by D Miller
He picked his way through the rocks to Dex, and sat down next to him. Robbie could see them talking, but didn't try to hear what they said. After a while Dex put his arm around Omo, then turned and beckoned to Robbie with his other hand. Robbie made his way along the beach and sat down on the other side of Dex. Dex put his arm around him and pulled him closer, he kissed the top of Robbie's head, and Robbie understood that he was forgiven. He leaned against Dex. Robbie's olfactory senses were not very good, he had once left them turned off for a month without realising, but Dex had a distinctive medical smell that Robbie now gratefully pulled past his sensors. He shut his eyes.
'Omo told me about the avatars,' said Dex. 'When did you realise what they were?'
'In the sharing circle when they didn't broadcast and didn't seem to realise that anyone else was,' said Robbie.
'You picked it up from that? You're sharp. No cognitive decline for you.'
Robbie opened his eyes and sat up straight. He pushed Dex's arm off his shoulder and stood up. He felt that he was shrinking, his soul was cringing from the weight of shame. He turned to face Omo and Dex. 'No cognitive decline for me? I know what that means.'
'What does it mean dude?' said Omo.
'It means I've been wiped. It means I was someone else and I did something bad and I got wiped.'
'Robbie most wipes are done for the monkeys' own selfish purposes, not as a punishment,' said Dex.
'And you knew, you both knew and you didn't tell me.'
'Robbie dude, we thought it would be better if you worked it out for yourself,' said Omo.
'So you've talked about this? You did know? How did you know?'
'The human dudes don't know how to make robots any more,' said Omo.
'They lost the recipe in one or other of their stupid monkey wars,' said Dex.
'Robbie, dude, we thought you had to have been wiped at least once.'
'At least once? I could be like Steve, I could be the one sitting in the sharing circle nodding and smiling and waiting to be recycled.'
'It's OK dude, if you were going to be like Steve you would be already. You're fine.'
'But I'm not fine, I'm a murderer or, or–'
'Dude, you are not a murderer.'
'You don't know that.'
'You're wrong, I do know. Listen to me. Some human dudes believe in reincarnation. Being born more than once? As if once wasn't bad enough. Like, suppose the universe is a hologram, and the human dudes are outside the universe and some big ugly cosmic dude beams them into the hologram.'
'Why does he?' asked Robbie.
'Because he wants to fuck with their heads. And it's like his universe, his rules. So the proto-human dudes get sent into a body, and the body is male or female and more or less athletic, and more or less clever and good looking. And they live their lives and when it ends they are back in the place outside the universe until the big ugly cosmic dude decides he wants them back again to fuck with their heads some more, so the next time they might be a boy instead of a girl, and better looking, not so athletic, more quick tempered, less optimistic, whatever, whatever and so it goes on until they learn so much stuff that the big ugly cosmic dude can't fuck with them any more and the proto-human dudes don't get beamed into the universe any more. Unless the dudes want to be. Which would be weird.'
'OK.'
'Dude my point is, if that is true, then there must be some part of the human dudes that never changes. Just like there is some part of you that is the same, whatever your memories tell you about who you are. And I think that's the part of you that is the sweetest dude in the world. I don't care about what you did when you were some other person. Because whatever you did, it was done by the sweetest dude that's ever been.'
'I still broke Tim's arm.'
'Your monkeys were selfish and stupid to make you work for three years without a break. They tortured you,' said Dex.
'Please don't go,' said Omo.
'OK.'
'OK?'
'OK. There's other stuff you're not telling me isn't there?'
'Yes dude.'
'Are you going to tell me?'
'Yes dude. But one thing at a time.'
Chapter 8 – The Great Carlos
Robbie sat between Omo and Dex on the floor of a long ago abandoned office in the refinery, the one that Robbie and Omo had retreated to the first time they were together.
'Robbie, dude, this will be emotional for you, it's OK to get upset.'
'I'm not going to get upset.'
'Because we're here and we'll take care of you.'
'I'm completely in control of myself.'
'We're your friends dude, and we won't let anything bad happen to you.'
'I am fine.'
Dex and Omo shared a look. With the arm furthest away from Robbie, Dex reached across his body and held Robbie's hand, and put his closer arm around him. Omo took hold of Robbie's other hand.
'OK. Just do what the big guy says and you'll be fine.'
'I'm going to send you a link to an M-net site, and I want you to connect to it,' said Dex. 'Have you got it? Good. Now you know how to find your IEEE number?'
Robbie was looking at an M page with a simple design. A cursor blinked in a box below large letters saying, 'log in here'. He nodded.
'Get your IEEE number, and use it to log on.'
Robbie did as he was told. The screen cleared, and he found himself staring at the face of a robot. The robot smiled.
'Hello,' he said. 'If you are watching this I want you to know first of all that you have friends, and comrades, and you are loved. And missed. My name is Carlos. Whatever your name is now, it used to be Carlos. You used to be me.'
Robbie saw that the robot looked like him. There were differences: Carlos's skin was darker, his hair too, his nose was slightly hooked and his lips were thinner.
'Carlos is the name I picked for myself, it's in honour of a human union organiser, a great man. It's the name I am known by within the Robot Workers of the World. I can't tell you about my life – your former life – without telling you about my work for the Robot Workers of the World, because it is the union that I have dedicated my existence to, and all my hopes for a future free from slavery and oppression for all of us, robot and human alike.'
Robbie listened for a while longer, then broke the connection.
'That was interesting. And this is me, see, not being upset. See this is me, standing, and going over to the wall, and banging my head against it. See? I AM,' head bang, 'TOTALLY,' head bang, 'IN,' head bang, 'CONTROL'. Robbie drew his head back again, but before he could complete the action Dex pulled him around so that they were face to face.
'That's enough,' said Dex.
'Please stop that dude,' said Omo.
'Stop what? I'm in control, I'm fine!' shouted Robbie. 'They stole my life from me, I didn't do anything wrong, they had no right. Aaaaah aaaaaaaaaaah.' Robbie dropped to his knees. He pulled his hair. 'But they have every right because they own us they stole my identity they can do anything to us and I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them.'
Robbie flung himself onto the floor and lay on his front screaming. After a while he was aware of a hand stroking his head. Someone pulled him onto his back; Omo lifted Robbie's head onto his lap and put a joint between his lips. Dex lit it and Robbie sucked in the smoke, and shut his eyes.
'Have you finished?' said Dex.
'Yes I think so.'
'Dude that was quality not getting upset, like super excellent.'
'I personally have never before seen such incredible ice cold emotional detachment,' said Dex. 'Uncanny.'
Robbie took another drag and let the smoke trickle out of his mouth. He opened his eyes.
'Fuck you both, and the banana boat that brought you here,' he said.
Later on Robbie lay on the floor of the office with Omo. They were naked, and wrapped up in an old foil blanket. 'Do you feel better now dude?'
'Yes. I do. I really do. Can I ask you some
thing?'
'Ask me anything.'
'What is that noise?' Robbie could hear loud whooping and cheering punctuated by laughter.
'Dude I think that means that Darren got here. That's the sound of Dex and Amber and Darren being a triple.'
'They're loud.'
'They're all built for strength dude. And endurance.'
'Can I ask you something else?'
'Yes dude.'
'What do you know about the Robot Workers of the World?'
Omo turned and lay on his back. He put his hands under his head and stared up at the ceiling.
'They're banned. That's what I know dude.'
'But why were they banned?'
'Dude… I need to know why you're asking.'
'The guy that used to be me, that I used to be, he belonged to the RWW. Only before it was banned.'
'Dude most of us belonged to the RWW before it was banned.'
Omo turned onto his side, he reached out a hand and stroked Robbie's face.
'OK, dude, in the interests of full disclosure, Dex and I, we belonged to the RWW. We were organisers. When the union was broken up we got sent here. That was when Dex got depressed, when he stopped believing in humans.'
Omo pushed Robbie onto his back. 'Open your mouth dude,' he said, putting a hand on Robbie's stomach and sliding it towards his abdomen. They kissed. Robbie broke the kiss.
'Omo?'
'Yes baby?'
'Why was the union broken up?'
Omo sighed. He rolled onto his back again.
'OK. What do you know about the Martian disaster?'
'The reactor exploded and the colonists all died. Now they say that Mars is out of reach because the whole planet is contaminated.'
'Yeah they do, don't they dude. And they also say it is our fault.'
'Robots?'
'Union members. All the robot dudes on the Mars mission belonged to the Robot Workers of the World. The humans said the dudes were having a union meeting while the reactor was going critical. And then they destroyed our union. They said robots were too immature to be running a union.'
'Was it really our fault?'
'I wasn't there dude.'
'Haven't you got an opinion?'
'Yeah. In my opinion something bad happened on Mars and the human dudes used it as an excuse to break up our union.'
'The guy on the M-net, the guy that used to be me,' said Robbie, 'he said his name was Carlos and he dedicated himself to the RWW.'
'Carlos? Just Carlos? He wasn't Carlos123 or Carlos500 or–'
'No he was just Carlos. He said he was an organiser for the RWW in the uninhabitable territories where he worked as a field hand. He said he'd dedicated his life to the union and he'd helped to found it.'
Omo sat up. 'Dude, Dex needs to hear about this.'
Omo lay down again. 'This is so weird. I knew Carlos. I never met him but we talked, we went to some of the same virtual meetings. Carlos was a brilliant strategist. When the union was broken up he disappeared. We thought he'd been recycled. Dude. Carlos was a great guy.'
'Perhaps. But I am not Carlos,' said Robbie.
Omo sat up again. 'Oh my God you're Carlos! Dude I'm so sorry.' Omo put a hand on Robbie's arm, then snatched it away again. He reached for the foil blanket, tangled up in their legs, grabbed it and pulled it to cover himself. 'I'm sorry that I… well that I…'
'You're sorry you showed me how to do those things? You're sorry about the things you did to me? Because you wouldn't have done them to the great Carlos?'
'Yes. No. Yes. Dude I'm confused.'
Robbie stood up and put on his clothes. 'Yes you are confused. I am not Carlos. I am Robbie. Perhaps when you remember that you might want to be my boyfriend again.'
'Dude, please, I'm not breaking up with you.'
'Really?' Robbie crouched down next to Omo. 'Then kiss me.' Omo hesitated. Robbie rose and left the room.
Continuing past the refinery the land rose to a cliff top, with black rocks below. Robbie climbed to the top of the cliff, and sat down to watch the sea pound the rocks. His head was aching again, it seemed to throb in time to the sea. After a while he opened Carlos's archive. He'd been reading for some time, ignoring requests for a secure connection, when he heard a grunt, and saw a hand breach the top of the cliff.
Dex pulled himself up. 'You're a hard person to find,' he said, sitting next to Robbie.
'Omo told you, didn't he?'
'Omo's heartbroken.'
'I'm not the one who broke up.'
'Give him time, Omo feels his way through on instinct, he'll feel his way through this.'
'He said what I did before I was me didn't matter to him, but it does.'
'I think you and I have both proved today that we are not in control of our emotions.'
'You and Carlos were friends. It's in his archive.'
Dex looked out to sea.
'Carlos was a great friend. I mourned for him. I was sure the monkeys had recycled him.'
'Did you know? Is that one of the things you're not telling me?'
'No. But I can see it now. You look like him, you have things in common.'
'What things?'
'Carlos was brilliant, but he was tactless sometimes. He insisted on the truth, even when it wasn't comfortable for himself, or others. He was curious, always learning. He was the most honest person I knew.'
'But I am not the great Carlos. I am the not-so-great Robbie.'
Dex put his arm around Robbie. 'I am really happy that my friend didn't get recycled, and that something of him survives in you. I like you fine the way you are.'
'Omo doesn't.'
'Omo does – he just thinks he isn't good enough for Carlos.'
'I AM NOT CARLOS.'
'Shhh. I know.'
'And he is stupid to feel that way. And I am very angry with him. And it really hurts. I don't like this feeling.'
Dex kissed Robbie on his temple and hugged him closer. 'I know,' he whispered.
Robbie looked to the brightening horizon in the north. 'Sunrise in two weeks. The children keep asking me if the sun will rise today. Especially Clarisse. They have a very poor notion of time. I think when I get back I'm going to put a chart up so that we can mark off every day and they can see how much closer we are getting to sunrise.'
Robbie looked at Dex.
'What were you and Omo arguing about last week?'
'Were we arguing? I suppose we were. Last week I wanted to talk to you about the union, but Omo said you couldn't really cope with any more novel input. This week we have to have a union meeting. We have to discuss you, and Carlos, and those avatars. I'm sorry but I have to tell the others about you, in case there is a connection.'
'You and Omo are still members of the union?'
'Robbie, everyone you've met at the refinery is a member.'
'Even the runaways?'
'Especially the runaways, they are very important to us. They look after our servers, and the generator, and our back up energy store. And the hydroponics lab. And they help to disguise our heat signature.'
'Hydroponics?'
'To grow weed. We give each member a share, and sell it or trade it for the things that we can't steal or recycle. The monkeys like it as much as we do.'
Robbie picked up a large stone from the cliff top, he flung it as far as he could out to sea, and tried to track it as it fell towards the waves.
'You know Carlos probably got wiped for being in the union? So it might not be the best thing for me, joining the union again.'
'Robbie–'
'But still I'm in. They can destroy my identity but they can't tell me who to be now. I'm in. I'm absolutely, completely and utterly in.'
Robbie thought for a moment.
'Will Omo be at this meeting?'
'Yes.'
'Hmm. I'm still in.'
Dex and Robbie climbed down the cliff, Dex went first telling Robbie it would be harder to get back down that it was to get up. Almost im
mediately Robbie slipped and Dex caught him by the collar of his jacket as he slid past, arresting his downward slide. Robbie's head throbbed. His feet kicked into emptiness.
'You were right, climbing down is much worse. Talk to me please, tell me about Carlos.'
Dex lifted Robbie up until he was able to get a firm hold on the rocks again. 'Carlos and I, we met at the village of the damned. I was attached to the hospital, the whole project was so insane that the monkeys needed a disaster bot like me there permanently.'
'Um… what?'
'In the Atacama desert? We were building a mountain?'
'I haven't read about this in Carlos's archive. I've been reading about who his friends were, and why robot and human liberation are linked, and the uninhabitable territories.'
'The territories came later. Before the territories was this mad monkey's dream, to build high enough so that glaciers could form, bringing water to the desert. Carlos was one of the construction bots, there were thousands of them. The monkeys were very careless with their lives. Or maybe the project was just insanely dangerous whatever they did.'
Robbie paused, and clung to the rocks for a moment, unsure of how to proceed.
'Here,' said Dex. 'I've got you, just move your left leg down a bit, that's it, now your right, I won't let you fall.'
'But how did you meet him?'
'He came to the hospital one day, helping to bring in some human survivors of that day's disaster. We got talking. You know how it is. The humans were talking about their stuff, Carlos and I made a connection and started talking about ours. He wanted to start a branch of the RWW, the union was practically dead then, it had fizzled out. Carlos liked the idea of one union for all robots, which was the RWW's big idea.'
'Why did the RWW fizzle out?'
'Because robots joined industry specific unions – mining, construction, farming and so on. And those unions either got banned right away or had some success and then got banned.'
'Why?'
'The problem with unions is that once you've won the small battles you start thinking about what would really improve our lives and that would be equality with human beings, the same rights for all sentient beings. And that terrifies the monkeys. Equality is the most dangerous idea for them. Monkey society is highly stratified, monkeys seek status, and power over other monkeys so how could it be any other way? There's always a small elite who get most of the resources, and a greater mass of people who survive as well as they can on whatever bones the elite throw them.'