You can, a part of her said. But she ignored it. She needed more than intuition this time. It was too easy to mistake intuition for simply something she wanted anyway. She wouldn’t be fooled again.
And with a man who could have any choice of woman on his arm, she’d have to be extra careful if she didn’t want to end up cheated on again.
She put on a bra that pushed the ladies up and together in a pleasing way, pulled on some Spanx that smoothed from the bottom of her breasts to her knees, and put on a soft V-neck sweater in red and a form-fitting black skirt. She gave her hair a quick toss, knowing there was nothing much she could do for the tight, unruly curls, and swiped on her signature red lipstick. Her pretty brown skin didn’t need makeup, still glowing from sex, so she crossed through the room and opened the door to peek out shyly.
Though she was pretty sure she was a knockout in this outfit, she couldn’t help feeling a shudder of self-consciousness when she met his sapphire-blue gaze. His full lips pressed into a firm line, and she thought she saw him shift slightly, as if he were instantly aroused by her. She pushed away the thought and swept into the room and headed for a cupboard. She pulled out a mug and filled it with ice water from the fridge and sat down at the table to look out the window at the snow as if nothing were wrong.
Ryder let out a little huff and sat across from her. There was silence for a moment, and she could tell it bothered him more than it bothered her. So she sipped her water annoyingly and waited for him to say something. It was more entertaining that way.
“I was thinking we could head up to the lodge at eight in the morning tomorrow. Get started on the books.”
“Mm-hmm,” she said, not looking at him.
He cleared his throat. Even that sound was enough to send shockwaves down to her toes. “Does that sound okay? And then I arranged for a special lunch.”
She turned to him. “Special?”
It was his turn to grin slyly, a knowing look in those beautiful eyes. He brushed dark hair off his forehead. “You’ll see. I want it to be a surprise.”
She shrugged. “I guess so. After tonight, that’s some big shoes to fill.”
He coughed. “Excuse me?”
She laughed, trying to hide her nerves at blurting that out. “I just mean, after what happened this evening, it’ll be difficult to surprise me.”
“Oh,” he said simply, sounding baffled. “Well, I hope this surprise is better.”
“That’d be hard,” she retorted.
He shifted in his chair and she stifled a laugh by putting her water to her lips again.
“Well, we’ll see,” he said. “Anyway, I ordered dinner. I hope you like steak.”
“Who doesn’t?” she said glibly. The longer she was near him, the more nervous she felt, even when she wasn’t looking at him.
“The lodge restaurant has been impressive so far. And I told them it was a special occasion. I expect they won’t disappoint.”
“When will they be coming?”
“Ten minutes or so,” he said. “It took you a few minutes to get ready. Not that I mind.” His eyes ran over her slowly, taking in every inch like he wanted to strip the clothing right off of her and start all over again.
She wriggled in her chair, a little uncomfortable in the Spanx. He eyed her midsection, as if he could tell something wasn’t quite right, but then decided not to say anything about it.
“So tell me about you, Janna. Despite my rather rude attempts so far, I really do want to get to know you. I promise.”
She sighed. “All right. Since I have nothing else to do right now, I’ll give you a chance. I mean, I have to say, what we just did? I’d be lying if I didn’t say it blew my mind.”
“I’m glad,” he said, and the warmth was back between them, melting away the awkwardness like sun on spring snow. “It blew my mind, too.”
“What do you want to know?”
“What are your hopes and dreams?” he asked, leaning forward on his impressive forearms. “What do you want more than anything in the world?”
Safety, she thought to herself. A little place with someone I can trust, who sees me for who I am, and who accepts me and would never leave.
But didn’t every woman want that? The fairytale? She could take care of herself; she knew that. But she still wanted a partner who could do it for her sometimes. When she was tired. Someone she could care for too.
But looking into Ryder’s handsome, striking face, she couldn’t say it.
“I guess I’d like to own my own business. Pay the mortgage off, you know?”
“Would you want to stay here in town if you did?”
She shrugged. “Depends who is here.” She blushed because she knew that was too obvious. If Ryder Hart settled here, then yes, she’d be tempted to stay. That is if things worked out between them. Which she knew she was crazy to hope for. “I’d like to be independent. And at some point, I guess I would like a family.”
“Kids?” he asked.
“Sure,” she said.
“How many?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “The biological clock is ticking. I don’t think I’d mind adopting though.”
He winced. “You’re still in your prime.”
“You have something against adoption?”
He shook his head, his thick, dark hair moving in tantalizing ways around his face and neck. “No, I just hate seeing you think you’re too old to have your own if you want to. I think adoption is amazing.”
She smiled because she could see he was being genuine. For some reason, he didn’t seem like the type to lie. Maybe the type to put his foot in it by telling too much truth too fast, but not a snake like Scott.
Even if she did get the feeling Ryder was hiding something. Then again, they barely knew each other. It was natural to keep some things hidden.
At least that’s what she told herself.
“So your friends. Tell me about them,” he said.
“My friends?”
“Yeah, the girls you were with when I first met you. Seems like you’ve found something good there,” he said.
She warmed at the fact that he’d been paying attention. One of the things she’d always hated about Scott was how he didn’t seem to listen or notice little things that were important to her. “Well, I guess that’s one thing I should be grateful to Scott for. Without him, I wouldn’t have met Kylie or Leslie. They’ve made all the difference in my life.”
“I’d say that’s because you made all the difference in theirs, not because of any virtue of Scott’s.” He frowned, and she could swear the big man was pouting. The thought made her heart skip a beat. If he were just a one-night stand looking for a local girl to romance for a week, would he look that jealous whenever Scott’s name was brought up?
“Still, I never would have met them if I hadn’t gone to Leslie’s bar, trying to drown my sorrows. And Kylie has her own story.”
“They’re both locals?” Ryder asked, seeming genuinely interested in a way that made her warm inside.
“Yes,” she said. “And they’ve been a huge blessing. I wish they could come up here.”
“You could invite them,” he said. But he seemed to regret that the moment it was out of his mouth, and she was glad. Because as much as she loved seeing her friends, she couldn’t resist the thought of just a little more time with Ryder Hart. All to herself. She could castigate herself afterwards for being stupid about it.
For now, she wanted the fantasy.
And even if it went bad, wouldn’t she have the most amazing story to tell?
“Now, how about you?” she asked, turning the empty mug in her hands. “What are your hopes and dreams, Ryder Hart?”
When he grinned at her and started to speak, she found herself simultaneously second-guessing herself and falling in love with him.
Ryder Hart was indeed going to be trouble.
7
“I want to make a difference in the world,” he said, and Janna’s heart
gave a nervous little double thump.
“Yes, I got that about you when you came up with the locals-only discount idea.”
He eyed her narrowly, as if trying to decide if she was making fun of him or not, and then relaxed. “I know it sounds odd. The consummate capitalist caring about something like that. But I want to leave a legacy.”
“What about children?” she asked, fingering the lip of her mug pensively.
“What about them?”
“Won’t that be your legacy?”
He bit his full lower lip and she crossed her legs to hide the effect it had on her. For some reason, he seemed nervous about the topic of children. “I do hope to have kids. But I also hope to leave a better world for them. And to change the lives of other kids.”
“I had heard Ryder Hart was big into philanthropy,” she said quietly, not knowing where to push forward or pull back with the big, quiet man. Sometimes, he could be so forceful and intimidating and other times, so thoughtful and drawn in on himself.
“I am. Because I’ve been given much, I too must give.”
“Well, given and earned.”
“Same thing,” he said. “There are people who work just as hard as I do and don’t make the same. That makes me feel responsible to even the stakes.”
“How?”
“Donations. Building shelters for the less fortunate. Sponsoring foreign aid programs. I could go on and on, but the list would bore you.”
“I thought you were just trying to impress me,” she said with a warm, knowing smile.
He grinned and leaned back in his chair. “Is it working?”
“Yes,” she said. “Especially since I can just get online and Google you if I need to verify anything.”
“I suppose so. Though you won’t get internet out here. I’d need to take you up to the lodge.” He cocked his head and a dark lock caressed his forehead. She had the oddest urge to reach over and tuck it back out of the way. It was a crime to hide any of that beautiful, smooth skin. He had lines, sure, but they were the type that added character, at the corner of his eyes and faintly at the side of his mouth. He looked like a man in the prime of his life who had lived enough to be interesting.
Had she lived enough to be interesting? She sort of hoped they didn’t have to talk about her career. Accounting wasn’t exactly an exciting topic.
A knock on the door sounded, and Ryder stood smoothly to answer. He exchanged words and possibly a tip with whomever was there and then came back with takeout bags in his hand that were emitting steam and a wonderful smell.
“That smells amazing,” she said as he pulled clean dishes from the cupboard and started setting the table. It was easy for him to reach even the top shelves of everything, and Janna thought it would be nice to have him around. She wouldn’t have to always be grabbing the footstool to get things in her kitchen.
Well, her foolish brain could think of a lot of reasons he’d be great to have around. But fairytales just didn’t happen. She needed to remember that and keep her eye on the prize. The pay that would get her out of here and help her forget the mistake she made with Scott forever.
But she felt just a tinge of longing that it could be different. That someone like she and Ryder really could fit together.
“I was hoping to cook for you, but after…” He trailed off, flushing adorably, and started taking out large takeout containers to serve onto the plates. “Well, we’ll do it when you’re less tired. I’m sure you’re starving.”
She was about to protest but remembered her stomach rumbling.
“I promise you can count on me to be more of a gentleman,” he said, pushing her plate toward her. A deep-brown steak emitting savory fumes was laid alongside grilled asparagus. A meal that would be filling and healthy at the same time. And indulgent. How long had it been since she went out?
She waited for him to be served and then noticed him waiting for her to take a bite. She eyed him suspiciously, not liking being watched when eating.
“Ah, sorry,” he said, averting his eyes and taking a bite. “I’m afraid one of my failings is I sort of prefer my women well fed.”
“Well, we are less grumpy that way,” she said lightly, cutting into her steak.
“That’s not why… Oh, never mind.”
She chewed a bite of her meat, intrigued enough that she barely tasted it. “What do you mean that’s not why? Why, then?”
He gritted his teeth and she definitely thought she could make out a light flush on his high, severe cheekbones. She’d embarrassed Ryder Hart somehow. “I… Well, I’ll explain more later. I’ve already messed things up enough today.”
“So you like women with a little meat on their bones,” she said, happily working her way through the meal as they spoke. The awkwardness of the moment wasn’t enough to counteract the tastiness of the entree. “Nothing to be ashamed of there.”
“I said I didn’t want to talk about it,” he said quietly, continuing to eat. “But yes, short story, I like it. Now eat.”
“I am,” she said, grinning. “So what are you going to cook for me later?”
He perked up at that and set down his fork. He didn’t seem very hungry. More nervous. “Whatever you like. What are your favorites?”
“Whatever you want to cook,” she said.
“Easy to please. I like that.”
“Do you?” she asked, eyes flashing to his. “I sort of got the impression you liked hard to get.”
He met her gaze with hard sapphire blue. “Are you hard to get?”
She didn’t blink. “Maybe.”
“Then, yes, I like it,” he said, leaning back in his chair and eyeing her with that strangely predatory yet flattering gaze.
She finished her meal as they spoke about their families. Ryder wouldn’t say much other than he and his brothers left home for school and hadn’t been back, and rarely saw one another but kept in touch. Janna could tell him most of the truth about her family. Controlling mom, gorgeous, skinny sister whom she was relieved Ryder didn’t seem at all interested in meeting, and a father who worked too much and wasn’t really around.
Perhaps she hadn’t dated around enough before Scott, and that’s why she fell the way she did. And perhaps her dad hadn’t been around enough to teach her anything about men.
And perhaps, with how cruel life had been to her at times, she simply didn’t want to overthink things when life was actually good. It felt fair that life would be good for once. That’s why it was so awful when things with Scott went bad.
But it did leave her here, away from her family, where she could grow as a person and meet people like Ryder. And Leslie and Kylie. She wondered if her friends were trying to figure out how to get into the parties at the lodge. Maybe she should mention something to get them an in next time she saw Ryder’s brothers.
Not that she knew when that would be. He tended to be tense and a little cagey when it came to talking about other men, as if he were jealous but knew he had no right to be this early in the game. But to be honest, it made her feel safe. Protected. She knew that someone who was his would never worry about being treasured. And she was strong enough to stand up for herself if someone were acting controlling.
After all, she hadn’t hesitated to laugh in his face when he’d tried it before. Caveman dominance was fun in the bedroom, but out of it, she was a grown woman and expected to be treated like one.
“Where have you gone in your mind?” Ryder’s voice cut into her thoughts. “Don’t get me wrong. I kind of love that about you already. But I find myself wishing I could go with you.”
She flushed with warmth. That was one of the nicest things anyone had said to her. Not telling her to come back or chiding her for not paying attention or telling her not to zone out. Just wishing he could go with her.
She tried to keep her heart from melting on the spot. “Just thinking about family. And life. And you know, the things that get you where you are.”
“Tell me about it,” he said. �
�I was dreading this trip and the memories it would bring. And then I laid eyes on you and knew everything happens for a reason.”
“How can you be so sure? You barely know me.”
“You keep saying that, and I keep trying to answer it. I can’t explain it other than to say I don’t do this with everyone. Anyone even. Just you. You’re special.”
She poked the remains of her dinner around with her fork. “It’s not that I don’t want to believe you. It’s just hard to.”
“I know. That’s why we’ve got a week,” he said, finishing his dinner. When she nodded at him, he took both plates and put them in the sink and started running water.
“You wash dishes too?” she asked.
“Yup,” he said with a grin. “Fully housebroken.”
“Nice,” she said. “Definitely points in your favor.”
He gave her a slightly predatory grin that was playful nonetheless. “I’ll make sure to redeem them later.”
The mood changed, and he seemed aware he’d done it. “Well, I’ll redeem them by letting you cook for me.”
She tried not to be disappointed. What could she say, that she’d hoped they could be redeemed in somewhat… sexier ways? She’d sound stupid being the only one thinking that. He was determined to behave himself. Why couldn’t she do the same?
Except, they were both consenting adults. Why couldn’t they have a little fun? Well, for the sake of the slight soreness between her legs, she’d follow her logical side and let things cool off for tonight. But she couldn’t help feeling a little snuggly, with her stomach full and the cabin so warm and an hour of great conversation with a good-looking man.
Ryder wouldn’t let her finish the dishes, so she turned on the big-screen in the living room and watched reality TV while she waited.
When he came and sat down next to her, the air heated a couple degrees. He was just so damn big she wanted to just cuddle back against him. She’d fit right against that wide chest.
Luckily, he seemed to have the same idea because he pulled her close and wrapped an arm around her waist. She squirmed because the odd angle wasn’t comfortable with the Spanx. He ran a hand along her middle and then frowned.
Bearllionaire: (BWWM) Paranormal BBW Bear Shifter Romance Standalone Page 6