He shrugged. “I grew up.”
“Really? That was only four years ago.” I eyed him. He wore a white v-neck, much like one I wore to bed the night before. Only it fit his lean torso perfectly. Dark jeans covered his legs and a pair of aviator sunglasses were perched on his nose. His blond hair was spiky again. Fuck, he looks good. His clean cut appearance made more sense now that I knew his profession.
“Yeah. I started law school before you ran away.”
“After that summer.” I don’t know why I brought it up. It was silly, ridiculous. I don’t know why a part of me still held on to that hurt, but I did.
He glanced over at me, his green eyes blank of emotion. “Yes. Now I’m a partner for one of the biggest law firms in Dallas.”
Part of me wanted to punch him in his stupid handsome face for his ability to be so blasé about the past, but I snorted unattractively instead.
“What’s funny about that?”
I shook my head. “Nothing. It just sounds boring as hell. Since when do you like that kind of stuff?” I didn’t succeed in keeping the venom out of my voice.
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “Since I’m good at it, Faye. It’s not like you have room to comment on people’s job choices,” he said snidely.
“Do you think you’re going to make me mad by bringing that up every five minutes?” I asked, staring at the side of his face intently. “Because I know what I am. I know I fuck for money. It isn’t some type of surprise. So you don’t need to remind me.” I sounded confident, like I didn’t give a shit. But I did. For some reason it hurt like hell when he brought it up.
“So you’re just okay with that? Fucking strangers for money? Don’t you know how dangerous that is?”
Laughter bubbled out of my lips. “Don’t be so naïve, Rhett.”
“Naïve? I’m being naïve?” A look of wonder spread across his face. “You have no idea what could happen to you. You’re lucky you’re even alive!”
Anger pumped through my veins. “Excuse me? I have no idea?” I bit down on the inside of my cheek to keep from screaming. “You have no idea, buddy.”
“Clearly it’s something you just picked up because someone like you wouldn’t last long in that kind of lifestyle.” He put one hand in his lap and fisted it.
“For your information this is what I’ve been doing for the last three years since I left. How do you think I got anywhere, Rhett? I had to fuck my way to a decent life.”
“A decent life? You call being a lot lizard and living in a pasture a decent life?” Rhett’s cheeks were red, his eyes sparking with anger when he glanced at me.
I looked away from him and down at my hands. They were shaking with rage. I needed another bump. This conversation was too much.
I took a deep breath. You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re okay.
“How did you know I lived out in that field?” I paused. “Fuck. Shauna will be worried about me.”
“I saw you earlier in the day, walking out of there. So I just assumed…Who is Shauna?” he said slowly as if he too was trying to curb his anger.
“We live together out there. She’ll wonder what happened to me.” I rubbed a shaky hand over my lips. Shauna was like a big sister to me. We looked out for each other, cared about each other.
“Is she your girlfriend…like romantically?” Rhett glanced at me with something more than curiosity in his eyes.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” I muttered.
“So she is?” Something about the way he said it made me pause. It was like he hated the idea.
“Oh, come on, Rhett. Just because I fuck for money doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian or something.”
He pulled the SUV into a parking space. I glanced out the window. “Where are we?” We weren’t at a mall or even a Wal Mart, but rather a plain-looking office building. I squinted to read the decal on the sliding glass doors. Sally Paul OBGYN & Associates.
“What the fuck is this, Rhett?” I whirled around to face him. He stared at me intently, unsurprised by my outburst.
“You have an appointment this morning.”
“I. Do. Not.”
His gaze searched my face. “Yes, you do. I made you an appointment.”
“Why would you do that?” Tears pressed at the back of my eyes.
“This is what your mom would have wanted,” he said solemnly.
I shook my head. “I’m not going in there.”
“Yeah, you are.” He said the words as if he had never been more sure of anything in his life.
“Fuck you, Rhett. I won’t. You can’t fucking make me,” I snarled.
“The only way to make your life better is to start here.” He gestured toward the building. “Don’t you want that?”
I blinked my eyes rapidly. “Make my life better? I like my life the way it is!”
“You don’t really mean that.” He looked almost sad. “Faye, you can’t mean that. You can’t think that selling yourself is the way you want to spend the rest of your life. The girl I knew wouldn’t want this life.” The mask of hate was gone and in its place something else, something torn up, hurt. The sight of it killed something inside me, making me angrier.
“What difference does it make to you? You don’t even know me, not anymore!” I shouted. “I came with you to put my mother to rest. Not to change my life. I didn’t sign up for this shit.” I couldn’t go to the doctor. I just couldn’t. The last time I went to a woman’s doctor flashed into my head and I immediately pushed the thought away.
“Your mom would have wanted to help you, for you to help yourself,” he said the words like he was talking to a child. Like I was just some pathetic baby.
“My mom didn’t give a shit about me.” I wiped the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand.
“How could you really think that, Faye? She looked for you for a long time.” He looked sad, like I was breaking his heart.
“This is stupid.” I clutched my trembling hands in my lap. “We were just supposed to go shopping.”
“You’re not going to tell a soul, Faye, you got it? Sometimes you have to do things you don’t like. It’s part of being a woman.”
I pushed the voice away, her voice.
“You’re scared?”
I glanced back at Rhett. There wasn’t any hate in his gaze. Nothing but concern and curiosity, like he was trying to figure me out.
I chewed the inside of my lip and nodded. Why did you just admit that? Don’t be weak!
One of Rhett’s big hands covered my trembling ones. The touch shocked me, more because I had seen the disgust in his face the night before. The way he covered himself in hand sanitizer just from touching me.
“I’ll go in with you. I won’t leave you alone. Okay?”
I glanced up into his eyes. He was closer now. Less than a foot away. So close I could see the little ring of honey brown on the inside of his irises. This was the Rhett I remembered. The kind guy who was passionate about fish and weird cartoons, the guy who cared.
I took a deep breath. Just tell him no. Hell no. “Okay.” I heard myself say. What the fuck? “But this doesn’t change anything,” I added, getting a grip on myself. “I’m going back after the funeral.”
My words seemed to irritate him, but he didn’t comment, just nodded and removed his hand. Mine still trembled in my lap, against the too-large yoga pants. The loss of his touch left me feeling bereft and lonely.
“Ready?”
I chewed my lip and reached for the door handle. “Fuck. Let’s just get it over with.”
“Okay, Ms. Turner, you can sit up now.” Dr. Paul clicked off the light that pointed between my legs.
I let out a deep breath and relaxed the hand that had Rhett’s in a death lock. He sat up near my head, out of the way of a crotch shot, not that it mattered. Hundreds of men had seen my pussy, even if they hadn’t seen it, they had felt it with their cocks. Fuck, I’d even offered Rhett the chance to be one of those lucky men last night, but for some reason
once we were there in the doctor’s office, I didn’t want him to see me like that—all splayed out with a probe in my cunt.
It didn’t make the least bit of sense. Maybe it was because the doctor’s office made it more real, made the fact that I had fucked tons of faceless men, plenty without a condom, seem more wrong than it ever had. Fuck. What’s going on with me?
I rubbed my nose and sat up slowly, pushing the ugly blue gown down over my hips. I brushed away the wetness around my eyes with the shoulder of my gown, hoping neither of them noticed.
“I don’t see any obvious signs of an STD, but I took swabs for testing so we will know in the next couple weeks. Have you had any irritation that you can think of?”
I shook my head. “No.”
Dr. Paul nodded, her blond head bobbing up and down. “I would like to speak with you, Faye. In private.” She glanced at Rhett.
I was about to accept her offer. I didn’t feel nervous anymore, not with her. Plus the tests were over.
“I promised her I would stay with her, Dr. Paul. She’s not much for doctors,” he said gently.
Sally looked to me for conformation and I nodded, feeling too overwhelmed to contest it.
“Okay,” she said. “I did notice there was some slight vaginal tearing, new tears as well as some scars.” She glanced between Rhett and I and our intertwined fingers. “Rough sex play is okay, but I suggest taking it easy. You don’t want to injure yourself permanently.”
My whole face seemed to catch on fire. Rhett let go of my hand simultaneously. I just assumed that Rhett had told her when he made the appointment that I was his prostitute step-sister.
“We aren’t a couple.” His words were so cold I could feel the ice sink into my skin.
She eyed the two of us, curiosity in her gaze. “Okay, well either way. Whoever you have sex with is your business, but you need to make sure you take it easy.” She smiled lightly. “Also—”
“What about birth control? I think it would be good if she was set up with some,” Rhett interrupted.
I cringed. I should have made him go wait outside after all.
Dr. Paul glanced between us again. “That’s what I was going to talk about next. Though not about birth control specifically.” She looked down at the chart in her hands.
“What is it?” I could feel Rhett’s penetrating gaze on me. I could feel the hate—it was back. Gone for a short time only to return in full force.
“Are you on any hormone supplements, Faye, prescribed by a different doctor?”
I shook my head. “Not anymore. I used to be, but it’s been several years since I’ve taken anything.”
“Considering the circumstances you’re very lucky that you haven’t gone into early menopause. I’m going to write you a prescription. It’s very important you stay on them, especially with how young you are.”
“Okay.” I glanced over at Rhett. A frown seemed to be etched into his face.
“What does this have to do with birth control?”
Dr. Paul glanced between us, a neutral look on her face. “I think I’ll give you two a minute.” She grabbed the sample cups. “You’re free to get dressed, Faye.” The door closed behind her quickly.
“Why did she act weird about the birth control?” Rhett asked the second she was gone. “And what is this stuff about hormones?”
I wanted to laugh at how ridiculous he sounded asking all these questions, but I couldn’t. Reality was suffocating.
I turned slowly to look at him. He sat with his hands clenched in his lap, his left thumb rubbing the right, repeatedly, in quick motions. “I don’t need birth control.”
Rhett frowned and cocked his head. “You’re a nineteen year old woman who actively has sex. You need birth control,” he said forcefully.
“I don’t.” I climbed off the table and snatched the underwear and yoga pants off the floor.
“Yeah. You do.” He watched me intently while I put them on. He couldn’t see anything—the hospital gown hid it all, and I hadn’t taken my top off. But his eyes were just the same. They made me feel like I was wearing nothing. Like I was exposed for the world to see. My fingers shook, fumbled over the stretchy material. I felt raw, exposed. More exposed than I ever had in my life, which was saying something.
“No I don’t!” I huffed, jerking my arms out of the gown. “I don’t need fucking birth control because I can’t have kids!” My chest heaved like I’d been running.
Rhett stood, but didn’t move toward me. “What do you mean? How could you even know that? You’re so young.”
“Yeah, well,” I snatched my purse off the floor and looped it around my neck. “I had my uterus removed when I was fifteen.” I didn’t look at him when I spoke, but instead fiddled with the clasp on my purse. “That’s why I need the hormones.”
“What? Why? You were at home then, I was home the summer when you were fifteen.”
I smirked. “I’d just had my birthday when you were home. I was fifteen for nearly a whole year after you left.” A cold grip fisted my heart. He didn’t know about the things that happened after he left. About how angry his father was. How twisted the abuse became.
“But, I don’t get it.” He rubbed his face. “You were fine when I was there.”
I sighed. “It doesn’t matter, Rhett.”
“It does matter. What happened?” He stepped closer to me.
Fuck I need a bump right now.
“Nothing. Some things just aren’t meant to be.” I gave him a weak smile. “Now if you’ll excuse me,” I stepped around him. “I need to pee.”
SIX
“You’re home!” A high pitch voice squealed the second I stepped through the threshold of Rhett’s apartment. Sarah’s red head came bobbing toward us and I had to physically stop myself from vomiting. She threw herself into Rhett’s arms like he had been gone years instead of just a day. Not even a whole day. Stupid cunt.
“Hey baby.” Rhett wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead.
“What took y’all so long?” She didn’t look at me at all when she spoke, which was awkward, considering I was trapped in the hallway between the door and them, helpless to do anything but stand there and stare.
“Just took longer than I thought.” He dropped his arm to wrap around her waist and moved them toward the kitchen and living room area.
I glanced at the digital clock on the stove when it came into view. It was seven-thirty in the evening. I’d spent the whole day with Rhett and it had only gotten worse. We’d left Dr. Paul’s office and I had expected him to grill me on the whole ‘unable to have kids thing’ but he didn’t. He was, however, back into his brooding pit of hate for me. He was completely disconnected, which was almost worse than his prying curiosity, then again I was thankful he didn’t ask any more questions.
He took me shopping and bought me something to wear for the funeral. Our time at the store was uneventful, full of hate-filled stares and unpleasant comments. Our late lunch was the same story. He’d had to stop by his office on the way home, and I’d waited for him in the car, from which he’d taken the keys.
I almost felt insulted that he thought I would steal his stupid-foreign made car. But then I didn’t. Why care about what he thinks at all? He will be gone from my life soon.
I almost didn’t even feel like seducing him anymore. That was how much of a toll the day had taken on me. I padded toward my bedroom door.
“You want to come out and have dinner with us?” I had barely turned the knob when he asked.
I glanced over my shoulder to see Sarah giving him a dirty look. Oooh someone doesn’t want me to go. That alone made me want to go more than anything. Pissing her off would make my whole day. But I was tired. More tired than I had been in a long time, which was saying something big, considering I rode cock all day, every day.
My first dick-free day and I’m exhausted. The fuck?
“Nah. I’m good.” I shook my head and pushed the door open.
�
�You’ve gotta eat, Faye. You barely ate any of your lunch.”
“I’m good.” I held up the to-go box clutched in my hand. “I’ll eat this if I get hungry.” I went in and closed the door behind me. Leaning against it, I let out a pent up breath.
Just get through the next few days. Life will go back to normal, Faye. Things will be fine.
The fact that I had to tell myself this at all really needled at me. I wasn’t someone who lost her cool. I went with the flow. I let things happen and I dealt with them as they came. I didn’t let anything rattle me. Not sex. Not men. Not anyone. So why was Rhett different? Why had he always been different for me?
I jerked my purse over my head and threw it and the left over box on the floor in frustration. What a bunch of shit!
I sat down on the edge of the bed just as someone knocked on the door. I didn’t have the chance to give my blessing before it opened, revealing Rhett.
“Well, come on in then,” I said sarcastically.
“We’re going out to eat.”
I snorted. “I already told you I’m not—”
“I know you’re not going,” he interrupted and took a step inside. “Sarah and I are going.” His face was the flat hateful mask he’d been wearing all day. “I’m not going to make you come. Not having to spend any more time with you today is a blessing.” He said the words with certainty, as if he believed them. But I could tell he didn’t. Maybe it was how I knew men, how transparent they were, but I could tell that he didn’t hate the time he spent with me today, even though he wanted me to think so. Or maybe I was just telling myself that so I wouldn’t feel so shitty about all of it. “I don’t trust you.” He took another step to where he was towering over me. I could smell his musky cologne. My mouth watered. “But I’m going to leave you here anyway.” He paused. “But if I come back and a single thing is out of place, or if you’re gone,” he crouched down on one knee, his green gaze boring into mine. “I will find you. I found you last time and I can do it again. Only this time I won’t be so nice.”
I wanted to laugh, but I didn’t. He was being serious. He thought I would steal from him, and run off. Well, I am a prostitute. That would be a step up in my world.
The Filthy Series: The Complete Dark Erotic Serial Novel Page 3