by Calinda B
Shhh, dulzura, stay quiet. You’re using your energy to stay warm. Just a few more feet.
She took several more steps.
Don’t open your eyes yet, but stop.
She stopped and waited for further instructions.
“Okay, cariño, open please.”
Her eyelids popped open to see a garden stretched before her. Rows and rows of plants could barely be discerned reaching up toward the moonlight.
“Okay, wait now. Keep looking.” Daniel swept his hands slowly in front of him, arms extended. As he did this, a curtain of darkness parted, revealing a luminous scene.
Marissa gasped. “Oh, Daniel! It’s beautiful.”
The varied plants rested in the still of the night, their roots nestled in the rich soil, illuminated by the half-moon lit sky. They glowed in iridescent blues, purples, lavenders, and greens, as if they were breathing colored light. They grew in raised beds arranged in a similar sunburst pattern as the patterned wood floor in Daniel’s bedroom.
“Who tends these?” Marissa asked, her eyes wide with wonder.
“I do.”
She glanced over to see something like pride on her lover’s face. “Is it just a hobby?”
“It’s not just anything. It’s a passion of mine to be able to grow things and affect life. I told you that when we met. I cultivate and nurture life out here. It balances out all the darkness that I master. Come. Let me show you my gardens.” He reached for her hand and kissed it before leading her along one of the pathways. “The plants only make this color display at night, when they’re in restoration mode.”
“What’s restoration mode?”
“This is. The nighttime is when we all source. Predators hunt, everything else rests. It’s a time of gathering energy.”
As they proceeded along the path, the plants reached their tiny coils and leaves of green towards Marissa. She laughed. “I had a vision like this – of walking in a garden and the plants tried to source me.”
“You’re exactly right. Like me, the plants can feed from your electricity. They’ll probably grow ten inches by the morning.”
They approached the center of the sunburst where one of Daniel’s bronze goddesses stood. This one had hair that twirled around her head as if she stood in a breeze. She wasn’t laughing like all the others though. Instead her expression was Mona Lisa-like, as if she held secrets behind her slight smile.
Marissa stopped walking and studied the piece, illuminated by the light of the plants. The bronze had those kinds of eyes that seemed to follow you wherever you stood. It gave her a creepy feeling inside. “The goddess of the garden?”
Daniel stiffened slightly. “Of a sort.”
“Who is she? Is she fashioned after someone you know?”
“Maybe. Here, I want to show you something else.”
“Not so fast. Who is she?”
Daniel chewed the inside of his cheek. “She’s just one of my goddesses. I like to surround myself with beautiful goddesses in case you haven’t noticed. You’re the most beautiful of them all.”
Marissa’s solar plexus flared with light. “Deflection. Let’s try again. Who is she?”
“She’s not a ‘who.’ She’s a bronze statue, that’s what.”
The light pulsed again. “More deflection. You’re hiding something.”
“Alright.” Daniel threw up his hands in exasperation. “I should have known this was coming.”
Marissa’s eyebrows knit together. “Known what was coming?”
“You know how you told me you have this bad habit of just blurting things out?”
“Yes, it’s a quality I hate about myself.”
“Well, get used to it. It’s going to get even more pronounced.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, the Light Rebels historically restore light, right?”
“So you said, yes.”
“That’s not just a fanciful phrase. It can be taken literally. Light Rebels can see the truth. That’s part of their restorative ability.” He put his hands on his hips and looked at her, his blue eyes pulsing with soft light once more. “You’re a truth teller, Marissa. You can tell, as sure as you can breathe, when a lie is being spoken. And since we’re soul bound…” His voice trailed off.
“I’m listening,” she said, putting her hands on her hips.
“I just hadn’t thought of this when I bound my soul to yours.”
“Thought of?” She grew tired of fishing for facts.
“I hadn’t thought that by soul binding with you, and you restoring your powers would mean…” His words dropped off. He inclined his head toward the dark sky. “I wasn’t lying to you. This is a bronze goddess.” He tipped his head in her direction once more, his eyes narrowed. “Just because you can sense something doesn’t mean I have to tell you what it is.”
She glared at him. “Just because you feel you have a right to withhold information, doesn’t mean I have to share any of this with you.” She gestured up and down her body. “You’re being a jerk again – my soul bound jerk.”
His hands exploded away from his body, and his voice burst into the air. “She’s fashioned after Josephina, alright? I never thought I’d get to love again so I made a statue in her honor, okay?”
Stunned by his outburst, Marissa muted her voice. “Okay. Alright. That makes sense.” Something about what he said and the way he said it bothered her, but she couldn’t quite get what it was. “New topic. When we were making love, it seemed like you were trying to pull the skin from my body. What was that?” She wanted to smack her head. Who decided this was a safe topic?
“I told you I was trying something. Didn’t you like the way it felt?”
“Sort of. It was both ecstatic and terrifying. Care to tell me what it was?”
“It was part of my Night Numen skills.” He began a slow stalk in her direction.
She shivered. “I see.” She turned to track his movement as he circled her. “Which part?”
“Basic training.”
“Basic? It seemed more advanced than basic.” Her feet began to vibrate with electricity.
“Perhaps.” He leaned towards her and drew a finger along her cheek. “I’m pretty good at what I do.”
And what is it that you do?
I consume darkness.
A huge shudder catapulted up her backbone and shot through her skull, making her hair tingle. You what?
I consume darkness. That’s how I gather power. I consume it, I master it, I set it free.
The seduction dance came to a screeching halt. “Stop stalking me. So you consume darkness. What were you doing with me?”
“Trying out a new skill.” His eyes flicked away from her.
Deflection. “Daniel, what were you doing with me?”
“I told you, I was trying something out. I wanted to see what it felt like to make love to a goddess and try one of my skills.”
“By sucking off my skin?”
“No. I didn’t want to suck off your skin. Don’t be ridiculous.”
Her solar plexus flared. You wanted something.
I wanted to increase our pleasure.
By doing what, exactly?
Daniel threw up his arms again. “A Night Numen uses the darkness, okay? I call forth the darkness as I need to.”
“This isn’t making any sense. Are you telling me that I’m dark inside?” Marissa grabbed handfuls of her hair and pulled it. “What’s going on here? Did we drink some sort of truth serum at dinner tonight? Is this the result of our sex connection? The soul binding? What’s going on? It seems like we’re getting to some truths that should have been gotten to before we soul bound, don’t you think? I would have liked to know that I was binding to someone who sources darkness and who tries to consume me during sex.”
“I wasn’t trying to consume you.”
“Well, what were you doing exactly?”
“You know that Chiara represents the dark feminine, right?
&nbs
p; “Yes, Tom told me.”
“You have as much darkness inside of you as you have light.”
“Yeah, so? So you wanted some of that for yourself?”
“I was trying to see if I could source it, yes.”
“And leave me with what, exactly? You were trying to use me, weren’t you?”
“Not exactly.”
“Then what? What were you trying to do?”
“I was trying to share.”
“Share what? Swap some dark for some light? Light for some dark? A bit of skin for a trade secret, leaving me looking like a burn victim? You’re a mystery, Daniel. I don’t really know anything about you. How do I know that you are who you say you are? How do I know you have my best interests at heart? How do I know you’re not going to use me? How do I know that this goddess here is just a statue? Maybe you’ve got Josephina trapped inside of it!”
Daniel’s face blanched and he looked away.
Marissa’s belly flooded with light. “Oh, no, oh, no! She’s not really in a crypt, is she? She’s not at your father’s home. Your former fiancée is right here, standing in the garden, watching me stand here completely naked, yell at her lover and former husband-to-be.” Horror and revulsion pushed through her stomach, making her want to heave. She recalled the glaring goddess in the driveway and the hair on her head stood straight up. “Is this…are these…are all of these statues her playground? Does she move freely through a world of bronze?”
Not exactly,” Daniel pleaded with her silently. Dulzura, please.
Fuck you and your mysteries, Navid. I may be soul bound to you, but I am not without recourse when I’m mad and right now I’m blazing mad. Marissa unclasped one earring and then the other and flung them in the dirt. “Your little ‘keeping tabs on the Light Rebel’ experiment is over. I need to go home, Daniel. Sober! Sober! Come!”
As the dog came bounding up to her, Marissa stormed off into the night toward her car. At least I had the good sense to bring my own means of escape. And you can’t hear me, can you? She flung an arm in Daniel’s direction.
“Marissa,” Daniel called. “Wait! The dinner tomorrow! El Demonio!”
“Fuck El Demonio!” She whirled and waved a fist at him before stomping away. If he cared that much, he’d come after me. Tears stung her eyes. Or maybe he doesn’t want to. Or maybe I don’t want him to. Gah! Shouldn’t a Light Rebel truth teller know the truth about what she wants? She rounded the front of the house, ran inside, retrieved her strewn clothes and purse, and pulled them over her bejeweled form as she and the dog made their way to the tiny car.
Chapter 31
Marissa arrived home late and stayed up until the wee hours practicing turning on and off the light in her system. After she’d managed to more or less master the on/off switch, she experimented with her jewels, trying to gain as much knowledge of them as she could. Focusing on the lapis lazuli would make her inner sight more intense. Putting her attention on the Jasper made her legs feel strong and grounded. She moved her attention throughout her jewels, delighting in each new sensation.
Next, she worked on shaping the light into objects and form. Using her imagination, she shot crystals of light as sharp as razors across the wall. Her wall was now stippled with tiny slashes. She willed the light into tiny, colorful waterfalls which trickled from her fingers, leaving stains on the rugs. She’d have a lot of cleanup to do. She made sweeping vistas and landscapes appear before her and then disappear in a blink. “This is so cool, Sober. Isn’t all of life conceived from light?”
At two am she flipped on the television and scanned the news. An election was coming up and the country was in a twist about who was telling the truth and who was fibbing. Four candidates stood on stage behind a podium. “He’s lying,” she told Sober, feeling the pulse in her gut. “He’s telling the truth. He’s kind of telling the truth. And he’s telling nothing but lies.”
At three am, she held her phone in her hands, turning it over and over, tapping the phone icon, finding his number, and then readying herself to call. She really wanted to share her skills with Daniel. But replaying last night and thinking of his jealous response to the Coati-lumina gave her pause. And then there was the sex - never in her wildest dreams had she imagined that a sexual encounter could be so violent, so pleasurable, and so incredibly transformative. When her father had the little “stir things in men” chat, he had no idea what kinds of things she could stir - none at all. It made the sex with Jason and the few before him seem like child’s play. Breathe in, breathe out, fit this part here, rub, orgasm. Not with Daniel…no. More like cosmic explosions and hope you live to see another day. Worst of all, his dead or not-so-dead fiancée seemed to be trapped in a garden statue. She shuddered, and her shoulders bunched around her ears. “Gah!” I don’t trust you, Daniel. So why do I still want you? The sensation only grew stronger with each passing minute. She wondered if she was some sort of dark drama addict. “More like addicted to Daniel Navid,” she mumbled before pitching another lightning bolt across the room. “He’s the darkest of them all.”
Exhausted from her experimentation, she drifted off to sleep, seeping into her dreamscape like smoke from an incense burner. She arrived in the white dream space again. Tom stood in the distance, twirling two heads. Buddy circled around Tom. He zipped off into the white, and then raced back in appearing like a see-through ghost-dog, his tongue lolling and his eyes bright.
“Good job on the light practice,” he called. “Little daggers and waterfalls. Good use of the imagination. Remember that.” He tapped his head.
“How do you know what I just did?”
Tom ignored her, twirling the skulls and peering overhead. “Get on over here, I don’t bite.”
She cautiously approached Tom.
He lunged at her and snapped the air inches away from her. When she yelped, he burst out laughing. “Don’t believe an old man when he says he don’t bite.”
“Don’t mess with me, old man. I’ve had a few cracked days.” Her solar plexus pulsed with power.
“Oh, I’m ready to play.” Tom crouched low. “I can make your hoo-hah feel mighty good.”
Marissa flinched and wiped her palms on her dream-pants. The Tom she knew was shimmering in and out of this ginormous bull-like creature, complete with horns. “What the hell, old man?” she exclaimed, assuming far more boldness than she really felt.
“Be careful who you choose to challenge, girl.” His voice came out sinister, deep and menacing, rumbling up from some cavernous reality. “Remember that.” A huge hoof tapped the side of his now-beefy head. The next second, he guffawed, resumed his amiable form, and slapped his leg. “I was just messing with you, Ms. Em. Where’s your sense of humor? You never did find you any that lasted, did you?”
She averted her eyes. Another mystery to solve. I’m getting really cranky about all this. She scrutinized the heads. One looked like hers, the other looked like Daniel’s. She searched for something else to look at, but her only choices were Tom, the wavering ghost-dog, or endless streams of white. A heavy sigh left her lips.
“You two have a lot to learn,” Tom said, chewing on a blade of luminous grass. “About personal power…”
Marissa’s solar plexus flared with heat.
“That’s right, Ms. Em.”
He gave her a weird look and said “Power” in a slow distinct voice, making her body feel like hardened clay.
“You’ve got to learn how to use it and how to lose it.” He guffawed again and the sensation went away.
The heads were making her dizzy. “I thought I mastered the head thing. I thought that the coati-lumina allowing me to claim her meant that you don’t have to use my head as a lure anymore.” She reached up and rubbed her neck and face, hoping her skull still affixed to her neck.
“That was lucky,” he exclaimed. “Just in the nick of time. I had no idea that would occur.” He chuckled. “Bet your boyfriend was none too pleased. That boy has obsessed over the bird-beast.”
“He wasn’t pleased at all. So what does he have to learn?”
“That’s his business. Ain’t my place to share another man’s business. All I’m saying is you source it here.” He inclined his head towards his abdomen. “That’s the seat of our power. We draw it up from our cores and it lands here.” He placed a palm at the edge of his ribcage. “Then, if you have any sense at all, you combine it with your heart, your creative expression, and your wisdom.” He tapped his chest, neck and forehead. “If you have any sense at all,” he repeated, looking her dead in the eyes.
“I’m not sure I’m flush in the sense department. I seem to act first, think later.” Marissa sighed and bit her lip. “Do you know that he tried to skin me like a rabbit last night?”
Tom guffawed. “While you was fornicating? That boy and his experiments - he’s always trying something new. Can’t keep a leash on that one, no sir.” He released the heads and they soared, end over end, into the white mist.
Marissa narrowed her eyes at his affectionate regard for Daniel. Oh, he’s just playing around, she imagined the old man thinking. Such a kidder! “Where did you send the heads?”
“We’ll just have to see, won’t we?”
Don’t like the sound of that. “Do you know why our sex is so violent and unpredictable?”
“You’re both closer to nature than most. You’re closer to your elemental selves.” Tom spit the grass from his lips. “Let’s walk a bit.” When Marissa came up next to him, he continued. “You ever see images of Earth from those satellites in space?”
“No.”
“They’re something special. This world is mighty fine, let me tell you. It’s a dynamic orb, constantly changing, constantly transforming and replenishing itself. Over a hundred lightning strikes occur on this planet every second. Did you know that?”
She shook her head. “That’s a lot of lightning.”
Yes, it is. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom!” His fingers splayed.
She jumped. When will I get used to this old coot’s exclamations?
“Some of the strikes lead to fire. The fire returns the decayed and decaying life in the forest to its elemental origins. Sure, it gets some of the good life too, but the whole process serves to restore. Since we’re all down here in the midst of it, we go wah, wah, wah a forest fire is occurring, what can we do?”