babies would cry for their father’s attention.
And the arguing would start all over again. They’d be exactly where they were two years ago, except this time, there were children involved. Babies.
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