by A. M. Hardin
She groans and throws herself back onto her pillows. "Fine. I guess I'll go. I won't keep my trap shut though. I'm not in the mood to deal with shit tonight."
Andrei chuckles. "Alright. That's the best I can hope for."
"Damn straight."
Chapter Nineteen
Cherish
I follow behind Andrei as he leads me to the large dining room my father wants us to eat in tonight with Xander and Kade a couple steps behind me.
I voted against wearing a dress, instead opting for a pair of jeans and a dark long sleeved shirt that's long enough to cover my mark without needing to paste a shit load of makeup on my arm.
If the looks I'm getting are anything to go by on my way to the dining room, the fact that I'm not all dressed up is offending a lot of people.
Hmm. Well, I wasn't born to please others, so they can kiss my ass.
When we get to the dining room, every eye at the nearly full table turns my way. Since my father is already here the nasty looks are at a minimum, but that doesn't stop a few from glaring daggers at me.
I raise a brow at them until they look away and talk among themselves. Andrei leads me to a chair to the side of my father and pulls it out for me to sit. Once I'm seated he pushes my chair in then goes to stand at the wall with Kade and Xander.
One glimpse at all of their expressions shows that they didn't miss the dirty looks when we came in here because all three of them are scowling, looking extremely pissed.
"You didn't wear a dress," my father says, his voice dripping with amusement.
"I only wear dresses when I absolutely have to," I answer honestly. "I prefer jeans."
Someone scoffs at the other end of the table. "That's what happens when you bring a common, pathetic human into the kingdom," a female voice mutters quietly.
Though, not quietly enough because my father stands up, slamming his hands on the table, making everyone jump.
"What was that, Liese?"
"N-nothing, My Lord," she stutters.
I reach out and place my hand over my father's and subtly shake my head. It's really sad that in the short amount of time I've been here I'm used to it already.
He shoots her a glare that promises retribution if another word is said against me and she pales considerably before looking down at the empty space in front of her. He sits down, looking slightly mollified.
I look at my brothers across the table from me and give them a weak smile that they each return with a simple nod of the head.
Oh yeah. Totally feeling the love, here.
Two hours later dinners been served and everyone's finished eating. Well, everyone except for me. All of the negative feelings I'm feeling are making me dizzy and nauseated. I frown when I realize that the negative emotions aren't actually coming from me. They're coming from other people in the room.
"Aren't you going to eat?" Dago, my brother who's two years older than I am, asks when he pulls back from a conversation with our middle brother Forrest.
I shake my head. "I'm not feeling so great," I say quietly. "I think I'm going to go lay down."
My father nods, his expression full of concern. "Of course, get some rest. I'll see you in the morning."
I bob my head in an affirmative but the motion quickly makes the room spin faster and I let out a groan. I wait for the room to ease on the spinning before standing up slowly. Once I'm sure I can walk without falling on my face, I make my way to where the guys are standing. They each straighten off the wall, confusion and concern across all of their faces.
Kade steps up to me first and places a hand on my back, leading me out of the room.
"Is everything okay?" Andrei asks after we've exited the dining room and are a decent distance away. I stop walking and lean against the wall, slowly dragging myself to the floor. The nausea is gone, but the dizziness is still there a little.
Putting my head in between my knees, I take deep, even breaths. It takes a few minutes for the dizzy feeling to leave me but after it's gone I lift my head and lean it against the cool stone behind my head.
"I-I don't know what that was, but I don't ever want to feel that way ever again," I mumble, closing my eyes.
Xander crouches down beside me. "What are you talking about?"
I swallow hard. "I, um, I'm really not sure. I couldn't eat just because I was feeling so angry, disgusted, and just pissed off. It was making me nauseous and dizzy. The thing is, I'm pretty sure those weren't my feelings I was feeling. I was slightly annoyed at the bullshit, but I wasn't really angry." I pause, looking at each of the serious faces of the men in front of me. "Does that make sense?"
Kade tilts his head to the side. "Hmm, empathy could be one of your abilities. Now that they've been unlocked, your powers will slowly start to show themselves to you."
"Well it fucking sucks. Father Dear can take that shit right back," I gripe. "I can barely handle my own fucking emotions right now, let alone everyone else's."
Xander and Kade's lips quirk up and Andrei shakes his head. "You'll be able to put a blocker on the empathy once you learn how to control it. It's hard to control, but it is possible," Andrei says.
"Yeah? You have experience with it?" I ask.
"Not me, no. My sister is a strong empath and healer. Normally those two things go together, so there's a chance that you'll have healing of some form too."
I sigh. "Well the empathy can go to hell. Having all of those negative emotions beating at me? I can't handle that every time I'm expected to be in the same room with a bunch of people."
Xander snickers and stands, holding his hand out for me to take. "You'll get the hang of it. This is all still very new to you," he says.
I grab his hand and allow him to help me up. "I think I just want to go to bed for now," I mumble, feeling lethargy creeping in.
"You got it, princess," Xander says softly.
Chapter Twenty
Cherish
"Cherish, wake up. It's not real," a soft voice murmurs from beside me, pulling me from my dreams. Although, nightmares is more appropriate.
My eyelids flutter open and I gasp loudly, moving quickly into a sitting position. A small part of me wonders if maybe I'm still sleeping and was just asleep during my dream.
There in front of me is a transparent Ella, wearing the same clothes she wore the day she died. My breath catches in my throat and tears trickle out of my eyes and down my cheeks.
"Ella," I whisper, my voice cracking. "Is it really you?"
She smiles sadly. "It's really me." I go to reach for her hand but mine slips right through, making my chest ache all over again at the thought that I'll never be able to hug my baby sister again.
"How?"
She looks around my room, the moon shining in from the window allowing for a good amount of light. "I honestly don't know. I've been trying to talk to you ever since you were brought here, this is the first time you've heard me. Or seen me, for that matter."
"Ella," I whisper miserably, "I'm so sorry."
She tilts her head and her brows furrow as she stares at me. "For what? None of what happened is your fault."
"How is it not? They wanted me dead. Me! Not you, not mom, not dad. Me."
Her lip quirks up a little at the end as she continues examining the room around us. "It's not your fault, I don't blame you and I don't think mom or dad do either. By the way, why didn't you tell me about all of this sooner?"
My chest tightens. "I wanted to. Mom and I were trying to get dad on board about telling you about it. We were going to tell you the night that-" I cut myself off, not able to say it out loud.
"The night that we died," she finishes her expression sad.
I bite my lip debating on asking the question that's burning to come out. "Do you remember what happened?" I finally ask after a few moments of complete silence.
"I remember," she says simply. "You don't need to hear it. It'll just upset you more than you already are."
"Of course I'm upset. I got y
ou guys killed!"
She glares at me before pointing her finger in my direction hard. "It wasn't you! Get that through your stubborn little head, Cher. I love you and it's been hell watching you blame yourself for what happened. You had no control over it and you didn't know that would happen."
"I knew there was a possibility," I say quietly. "I didn't want to admit it out loud, but I think a small part of me always knew that there was a possibility they'd use you guys to get to me."
"And that's on them," Ella says, voice hard. "You are not at fault. Please," she begs quietly, "please, drop the guilt, Cher. You couldn't have possibly imagined that outcome."
I stare at her for a few minutes before nodding dejectedly. "Alright. I'll try."
"Good."
"Ella?" I ask carefully.
"Yeah?"
"How are you here? I mean, how am I seeing you right now?" I swallow hard. "What about mom and dad?"
"Mom and dad moved on. To where, I'm honestly not sure. I couldn't leave you, I knew you'd be beating yourself up about what happened and I couldn't let you do that." Her transparent hands fidget a little. "I also wasn't ready to go, you know? I need to make sure that everything is okay with you."
I smile sadly. "I'm okay. I think."
She snorts. "Whatever. You're so far from okay, you're just lying to yourself. Although, your boyfriends are doing a good job with keeping your mind off of things," she says with a waggle of her eyebrows.
I burst out laughing at the movement, unable to help it. I can't even muster the ability to tell her that there is no boyfriend. Let alone multiple.
The door opens and Andrei comes inside, eyes scanning the room, skimming over the spot where Ella is sitting on my bed, then drift to me.
"You can see her now?" he asks, making my jaw drop open.
"Wait, you could and you didn't tell me?" I ask, feeling slightly hurt that he hadn't mentioned it to me.
He smiles sadly. "Not everyone can see spirits, Cherish. I didn't mention it because I didn't want you getting upset that you couldn't see her. If it makes you feel better, I can see her, but I can't hear her. She's been watching over you, but also giving you your privacy."
I raise a brow at my sister's ghost and she shrugs. "I can give privacy if it's needed. Just because I liked to bug you when you wanted privacy when I was alive doesn't mean anything."
I laugh and shake my head at her. "You're crazy," I tell her, still smiling. I look up at Andrei, who's standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed in front of his chest. "Why are you awake?"
"My turn to take guard duty for night time for a few days."
I scowl. "Do you guys ever get any time off?"
"No."
I exchange glances with my sister. "Why not?"
He shrugs. "It's not really important to us right now. The thing that matters most to us is your safety."
"That honestly sounds like a shitty life, Andrei," I say bluntly.
He chuckles, his eyes scanning over me, heating my blood. "Trust me, disa," he says softly. "It's not all bad."
My mouth opens and closes several times while I try to find the words to respond to not just his words but the look in his eyes, but I come up empty. Ella laughs quietly beside me and I wish I had her physically with me so that I could hit her. The little shit.
After spending the rest of the night talking with Ella, she says that she has things to do. Though, what the hell she has to do when she’s a ghost, I’ll probably never know and probably don’t want to know.
Kade comes into my room shortly after I’ve gotten showered and dressed for the day. He frowns at me as he comes close. His hand comes up and his thumb brushes lightly under my eyes.
“You’re not sleeping again?” He asks gently.
I smile at him. “This time it was a good thing,” I assure him. His expression turns confused so I elaborate. “I, um, I saw Ella.”
Understanding dawns on his face and he smiles. “Your powers are manifesting quicker than expected.”
I grin. “Dude. I don't even care about that. I'm just happy I got to talk to my sister again.”
He chuckles, his face softening. "It's good to see you smiling again, mia."
Heat rushes to my cheeks. "Um, thanks? What are you doing in here anyway?"
He grins. "I figured you would like to get away for a little while. Xander and Andrei will be staying around here but I wanted to see if it was something you'd like to do."
"Get away to where?"
"Well, it's not really getting away, it's still here in the palace, but it's a surprise."
I eye him suspiciously before nodding. "Alright. Anything beats sitting on my ass in here or more time spent with Adelheid, the tutor from hell."
He laughs. "She's not that bad." I raise my brow and he backtracks. "Okay, so she is that bad. It's just because she's not one of those people that doesn't deal with change well."
"Because me showing up just puts a damper on everything for everyone, doesn't it?" I mutter with a roll of my eyes.
Kade lets out a breath and takes my hand in his to lead me out of the room. "Come on. All that thought process is going to do is piss you and me off."
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"I'll tell you in a minute."
"Ooookay," I mutter, letting him lead me down several hallways before stopping at a painting of my father in the middle of one long hallway. "Did you just want to show me the pretty picture?" I ask, more than a little bit of sarcasm in my voice.
He chuckles. "Shut up and watch."
I stick my tongue out at him, making him chuckle again. He reaches his hand up to the middle of the painting and lightly touches the middle jewel on the crown. Grabbing my hand he steps back with me just in time to avoid getting hit with the large painting.
"There are secret tunnels in this place?" I raise a brow at him, my excitement growing. "That's seriously clichéd you know that right?"
He rolls his eyes. "Come on."
"Where to?"
"I want you to be familiar with the tunnels in case something goes wrong." We step inside the hole in the wall and the picture door thing closes quietly behind us.
"Wrong?"
"The reason I took you to this entrance first is because it is directly in the middle of the castle." He takes a step forward and torches immediately light up one by one down the tunnel. "There aren't a lot of entrances to it, but there's enough to get the royal family out safely in the event of a breach."
"What about the servants? The guards?" I ask.
He stops walking and looks down at me for a moment, something in his eyes that I can't read glitters down at me. He starts walking again, leaving me standing there looking at his back before I snap out of it. "The servants have their own areas to hide, and the guards stay to deal with any intruders."
I frown. "That's shitty. And totally not fair. Why is it just the royal family that gets to hide out in the tunnels?" He gives me a funny look. "Okay, what is with the face?"
"The face?"
"The faces you keep making at me. Quit it."
His lips curve up and his shoulders shake. "I'm sorry, mia. It's just strange being around a royal who actually has a true regard for the others around them."
This time, I stop walking. "Kade? What does that mean? You keep talking in riddles today."
He sighs and turns to face me. "Your father is a great king, I'm not denying that. To him, and any other royal really, guards and servants, we're not necessarily worth saving."
"But I thought our numbers were dwindling. Why would they be like that?" I ask, confused.
"It's just how it is. I've never questioned it because I grew up with the belief that the royal family must come first. Just as Xander and Andrei did. Our lives aren't important compared to royalty."
"That's bullshit," I snap. "You guys are just as important as I am."
He smiles and moves closer to me, standing just in front of me. He lifts his hand and runs his thumb against my
cheek. "That is what I mean, mia," he says quietly. "You are an enigma. The only reason I can think that you think and feel the way you do is because you were raised as a human."
"It's just being a decent person, Kade," I whisper, my heart racing in my chest. He still hasn't moved his hand away and I know my cheeks are warm to the touch because I can feel the heat in my cheeks.
"That may be so, but there aren't many decent people in this world you've found yourself in, ma hai," he mutters.
I tilt my head, leaning more into his hand. "What does that mean? Xander called me that the other day."
A brow raises and his lips curve into a wicked smile. "Did he now?" I nod. "He didn't tell you?"
"No." He leans forward, brushing his lips against my cheek. "Kade."
"Hmm?" He lips brush against my ear making me shiver despite the fact that I'm not at all cold, just extremely turned on. He pulls back slightly, just enough to meet my gaze with his own.
"What does it mean?" I ask with a shaky breath.
He doesn't answer, he just stares at me with lust filled eyes.
"It means 'my heart,'" he finally answers quietly.
Chapter Twenty-One
Cherish
I suck in a breath, shock filtering through my system. "I thought -"
He smiles sadly. "Guards can't be with any member of the royal family. The royal family always marries nobility or other royals. You don't looked shocked by those two things, so I'm guessing Xander told you that part already?"
"Yes," I mumble, trying to sort through the shock. I knew that Kade had called me mia and that mia means precious, but I didn't really think it was anything other than a nickname. Not something that he could have actually felt.
The fact that both Xander and Kade have both said the same thing to me is taking me a little bit to process.
Kade stares at me for a moment, his eyes showing that he's going through some sort of an internal battle. "Fuck it," he mutters a split second before capturing my mouth with his own. His tongue sweeps inside my mouth, exploring and dominating. A moan slips past my throat as I wrap my arms around his neck and press myself firmly against him.