by Kim Cormack
She whispered, “I love you.”
He abruptly pulled away as though she’d just launched a bucket of ice water at him. What was he doing? He blocked her hand and cautioned, “If you keep trying to seduce me Kayn. I’m going to give you exactly what you’re asking for. I don’t have the strength to keep turning you down.”
“I know you care about me,” Kayn whispered as her eyes searched for the truth in his.
Kevin placed his hand against her chest to keep her from coming closer as he admitted, “Of course I do but the guy you’re in love with is gone. That’s not who I am. I could never be him and survive in Triad. I had to become colder and stronger, to be a leader. The person I need to be, to survive is the opposite of what you want.”
“I hear what you’re saying,” she implored. “I know you’re right but can’t we pretend for a little while longer?”
He was fighting against the urge to continue as he groaned, “That’s just it. It’s time to stop pretending that everything hasn’t changed. It’s only postponing the inevitable.”
“We get to choose our path,” Kayn whispered. “We can choose to keep our friendship alive. We can choose to always care about each other.”
Kevin wanted to take her in his arms and make her understand that he’d always be hers but that would be the most selfish thing he could possibly do. He gazed into her eyes knowing he couldn’t say the words teetering on his tongue, but his brain was losing the argument with his heart. Kevin could see the longing in her eyes as she aggressively pulled him closer. He couldn’t help his reaction as her tongue darted against his, deepening the seduction until every nerve ending in his body was screaming at him to ignore ration and just do it. He began feathering seductive kisses down her throat to her shoulder and on those magical freckles that twisted his insides into knots of desire. Kayn gasped as he cupped her breast and breathlessly whispered against her skin, “Do you want me to take you? I can keep going. It won’t make me remember you and it won’t make me love you back.” She placed her hand firmly against his chest to signal that he’d made his point. Kevin stepped away from her as he explained, “I don’t want to hurt you. I have to count on the other Triad to get out of here and they have to feel like they can count on me. I can’t be seen helping the enemy. Stephanie’s already going to go postal on me for jumping in after you back there. I left my own clan to make sure you were safe. I jumped off a cliff with you. I followed you into rapids. I left Patrick and Stephanie standing there wondering, what in the hell I was doing? They need to get out of here. They’re stuck in hell and I ditched them for one more second with you. We need to stay away from each other. In this new life, we can only bring each other pain.”
Kayn said, “You realize that in one breath you say you don’t feel the same way and in the next you act like your feelings for me can’t be controlled with anything but my complete and total absence from your life?”
He touched her arm. He didn’t want her to think he didn’t care because he did...too much.
Kayn shook her head and whispered, “Don’t.”
They wandered out from under the falls into the mystical looking tropical rainforest. The lush intoxicatingly fragrant jungle was beautiful but everything paled in comparison to her. He’d hurt her deeply. He couldn’t make anything better, so he left her there, staring at the mark on her hand and wandered off. The sights and sounds were so realistic. He pushed aside the ferns as he trekked further into the overgrown brush needing some space to breathe. He gazed up at the covering of palm leaves above and whispered, “This isn’t fair.” The palm’s swayed above him causing the sun’s rays to flicker through. It was as though they were waving him away. This place was so realistic. Kevin ran a hand along a ridged fern. It was difficult to wrap one’s mind around this city sized crypt. He wanted to find the science behind it but this place of magic defied all logic. The brightly coloured birds seemed as real as any he’d come across during his travels and the rich chocolate soil beneath his bare toes felt exactly as it would have back home. He had to face her. He couldn’t hide in the jungle indefinitely. Kevin made his way back to where he’d left her. She was sitting by the shore in front of a cluster of purple orchids. He watched as Kayn curiously touched the sticky stamen of the exquisite orchid. As he approached she moved her hand, plucked the flower from the soil and tossed it into the water. She watched it drift away. Kevin sat down beside her and said, “I don’t want to keep hurting you.”
“I know you don’t,” Kayn replied. “I should have listened the first dozen times you gave me that speech.”
Her blonde hair was glistening in the sunshine like she had a halo. He cared about her ...so much. It wasn’t fair. He wanted to kiss her so badly it hurt but it was cruel to keep sending her mixed messages. Kevin needed her to understand their reality, so he picked her a flower to lighten the blow. She hesitated, so he tucked it behind her ear as he questioned, “What would we do in these fantasies of yours? See each other once or twice a year and be forced to fight? Maybe, we’d sneak away from our clans and steal a kiss or have sex in a closet? It wouldn’t be romantic. It would be torture. You would spend every single day aching to be with me. I’m a guy. If I slept with you it would make things easier for me. Question answered and territory conquered. It’s not going to be about anything more than that for me because I’m not the same person.”
Kayn started to giggle. She teased, “Don’t sugar coat it or anything.”
Kevin grinned and retaliated, “I can see how we would have been best friends though. Everything about you is appealing. You are so weird. You have a warped sense of humour. Your hair always looks messy and I swear, I’ve never seen you without dirt on your face. I don’t even know how you do it. We just got out of the water.”
Suddenly concerned, she asked, “Is there actually dirt on my face right now?”
He wiped the streak of mud off her cheek with his thumb. She closed her eyes as he touched her. He wanted to kiss her so badly. She opened her eyes. He winked at her like an idiot. Kayn removed the flower from her hair and spitefully plucked off every second petal. He’d deserved that. She got up and tossed the orchid into the water. It drifted beside the other one for a second before the current pulled them apart.
She spun around and declared, “Let’s get out of here!”
Kevin agreed, “Sounds like a plan.”
“There’s an entrance above the falls,” she pointed out. “What if the exit is below the falls?”
“You mean underwater?” he clarified.
“It would be the most inconvenient place for one to be.” Kayn stated, “That seems to be how this place works.” A brightly coloured toucan flew past. Kayn smiled and jeered, “You brought the Fruit Loops toucan on your rescue attempt, how adorable.”
She was incredibly strange. Kevin cracked a smile while probing, “Fruit Loops toucan? What are you talking about?”
“From the cereal box,” Kayn explained as she stepped into the water. “We ate a lot of it, when we were kids.”
He’d seen boxes of Fruit Loops in the cereal section at the grocery store but it had never looked appealing.
“Never mind, it’s not important,” she stated.
“When we all get out of this place I’ll try some and think of you.” Kevin assured as he ventured deeper into the water.
While chest deep she countered, “I hope both of our clans make it out of here so you can.”
He found himself at a loss for words as he watched Kayn wading away from him. She wasn’t going to make it out unless he violated her trust by hurting her. “I hope your clan makes it out too,” Kevin quietly replied. They waded out to the ledge of the drop off and swam out to the falls. The closer they came to the falls the less they could see because of the mist. She disappeared beneath the surface just as the rest of Triad came flying over the falls. Kevin swam for dry land knowing he couldn’t change what had to be done but it didn’t have to be here and now. Triad swam to shore. They’d come a
fter him.
Stephanie was pulling Patrick’s body behind her so Kevin stepped into the water and helped her drag him to dry land.
The others wandered around checking out the scenery as he sat beside Stephanie in the grass.
“I think I’ve been extremely patient with this situation but I’m done,” she whispered.
Kevin met the disappointment in his friend’s eyes, knowing Stephanie deserved nothing less than the truth, “I know I’ve hurt you and I’m sorry. This won’t happen again.”
“Promise me you’ll do what you’ve been ordered to do the next time you see her and the conversations over,” she said as Patrick began to stir. “We’re not going to get out of here if you keep leaving us for her. You have to know that.”
Kevin nodded as Patrick opened his eyes. He’d been fixated on Kayn and he couldn’t be anymore. These were his people. This was his clan. His future was with them, not her. Kevin stood up and announced, “I know how to get out of here. Let’s go.” He led his clan under the falls and they surfaced in a pool within a cave. They scaled the rock face and stepped into a sandy corridor. He’d managed to give Kayn a head start but she’d left a clear trail of footprints in the sand. Kevin stepped in front of his group and whispered his intent, “I have to do this.” Stephanie handed him her knife and nodded. Triad silently crept through the sandy stone maze lit by torches until they found her. He had to break her spirit so she could be reborn. There was no other choice. Kevin grabbed her from behind and pressed his blade against her throat.
Kayn whispered, “What now?”
He whispered in her ear, “I have to,” as he slid his blade across her skin. In shock, she staggered forward, clutching her neck as her blood spurted into the sand. As she bled out, he became hollow inside. He’d slit her throat from behind like a coward. She would never forgive him.
His betrayal came full circle when Kayn burst into a room where Triad and Trinity were battling it out. She slayed everyone with the sole purpose of retribution. Kevin was looking into her eyes as Kayn took her vengeance by slitting his throat. He awoke knowing he’d succeeded. He’d destroyed what he loved the most and in her place there was a monster. Kevin carried on through the simulation of hell, knowing everyone in his clan would die if he didn’t pull himself together. Triad fought and died together until they finally found their way out of the Testing. When Ankh made it out, Kevin was so relieved that nothing mattered. He could live through a thousand years of her hatred, knowing he’d played a part in her survival. Triad was at the banquet for the survivors, when Ankh strolled in. Kayn was absolutely breathtaking in a golden gown with a sexy slit that stopped at the top of her thigh. The reality of what happened in the Testing hit him. He’d hurt her because he had to. He’d changed her to save her life. She’d brutally murdered him because she wanted to. That night he had a vision, the King planned to take her virginity. He tried to warn her but she wouldn’t even look at him. He knew he could trust Patrick. Tiberius and Lexy were also brought on board with the plan. An unlikey group saved her that night and for him it felt like a step in the right direction to atone for his sins.
The first time their paths crossed after the Summit, it was during a job. They were supposed to confine the Ankh in a storage container in the desert so Triad could get away with one of Ankh’s Correction survivors. Kevin was given an aerosol can of chloroform and some spelled chains as were the others. They were ordered to take the Ankh out as they slept. It seemed like a rather drama free job everyone would be out cold. He snuck in through the bathroom window of her motel room, tip toed over to her bed and completely lost his train of thought because she was sleeping on top of the covers in her tank top and panties. Kevin sprayed the air above her as she slept. He restrained her with the spelled chains but she woke up before he had the chance to move her. They had a flirtatious exchange before he chloroformed her again. He moved her in her scantily clad state and put her in the backseat of the vehicle he was driving. He hadn’t gagged her because truth be told he'd been hoping to have a moment alone with her but Stephanie jumped into the car with him. Kayn woke up again during the car ride and Kevin had to keep his cool. He’d been having visions and knew she had to move on but it killed him that Frost was the object of her affection. Unable to stop himself, he kissed her goodbye before leaving her chained up in the broiling hot storage container just to mess with Frost.
The next months went by with only a few brief run ins with Ankh but they were still connected by their dreams and he had a front row seat as she fell for Frost. When they finally slept together, Kevin awoke in the middle of the night wishing he could gouge his heart out. It wasn’t what he’d wanted for her. From his vantage point, it felt cold and emotionless. He’d fantasized about being with her so many times and in every version it had been respectful and beautiful. Kevin sat awake drinking himself into a stupor till the wee hours of the morning, refusing to close his eyes. If he was forced to witness one more second of her giving herself to that tool he might lose his mind. Once Kevin was blind drunk, he found his way to Stephanie’s room. She opened the door and for a night he forgot about Kayn Brighton. Each night he bared witness to Kayn finding her way through the complications of her afterlife. He watched the struggles between her and her Handler with curiosity, knowing he was the original choice. Kayn walked into that pub in Alaska and his heart damn near stopped. It was just her and Zach. It was obviously a trap but for the opportunity to spend five minutes with her, he was willing to pretend it wasn’t. Kevin finally had the chance to apologize for what he’d been forced to do in the Testing and once he had, he felt so much lighter on the inside. When he got back to his room, he realised she’d stolen his phone but it had been worth it. In the proceeding days he spent his time travelling to the next job while trying to work through his feelings. Kevin was happy with Frost. It may not be who he would have chosen for her but she loved him and he had to learn to suck it up. If he could manage to support her endeavours perhaps one day they could find a way to be friends again.
It wasn’t long before he began having perilous visions about the repercussions of her recently discovered paternity. Her status as part Guardian was going to come with some rather treacherous complications. She wasn’t doing well adapting to the demanding feeding schedule of a Conduit. Kayn didn’t appear to understand the ability at all but she always seemed to be able to tap into Frost’s ability. This made sense because Chloe was a part of her and her twin had that same gift. Kayn had also figured out how to summon up orbs of energy to use as a weapon but she had no control over which kind she generated. The shit had hit the fan when she accidentally sent a bunch of demons back through the hall of souls. Mortality was not a reward bestowed upon evil things. There was no greater gift. Mortals were granted the divine privilege of living in blissful ignorance. Sometimes Kevin wished he was back in his old life completely oblivious to the trials of the afterlife. It was just the two of them against the world. Everything had changed. All he could do is try to keep her one step ahead of the beings that wished to harm her.
They ended up at the other continent’s pre Summit banquet together and after he’d gone out of his way to warn her, she tossed him over a balcony. A few days later, here he was again having psychic visions of her. She’d been caught by a rather devious sect of Abaddon and as he’d foreseen, they were aware that she could send demons back through the hall of souls. They had to silence the gossip. Every demonic entity would be coming after the promise of salvation. He had another vision and this time, they were trying to force her to put her ability into a weapon. Kevin was about to try to contact her clan when Seth appeared in all of his devious glory. Triad’s Guardian explained the situation, the rest of clan Ankh were too far away to intervene. The Dragons and their Handlers were being held by Abaddon in a farm less then thirty minutes away. They must have been weakened in some way. Taking Lexy was nearly impossible. Triad was the closest so they were being sent in. He wanted to believe Kayn would take herself out be
fore she’d give Abaddon what they wanted but she’d been recklessly unhinged since the Testing. Kevin summoned up every last ounce of their connection to warn her of Abaddon’s true motives. They couldn’t force a dead person to do squat. Kayn had to take herself out. That was the intelligent move. His grandfather was pacing back and forth cursing up a storm. Kevin had been fairly certain that Tiberius had no serious intentions with Lexy but the panic in his eyes, led him to believe he was missing a part of the story. It struck him as peculiar that Tiberius would be this concerned about a girl who was practically indestructible. It didn’t take them long to get to where they’d been told the Ankh were being held. One of their Triad had an ability to find immortal beings at close range using a heat sensing aura filter. It didn’t take more than a few seconds for everyone else to figure out that they’d split up the Dragons and Handlers because there were two accumulations of heat signatures on the property. They were using Zach to control Kayn and Grey to control Lexy. It was the obvious move. At one point in his life he could have guessed every move Kayn would make but not anymore. In his visions Kayn was with Grey and they were trying to force her to put her light into a sword so they could use it to pass through the hall of souls. They peeled away and sped to the closest group of heat signatures. Triad got out and raced to the barn. Instinct told him Kayn wasn’t in there. She was in the barn on the outskirts of the property. Intuition urged him to use their psychic connection to get through to her. Kevin remained in the car with the engine running as he slipped into his mind. She needed to be taken out of the equation. He thought of who Kayn was and what she was destined to become. Visions of her travelled through his mind, the freckles on her skin, the way sunlight shone through her hair brought him to her. She couldn’t see him but he could see her. As Kayn stepped closer to the blade, he fought to get through to her, “No! Don’t do it! We have the others. Take yourself out!” Kayn paused, appearing to be confused. She’d heard him. She took another step, without her eyes leaving the blade on the table. Why should she trust me? She was going to need more. He spoke to her subconscious again, “Do you remember when we were thirteen and we were caught sneaking your dad’s homemade beer out of your carport? I told him it was all me. I told him it was my idea and you didn’t even know I had it. I told you I would always have your back. Please! believe in me now!”