“And with your spirit,” was the immediate and usual response.
“Now let us offer each other a sign of God’s peace.”
Megan immediately turned to her right and held Sonny close. “Peace, Sonny-honey,” she said, using her corny pet name for him as she kissed his cheek.
“Peace, sweetheart,” his deep voice responded in her ear. “I love you.”
Megan melted in his arms. For a brief second, she almost forgot to offer the sign of peace to the other parishioners around her, but an extended hand from the older woman in the pew in front of her reminded her, and Megan immediately shook her hand and wished her peace, though she was blushing a bit.
As Megan turned to shake the hands of a few church members behind her, her eyes suddenly caught the attention of a haggard looking man about three pews back; bearded with dark stubble peppered with a light mix of gray, and dirty, matted, dark hair that almost touched his shoulders. The man was sitting, while everyone else stood during the offering of peace, ignoring everyone around him, who in turn ignored him as well. In the moment that Megan noticed him, she thought this man was staring at her, but by the time her eyesight focused on him completely, he fixed his gaze downward at the floor, as if in deep thought. He appeared lost, saddened profusely, and she felt pity the instant she saw him. It was difficult not to notice him, as he was the only one who remained seated. Time seemed to sit still in this one instant, but it began again as she took her eyes off of him and continued to shake hands with the other parishioners around her.
The mass proceeded as normal. Megan knelt down at the appropriate time, as the priest blessed the bread and wine, and began distributing it to the congregation. She lowered her head in prayer, awaiting for her turn, along with the others in her pew, to get up and follow the recession of the parishioners to receive Holy Communion. She felt unusually uncomfortable, imagining in her mind that the haggard looking man was staring at her again behind her back. For one quick moment, she stole a glance behind her to get another peek at him, sure that his eyes would be on her, but only saw the top of his matted head; she could tell he was kneeling with the rest of the parishioners. She could see that he wore a camouflaged jacket with the sleeves partially rolled up, and that his folded hands against the back of the pew in front of him were unclean. Homeless, she told herself, and faced forward again. She decided that she would say a prayer for this man, whomever he may be, that God would help him find peace and purpose.
Megan and Sonny rose from their pew and moved along the line, until they received Communion. Father Paul smiled at Megan as he offered her the body of Christ. She returned a smile as she said “Amen,” and received it. She followed Sonny, in line, back to their pew, and she looked toward the back to get another glimpse of the homeless man. She wasn’t sure why he sparked her curiosity of him, but she couldn’t shake the idea that he was watching her during the offering of the Sign of Peace. She saw him, still kneeling, and now the only one in his pew. The other parishioners had taken their turn to receive Communion, but he did not join them. Megan assumed that this man had never received the sacrament, and was therefore not confirmed either. Yet there he was, oddly attending Mass, for no other reason than what appeared to be to hear the word of the Lord. As Megan shinned herself into her pew again, in the moment that she was about to take her eyes off the homeless man, his bright, blue eyes glanced up and met hers.
Megan was captivated, held into place by those eyes. She could see his face was slightly tan and that it hadn’t been washed in awhile, but she wouldn’t have been able to recall this, or any other of his facial features, because she was too affixed to his blue eyes that were both powerful and gentle at the same time. Again the man put his head down, which seemed to release Megan from her self-induced trance.
“Babe, you okay?” Sonny whispered to her from his kneeling position. Megan blinked her eyes and looked around. She was still standing in her pew, while everyone else had returned to kneeling.
Embarrassed slightly, she quickly knelt beside her boyfriend and smiled uneasily. “I’m fine, honey,” she whispered back. “I was just distracted for a moment.”
Sonny gave her a friendly smirk and replied, “I have that effect on people.” He gave her a wink, then lowered his head in prayer. Megan couldn’t help but to smile and blush again. Everything about Sonny was perfect, even his teasing. Feeling a little less uneasy, being reminded of his powerfully loving presence beside her, she lowered her head as well, and said her prayers while Communion concluded.
Near the end of Mass, the priest asked the congregation to rise. As they did so, he spoke: “Just a few announcements; the Youth Group will be holding its bake sale outside the church to help raise funds for their trip to retreat this summer. Please show your support of this wonderful opportunity for our kids to spend a weekend with Christ, and buy a few cookies. Dr. Palmer has baked a few loaves of her delicious banana bread. I’m sure they won’t last long, so be sure to get in line.”
Several parishioners laughed quietly, as they knew Dr. Palmer and her culinary skill well.
“We’ll also be holding our weekly Bible Study at Shepherd Hall this Wednesday from 7:30 to 9:00. All are welcome to attend. Finally, we’re looking for a couple of talented voices out there to audition as canter for our 8:00 and 9:30 Masses. Stop by or call the office to contact Mr. Kay, our music director for more information.”
After the announcements, Father Paul gave his blessing and finished the service: “The Mass is ended. Let us go in peace to love and serve the Lord.”
The congregation responded in unison: “Thanks be to God.” With this, the choir began its closing hymn, as the church members scurried from their pews. Megan grabbed her purse and moved into the aisle, genuflecting as she did so, and was promptly followed by Sonny. She locked her arm with his, and the young couple exited to the lobby. Along the way, she looked over towards the pew where the homeless man had been sitting, but he was no longer there. She didn’t see him anywhere in the crowd.
Chapter X
The lobby of St. Elizabeth’s was packed with members of the congregation. Parents accomplished the trying feat of collecting their small children who were blowing off some of their endless energy by running around groups of parishioners. Older parishioners gathered in small circles to converse. Still others, hurried to the parking lot in vain attempt to beat the dispersing traffic that would soon congest the exit to the main road. And of course there were many, along with Megan and Sonny, who gathered around Father Paul, who always greeted everyone on their way out to say hello. Megan could see a rather large group of members outside the lobby, lining up to support the Youth Group by getting their hands on Dr. Palmer’s famous banana bread.
“Hello Father,” Megan smiled to the priest as she and Sonny approached him, and gave him a warm embrace. “How was your week?”
“Hello Megan,” Father Paul greeted her. “Mine was busy as usual, but progressive. And you? Staying out of trouble?”
Megan smiled. “You know me, Father. I don’t make waves.”
“Father,” Sonny also greeted as he shook the priest’s hand. “Great homily today.”
“Glad you enjoyed it, young man,” Father Paul smiled. Megan smirked and rolled her eyes at her boyfriend. She noticed, only recently, that Sonny said the same thing to Father Paul every Sunday after Mass, and the priest always gave the same response. She almost mouthed their words as they spoke them. As she looked over at Sonny, she noticed in her peripheral vision, the homeless man standing not too far from them. She never would have known he was there, if not for the camouflaged jacket. Megan focused on the man, and saw that his back was to them, and he was fumbling through his pockets for something.
“So, will I be seeing you two this Wednesday evening at Bible Study?” Father Paul asked them, bringing Megan’s attention back to him.
“I’m there every week,” she affirmed with a smile.
“I won’t be able to this week, Father,” Sonny announ
ced. “I’ve got exams coming up soon, so I’ll be with an entirely different study group this week. Sorry.”
“No need to apologize son,” the priest consoled. “You’ve got an important future ahead of you. I’m very happy to see however, that you’ve taken time out for God and attended service today.”
“And taking some time out for my darling Megan,” he said proudly. “She’s a little bummed that I can’t take her to the movies tonight, but I’m making it up to her by having lunch with her.”
Father Paul laughed. “Well you two love-birds stay out of trouble. Don’t you go corrupting our Megan here, Sonny. She’s a good, Catholic girl, and I’m depending on you to keep it that way.”
“Don’t worry Father,” Megan joined in the priest’s laughter. “Sonny’s a good, Catholic man. He’s being a proper gentleman.”
“He better,” Father Paul smiled. “You kids enjoy your weekend. And I’ll see you Wednesday night.” He pointed playfully at her as he said this, then gave attention to other members of the congregation waiting to greet him.
The couple exited the church. Megan noticed on their way out that the homeless man had moved to the wooden poor box along the wall near where she and Sonny greeted Father Peter. He was dropping coins into the narrow slot at the top; no doubt, they were what he was fumbling for in his pockets. Megan felt the man should have been given the contents of the box and not donating to it himself, but this apparent selfless act by the man gave her a small lump in her throat. She quickly remembered her mother again, who would always put what loose change she had in the poor box, even during times that required her family to be financially prudent. She was so moved by this generous gesture, the poor giving to the poor, that she wanted to stop by him to whisper, “God bless you sir,” but she lacked the boldness to do so and only smiled at him pitifully as he left the lobby…
“You’re doing it again,” Sonny commented outside the church.
“Doing what?” Megan asked, again broken from her inner thoughts.
“Being… distracted. Are you sure you’re okay?”
Megan smiled solemnly. “Of course,” she answered warmly. “Just thoughts on my mind. That’s all.”
“Anything in particular?”
“Not really,” she fibbed, not wanting to bring up her mother again with him. She was afraid she’d only sound like a broken record, so she felt her little white lie to be justified; she wouldn’t burn in Hell for it. “Life in general,” she went on. “Not looking forward to work this week. It will be hard dealing with… Butch… without getting to see you, but I don’t want to distract you from your studies. I’m sure exam week is strenuous.”
“Yeah,” Sonny agreed. “I’m not looking forward to it much either, hon. But the week will go by fast. Once the semester’s done, I’ll have a nice break, which I plan on spending a good deal of it with the most beautiful woman in the world.” He leaned over and gave her a sweet peck on the cheek.
Megan leaned the side of her head against Sonny’s broad, muscular shoulder as they strolled to her car. Again, she couldn’t believe her luck in landing such a perfect specimen of a man. Sonny had it all: intelligence, good humor, the most physically attractive qualities on every inch of his body; even his hair was sexy beyond description. If he weren’t so interested in veterinary science, he could easily make a career out of modeling, acting, politics, anything he wanted. He was nothing short of a dream, and yet here he was, in the flesh, giving all of his free time to a girl-next-door like her. She sometimes wanted to question him; ask him what he ever saw in her, but better not to look a gift horse in the mouth, as her father always said… before he became a sorrowful man, falling into despair.
“So,” she began after a moment of sweet silence in the arms of her man, “where do you want to eat?”
“Oh, you know I’m always in the mood for anything,” he replied casually, “but I hear Cookie’s Diner has a great chicken salad sandwich.”
“Sounds good,” she agreed. “How about I buy today?”
“Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart!”
“Oh, Sonny,” she shook her head, “you don’t always have to be a perfect gentleman. You know I’m the one generating income. You’re the student, remember?”
“I know,” Sonny said, squeezing her close to him before leaving her side to get in the passenger side of the car, “but I already feel weird having you drive us everywhere so I can save on gas. I can at least feel like I’m bringing something to the table by paying for you on our dates.”
Megan slid into the driver’s seat of her Volkswagen Beetle. “Well,” she began teasingly, “you could always pick me up in your car and be the one driving everywhere.” She could tell he didn’t find her banter amusing. He seemed slightly embarrassed with their current arrangement: he would drive to her apartment, which was only a few miles from his one near campus, then they would take her car anywhere they wanted to go.
She decided to put the joking aside and set his threatened manhood at ease. “You’re so sweet,” she continued when they were both buckled, “and I’m very grateful for your chivalry, but I know money can be tight. It’s okay to let me treat you every now and then.”
Sonny looked at her and smiled. His brown eyes captivating her as strongly as the crystal blue ones of the homeless man in church, if not stronger. “Hon, I don’t want to argue over who pays. And I’m not trying to be sexist or anything like that. It just feels good to be able to treat you. It really does. It’s just one small gesture that barely symbolizes how much I want to make you happy.” He then leaned into her, and kissed her passionately.
Megan was lost inside that kiss. She froze and melted. Shivers ignited like electric flame up and down her entire body. She never felt so controlled before in her life, and she never believed that being so controlled could feel so good. “You do make me happy,” she whispered with her eyes closed, once Sonny gently removed his perfect lips from hers. He said nothing, only looked upon her with loving eyes. “Cookie’s it is,” she finally managed to stutter out as she started the Beetle’s engine.
Before she moved the gearshift into “Drive,” Megan turned to face him again. “You know, we can just skip lunch altogether.” She found herself tracing her fingernails up and down his leg, wishing that trousers weren’t hiding the thick, strong thighs beneath them. “We could go back to my place… have a completely different kind of meal…” She was very close to him as she spoke, and started gently nibbling on the side of his neck.
Sonny began to breathe heavily. “Man, that’s hard to resist,” he said with an airy tone. He sat still and enjoyed her playfulness a little longer. “Babe,” he finally said with a little chuckle in his wavering voice, “we just got out of church.”
“I know,” she whispered, kissing his neck more forcefully. “I’m a bad girl. Maybe you should take me home and punish me.”
Sonny gently took her hand, but stopped her fingers from playing with his leg. “Wait,” he said with more resolution this time. “Have you ever been ‘punished’ before?”
Megan ceased in her seductive activity on his neck and looked at him. Self-doubt crept up inside her as she was puzzled that her perfect man would intentionally kill the moment. “You know I haven’t, Sonny,” she answered, trying to hide that doubt. “Don’t you believe me?”
“Of course I do,” he smiled, “and I admire that about you, but you seem so willing to end that streak all of a sudden. I guess I’m just a little surprised that someone who’s so committed to her morals is so quick to be unreserved.”
Megan wasn’t sure how to respond to this quick change in atmosphere between them. First, a passionate kiss that was so inviting, then a cautious engineer putting on the brakes before the train even left the station. “Maybe I’m ready now. I am twenty-three. Everything feels so right about you, Sonny. You make me feel so loved. I don’t think that denying ourselves the physical enjoyments of this relationship could be a bad thing.”
Sonny was silent.
As hard as she tried to bore into his expression, for once she couldn’t even begin to read him. “What is it?”
“Nothing,” he answered quickly. Megan didn’t know what to say. She only felt an impending pit growing in her stomach, for fear of a good day going suddenly bad. She turned to face the dashboard and slid her key into the ignition. Before she could start the engine, Sonny spoke again: “You’re sure you’ve never had sex before? I mean, you’re being straight with me right?”
“Sonny…”
“It’s okay if you have, Megan. I won’t think any differently about you. I promise. But I need to know the truth. If this relationship is going to work, we have to make honesty a priority. I’m not saying you’re a liar. I don’t mean to sound like I don’t trust you. I do. But I also know that sometimes, people feel the need to hide certain things about themselves, and if that’s the case, I completely understand and don’t hold it against you. I haven’t lived your life, so I don’t judge. If you feel the need to hide anything from me, I’m sure you have your reasons for it. But I’m asking you that if you love me, that you’re up front with me about this.”
Megan felt a small wave of anger inside her, mixed in with the insecurity and the paranoid fear of this best-relationship-ever going downhill, but before she lashed out harshly at him, which was on the tip of her tongue to do so, she started to get the sense that perhaps, she wasn’t the only one in the car who was having feelings of uncertainty. As irritated as she felt, she knew that patience was a kingly virtue, so she would force herself to be more understanding than she wanted to be.
“Sonny,” she finally said firmly, “I’m a virgin. I did not lie about that. I’ve nothing to hide from you. Aside from the drama at work, my grief of losing my mom, and my issues and worries for Dad, everything else about my past is normal and boring. Either you believe me or you don’t. Honesty is key, but so is trust.”
“I know,” Sonny said sheepishly. “Okay,” he conceded with a release of air from his lungs.
Agents of Shadow Page 13