by T. S. Ryder
Dr. Hopkins studied him for a moment. “And why is that?”
Rex shrugged.
“Are you afraid of taking things too far again?”
“I . . . maybe.” Rex shrugged again. “I just . . . I know that I need to read cues and whatnot, I just . . . I don’t know. I just want to be more stable before I start thinking of serious dating.”
And of course there was the fact that any woman he met out here wouldn’t know he was a bear shifter and he’d either be in a relationship where he was constantly lying, or he’d have to reveal a huge secret that she might or might not keep.
Dr. Hopkins made a note and smiled up at him. “Well, regardless, you’re still doing a great job getting to that stable place. This week I’d like you to focus more on getting to know your co-workers better. Go out for beers, watch a football game. Bond a little.”
“Right. I can do that.”
“And remember that the review of your court case is coming up. On our next meeting, we can run through a few things to help you prepare.”
“Thanks.” A glance at the clock showed it was time to wrap up the appointment. Rex stood and held out his hand. “Thanks, Doc. Really.”
The doctor nodded as he shook Rex’s hand. Rex left the office, grinning to himself. Maybe he wasn’t in the place where he wanted to be a year ago, but he was still much, much closer. It wasn’t just the job, he was in a much better spot mentally, too. He’d always been arrogant, and seeing how wrong he was when it came to Cynthia—and knowing what she had feared from him—had been a huge blow, one he knew he needed. But picking up and accepting that he made a mistake and working on never making that mistake again had brought him back to a much more acceptable space.
If it wasn’t for deciding to finally go to the psychiatrist for his issues, he knew he would never have been able to get to this point. Trying to solve his emotional mess on his own had only made him worse.
Rex was still grinning when he got to his job site. He worked with a construction crew, building houses for an up-and-coming company. Rex had grown up as a hunter. Back on the island, he was always hunting and fishing. It was hard on the body, but that was why he was one of the biggest and most muscular men on the island. Here, though, the world was a different kind of hard. There wasn’t the comradery he felt with his coworkers that he had with his teammates back home.
But he had been stripped of his position as a hunter due to his behavior. If he was ever going to earn his position back, he had to prove that he could put others ahead of himself.
That was why he had volunteered to leave the island to work out here on the mainland. It was a new program that the alphas had started up. Send half a dozen bears out here to work for a year or two, with the understanding that they send back fifty percent of their expendable earnings to contribute to the college fund.
Rex was determined to earn enough to send at least one person through a two-year program. He budgeted stringently and was able to send a good portion of the money to the alphas every month.
It was still hard, though, considering that he always felt a barrier between him and his coworkers. Back home, he had grown up with his clan. Here, they were a bunch of strangers shoved together, and he didn’t know how to get to know new people.
Stop, he told himself, reminding himself of Dr. Hopkins’ advice not to overthink things. I’ll go out for a beer with people after work today. You don’t have to be ride-or-die in order to be friends.
He stopped by the foreman’s office to clock in. The foreman looked up, looked at the clock, and shook his head with a laugh. “Always early aren’t you, Rex?”
“Better early than late.”
The foreman grinned at him. “That’s what I like about you. You’re dedicated. But you need to start cutting back the overtime. You’ve got so much racked up that the big boys are breathing down my neck to make me make you take a vacation.”
Rex frowned. “But I don’t want to.”
“I know, I know. You’re going to have to, though. And then maybe relax a bit. The world’s not going to end if we’re not two weeks ahead of schedule, you know.” The foreman slapped him on the back. “Think about it, ‘kay? I want you to take two weeks of vacation soon.”
Rex continued to frown, but he nodded. Two weeks would be enough to go back to the island . . . Or maybe he could get a small side job for the time he was on vacation. Then he’d be able to send back even more money.
Shaking the thoughts from his head, Rex headed out to start working.
***
His co-workers laughed and talked among themselves as they drank their beers and ate their wings. Rex hadn’t drunk half of his bottle yet, although he had gone through a good kilo of wings already. The conversation around him was about things that he didn’t care about. Cars, TV shows, the job. While he fought to contribute, more often than not he found himself falling silent and thinking of other things altogether.
A pretty redhead at the bar was watching them, her index finger inserted between ruby-red lips as her gaze roved over the crew. One of the guys elbowed Rex in the ribs and pointed her out.
“Dude, that girl wants to climb you like a beanpole.”
Rex took a better look at her. She was beautiful, with the curves of an angel, but when her smile widened he looked away. “Not my type.”
His co-worker snorted. “What do you mean, not your type?”
“I don’t like redheads.”
“Dude, you’re insane.”
Rex didn’t bother explaining that it was due to the fact that his niece’s father and aunt were both redheads, and that whenever he saw red hair, he was forced to think about them and how his own sister had died. Not to mention the fact that Tyrell was the man Cynthia had married, and now red hair reminded him of just how badly he’d fucked his life over.
His coworker took a swig of beer. “So what is your type, then?”
“Brunette.” Rex considered for a moment. “Nice eyes. Doesn’t matter the color just as long as they’re warm and laughing. Cute smile. Dimples.”
A face flashed through his mind, and he downed the bottle. It had been a year since he had met Mindy on that island, and yet he still found himself thinking about her every so often. It didn’t make any sense—it wasn’t as though they’d had a passionate affair. One night of them comforting each other and forgetting about the world didn’t mean that he should keep thinking about her.
Rex had had many one-night-stands in his lifetime. Most of the women on the island didn’t particularly want to settle down, and when there wasn’t a female bear available, there were always women on the mainland. There wasn’t really anything that made Mindy stand out from the crowd, except for two very important details.
The first was that she was the one who helped him realize that his obsession with Cynthia hadn’t been love. His bear was drawn to her, but it wasn’t the forever-mates thing he’d convinced himself of. He had just been lonely and frustrated, and desperate enough to mistake lust for love.
The second was that she was the last woman he’d messed around with. In the year since they had parted, he hadn’t found himself wanting to be with a woman. He needed to make sure that he had everything squared away, first. He didn’t want to make the same mistake he had made with Cynthia, after all.
As if thinking about Mindy was a beacon, the delicate scent of lilacs wafted through the air, the scent that had surrounded them as they had made love on the beach that day. His head turned, a swarm of butterflies instantly coming to life in his stomach. He scanned the bar, and his heart jumped when he spotted a brunette, but when she turned, he saw that it wasn’t Mindy. Disappointment hit him hard, though he instantly berated himself for it.
“Something wrong, Rex?” his coworker asked, raising a beer. “Hey, that blonde over there is giving you the eye.”
Was it possible that he was actually interested in seeing Rex get lucky tonight? The bear glanced over at the blonde in question and shook his head. “Nah, man
. She’s looking at you.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
That ended the conversation. Rex rolled his eyes, paid for his drink and bid a general goodnight. Maybe the night hadn’t gone well, but the point was that he went, right? That was the first step.
Rex buttoned up his coat as he stepped outside, breathing in the chilly air. After the crowded, noisy bar, being out on the street was a relief. Why did people have to be so noisy all the time? It was like a thousand things were going on at once. It made him feel like he was bleeding at the ears, and it was impossible to pay attention to any one thing.
He let out a huff of breath as he headed for his car. Before he got there, though, his phone started to ring. When he checked it, his heart jumped to his throat. It was Noel. His alpha.
“Noel,” he greeted, heart hammering. Had something terrible happened?
“Where are you, Rex?”
Rex frowned. What did it matter?
Noel continued, sounding put-out. “We’ve been waiting for ten minutes.”
Ice ran into his veins. That was right. The alphas had planned to come and see him today. He had forgotten all about it. Rex bit back a curse and dove for his car. “Got caught up with work, I’ll be there in five minutes.”
Noel grunted and hung up. Rex drove as fast as he could to his apartment building. When he got there, he found all four of the island’s alphas already there. Noel looked seriously pissed off, his arms folded across his chest and a grimace on his face. Rex’s bear growled slightly, prepping him for a fight, but Rex fought down the urge to posture as he got out of the car. He was not going to challenge the alphas, not if he had any chance of being welcomed back to the hunters clan.
“Bout time,” Noel snarled at him. “What’s the holdup?”
“Lot happened today.” Rex unlocked the door and held it open. “I went out with some of the guys from work. I forgot that today was today. I—”
He cut himself off as the alphas filed into the building ahead of him. He had just remembered that he hadn’t gone grocery shopping yet. He just had his backup foods in his apartment. Hot dogs, ramen noodles, and a jug of orange juice. He nearly cursed. Rex’s mind ran as he led the alphas to his apartment. It was tidy and clean, but somewhat lacking in furniture. With just him, he didn’t need much. The couch and coffee table were all he required in the main room, and a bed in the bedroom. Not much to look at, but serviceable.
Rex could see the disapproval written on the alphas’ faces as they looked around. “I haven’t gone shopping lately, so I don’t really have anything to offer you and—”
“Why haven’t you been shopping?” Ricky interrupted.
“It’s been busy. I have the day off tomorrow, so there are a few things I’ll be getting done around here.” Rex hated how nervous he felt, but tried not to let it show. He grinned at them, trying to present a cool air. “I’m working hard. You can call if you want—”
“It’s not your work that we’re concerned about.” Bobby frowned at the uninspiring room. “What we’re worried about is your life outside of work. We know things took a hit for you, and we just want to make sure you’re doing alright.”
Rex shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’m fine.” His tone was stiff, but there was no changing it.
“And how much money are you budgeting for yourself?” Kurtis fixed him with a glare. “You’re sending back far more than you should. Your fridge is empty and this . . . this apartment looks barely lived in. You can’t just work all the time.”
Rex felt the growl in his throat and didn’t answer for a moment, making sure he choked it down. “I just want to prove that I am still a valuable member of the community.”
“Yeah, you are.” Noel gave him a pointed look. “So take care of yourself, too. Got it?”
Rex couldn’t resist rolling his eyes. “Yeah, sure. Thanks, Dad, never thought of it.”
Noel glared for a moment longer, but a smile tugged up his lips. “You’d better start acting like it. Next time we come here, I want to see fresh vegetables in that fridge, got it?”
“They’ll be organic and locally produced.”
Noel snorted. Joking around had eased the tension in the room, though, and the alphas didn’t look so disapproving anymore. They sat down and talked about things back on the island. Rex was hit by aching homesickness right in the stomach. It still ached even after the alphas had left and he turned on the TV, relaxing a bit before heading to bed.
And inexplicably, the scent of lilacs filled the room.
Chapter Three – Mindy
Sneaking out the window probably wouldn’t help prove her innocence, but Mindy never did have much trust in the legal system.
“Diapers, bottle, formula, wipes, extra clothes . . .” She nodded, satisfied she had everything she would need in a pinch. The motel room, the only long-term accommodation she could afford in this town without running through all of her savings, was empty except for the disgusting furniture that came with the place.
Part of her would have liked to do what she was accused of: trashing the place, destroying the furniture and stealing removable fixtures. She knew she was pushing it just by getting out of this dump, though. There wasn’t anywhere for her to go . . . Maybe she should just stay here and deal with it?
A glance at her three-month-old daughter wriggling in her car seat swept that thought from her mind entirely. With her financial situation right now and the motel manager’s accusations flying at her, the cops might take her baby away from her.
No way in hell was she letting that happen.
Mindy picked up the car seat, smiling down at her daughter as Ginny grinned and chewed on the ear of her stuffed rabbit. A rush of love filled her from the top of her head to her toes. Her daughter was the best thing to ever come into her life, and she wasn’t going to give her up, not for nothing. She just had to deal with this situation and then figure out where she needed to go from there.
Moving quickly, Mindy put the car seat through the open window at the back of the room (she was grateful now that the manager refused to buy screens for them) and then climbed out after. She tossed the keys into the room just as a harsh pounding started on the door.
“Open up!” the manager shouted from the other side. “You’re in trouble now, Missy. The cops are coming, and you’d better be prepared to give me my money for everything you’ve damaged!”
Mindy hissed between her teeth, collected Ginny’s car seat and darted away. Her car was parked across the alley, full of the belongings she had already sneaked out of the room.
“Pay for your own damages,” Mindy hissed furiously under her breath as she quickly clicked the car seat into place and checked it to make sure it was secure.
All of the things she was supposed to have stolen from the motel room hadn’t been there in the first place when she moved in. And the damages that the manager accused her of doing had already been there. At the time she thought nothing of it. Now, though . . . She jumped into the driver’s seat and drove away just as she heard a loud shout. When she glanced back, she saw the manager hanging out of the window.
“Let this be a lesson, Ginny,” she said aloud, trying to calm her nerves. “When a guy says he’s easy-going and can always be flexible when it comes to paying rent, don’t trust the slimy weasel.”
Up until two months ago, she had been working as a receptionist at a chiropractor’s office. Then they were shut down, the reasons still being a little vague, and her savings had dwindled quickly. The third month, she had told the manager that she was going to have trouble paying the rent on time, all the while assuring him that she was looking for a new job and would get the money to him as soon as she could. He had all but insisted that she sleep with him.
When she had said no, he accused her of damaging his property and stealing from him.
A strangling feeling rose up her throat, and she resisted the urge to let loose a string of curse words. She might not be in the best sit
uation, and she might not be an upstanding member of society, but that didn’t mean that she was so desperate to prostitute herself. Especially not for a gross, slimy man like that. She wasn’t yet so desperate.
Not that she hadn’t considered it. Not the actual prostitution, that was far too dangerous. But she had thought about doing some cam work. She’d even gone so far as to discuss it with women who were actually in the work. Lots of them said that it was a choice they’d made because they needed the money and it gave them the time and flexibility to spend time with their kids.
In the end, though, there were a lot of reasons why Mindy thought it was a last-ditch, bottom-of-the-barrel job for her personally. It was degrading, since either she’d be seen as a sex object or as a fallen woman. Not to mention the fear that someone she knew might end up seeing her, or worse—that somehow a vague, faceless ‘they’ would take Ginny away from her because of it.
“Mommy needs to stop thinking about that slimy little man,” she said aloud, more to herself than to Ginny, although she received a delighted squeal in response. Her tense muscles relaxed as she glanced in the rearview mirror, even though she couldn’t see Ginny’s face since she was in a backward-facing seat. “That’s right. Mommy needs to figure out where we’re going from here, doesn’t she?”
A bubble of panic rose in her throat. What the hell was she going to do without a place to live and no money coming in?
The plus side was that she had a couple of job interviews lined up already. If she had to live in the car for a week or two, she would deal with it. The weather was nippy, but she had plenty of blankets to keep Ginny warm, and she had a year-long membership to the pool at the YMCA that was already paid for. So showering wasn’t going to be a problem and libraries were always open during the day so that she could use the internet there to send in more resumes.
I will figure it out, she told herself firmly. I always do.