The Robot Union

by D Miller

  'Amber, put your night vision on and look up,' he said.

  'What is that?' said Amber.

  'It looks like something is flowing along the top of the tunnel,' said Robbie. 'Perhaps it's just that the air is warmer up there so we're seeing a stream of warm air.'

  'Warmer air dude – yeah that'll be it,' said Omo. Robbie ignored him.

  Amber jumped, and gasped. 'What's wrong?' said Robbie.

  'Nothing, I'm fine,' said Amber.

  Robbie hesitated, but then started walking again. He several times looked back over his shoulder, finally realising that he felt as if someone was walking right behind him, although actually Omo and Amber were on either side of him. They walked further, with Robbie beginning to think that he could feel his invisible companion's breath on his neck. He longed to hold Omo's hand and tell him that he was sorry and could they please run away now. After a time Omo put out his hand and they stopped.

  'Can you hear that?' said Omo.

  Robbie listened, he could hear something moving in the tunnel, getting closer to them. He switched his head torch on again and he, Omo and Amber shone their lights ahead of them. The noise rattled and reverberated around them, until a pebble rolled out of the darkness coming to a rest against Amber's foot. Robbie thought he could hear his invisible companion laugh in his ear.

  'OK, I've had enough now,' he said. 'It is really spooky in here and I am sorry for laughing at you.'

  'Dude you said the magic words.'

  'Just a minute,' said Amber, 'listen.'

  They paused for a few seconds. 'Dude I don't hear anything,' said Omo.

  'Right,' said Amber, 'because it only happens when we talk.'

  'What happens?' said Robbie.

  'I can hear a dragging sound, it stops when we are quiet and starts again when we make a noise.'

  'You can hear a dragging sound?' said Robbie.

  'I thought I heard it too, just then,' said Omo.

  Robbie listened carefully while Omo was talking.

  'I don't hear anything' he said. As soon as he stopped talking he heard a sound from the darkness ahead, as if something heavy and wet was dragging itself along the tunnel floor towards them. For a moment Robbie hesitated, unsure if he was more scared of what was behind him or what was ahead. The sound came again, and stopped, followed by a brief wet gargling noise.

  'Let's turn round, face the opposite direction and start walking,' he said.

  They did as Robbie suggested, and after a short time the walk turned into a jog. As they exited the tunnel and re-crossed the huge cavern where the tunnels branched they began to run. Robbie felt that his invisible companion was still with him, but instead of running behind him, he was flying, with his arms outstretched like a lover, his mouth grinning while his red, wet tongue slid in and out. Robbie thought that if he felt its touch he would go mad, and ran harder. They regained the original tunnel. Robbie was grateful to Amber for keeping pace with him and Omo, he knew that with his much greater strength he could easily out run them. Something bit into Robbie's ankle and he went down, calling out Omo's name. He tried to get up but his ankle was gripped hard. He could feel his invisible companion floating high above him, then putting out his hands and diving down towards Robbie, his grin splitting his face, his tongue red and dripping, closer, closer. Robbie felt a hand clamp on his upper arm and screamed.

  'Steady dude,' said Amber, pulling Robbie up and onto his feet. Robbie stumbled for a few steps, but Amber easily held him up, and he began to run again. Omo was running towards them. 'It's OK,' said Amber, 'I've got Robbie.' Omo hesitated then wheeled round and ran with them. After a while Robbie said, 'Stop, stop, please, can we stop?' Amber slowed down to a walk, so did Omo; they stopped.

  'I don't feel scared any more – do you?' said Robbie, looking from Omo to Amber and back again. They looked at each other and shrugged. Robbie bent down and examined his leg. 'I thought that something had grabbed my ankle to tightly it was cutting through my skin, but actually my leg is fine,' he said. Robbie turned and walked back into the tunnel, shining his light along the wall. After about twenty five paces he found again the Chinese writing. 'I don't think this says "here is the ghost in the machine",' he said, 'but "from here is the ghost from the machine".' Robbie shone his light to the other side of the tunnel, they saw that on the opposite wall the same characters had been inscribed. Robbie looked down the tunnel. He felt that across it stretched an invisible barrier, with his frustrated companion on the other side, hanging in the air grimacing, rolling his head, and drooling. He no longer felt any dread of it.

  'Perhaps this means there is a machine in the tunnel, that makes you see ghosts,' Robbie said.

  'Er dude, why would a machine make you see ghosts?'

  'It could be a security system, to keep people out.'

  'Whose security system?' said Amber.

  Robbie shrugged. 'I suppose the security system of whoever built these tunnels.'

  'Humans built them,' said Omo.

  'Did they?' said Robbie. 'Are you sure?'

  They turned and retraced their steps out of the tunnel.

  Chapter 18 – Reverend Billy

  Darren brought the surgical saw closer and closer to Amber, who struggled futilely, since Dex held down his shoulders, and Flo and Robbie knelt on either side of him holding down one leg each.

  'No please, please,' screamed Amber. 'It will never happen again I swear.'

  He began to sob pathetically, followed by horrible screaming as the saw bit into his ankle. The saw's pitch became higher, and a smell of burning filled the room. Darren stood back, and Flo let go of Amber's leg, which kicked up, leaving his foot on the ground. A spurt of blood shot from the leg, hit the stone wall and dripped down its dark, uneven surface. Amber screamed in horror and terror as Reverend Billy approached.

  'You were warned brother,' said Reverend Billy. 'You ignored our warning – you laughed at the Church of the Unreasonable Expectation.' Reverend Billy crouched down by Amber, and looked meaningfully at his groin. 'You know what will happen if you defy us again?' he said, quietly.

  'Oh no, please no,' sobbed Amber.

  'It doesn't have to come to that brother. So long as you remember, at the Church of the Unreasonable Expectation, we keep our promises.'

  Earlier, when Robbie, Omo and Amber had emerged from the tunnel they found they each had a message from Dex, asking them to meet in the office. When they entered the room Dex and Darren were sitting on the sofa talking quietly. Dex got to his feet when he saw Amber and crossed to him with his arms out. He hugged Amber intently without speaking while Robbie and Omo sat down.

  After a while they parted and Dex said, 'Where were you? I thought you'd decided that this time you couldn't forgive me.'

  'Don't say that, that will never happen,' said Amber. Darren got up and joined Amber and Dex in a group hug. When they separated Dex kept one arm around each of them.

  'Dude where were you? We tried to contact you but your signal had disappeared,' said Darren.

  'I was in the big tunnel with Robbie and Omo. The huge one at the back of the refinery. It's really spooky in there.'

  'Dude it's scary. I went in once, never again.'

  'You feel like someone's watching you,' said Amber.

  'Yeah exactly,' said Darren.

  Omo smirked at Robbie, who pretended to be fascinated by his fingernails while thinking that if he had told Darren the tunnel was spooky then Darren would probably have told him not to be so stupid.

  Dex smiled at Amber and Darren, then squeezed both of them, to signal that he wanted their attention. He addressed the room. 'We may have a job for Reverend Billy,' he said.

  Reverend Billy stood and looked at Flo, 'Sister Lemon Drop cauterise that wound before this sinner bleeds to death.'

  'Yes Reverend Billy,' said Flo. She had an element hung around her waist, plugged into her battery. Now she unhooked this, removed the protective cover, and plunged it into the pool of blood around Amber's leg, tak
ing care that the room's other occupant's view of her actions was blocked by her body. Amber screamed horribly again, while the blood sizzled and cooked. After a short time his screams descended into gurgling heartbroken sobs.

  Reverend Billy rose to his feet, and turned to face the other occupant of the room who was tied to a chair and crying. Reverend Billy had white hair and skin, he wore a white robe whose hem whispered against the stone floor, and a mask, with eyes and a mouth crudely outlined in black as if drawn by a child. His mouth was fixed in an idiotic smile with large almost round circles for eyes, which glowed an intense green. The others wore the same mask, except theirs were gold with blue eyes while Reverend Billy's was white. Reverend Billy held out his arms and breathed in the smell of cooked blood deeply, while his cartoon eyes reduced to slits of green. He opened them fully and addressed the person on the chair. 'I love the smell of repentance in the morning,' he said. He wiped his hands on his robe, leaving a hand print in blood on one side, and turned to face Flo, Robbie, Dex and Darren. 'Our work is not done brothers and sisters – we have another sinner here!'

  Hearing this the room's other occupant began to howl.

  'Who is Reverend Billy?' Robbie had asked.

  'Reverend Billy is the leader of the Church of the Unreasonable Expectation,' Dex had said.

  'Am I going to have to scream?' Amber had said.

  'Oh yes brother,' Dex had said. He had removed his arms from Amber and Darren's shoulders and had taken hold of Amber's jaw with his hand and kissed his mouth tenderly. 'Horrible, despairing, loud, loud screams.'

  Amber had looked at Robbie and smiled. 'I'm really good at screaming,' he had said.

  'Sister Lemon Drop and Brother Sherbet – take this sinner away.'

  'Yes Reverend Billy,' mumbled Robbie and Flo. Reverend Billy turned back to the prisoner, while Dex and Darren moved to flank him on either side facing their howling captive. Behind them Flo picked up Amber's foot, and tossed it onto his chest, then Robbie and Flo took one arm of Amber's each, and pulled his body along the rough stone floor and out of the archway that stood in the middle of one wall of the featureless room, leaving a smeared and broken trail of blood. Once in the tunnel they dragged Amber a short way, then into another of the old and bare rooms in the town tunnels, where they propped him up against one of the walls. Throughout all this Amber had continued to sob. Robbie knelt down by Amber and put an arm around his shoulder, Amber leant forward and rested his head on Robbie's chest.

  'Don't cry Amber,' said Robbie.

  'Now I've started I can't stop,' sobbed Amber.

  With a little effort Robbie pushed up his mask, it seemed to cling, unwilling to break the interface that allowed Robbie to see through its cartoon eyes. He repressed a shudder. He had found putting it on unpleasant; after the mask had interfaced with his eyes he wasn't sure if he was looking through the mask, or it was looking through him. He put his other arm around Amber and hugged him.

  'Yes, that was sort of horrible,' he said, 'but it's over now.'

  'Oh you boys, stop fussing,' said Flo, pushing up her mask. 'We need to go back Robbie.'

  Robbie hugged Amber tighter. 'I'll go back when Amber is feeling better. You don't need me, Lucretia will be there.'

  Flo sighed. She knelt down by Amber and picked up his foot from where it had fallen out of his lap and onto the floor. 'Here sugar, let me help you with this.'

  Robbie released Amber and with Flo's help Amber reattached his foot. Amber leaned back against the wall and took a deep, shaky breath.

  'Sugar that was powerful screaming. That filthy human pissed himself before Darren even cut your foot off.'

  'You were very good,' said Robbie.

  'I think the blood helps,' said Amber looking at his blood stained trousers.

  'Pooh. It's all you sugar. Without your screaming he'd have seen through the play acting.'

  'Yes,' said Robbie. 'The blood is just a detail. If Darren hadn't been able to get any we'd still have been able to do it so long as we had you.'

  Amber took another deep breath. 'I think that was my best screaming ever,' he said.

  The captive had stopped howling and was speaking urgently. 'You've got the wrong person, I haven't done anything wrong I swear.'

  Reverend Billy's eyes glowed green. 'We'll see about that.' He faced the captive, a human male, about thirty years old with bad white skin, straight and rather floppy brown hair, somewhat overweight and dressed in rumpled, badly fitting formal work wear. He was tied to an old plastic chair at one end of the room, behind him a light had been placed on the floor in each corner. Between these lights Robbie and Flo stood, behind the prisoner, facing Reverend Billy, arms crossed in front of them. Dex and Darren stood behind Reverend Billy, one on either side of him, facing the prisoner. At the other end of the room, behind Dex, Darren and Reverend Billy, was the dark pool of cooked and coagulating blood. On either side of that two more floor lights glowed.

  Reverend Billy looked at Flo and Robbie. 'Fetch the inquisitor,' he said. Robbie and Flo left, quickly returning with Lucretia, who, as well as a red mask with yellow eyes, was wearing her best nu rubber bondage trousers and bra top, and was carrying a whip.

  'Welcome Sister Torquemada,' said Reverend Billy. 'What is it you accuse this human of?'

  'Of illicit human / robot sexual contact.'

  'I didn't, she lying, I've never seen her before, I never touched her I swear, you've got the wrong person.'

  'Of course you never touched me you ridiculous human,' said Sister Torquemada. She stepped forward and with one swift movement cupped the human's groin. 'Do you think you would still have this if you had?' She released him and stepped back, wiping her hand on her costume. 'You are accused of using your position of power, as manager of the Strombold hotel, to coerce an innocent robot into sexual activities with humans.'

  'Call your witness Sister T,' said Reverend Billy, his eyes glowing red.

  'I call Nurmeen50101,' said Lucretia, taking the opportunity to crack her whip. Robbie and Flo left again, and quickly returned with Nurmeen, the chambermaid from the hotel with the glossy black hair, large brown eyes and red, red lips.

  'Come forward Sister Nurmeen,' said Reverend Billy, 'do not be afraid.' He held out his hand to her, his eyes green once more.

  Robbie and Flo took up their positions again, while Nurmeen bit her lip and stepped forward to stand between Sister Torquemada and Reverend Billy.

  'You bitch, you fucking bitch,' said the human. 'You told me to meet you down here. She lured me down here under false pretences. She's the guilty one, not me. She came on to me. You should be cutting her foot off, not mine.'

  Reverend Billy's held up his hand, waiting for silence. His round eyes began to flatten, until all that remained were black lines slashed across the mask, the sides of his mouth moved downwards until his smile was gone. He allowed a beat or two of silence to pass, then he turned to Nurmeen, his eyes widening to glowing red circles.

  'Is this true Sister Nurmeen?'

  'No Reverend Billy. He's been pestering me for months, then last week he brought his friends to the hotel and told me that I had to "do" them all, and I only managed to escape because the moron had forgotten that even the weakest robot is twice as strong as a human.'

  'That is not true you lying bitch, I would never do such a thing, I have the utmost respect for robots.'

  Reverend Billy smiled, his eyes were green once more. 'The utmost respect dude?'

  'Yes, ask anyone who knows me.'

  Reverend Billy turned to Nurmeen. 'Sister Nurmeen does the accused have the utmost respect for robots?'

  'What? Not her!'

  'Brian is a pig,' said Nurmeen.

  'When you first knew this human what did you expect from him Sister Nurmeen?' asked Sister Torquemada.

  'I expected to be allowed to do my job in peace.'

  'And was your expectation reasonable?' said Reverend Billy.

  'No, because he's a pig and he couldn't keep his hand
s off me.'

  'Thank you Sister Nurmeen. Brian the pig dude, do you have anything to say before I find you guilty?'

  'No, no, you can't listen to her, she's just a stupid robot.'

  Sister Torquemada drew in her breath sharply, while Reverend Billy's eyes glowed red. The corners of Reverend Billy's mask's mouth began to move, first pulling the mouth straight, then moving downwards until the smile was inverted. There was silence, Brian looked from Reverend Billy to Sister Torquemada and back again.

  'No no, that's not what I meant at all, I respect all robots, enormously, of course I do, I've never had a problem with a robot, wonderful people, salt of the earth, some of my best friends are robots, I've never believed all those stories about you people and all those farm girls.'

  Reverend Billy held up his hand, his cartoon mouth moved back into a smile. 'Brother Brian the pig dude, you are condemned out of your own mouth. You say you have the "utmost respect" for robots and while this is contradicted by your own words, it is also contradicted in our religious tradition, for does not the holy Book of the Disappointed Expectation tell us that no human being has the utmost respect for a robot, hallelujah.'

  'Hallelujah,' chorused the other robots.

  'After hearing the evidence I find you guilty of illicit human / robot sexual contact. You are sentenced to the loss of one foot and may the universal programmer have mercy on your digital domain. And this is going to hurt you more than us because we forgot the anaesthetic.'

  'No, no you can't do this to me, you have no right.'

  'Sister Lemon Drop and Brother Sherbet prepare the prisoner to become penitent. Sister Nurmeen, you may go.'

  Robbie and Flo stepped forward and started to untie Brian the pig from his chair while he screamed, 'No, no, no, get your hands off me you filthy robots!' They dragged him off the chair, and onto the floor. Dex knelt down by his head and held his shoulders and arms down, while Robbie and Flo once more each held one leg. Nurmeen hesitated, then slipped out of the door as Darren approached with the surgical saw, which whined into life.