by T. S. Ryder
“You need to stay on bed rest,” Noel grumbled, and Mindy realized she had lost track of the conversation. She moved Ginny to her other breast, struggling to catch up again.
“I’ll do what I need to do to—“
“You are going to stay on bed rest,” Noel interrupted. “I know you want to protect her, but you can’t do that if you’re dead. Stay in bed, resting so you can heal. We’re doing what we can to deal with Meyer. You concentrate on taking care of yourself so that your little girl doesn’t have to grow up without a father.”
A prick of guilt pinched Mindy’s heart. She had grown up without her father. She had never known whether that was because he didn’t want her or because he never knew she existed. But Rex? He’d nearly died for her. If Ginny grew up without her father, whose fault was it, other than hers?
Tears began to burn in her eyes. When she heard the front door close, she almost went out to Rex. But the guilt weighed her down, and she found herself unable to do anything but sit there, feeding her baby.
Ginny’s eyes were starting to grow heavy, and Mindy tapped her cheek gently to wake her up so that she could keep drinking.
There was a shuffling noise, and Rex came into the room, leaning against the door. She could see him focusing hard as he made his way to the bed and lay down. When he smiled at her, though, the guilt washed down her face, and she looked away, feeling the tears coming.
“Mindy?” His voice was concerned. “What’s wrong?”
“I'm just being silly.”
He sat up, his breathing hitching and he put a hand on her shoulder. “Talk to me.”
Mindy sniffed. She wiped her face and let out a soft breath. “It’s just . . . ever since my siblings died, everything just spiraled out of control. That crash . . . I walked away without a scratch. If I could have traded one of their lives for mine . . . And then I was wasting my life. But I have Ginny, and I’m trying to turn everything around for her.”
Rex kissed her shoulder. “You’re not trying. You’re succeeding. Meyer’s actions don’t negate the fact that you are doing so much.”
“You got hurt because of me. Now the whole island is in danger because of me. My mom was right, I should have just given her up for adoption. It would have been so much better for her and—”
“Stop.” Rex’s voice was firm. He cupped her face in his big, calloused hand and turned her so that she faced him. “Listen to me. You are a loving, devoted mom who takes care of her daughter. Ginny is a healthy baby. She’s a happy baby. You feel guilty for things that you should not feel guilty for. Do you hear me? You’re wonderful, and both Ginny and I are lucky to have you.”
“You got shot—”
Rex put a finger to her lips. “I got shot because of an asshole who cares more about money than other people’s lives. You aren’t alone, Mindy. I am here, and I will be with you every step of the way.”
Mindy leaned into him, her own eyes growing heavy now. He didn’t know how much it meant to her to hear those words. The promise of never being alone again, it was more than she had ever hoped for. The only thing was . . . did it mean more to her than it did to him? Did he understand the pull and tug of her heart when she was near him like this?
“Thank you,” she whispered, trying to tell him everything she felt with those two words.
Ginny had a hand pressed to her cheek, her eyes shut all the way while her mouth continued to suck, then pause, then suck again. Hunger and sleepiness warring with each other.
“Come lie down with me,” Rex whispered to her.
Mindy did so, curling up next to him with the space between them filled with Ginny. Rex smiled at her, kissed her again and let his eyes drift shut. Mindy continued to watch him for a while. By God, how lucky she was to have him in her life.
***
Rex fell asleep quickly, as did Ginny but while she rested, Mindy couldn't sleep. She was content to just lie there, though, watching the two of them sleep. It was only when her bladder became too full for her to be comfortable staying still any longer that she got up. After relieving herself, she saw the breakfast mess still in the kitchen and started cleaning.
The sound of car doors closing made her look up. Two women, one with dark hair, the other with flaming red hair, headed up the driveway. Mindy watched them, surprised. They were getting a lot of visitors today.
Mindy quickly opened the door, before they could ring the doorbell and wake Rex or Ginny.
“May I help you?” she asked politely.
The dark-haired woman smiled tensely. “My name is Cynthia Jarvis. This is my sister-in-law, Ruby. There are a few things that we need to discuss with you.”
Mindy’s brow furrowed. “Such as . . . ?”
“Can we come in and sit down?” Ruby pressed. “This is going to be a lengthy discussion.”
Mindy had the urge to tell them no but opened the door anyway. She could at least listen to what they had to say, right? From the grim expressions on their faces, it was something important. They settled down in the living room, and Mindy waited for them to speak. Cynthia glanced at Ruby and Ruby nodded at her.
“This is awkward,” Cynthia started. “I’m not sure what the story with you and Rex is. You should know about some things in his past, though.”
Cynthia started talking quietly about when she first came to the island. Rex had been irrationally obsessed with her, even going so far as to propose. Mindy tensed as the other woman talked. Rex had told her all of this but hearing it from Cynthia’s perspective made it seem much worse. He had dogged her steps, bragged about going to fuck her—not sleep with, not score, plain old fuck with all its crass implications—and she had even been afraid, at one point, that he would force himself on her.
Mindy shook her head hard, her fists tightening. “Rex would never do that!”
“He was ashamed that I would fear that from him,” Cynthia admitted. “But he had made it a habit of not listening to me when I told him I didn’t want him around or that I didn’t want to kiss him. He even challenged my mate, Tyrell, to a fight over me, regardless of what I wanted.”
She couldn’t reconcile what Cynthia was saying with the gentle, loving Rex that she knew. When they were first together, hadn’t he asked her again and again if she really wanted to sleep with him? Had he done that because of how things had gone with Cynthia?
Rex would never hurt a woman that way. She knew that with all her heart. Anger swept through her as she shook her head. “I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but that isn’t Rex. If what you are saying is true, then he’s changed. He’s not like that.”
“It was only a year ago,” Cynthia continued.
“He told me a bunch of that, but you’re blowing it way out of proportion.” Mindy stood. She shook her head again. “No. I don’t believe you. That isn’t Rex. It’s not true.”
A soft voice spoke behind her. “Yes, it is.”
Chapter Twelve – Rex
Small feet kicking into his chest woke him. Pain prickled in his chest, making him grunt as he opened his eyes. He quickly found the source of the kicking. Ginny lay on her back, having turned herself around so her legs were facing him and her head was facing the opposite side of the bed. There was a lot of distance between her and the edge of the bed, but without Mindy there to block her path, Rex turned the baby around.
She grasped one of his fingers in her tiny hand. It was too small to close all the way around his finger. Her blue eyes stared at him, a completely contented look on her face. When he smiled, she smiled back and kicked her legs again.
The moment was interrupted by the smell. Rex wrinkled his nose as he caught a whiff of a dirty diaper. He checked Ginny’s diaper, finding it dangerously full and quickly took her into the bathroom, where he changed her diaper and cleaned her up quickly. Once he was done, he washed his hands and then took her to find Cynthia.
As soon as he stepped into the hall, he heard a low voice. He froze on the spot, recognizing it as Cynthia’s. In a
n instant, the guilt from everything he had done washed over him. He stood there, unable to make himself move as his gaze riveted on the open doorway leading to the living room, his heart pounding.
His heart sunk as he listened to the conversation, Cynthia recounting his many sins. It didn’t matter if he regretted his actions or not. He had made those choices, causing her pain and fear and he couldn't take that back.
He was trying to change. He knew that Cynthia, of all of them, deserved the time to see for herself that that was true. He was far more willing to be patient with her than he was with Jarvis. Come to think of it, though, his past behavior was exactly why Jarvis was hesitant to trust him again. Was Cynthia here because Jarvis had started talking to her about having Mindy and Rex over for dinner? In any case, Cynthia clearly thought that Mindy needed to hear her side of the story.
Which she did. Mindy needed to have a clear vision of the sort of person he was.
“It was only a year ago.”
“He told me a bunch of that, but you’re blowing it way out of proportion. No. I don’t believe you. That isn’t Rex. It’s not true.”
Rex couldn’t stay quiet. He stepped into the living room, throat dry and heart pounding. Mindy needed to know exactly what she was getting herself into with him. “Yes, it is.”
Mindy jumped as she turned. All eyes turned to him, and he stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do or say. His gaze moved from Ruby’s distrustful glare to Cynthia’s nervous look and finally to Mindy. Despite her words, there was doubt in her eyes. Rex flinched to see it, but he didn’t try to defend himself.
He moved a little further into the room, his eyes on Mindy. “Everything that Cynthia just told you . . . it’s true.”
Mindy shook her head stubbornly. “No, it’s not. You wouldn’t have hurt her.”
Guilt swamped his stomach. He wanted to say that of course, he wouldn’t have but the truth of the matter was that it didn’t matter. “She thought I might. That sort of fear doesn’t come out of nothing. So . . . it’s true that she thought . . . and you need to know that. But what Mindy is saying is true, too,” he turned to Cynthia and Ruby this time. Ginny kicked in his arms, and he adjusted her so she could look at the gathered group. “I am changing. I know what I did was wrong and terrifying. I’m making sure that never happens again.”
Neither woman’s gaze softened.
Rex hesitated a moment longer before he nodded. They didn’t have to forgive him.
“You’re not—” Mindy started, but he interrupted her.
“You deserve all the facts and from different sources. I’ve told you my side of things. You need to hear it from them, too,” he nodded to Cynthia and Ruby. “Even the things that I’m too ashamed to tell you about. I . . . I wish I knew what to say . . . ”
He stood there for a moment longer before he eased Ginny into Mindy’s arms. “I’ll leave so that you can talk more openly. Just . . . Mindy . . . you need to listen to them. Okay? I need you to listen to them. To everything.”
Mindy’s jaw hung open slightly, as though she wasn’t certain why he was doing what he was doing.
Rex swallowed, wanting to say something to assure her that he wasn’t the same man who terrorized Cynthia, even if it had been unwitting. He’d been full of anger and grief and desperation. Too full of himself and his own entitlement and loneliness to open his eyes and see what she wanted. His eyes flickered to her and that look on her face, still nervous, still distrustful, made him flinch.
It was only Mindy holding Ginny that kept him from retreating into himself. Seeing them, he was reminded that he was changing. He was getting help for his problems, he was taking action to make sure that he was a better person for them. He wanted to be a good father for Ginny. A good . . . support . . . for Mindy.
He headed for the door, intent to allow them to talk when Mindy’s hand flashed out and grabbed his wrist.
“Wait,” she said firmly. “Just wait. You’re supposed to be on bed rest. I don’t want you ripping open your wounds again.”
He gave her a reassuring smile. When she had heard everything Ruby and Cynthia had to say, would she still be so concerned about him?
“I won’t go far. I’ll just go out behind the house. There’s a hammock that I’ll stay in, okay? It’s just as comfortable as the bed for taking naps.”
Mindy gave him a look that said without words that he’d better do as he said.
He wanted to give her a kiss before he left but that felt inappropriate in the circumstances. So instead, he smiled one final time and headed out the door. Neither Cynthia nor Ruby spoke as he left.
Once he was outside, he breathed in the fresh salty air, ignoring the tightness in his chest. He might have opened up his wounds a bit when he went into town to pay off Meyer, but his sleep had healed them fast. He just had to take it easy for another day or two, that was it.
True to his promise, Rex made his way to the hammock and eased himself down.
Thoughts flashed through his mind. All his regrets, every feeling of inadequacy. When he started to think that he didn’t deserve Mindy and Ginny in his life now because of his actions in the past, he stopped himself. What would Dr. Hopkins say right now? Thoughts were an indication of feelings, they were valid, but sometimes they were lies. Just because you felt one way didn’t mean that it was true.
“I’m trying,” he told himself firmly, replacing the thoughts of not being good enough. “I’m trying my best. I am working on being a better person, and I am succeeding. Little by little, but it’s still a success.”
He closed his eyes briefly. That was what he had been advised to do. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. He clung to that, telling himself over and over that success was one step at a time and that he was turning his life around.
But the uneasy churning of his stomach didn’t ease. Even as he tried to deny the guilt from gaining a strong hold on him, other thoughts snaked in. Now that she was learning everything about his past, what if Mindy no longer wanted him in her life? What if she decided he was too dangerous to be around? What if she didn’t want him near Ginny?
Fear tightened his chest, making it difficult to breathe.
His bear grunted and paced, a thrumming in his muscles making him unable to sit still. Despite his promise to Mindy, he found himself unable to stay in the hammock. Rex got to his feet and glanced around, the familiar sights doing nothing to soothe him. Right now he wanted to feel the sand between his toes and hear the lapping of waves on the shore. He turned on his heel and began to walk toward the ocean, which glittered like a gray-blue jewel in the distance.
He hadn’t gone more than a mile when his chest started pulling so tightly that it was difficult to breathe. Pain shot through his body, and he grunted in annoyance. That thrumming was still there, his bear’s growls saying that he needed to keep moving. But he couldn't. Not in his condition. Even going the mile back to the house seemed a daunting challenge.
Rex slid down, sitting on the ground while he gulped for air. When he touched one of his bandages, his fingers came back wet.
Mindy was going to be furious. So was Noel. He reached for the radio on his belt. Best call for help, rather than opening his wounds even more while trying to get home on his own.
A chuckle sounded behind him. His head jerked up, and he turned to see Meyer approaching. He carried something in his hands, quickly tucking it into his pocket. His eyes blazed with triumph as he stared at Rex.
“Well, it seems that you bears aren’t so invincible after all, eh Rex?”
Rex snarled. He staggered to his feet, ignoring the pain now and loomed over Meyer. The man didn’t so much as blink as he drew his gun and pointed it at Rex’s head.
“I wonder if putting a bullet in your brain will kill you?”
“Or perhaps I’d be faster and snap your neck before—”
Meyer fired the gun. Rex felt the bullet whistle by his ear. The loud shriek made his bear roar, and he felt it foaming at the m
outh, anxious to be released on Meyer. He held himself still, though. That was a warning shot. The next one would no doubt be right between his eyes. He forced himself to back down, though it went against every instinct he had. His bear snorted in disgust. This little man wasn’t an alpha; why should he show deference to him?
Because he’s got the gun.
“I don’t like your attitude, Rex,” Meyer said, a grin starting to spread across his face. “And for that, I think I’m going to double Mindy’s interest. I’ll send an invoice on what she owes me again . . . although perhaps I’ll just add it to the debt that all of you bears owe me now.” Meyer nodded, self-satisfied.
Rex would have liked nothing more than to punch that stupid, smug smile right off his face.
After everything they had been through, having some sick, slippery weasel of a man come here and screw them all over was the last thing they had been expecting. The last thing they needed.
It had taken the island bears years to get to this point. Ever since he was a teen, Rex had been working hard, constantly worrying whether he’d have enough to get through the year. In the last few years, he had just gotten to the point where he had some sort of financial stability. The island as a whole had just gotten to that point. They were just able to start building a better future for their children, something their parents never had the opportunity to do for them.
The last thing they needed was this asshole coming in and taking everything away from them. It was bad enough that he thought he could waltz in and take everything they’d fought so hard to build but by wanting even more money, it would take them another generation to recover.
“So that’s what you do,” Rex said, his bear snarling and he himself barely able to contain his rage. “You pick out your target and bleed them dry. Never mind what sort of trials they’ve been through. No matter what losses or pain—”
“Everyone has pain.” Meyer stepped forward and pressed the gun right against Rex’s forehead. His muscles twitched, wanting to strike the gun right from his hand. In his current condition, he might be too slow, though. Meyer’s lips curled back, baring a fierce snarl. “What makes you think yours is so special? Or Mindy’s? She brought this on herself. Am I supposed to feel sorry for the people who are too dumb to take care of themselves?”