by Aubrey Cara
“Del, she could have made him up. This might not mean anything.” Jake was rubbing her back as they sat side by side on the couch.
She knew she had gotten withdrawn and quiet. She also appreciated his concern and comfort. He had been touching her in some small gentle manner or the other since they had sat down. She hadn’t noticed it at first, so consumed by shock, but once she did some of her tension began to ease. She turned and wrapped her arms around him, his solid form giving her more comfort than anything ever had. He leaned back into the corner of the couch, and she curled up next to him with her head on his chest, his arms wrapped around her.
“When it comes to my mama, I didn’t think her antics could surprise me anymore. I had assumed not to have a dad for so long that to even hope. . .he could be a horrible man, Jake. He could be why my mama drank with a single minded determination. He could be a bigamist. He could be a wife beater. Hell, he could be dead.”
He covered her mouth with his hand and lightly kissed her forehead. He pulled her close and tucking her head against his chest. “You need to quit being so stink’n optimistic, Miss Mary Sunshine.”
She chuckled. “I just can’t help but think the worst. The term ‘shit happens’? That is my life. Shit does happen. It happens to me.”
“What about me? I’m pretty damn fabulous, and I’m in your life.”
“It’s too soon to tell.”
His chuckle rumbled through his chest, warming her all the way to her toes. He continued to rub soothing circles on her back as she lay curled on her side, her head tucked under his chin. She could hear the steady rhythm of his heart and matched her breathing to it. It was dark outside and she was now having trouble keeping her eyes open. She heard his breathing getting steady and deep and gave up the struggle of fighting off sleep. As she snuggled closer into the warm body next to her, her last thought before sleep claimed her was she loved being Jake Forrester’s girlfriend.
*** ***
Jake was in deep. He stretched out on the couch, Del curled up next to him, absently rubbing circles on her back. He felt like even more of a jerk than ever. She looked so broken when she had talked about growing up in foster care and her awful mom. He wanted to hunt down every one of those narrow minded holy rollers and shoot them for making a child think she was somehow bad or evil because her mama was a dumb drunk.
She should have been taken in and loved. He was sure she had been a beautiful, sweet child, and it killed him to know she hadn’t been cherished the way he knew she deserved. He had wanted a glimpse of who she was. Unfortunately, he hadn't considered how dredging up the past could break her apart. He had brought up painful memories when he should have kept their first real evening together carefree and light.
Each inhalation swirled her scent around him like an aphrodisiac. Now he felt like even more of a bastard because the longer he lie there with her, the more he wanted to strip her clothes off and sink himself inside her sweet warmth.
Choosing to torture himself, he stayed there, falling into a fitful sleep only to wake in the wee hours of the morning stiff as pole. He eased out from under her before covering her with the throw blanket off the back of the couch. Watching her sleep, looking so peaceful and small, reminded him of seeing her unconscious in a hospital bed with ugly bruises on the side of her face and forehead. He would do well to remember only a few short months ago her husband had walked out on her, breaking apart her world.
She had been raw and wounded, and not just from the accident. He had to remember how far she had come, and recall she was still getting her new existence figured out. That was going to be the hard part, pulling back. As much as he wanted to jump into a hot and heavy love affair with Del, he knew she wasn’t ready.
CHAPTER TEN
Being Jake Forrester’s girlfriend sucked. Delia plopped her chin on her fist as she sat on the edge of Kat's blow up mattress in the studio apartment, brooding. Ever since their first date, Jake had pulled back somehow. She had dinner over at his house almost every night, and they would usually play cards or board games, laughing and joking. She was still getting used to the easy affection and light teasing of the guys. That was the magnificent part of being with Jake.
She felt she belonged in their little family like she had never belonged anywhere in her life. They had even ventured out, taking Steven and his friends to the movies one night. She had scolded Jake and the boys for throwing popcorn at the screen, like she had done it a million times before instead of just this one time. She had blushed, apologizing, but Steven had grabbed her around her neck from the side, giving her a big smacking kiss on her cheek, and grinning up at her. She had been warmed inside out by the sweet gesture that seemed so natural.
Each night with Jake and Steven seemed perfect, but then at the end of every night Jake would drive her home and give her a chaste kiss. He would quickly leave afterward, practically shoving her toward her door. She ached to hold Jake, constantly brushing up against him in light touches trying to spark his awareness of her. He still held her hand or guided her with his hand in the small of her back, but somehow these movements seemed more mechanical.
She tried to tell herself she was being silly, just imagining things, but not since the first night, when they had fallen asleep together, had he pushed for any alone time. She had experienced this all before when she was married. She knew the signs and the symptoms.
Jake had kept her at arm's length for over two weeks now and she knew why. He was too nice to break it off with her. Ever since he’d found out about her her past he’d been treating her with kid gloves. He had asked a few times if she planned to find her father, or confront her mother, but she had thought it a bad idea with her track record.
He’d let it go but she could tell he wanted to say something. That was how it had been all week. More than once he seemed like he was about to say something, then checked himself, turning to a much more lighthearted conversation. Each time she had wanted to scream in frustration. She knew she was closing a part of herself off from him with her unwillingness to talk of the past, but how could she trust him when he kept pushing her away? She couldn’t live on the outside of a relationship desperately clinging to the edge. Not again, not with Jake.
It was going to break her heart, but she was going to have to do it. She was telling him tonight she couldn’t see him anymore. Afterward she would leave town for a while. They were all supposed to go hiking today, so she was going to tell him when they got back. She wanted one last day just hanging out, joking around, and laughing with Jake and Steven. Her eyes were misty by the time she made it out her door heading to Jake's place. She had already fallen in love with Jake and Steven and it was going to be the hardest thing she ever did to give them up.
*** ***
Taking things slow with Del was becoming physically painful, but he didn’t want her to get hurt by them jumping into things too quickly. She had too many hardships in her life and he could never be a cause of her pain. If he were honest with himself, he would acknowledge the fact he had fallen in love with her, and it had happened too fast. He wasn’t ready to feel this much or hurt so deep just thinking of her leaving. The way she made him feel was confusing and irrational in its intensity, and feeling this out of control was leaving him on edge.
Since the night they had fallen asleep on the couch together he'd spent everyday thinking about her, counting the minutes until he would see her again. When he finally saw her, he had to exercise so much restraint, he couldn’t wait to be away from her. The whole process was exhausting, and she had no idea the effect she was having on him.
All the times she innocently brushed up against him or lightly touched his arm, his hand, his leg. Brushing a stray lock of hair off his forehead with her silky fingertips had him crawling out of his skin. Each touch sent an electric shock sizzling through his body that never seemed to fizzle out. Every time she shut down instead of talking to him about things, things he knew were twisting her up inside, made him want to turn he
r over his knee. Which made him think about her bare bottom all pink, and warm, as it had been when he sunk himself inside her tight heat only a few weeks ago. He thought he should get a medal of honor for his restraint.
Now they were supposed to go hiking. It had been a brilliant idea when Steven was going with, but he had bowed out to go camping with his friend's family. Now they were going to have at least forty-five minutes in the truck alone together. Then all day out in the foothills of the mountains. He was hopeful hiking would exert enough physical energy to keep him from jumping her. Otherwise he may end up giving in and taking her right there in the woods. Getting mosquito bites on his ass didn’t sound like an appealing prospect. He desperately needed to remember all the reasons he had to take it slow with her.
He heard a knock before Del let herself in, making him smile. She had come over enough in the past couple weeks that she had finally gotten comfortable letting herself in. Just the sight of her was like a physical blow, and he knew this was going to be a long day. Once her cinnamon vanilla scent reached his nose he itched to grab her and bury his face in her neck, her hair…he groaned.
“Hey, where’s Steven?”
“He got invited to go camping with Evan’s family. He was the chubby, strawberry blond kid that went to the movies the other day.” He knew he sounded surly but he didn’t care.
She sniffled. “Yeah I remember.” She sniffled again.
He took a good look at Del. Her skin was pale and her eyes were red and puffy.“Have you been crying?”
“No, yes.” She sighed, looking everywhere but him. “Jake, I’m glad Steven isn’t here. There’s something I needed to tell you. I was going to wait 'til the end of the day but I can’t. What I’m trying to say is, I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”
“What?”
“Come on, I know you don’t want me. I can’t go through another relationship in denial, and you’ve been treating more like your sister.”
“I don’t have a fucking sister.”
She ignored this, continuing to blather on. “I also know you could never be the one to break it off, and you don’t have to. I don’t want you to feel obligated to be with me. I won’t be an obligation ever again. I think it would be better if I just leave town for a while.”
“Like damn hell!” The dam inside him broke, freeing two weeks of pent up frustration. She was about to be shown exactly what he thought of her.
*** ***
Delia was dying inside as tears snaked down her cheeks. Her head snapped up when Jake yelled “Like damn hell!” with so much fury Del should have been scared half to death. She would have been too, if she hadn't been slammed against the wall with his solid body pressed against her. His mouth claimed her own with all the anguish she had just seen cross his face. All the passion she had been longing for was in this kiss. All her anxiety the past few days turned to ash as he worked his mouth over hers in a possession that was surely laying claim to her soul.
A fresh wave of tears stung her eyes. These tears were those of hope, confusion and yearning. Her senses spun from the feel of his body pressed full up against hers. His erection pushed hard against her stomach. Just as quickly as he had slammed into her he pulled back. She felt off kilter and dazed as he grabbed her hand and shaped it down over his erection.
“Does this feel like a damn obligation to you Del?”
All the breath left her body, her hand scorched by his heat. The intensity of his gaze sent zings of desire to her core. He wanted her. She wanted his love, craved his passion, and was even willing to take his fury. Pain, anger, and desire flashed over his face. His eyes turned dark and heated. She marveled at the display knowing it was for her, because of her. By saying she was leaving she had struck a match threatening to consume them both in flame.
She tore her hand away from his jean-covered erection only to grab the hem of her shirt and whip it off over her head, throwing it to the floor like she was tossing a gauntlet. The one act a challenge and a promise in this new battle.
They stood there in the entry breathing hard, staring each other down for only a few heartbeats before he reached for her at the same time she flung herself at him, wrapping her legs around his waist. Their mouths locked together as they tore at each other's clothes, needing to feel skin to skin. He stumbled back on impact, sitting down hard on the stairs with her astride over his lap.
She ground down on his hard length, making him moan as he tore off his shirt, breaking the kiss only long enough to completely remove his t-shirt. Picking her up, they made it to the top landing kissing and stumbling as her hands explored his hard naked torso.
He tripped on the top landing, bending her all the way back. She thought he would lay her down right there, but he kick open his bedroom door to fall with her onto his bed. Rearing up he stripped her of her pants. He had them flung across the room, along with her panties, in seconds. He didn't even take note she wore tiny pink bowed panties, her legs shaved. She had wanted this, selfishly wished for this.
She undid her bra, pulling it from her body to reveal her peaked nipples. He growled as he started undoing his pants. He stood in between her splayed legs hanging over the side of the bed, his gaze never leaving hers. Sitting up, she ran a hand down his chest kissing his stomach. Breathing in his crisp scent, she tried to slow things down and savor what was happening. Her hair spread over his belly and trickled down a single trail over his muscled torso.
An almost naked Jake was amazing to behold, but she wanted all of him. Moving his hands away, she carefully eased his pants down over his hips when he would have just as soon whipped them off. She did the same for his boxers. When his erection sprang free to bob in front of her face, she didn’t even think. She leaned in, boldly licking the length from base to tip. She took the silky hardness in hand before covering as much of the shaft as she could with her mouth. Sucking hard enough to hollow her cheeks, she worked up and down his hard length. She had only done this a few times before for Connar and hated it. Now she marveled at Jake's taste and texture against her tongue, reveling in the power of this man she loved.
He groaned. “No more,” he said, pulling himself quickly out of her mouth. He picked her up by the waist tossing her into the middle of the bed. “On your knees.”
She fought a tremor. She knew what was coming and she knew she deserved the punishment more than the pleasure. Taking one last look at his intense stare, she wasn't sure which one she was about to get.
Settling into position she jumped a little when his ran his hand down her bottom, filling her body with aching awareness. He chuckled, “I'm going to spank you now, star shine.”
“I know.” Her voice was small and shook more from longing than fear.
“Do you know why?”
“I, uuh— ” She had some thoughts as to why, but damned if she could think when his hand caressed down her thigh and back up to gently explore her heat.
“I'm going to spank you for pulling away from me, when you should have told me what was going on in that mind of yours, Del. I'm going to spank you because I know you like it. And dammit Del, I going to spank you 'cause I've been dreaming of it since the first time I had you spread out across my lap.”
The last part came out as a growl. His palm landed sharply on her bottom, hard enough to rock her forward. He pulled back and peppered her again and again.
She cried out. Bracing herself, she clung to the sheets. The spanking was definitely more punishing than the first one, but that didn't stop the heat of each strike from going straight to her core. Back and forth, left, then right. He struck each cheek in equal measure, with stinging force. If he held back she couldn't tell. Her bottom was a throbbing mass. She could feel the tears track down the side of her face, yet she held her bottom up in the air for each strike he delivered, silently begging for more. She felt once again overwhelmed and confused by the lust his spanking invoked. She wanted to be punished, she would have begged to be punished. She could feel the heat radia
ting from her bottom, and knew it must be glowing red. Abruptly she was flipped onto her back.
Wild eyed, he spread her legs wide before covering her with his hard body. Her mind spinning, she was only dimly aware of his hand between her legs testing her readiness. His mouth covered hers. Her hips unconsciously thrust into his touch eager for more, but he just teased her plump wet folds. Spreading her moisture up and down along her slit before spreading her folds, feeling her heat from within, his thumb pressed and circled that special little nubbin.
“Please, please I need you,” she begged. Her voice caught as his stubble scraped along her skin. He ran open mouth kisses down her neck. Her head fell back to allow more access.
Lifting onto his elbows he leveled his face to hers, pinning her splayed body under him. He demanded her full attention.“No turning back, no running, not from me, not ever again. Not ever again.” Pushing her wider, he surged into her with one long hard thrust, tilting her hips up for deeper penetration. Her eyes rolled back at the feeling of him stretching her small opening. She wrapped her legs around his waist. Her back arching on a whimper at the slight burning of penetration as his length settled fully imbedded.
She panted as her body accustomed itself to his presence inside her. She had been made for him. He felt like a fraction of her, pivotal to her existence. She had never felt this wild, living need. She thrust her hips up, needy little whimpers falling from her lips, desperate for him to move. She clawed her nails down his back, grinding on him, willing him in silent pleas to work into her the way her body was craving.
When he finally moved it was slowly at first. Dragging her head back, he feasted on her mouth and neck whispering “mine, mine, mine,” with every pump into her. Imprinting himself on her soul. Delia knew in that one moment, whatever may come their way, she was and always would be tied to Jake Forrester.