Nyssa (Goddess of War Series Book 1)

by Kate Keir

  Three further days and nights passed, and I spent every night expecting to be called for. But I was not, and I was grateful each evening as I lay down in my bed alone with my thoughts. Bernhardt called upon me a few times, and we walked around the gardens where my eyes desperately took in each gateway and each door we came upon. All were locked and chained. I hadn’t really expected anything less. This was a castle after all. Gidren spent most mealtimes with me now, and we laughed and talked about many things. I told her of my mother and brother in Lyte Harbour. I even told her how I disguised myself as Haydyn and everything that had happened to bring me here. When I told her about General Roeseer’s part in trying to help me, she nodded her head, smiling as though she wouldn’t expect anything less from him.

  She really did think he was a good man, I mused to myself on the afternoon of the fourth day since I was called to Lord Odyn. She had just been almost hero-worshipping General Roeseer as she talked of the battles he had fought in.

  Our conversation broke off as a knock came at my red door, and Bernhardt let himself in. “Excuse the interruption, ladies, but Gidren, you are needed in the kitchens.” She jumped up respectfully, and giving me a quick hug and a smile to the old man, she left the room.

  “She’s a sweet girl, that one.” Bernhardt smiled after her. “I have it on good authority that Kip, the kitchen lad, will be making her a proposal soon. I think they will be very happy together.”

  I smiled as he told me of Gidrens good news. I knew she liked Kip, and the one thing she felt was missing in her life was marriage, someone to share her future with, and I was happy that it was finally going to happen for her. I sighed to myself, thinking of my own situation. I had never been concerned with marriage before. I hadn’t given myself time to think of it. But now I had started to realise that my future held no more than a man who would before long deflower, hurt and then discard me once he grew tired of my body. I sighed deeply.

  “Shall we walk in the gardens, sweet girl?” Bernhardt seemed to notice my unhappiness, and he smiled at me as he spoke.

  I brightened. “Yes, lets. I could do with some air,” I replied.

  We had just left the building and started to walk across the main courtyard toward the rose garden when we heard a horse approaching. Bernhardt and I turned to look as General Roeseer rode through the open archway. Coming to a stop and quickly dismounting, his eyes met mine for a split second. I took in the dark look on his face, and before I could even raise a smile, he had turned and was gone. For a fleeting second, I felt a little hurt that he had ignored me, but then next to me, Bernhardt murmured darkly. “This cannot be good news for us. Astarin is not easily shaken and that boy was worried about something.”

  Taking in Bernhardt’s words, I wondered if we should turn and head back to my room, but he quickly brightened again and said, “Come sweet girl, let’s see how our roses fare.” It was only as we started to walk again that I realised Bernhardt had called the General, boy. Looking at the old man trundling along next to me and admiring the roses, I wondered just how long those two had known each other for.

  Astarin

  He was exhausted by the time he rode through the castle gates, finally feeling the relief of dismounting from his horse. He had left his men far behind him in his headlong gallop for home. He saw her then, walking across the courtyard with Bernhardt, both of them stopping to turn and look toward the sound of his arrival. He was glad the old man had been taking good care of her. He also noticed the cut of her new clothing, the way her dress hugged her curves and exposed so much of her pale, soft skin. Gods, she was beautiful, and he wanted her as much now as he did when he left. He had hoped that a few days away would temper his feelings and bring him back to himself. His pent-up frustration had finally got the better of him by the time they were on the return journey from the borders, when they were forced to stop at a tavern due to one lame horse and three men so tired they would likely kill themselves if they continued on without any sleep.

  After he had taken some food and wine, he left his men to sleep while he sought out a cathouse. Fortunately, when he walked in he saw that it was, one of the better ones. The madam welcomed him warmly, taking in his armour and his crest. “General Roeseer,” she cooed, clapping her hands. As she did so her girls all turned to face him, many with predatory looks on their faces. They were no doubt thinking the General of Lord Odyn’s armed forces would surely be a lay they could brag about for years, and perhaps he might leave a generous tip on the bedside table.

  He looked over their faces, immediately discounting any girls who looked afraid or too young. Then he saw her and, she pouted at him. She looked defiant not meek, and her slim but curvy frame teased him. He felt himself harden at the sight of her. As his eyes looked over her pale skin and her hair, tied up in a long pony-tail that fell down her back, he made his decision with a nod.

  “A good choice,” cooed the madam. “Myah, to the General, please?” she addressed the girl. Smiling seductively, the girl came to him and took his hand, leading him down the hallway to the rooms at the back of the building. As she turned to look back at him, she flicked her auburn pony-tail over her shoulder and inwardly, he cursed himself.

  “Let your hair down,” was all he said to her when they were alone together. She obliged him, allowing her hair to tumble down over her shoulders. It wasn’t quite the same colour he thought, but it was close enough. She unclasped her dress, letting it to fall to the floor, and he took in the sight of her naked body. He unbuttoned his trousers and released his hard cock. Gods he was ready for this. She stepped toward him, and her nipples were so hard. She was almost purring at him like a cat. He didn’t let her touch him. Instead he grabbed her and turned her to face away from him. He pushed her toward the bed until she was lying face down on the scarlet cover.

  Then deftly kicking her legs apart, he wrapped his hands in her hair, keeping her face turned toward the bed and away from him. He thrust his whole length into her in one smooth movement. She was wet and surprisingly tight, and he heard himself groan. He wasn’t going to last long, he knew. As he pulled back and smashed into her again and again she moaned in pleasure (real or fake he wasn’t sure, and he didn’t care) and then he was there at his climax. He filled her with his seed, almost blinded by the exertion and the sweetness of the release, all the while he never stopped pounding her slick opening, and as he came all he could think of was Nyssa.

  He pulled himself back from the memory. Truth be told he hated himself for what he had done. The pleasure had been short-lived and when he had looked at her in the courtyard just now, he had felt as though he had betrayed her somehow.

  Arriving at Odyn’s door, he pushed through almost before the guards could fully open it. The other man rose as he entered, and they clasped arms, exactly as they had done before he left. “You’re back. How was it, Ast? Is it as we feared?” Odyn sat back down and poured wine for them both.

  Gratefully taking the offered cup, Astarin whet his thirst and spoke. “It’s exactly as we feared and worse. Those were, indeed, scouting parties coming over the border, and they wore the crests of both Verrier and Tarnfell. So, I thought I’d return the favour and take myself across the border to see what they were up to.”

  Despite the news, Odyn smiled and nodded approvingly.

  Astarin continued, “I got close enough to see their camp, and it was huge, Odyn. Both Valhars were there. I could see their tents, and both armies were mustered together. They weren’t fighting; they were allies. It’s finally happened, Odyn. Heryn and Lerwyn have united against us.”

  Odyn stood suddenly, hammering his open hand against the wood of the desk, his face filled with fury as he turned and paced the room while he spoke. “Why do they insist on doing this? Why throw away all of those lives because they just won’t sit down to talk and reason with us?” He paused, his rage heightening before he flew to the door, smashing his fist against the wood. It splintered beneath the force of his wrath, leaving his knuckles blo
odied.

  Returning to the centre of the room, he carried on pacing and roaring, “All I have done, Ast. Yes, we lost men in the south, but Aestaryn and Barth saw it for what it was. For what it would become if we didn’t stop, and they did the right thing. They saved thousands of lives from being lost when they united with us, and now I am going to send those same men back to battle, probably to their deaths.” He stopped then, his rage quick to come and quick to fade. He returned to his seat, apologising to Astarin as he drank from his cup. “I’m sorry, Ast. You must be tired, you didn’t need to hear that.”

  Astarin shook his head. He had seen his friend’s rages over the years. The only time he ever got this way was when he knew that he was going to lose men on the battlefield or when he had to bring home the bodies after it was done.

  “They won’t be ready for weeks, I don’t think. They have to collect the food and supplies they will need to march and fight. We have time to prepare. They don’t know what I saw. I was in and back out before they knew I was there, which gives us the upper hand.” He looked grim as he continued. “It’ll be close, though, brother. The God and Goddess could tip the scales in either direction.”

  Odyn narrowed his eyes, shaking his head slightly. He looked up toward the ceiling and replied, “That’s what worries me, brother.”

  Roeseer left soon after that. They would not discuss their plans for war immediately. That was how rash decisions were made and lives were lost. He was ready for a hot bath and some food. As he walked toward his own chamber, he thought back on Odyn’s fury. Everyone knew how fierce and violent Lord Odyn’s anger could be. He was famed for it throughout Ankh Shdaar. Despite everything, he laughed to himself, wondering what the armed guard outside the chamber had made of the outburst, especially when he had broken the door.

  What no one knew, however, was that the only time Odyn truly got angry was when he was afraid for the lives of his people. He loved his country, and he loved Kytara. He would do anything to see an end to this war and bring peace to the kingdom. He took up the mantle of Valhar when he was just sixteen years old and had given eighteen of the best years of his life to war, and he wanted nothing in return. Every battle they went to, he knew that Odyn didn’t expect to make it home again. Astarin knew that because he thought exactly the same way himself. But they were at peace with that outcome by now. They knew that it was by the grace of the Goddess Shyara that they ever came home at all. Odyn was a good man, but aside from Bernhardt, Astarin was the only one who knew it.

  Nyssa

  Our walk around the gardens was enjoyable enough, the day was warm and bright and the roses were in full bloom. But at the back of my mind I had the urge to return to my room. At least I could be honest with myself. I wanted to go back in case he came to me. I wanted to know what bad news had made General Roeseer look so worried. It had scared me, I knew enough to know that we were always teetering on the brink of war and Bernhardt’s words had worried me. Bernhardt seemed a little distracted too and that only increased my anxiety. I also wanted to see the General for my own selfish reasons, I had felt his absence over the last four days and I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to know if Lord Odyn had told him about our failed night together and if he knew what would happen to me now.

  Bernhardt walked me back to my red door. Still the only one with a guard outside I thought to myself, although I imagined Lord Odyn had more important things than sex on his mind right now. I said goodbye to the old man and walked past my guard and through the open doorway. I was startled to find General Roeseer waiting for me. He was stood by my bed and had picked up the book I had been reading the night before. He flicked idly though the pages. As I took in the sight of him I realised that he was casually dressed in almost the exact same way that Lord Odyn had been when I was taken to him and I felt a smile touch my lips as I jokingly wondered if they shared a wardrobe. He looked up from the book then and his face softened as he smiled back at me. Putting down the book he walked to the dressing table and poured us both some wine.

  “How are you Nyssa?” he asked me and I sensed a wariness in his tone. I realised then that he didn’t know if Lord Odyn had taken me into his bed or not. He didn’t know, but I was pretty sure that he wanted to. “I’m well thank you General.” I walked toward the cup of wine he held out to me and as I took it I sat in one of the chairs and he did the same. He looked so relaxed as he sat there and I realised I had never seen him like this. He looked like an ordinary man. Albeit a well sculpted, muscular man with the most piercing blue eyes and a handsome, chiselled face. But he looked normal and unimposing and not so scary all of a sudden.

  He was looking at me, taking in my new clothes and the intricate hairstyle customary of women of the capital. He didn’t have that same hungry look as when he was last in my room but I thought he definitely liked what he saw. “Your new clothes look well on you.” He said then. “Have you been taken care of while I was away?” There it was again. There was a questioning tone to his voice. I wanted to tell him, wanted to let him know that Lord Odyn hadn’t used me or hurt me while he was gone. So I told him the truth. “I have been well looked after. I met with Lord Odyn while you were away but I don’t think he liked me very much.”

  He frowned at that. “What do you mean Nyssa?” he was worried now I could tell and I desperately searched for a way to put his mind at rest. “I -I was drunk.” I bit my lip as I continued, “I didn’t want it to hurt so I drank. A lot.” I admitted. “He sent me back and he told me that I looked like a whore.” The final part came tumbling out of my mouth as I remembered the fear and the shame I had felt three nights ago. It felt so good to finally tell someone what had happened. A childish part of me hoped that he would tell me it would all be ok. He didn’t. “Nyssa.” he looked more worried than ever now. “You mustn’t do that again. How he even let you away with it this time Gods only know. Do you think he will keep providing bed and board for a woman who is useless to him? This is a time of war. If you serve no purpose for him...” he didn’t finish. I felt my face pale. I knew that he was right, I had known it for days but not saying it made it seem like it wasn’t true somehow.

  I realised that it hurt to hear him say that to me. I don’t know what I had expected from him but I certainly hadn’t expected the General to come back and tell me that I needed to go to Lord Odyn’s bed. I had clearly misread the signs completely, he didn’t want anything from me. He started to speak again, “The news I brought back with me has done nothing to improve Odyn’s mood. He was angry when I left him. He’s likely to want to take a woman to his bed and soon, to soothe his melancholy. I wanted to let you know. To give you a warning.” His voice trailed off then, as though he realised how his words sounded to me.

  I felt the tears threaten to well up in my eyes. How many times had I cried since I left my home? I wondered to myself. This made me angry and there was no one to lash out at but him. “You know, if ever this war does end General at least you know that you could always seek a new profession, selling the whores at one of your cathouses. You’re very good at it after all.” I stood up so quickly I knocked my chair and it fell to the stone floor with a clatter. He rose with me but he was just standing there looking at me. Like a boy caught stealing apples from the orchard, he looked guilty.

  Just as the silence stretched into the realms of uncomfortable, there was a knock at my door and Gidren walked in. Her eyes shone at the sight of the General, but then she took in the chair on the floor and my face, screwed up in anger. She paused and then quickly regaining her composure, curtseyed, saying, “Beg pardon, General. Nyssa, the Lord Odyn has asked for you tonight.” At that I laughed. The General replied to her. “Thank you Gidren, can you return to us in a little while?” He smiled kindly at her and she beamed back at him. As she reached the door she threw me a worried look and I tried to reassure her with a small smile. She seemed somewhat satisfied and with that she left us alone again.

  I turned to him then, dipping my head in what I thought was
a seductive way and pouting at him. I ran my hands over and up my body, wrapping them in my hair and lifting it to trail across my arms as I walked backwards, away from him. He looked totally confused. “Well.” I said in a husky voice, half closing my eyes and giving him a dark look from below my lashes “If I am to go to my lord and give him what he wants on your instruction General then I may as well enjoy it. Don’t worry I’ll be a good girl tonight, I’ll play nice.”

  His eyes narrowed as he shot me a cold glare. “If I do this, will I please him, General?” I taunted as I backed toward the bed. “I’ll beg him to take me to bed. Oh please, my lord.” I breathed.

  He was really angry now, his fists opened and clenched at his sides, and his blue eyes were as dark as the ocean in a storm.

  Taking another step back, I felt the bed against the back of my legs and stopped. Feeling as though I was possessed, I didn’t know what I was doing, but still I continued. “I’ll beg him to take off my clothes. Take them off, and fuck me.”

  I was planning on saying more, but all of the wind was knocked out of me when he flew across the room with surprising speed. His hands grabbed my shoulders as he collided with me, and knocked me onto my back on the bed. He was on top of me then, his knees straddling me. His hands found my wrists pinning them above my head. Then he kissed me, his lips pressing so hard against mine, I thought he would bruise me. His tongue forced my mouth to open for him, and I was kissing him back, hard and fast. I could feel the hardness of him through his trousers, he was so worked up, and I moaned into his mouth as he pressed himself against me. He let go of my right wrist, using his free hand to gently trace the line of my jaw.