They ran into the building, which was cold and damp. Pax walked with conviction until he found the store they were looking for, above it the sign read “Serva- For all your nutrition needs”.
Hadley held her breath as they walked through the doors, but the store was almost completely empty. A thick layer of dust coated the shelves.
“Can I let you down?” Paxton asked Hadley, his eyes piercing into her soul.
Hadley nodded her head and he placed her feet back onto the ground. Without another word the three of them started to scavenge the high aisles.
The box was on the bottom shelf tucked away in the back corner when Hadley saw it. It was small and almost hidden beneath the dust. She reached for it, holding her breath. With the palm of her hand she wiped the thick grey particles off the label and read ‘H2O Nutrition Patch- Activity dose. Use after heavy exercise. Equivalent to 2 litres of H2O. 100% 2-hour biodegradeable packaging. Easy skin absorption.”
Immediately she pulled the tab on the box and opened it, revealing a hundred or so quarter size packets. She placed the box carefully on the shelf and grabbed a packet. Tearing open the package she pulled out the nutrition patch and stuck it to the underside of her tongue.
It was almost instantaneous that she started to feel hydrated again as the nutrition patch worked through her body, distributing the hydration through her.
“Over here!” she yelled as the moisture in her mouth returned.
Vanya and Pax almost ran down the aisle and she handed them both a patch. They both tore them open and popped them in their mouths. Relief washed through the group as they realized they were going to live.
“Find anything else?” Hadley asked.
Pax shook his head and shrugged empty handed. “Thank god you found the water.”
Vanya held a small tube. “I found malnutrition patches that are each equivalent to two days of meals.”
Pax started laughing. “Could we honestly have gotten luckier?”
Vanya joined in laughing as she opened the malnutrition patches and placed one on the inside of her arm. Hadley reached in and grabbed one too, placing it carefully on her arm. She didn’t join in laughing with the others.
Pax studied her. He was good at reading people but couldn’t figure her out, or why he got this powerful feeling that he knew her before today. He couldn’t help but notice how see through her clothes were, but he immediately felt like a pervert for even thinking that.
“We need to find you some clothes, Hadley,” he mumbled, then quickly added, “I think a storm is coming and I don’t want you get pneumonia after everything else.”
Hadley gave him a puzzled look but nodded either way.
Chapter Four
Deeper within the Serva building there was an open concept department store, or what used to be one. The empty shelves and unstacked racks showed it had been rummaged and sifted. In one aisle the shelves had been knocked down and destroyed. Under the coat of white dust, the massive dark red stain peaked through. Hadley looked at it and grimaced.
They walked deeper and deeper into the store. Hadley saw the now vertical women’s wear sign and walked that way. She looked around at the emptiness and started to rummage with what was left. Luckily she was able to find a few pieces of clothing including a warm jacket.
Vanya was also looking for a few more items, and adding them to a dusty bag she had found on the ground. Pax had wandered over to the men’s section and was slowly wandering through picking things up in his arms.
Hadley noticed a pile of pants and grabbed the ones on the bottom; there was only a tiny line of dust to remove and she did so with a brush of her hand. She opened a drawer that used to lie beneath a display and pulled out new undergarments. She slowly slid down her panties and pulled on the new ones, then fastened on a new bra. She pulled on her slightly dusty pants and a large knit sweater. She finally let out an exhale.
“Do you really think there isn’t anyone else?” Hadley asked Vanya, who was bent over shovelling underwear into her bag.
Vanya looked up, biting her lip uncomfortably as her eyes widened. “I…I really don’t know…” she sighed.
Hadley just nodded her head slowly, unable to think of anything to say. She walked away from Vanya and down a long forgotten electronics section. Everything was smashed and a symbol of an Earth with two intersecting V’s was spray painted on the wall.
Hadley picked up a small quarter shaped object and tried to press it; momentarily a holographic image appeared above it. A screaming woman stood in front of a nuclear cloud. Before she could blink the image was gone and the quarter tablet started buzzing until it squealed and died. Hadley placed it gently on the shelf, her eyelids beginning to sag and the after effects of her stressful day wearing down on her body.
Unexpectedly she felt a hand on her shoulder, the hefty fingers of a strong man pressed deep into her back. She leapt into the air involuntarily and swung her hand until it made contact with something hard. She felt the crunch as she recoiled back.
“Fuck, Hadley!”
Hadley looked up and saw Pax. He was holding a smashed and bleeding nose. A fiery look flashed through his eyes. His muscles tensed as his breath quickened for a moment. He closed his eyes and let out a small whistle through his teeth as he clenched his jaw tightly.
“Oh god, Pax, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… it must be the anxiety.”
“Don’t worry about it Hadley.” He said with a smirk that made her smile, as he adjusted his nose somewhat back into place. He clenched his jaw through the pain but didn’t say anything about it. She watched the way he did it, the restraint he exercised and felt oddly sympathetic towards him. He locked eyes with her and they stood staring at each other. Hadley felt a pang in the pit of her stomach. She could feel a long lost memory struggling to break free in her brain; she tried and could feel it becoming clearer.
Vanya came out of nowhere behind them and broke the moment. The small memory Hadley could feel disintegrated into shattered pieces inside her brain. They broke their gaze and Paxton looked at a shelf, almost too intensely. He pondered the moment they had, wondering if Hadley had felt the same pull between them.
“I found the abandoned bedding area; there are a couple mattresses… at least we won’t have to sleep on the floor…” Vanya pretended that she hadn’t interrupted them and pretended as though she hadn’t seen the look Hadley and Pax were giving each other.
Pax gave her a curt nod.
Vanya turned on her heel and led them down the dusty aisles until they got to a circle of biodegradable mattresses; a few had long warped and melted, but a couple looked as though they still had some spring in their cushion.
Hadley grabbed another water patch and popped it under her tongue as she felt the familiar sense of thirst, the dryness in her mouth. The nutrient patch was still absorbing into her body. As before, it was almost immediate that the thirst went away and she felt a wave of exhaustion.
She could no longer lift her arms and flopped onto one of the beds. It erupted in a cloud of dust around her but she didn’t care. She laid her head on one of the display pillows and watched as Vanya carefully dusted off the bed in front of her. Pax watched her in disdain.
Vanya crawled slowly on the bed and Pax followed her. He wrapped an arm around her as she started to sob. Hadley felt an uncomfortable pang of jealousy as her body longed for human touch. She rolled over and closed her eyes, immediately falling into a deep sleep.
Chapter Five
2083
Pax had shut off the car and they were sitting with the top down in the back seat. They parked far off the beaten track beneath a row of apple trees that were sagging from the weight of their fruit in the late summer. Hadley swung her legs slowly back and forth as she watched the leaves rustle in the wind. Every once in a while one would come loose and float softly onto the dusty grass beneath them.
They watched the hustle and bustle of the town below from their hideaway, their own place of seclusion.
People running around in their own lives, preoccupied with their own well-being.
Pax’s arm was tight around Hadley’s shoulder, and she rested her head on his shoulder. Neither spoke, for fear of what the other would say. The sky turned from oranges, to red to purples. Pax’s shoulders gently lifted up and down as he breathed.
“Are we going to talk about this?” he said shortly.
“Talk about what?” Hadley sighed pulling away.
He moved away from her so his grey eyes could stare into hers. “Do you still love me?”
“Of course, I have since we were twelve. But that’s not enough. We know that. There’s no point.” Tears welled up in her eyes as she struggled to keep in her punishing emotions. She didn’t want to do anything to ruin this evening, which would be a perfect memory, a sad end to a fading fairy-tale.
“What makes you so sure?”
“I just know.” She thought about their last few months, the magical last summer they had. She had cherished every moment. Memories welled up. The night they had spent on the beach looking up at the stars talking about her parent’s trip, and how much she didn’t know about them. Pax had always been good at talking about the hard things. He had a way of bringing up her parents so she could remember them even as the few memories she had faded.
She thought about the day they had driven to the mountains and spent the week camping, just the two of them. The way they had hiked through the evergreen forest.
The idea of university and the future had been looming over them for the entire summer. Though excited it was the end of everything they had known for the last years of high school. It was a constant reminder of the end of everything.
“Marry me,” Pax almost demanded. Hadley took a deep breath. This was not the first time he had asked. At the beginning of the summer he had elaborately proposed after a grand dinner in their favourite spot in town.
Hadley cringed as she remembered what she had said, how she let him down gently in front of their friends and family. Though she still loved him, she knew that their relationship wasn’t supposed to make it in the real world. It was the stuff of fairy tales, and sadly all fairy tales end.
Hadley looked at him, knowing she had asked him to propose at the end of the summer again. But the last two months had just solidified her views that ending everything was the best idea.
“I love you. To the moon and back.”
“Then spend your life with me.”
“I can’t. We can’t—” Hadley said as she looked away. The last few colours were starting to fade into a completely violet sky.
The tears ran down her face; she didn’t want to control her emotions anymore, she wanted him to see how much this decision had hurt her. She didn’t even blink them away; she just let the warm drops run down her face and fall onto her lap. She looked at him through watery eyes.
They sat in silence for a while, just staring at each other. Pax ran the tips of his fingers slowly up and down the side of her bare arms. “Please don’t do this.” He pulled Hadley into him, both their foreheads resting on each other’s shoulder. They were a tangle of arms and bodies.
Without thinking he started to unbutton her shirt. She watched him do it, but just let it happen. He had a casual way about him but she always felt the electricity between them. Her breathing quickened as she felt her pulse throb through her chest. He slid his hand across her body, pulling her shirt off and unclipping her bra.
Hadley pulled hard at the bottom of Pax’s shirt and brought it over his head. She could feel how hard he was through his pants as she reached down and unzipped his jeans.
She pulled herself close to him, feeling his hard muscles against her, his strong arms around her waist. She was becoming desperate
“I need you right now,” she whispered.
They separated momentarily and took off the rest of their clothes. He sat back down and she swung her leg over him and with one motion he was inside of her. She moved up and down quickly, arching her back under the apple trees. They shared moments of ecstasy, both breathing harder and harder.
He lifted her up and quickly changed position. He laid her onto the back seat of the car and kissed her gently and passionately. He paused and looked down at her, her hair falling across the leather seats as she bit her bottom lip.
“Let’s make this last,” Pax whispered, kissing her neck. Hadley gently smiled as she ran her nails across his back.
He made slow, smooth deliberate movements. She bit her lower lip feeling the sensations starting to build in her body.
“Let go,” Hadley whispered.
They both came together in a moment of bliss. He laid there, still inside of her, both of them trembling. He pulled back slightly and they lay in the seat with their feet dangling outside of the car. Pax pulled a blanket from the floor and wrapped it around them, pulling Hadley into his chest. He didn’t want the moment to end; he was dreading morning.
Finally, when the moon was starting to go down, they got dressed. Then they drove back into their small seaside town. They both looked at the quiet buildings that hadn’t woken up yet. Hadley looked at the small bakery where she had spent her time after school working before heading to the ocean for sunset.
Pax didn’t even look at Hadley as he drove her home. He pulled up to the house, silently parking in the driveway then he got out of the car determinedly. He quickly opened Hadley’s door and let her out, grabbing her hand to help.
Pax intertwined his fingers with hers beside the car. His jaw was clenched as he tried not to cry, to let his emotions run away on him. Hadley looked up at him.
“Do you want to come in? My grandpa’s not home,” she suggested. But he took a step back and just shook his head, looking at his shoes.
“No Hadley. This is the end,” he said sternly, before he wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and kissed her passionately. The heat between them in the early morning light was invigorating and intense. She pulled away breathless.
“I love you,” he said, practically to his feet.
Hadley placed her hand gently on his cheek. “Good luck at West Point. You’re going to be the best doctor they’ve ever seen.”
“I know,” he laughed. For the first time in days he let his sarcastic playful personality out. He had been too scared that it would cause everything to break if he hadn’t taken it seriously. Only now did he realize that everything was already broken. He continued. “Good luck at Harvard, you’re always the smartest person in the room, and hopefully someone else is a little bit smarter than you there. Give you some competition, Had.”
Hadley smiled a true genuine smile. “Doubt it Pax.”
“I guess this is goodbye. I’ll see you around I’m sure.” Pax gave her a hug.
Hadley walked to her front door as Pax got back in his car. Neither of them looked back. They were off to bigger and better things, on their own.
They were already strangers.
Chapter Six
2584
Hadley woke up in the darkness and looked over at Vanya and Pax who were breathing in sync with each other. They seemed to fit so closely together, despite only knowing each other for what she assumed was a couple of days.
Quietly Hadley pushed her feet onto the ground. Every piece of her dream felt real. The way she had felt about Pax felt real. The pain she felt leaving him, it was all real. Realistically, she knew it wasn’t.
She walked out of the bedding area, and came to a turn that led her towards what must have once upon a time been the main entrance to the store. Huge door frames remained, even though the glass didn’t.
The small white tiles were tinged yellow and cracking across the floor. A chandelier laid shattered into a million pieces. Everything was covered in dark brown paint chips that were peeling off the walls and ceiling. Pillars surrounded the entrance had kept their glassy smooth marble appearance. Hadley listened closely and could hear the pitter-patter of the rain starting outside.
She walked towards
the door frames and leaned against one, letting her head sag to the side. She was still exhausted but the restlessness and intrigue had taken precedent and she needed more information. She was thirsty for it.
She caught a glimpse of herself in the puddle that was forming in front of her. The moonlight lit her face, giving her a ghostly tone. It was the first time she had seen herself and she winced when she did. There was a gash on her head that was large and bruised. She ran her hand across it and was relieved that it wasn’t deep.
She had another cut down one of her cheeks. Her light hair was matted and covered in dust and blood. Squinting to see, she noticed one of her eyes was bloodshot. The veins were thick and the red was vivid against the blue and white with the black center misshapen.
She felt she looked much older than twenty-six.
Hadley heard something ahead of her and looked up struggling to see. The rain was coming down harder and harder and it was creating a fogginess that wafted through the street.
A stocky man walked down the sidewalk opposite her; he had an automatic machine gun in his hand, ready to fire. He hummed a soft harrowing tune as he walked, looking in all directions.
For a moment they locked eyes, but without thinking Hadley dove behind a pillar, frightened more than she ever had been. She caught his reflection in another. He was staring at the spot where she had just been, trying to figure out if he had actually seen someone or if it had been a figment of his imagination.
Hadley watched as he inched closer, shining a light from the end of his gun over the inside of the entrance. She held her breath, only able to hear the falling rain, and she watched as his reflection got closer and closer.
She waited for him to see her, hoping he wouldn’t.
Then he stopped looking towards the pillar, and he saw her outline.
Insolation Page 2