David pulled open the pouch of the jockstrap and retrieved a plastic cup from inside.
“What are you doing?” I asked again.
“It’s an old prank,” David said. “IcyHot in the jockstrap. If you do it this way the prankee won’t feel the gel. After a while, though, the heat and the friction of a workout will make the gel seep through and coat the skin underneath. Sam should start feeling the uncomfortable sensation a few minutes into his workout.”
“It won’t hurt him permanently, will it?” I asked.
“No,” David scoffed. “Guys do it all the time. The amount of gel you could put in the cup would not do any permanent damage, it’ll just tell his brain that he is uncomfortable. Ridiculously uncomfortable.”
“Okay then give me the cup,” I said. I dipped my hand into the jar and scrapped out a massive wad of gel.
“Don’t put that much in,” David warned. “It’s way too much. Sam will feel it before he even gets out of the locker room and he’ll be able to clean out his cup. It’s better if you catch him when he’s outside.”
“Don’t worry,” I said as I caked the cup with layer upon layer of gel until it was nearly full of the stuff. “I’ve got a plan.”
Chapter 9 – Revenge
Sam was the first one down to the locker room. He arrived 20 minutes before the final period had finished, suggesting he had skipped out early. I didn’t blame him. He was probably as eager as we were to avoid talking about the fight.
David and I ducked behind a table in the therapy room as Sam walked past the window. He didn’t even bother looking in. I figured he wouldn’t but it was always good to have a plan work out. We waited a few minutes and then when we were sure Sam was in the locker room we tiptoed out of the therapy room.
I reached out and taped a handwritten sign to the door. “Locker room closed due to flooding. Please change in restrooms,” it said. We didn’t want anyone disturbing us. David reached toward the door handle but I stopped him by putting a hand on his chest.
“Wait!” I whispered.
“What for?” he whispered back.
“Take your shirt off,” I said.
David looked at me like I was crazy. “Are you serious? Like right now?” he said.
“You have to do it,” I hissed. “You lost the bet.”
David rolled his eyes but he reached up and tugged his shirt off. I stared wistfully at those beautiful abs while he tapped his foot impatiently. “Okay, are you done ogling me now?” David said. “I feel dirty.”
“Almost,” I said as I eyed him up and down. “Okay, let’s go now.”
We snuck into the locker room. I slipped into a door frame and hugged the door as closely as I could. I could see Sam just around the edge of the frame. He was also shirtless and was just tightening the belt on his baseball pants. Perfect.
David brushed past me and walked directly towards Sam. Then Sam’s eye’s flickered up and he caught sight of David. His lips curled into a nasty smile. “Numb nuts!” he exclaimed. “Good to see you buddy. Come by for a hug? Or maybe...”
Sam did not get another word out because at that moment David promptly tackled him. He grabbed Sam’s ankle and hooked his leg around Sam’s other ankle. Then he flipped over and dragged Sam into a spladle just like we had discussed.
Sam was squealing in confusion and pain and trying to thrash about as I walked up to them. “Hey Sammy,” I said. He looked up and glared at me through his legs.
I tried to restrain the urge to burst out in laughter but it was impossible. The star of the school baseball team looked ridiculous. He was clearly trying to look like a tough guy but that was pretty difficult to pull off with his butt waving in the air and his legs being pulled apart like a wishbone. Still, I couldn’t help but admire the view. These two gorgeous shirtless males were lying together on the floor with Sam’s head resting on David’s lower abs just below the belly button. David’s muscles rippled from the effort of immobilizing Sam and pulling Sam’s legs farther and farther apart. Even though he was staring daggers at me, Sam looked amazing as well. His abs were equally chiseled and his butt looked fantastic in his tight baseball pants. His face, though contorted, was still very cute.
Well, I wasn’t here to just ogle the boys, as David had pointed out. I raised my hand and revealed a little something I had brought from the girls’ locker room. It was a hair drier.
Sam’s face changed from anger to confusion as I plugged the hair drier into an outlet next to the struggling boys. “What... what are you doing?” he asked uncertainly.
I casually flicked the hair drier onto its highest power and hottest temperature. I had made sure to borrow Becky Larson’s hair drier from her locker. It was powerful enough to sap the energy from an entire city and produce hurricane-force winds. I sat on the bench next to the boys and pointed the hair drier directly at Sam’s crotch. His look of confusion turned to one of alarm as I lowered the hair drier until it tapped against the protective cup nestled between his legs just under his pants.
“Well,” I said conversationally as the hair drier blew air hotter than the surface of the sun into Sam’s crotch. “We weren’t too happy with you. You hurt my friends and then you acted like a coward and kicked David in the groin. Do you know how serious that is? You could have caused permanent damage and sterility. It would have affected his entire life. You could get into all sorts of trouble for that. I’m very serious. Luckily, it looks like he is recovering well, but we wanted to make sure we got the point across to you. We wanted to ensure that you do not do anything like that again and that you apologize to the people you hurt. Also, and this part is a bit selfish, we wanted to get a bit of revenge. So, what we did was we coated the inside of your little cup with IcyHot. A lot of IcyHot. Like, pretty much the entire jar. I am actually kind of surprised you were able to squeeze anything else into the cup. Anyway, right now the heat from this blow drier is melting all that IcyHot gel so that it seeps through the lining of your jockstrap. You are being good enough to put up a struggle so all that gel is getting amply spread across your... well, I guess we’re calling them boys now. Are you feeling a cool minty sensation?”
Now Sam looked really worried. His eyes widened and he redoubled his efforts. It was no use. David had him trapped and from the look of the happy smile on David’s face it didn’t look like he was going to let Sam go anytime soon.
I waited. Sam suddenly froze and then his eyes widened ever further. He grimaced and then bit his lip. “What do you want?” he asked. The words spilled out of his mouth a bit too quickly.
“I take it the heat is starting to set in,” I said. “Good. I’ll tell you what I want. I want peace on earth. I want to watch pretty sunsets and have good health for me and my entire family...”
“What do you want from me?” Sam blurted out. He was starting to pant and beads of perspiration were forming on his skin.
“Oh, I see, I’m so glad you clarified,” I said, speaking slowly. Watching Sam squirm was proving to be great fun. “Well, first I want you to apologize to Dylan. And it better be a very nice apology.”
“Done!” Sam said loudly. “Can I go now?”
“This is good Sam,” I said. “You’re being very polite. I think we’re getting somewhere. Just a few more things. Secondly, I want you to apologize to David.”
“I’m sorry,” Sam said immediately. “Can I go?”
“Hmm...” I said. “I’m not sure I believed that. How about you, David? Did you believe that apology?”
“Didn’t seem very sincere to me,” David said.
“Okay, okay!” Sam cried. “Please! I’m sorry. It was a really jackass thing to do. I just lost control.”
“And you’ll never do it again?” I said.
“Ahhh! Never! I swear!” Sam squealed. He was squirming around like crazy now. The gel was working its magic but I knew that the pain was going to get even worse the longer I waited. Much worse.
“Okay, you seem to be earnest about this,” I m
used. “I’m just going to get a little insurance to make sure that you are.”
I took out a pink whiteboard marker I had found in the therapy room and started drawing little hearts on Sam’s chest. I drew a big smiley face on his abs and turned his belly button into the nose. His abs were so well defined that the smiley face looked a little lumpy but it would suffice. Then I took out a black marker and turned my attention to his face. “Hold still,” I said. “The more you squirm the longer it will take me to get this right.”
Sam’s entire body was now glistening with sweat. I could tell that he wanted to squirm but he tried his best to hold still for me, wanting this to be over. I took great care in coloring his nose and making sure that the cat whiskers I gave him were just right.
I stepped back to admire my work. I was very pleased with the final result. Then I got out my phone. “Say cheese!” I said as I snapped photos of the two boys.
“What are you going to do with those pictures?” Sam exclaimed. His voice cracked halfway through the sentence so that ended in a very high pitch. Then he couldn’t contain himself anymore. “Ahhhhh!!!” he screamed. “My balls are on fire. Please!!!”
“Nothing so long as you are good,” I said calmly. “If I hear that you have apologized sincerely to Dylan and you are very respectful and kind to girls and all my friends, this will be our little secret. I think you are a great guy deep down, Sam. I really liked you when I first met you. You just liked your friends and your reputation more. Maybe now that you know how much your actions can hurt people, you will act differently. If you do, this photo will never see the light of day. If you don’t, this photo is going everywhere. I will personally post it online and distribute it around school. I can probably sell it to a lot of girls around here. They’re dying for photos of you shirtless. This one would be a dream come true for them. Of course, I’m sure there are a lot of guys on the baseball and other sports teams who would love to get a hold of this as well to take you down a peg or two. It’ll be viral. You know, these days photos can follow you around your whole life.”
“I promise!!!” Sam squealed. It was clear that enduring a couple minutes of stinging gel was too much for him. So much for males being the tougher sex. If boys had to put up with some of the things that girls went through... well, maybe they would be a tad less cocky all the time.
“Alright David, I think we can let him go.”
David released Sam. The baseball player scrambled to the shower room as quickly as he could. A moment later we heard the water running. David winced. “That’s not going to be a fun shower,” he said.
We left the locker room and took the sign off the door. David put his shirt back on just in time for the first athletes to come streaming down the stairs. The school day was over. We waited off to the side for someone to tell us that the principal was looking for us or that we had been suspended or even expelled. Instead, no one paid us much attention. Students streamed by us and a few said hi. Then Coach Dumfy noticed me and demanded to know why I wasn’t rushing to get on the field.
“It looks like we’re not in trouble,” I said in wonderment.
“Yeah, looks that way,” David said, sounding equally amazed. “I thought for sure I’d get in trouble for tackling those guys. Maybe they didn’t rat me out. Heck, they might not have even remembered it was me. There was a lot going on.”
“You?” I said. “They should give you an award. I’m the one who should be suspended.”
“Why you?” he said. “You didn’t do anything. I thought you said that Sam punched Dylan and that kicked things off.”
“Sure,” I said, “but I guess I was the reason behind it. All for a stupid game.”
As soon as the words were out of my mouth I wished I could take them back. Why had I mentioned the game? I didn’t want David to know about the kiss list, not now.
David’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “What game?” he asked.
“Look,” I said. “I need to get to soccer. We shouldn’t talk about this here. I know you deserve an explanation. Let’s meet sometime tomorrow to discuss it.”
I reached out to hold David’s hand but he jerked it away. “What game?” he repeated loudly.
I stared at his stony face and realized that I needed to tell him. I owed him that much. I cleared my throat uneasily and then began. “Last week a few of my friends and I made a list of some of the most eligible boys in the school. The ones we thought were really cute, nice... that sort of thing. We drew cards and I got the high card so that meant I was the one who had to go around and kiss all the boys on the list. Oh, I know that sounds silly and dumb and doesn’t make sense but it did at the time, somehow. I kissed Sam but then I had an argument with him and then I kissed Dylan and you but Sam was upset and started the fight with Dylan. I know it’s so stupid now but I am really sorry and I like you and I want...”
“So the only reason you even talked to me was so that you could check me off your list?” David interrupted incredulously.
“No!” I said. This was not coming out right. “Well, yes, but then I realized I really liked you. I...”
“I can’t believe this,” David said angrily. “I thought you actually liked me but in fact the only reason why you were interested in me is what? A stupid bet you made with your friends? Over some sort of card game? Why were you giving Sam a hard time? You’re just as guilty as he is.”
“No David, you’ve got it wrong, let me explain.”
I didn’t get a chance. David turned and walked away from me as fast as he could.
Chapter 10 – Wrong Paul
The kiss list was done. When I got home that night after confessing to David I took the list, crunched it up into a little ball, and hurled it into the trash can underneath my desk. Then I sent a text to the girls: “No more kissing.” I wanted to forget that the list had ever existed. Unfortunately, it was too late. I had already caught the attention of the queen of Lakeville High School, Missy James herself.
With great difficulty, Alyssa and Payton managed to drag me to a party on Friday night. I wanted nothing to do with the people at school. Seeing everyone the day after the fight had been horrible. I kept waiting for someone to accuse me of starting it. The thought of being surrounded by them sounded like hell. Alyssa and Payton insisted, however, that I could not spent the rest of my high school career hiding in my room, as I had told them I planned to do. The devious little traitors invited me to a comedy club show and once I was Alyssa’s flowery car they announced that we were going to a party at Chloe Walker’s house.
“No!” I cried. “Turn this car around right now! I told you I’m not going to be around those people. They hate me.”
“Step on it, Alyssa,” Payton said. “Sadie, are you kidding? They don’t hate you. They think you’re a legend.”
“What?” I said skeptically.
“It’s true,” Alyssa said. “Molly Tate told me that she heard five boys were fighting over you and then you made out with all of them afterwards.”
“That’s ridiculous,” I said. “You really need to stop listening to Molly Tate.”
“I heard something similar from the cheerleaders,” Payton said. “Luckily the sophomore girls have been pretty quiet. If they knew what you did to Sam they would go nuts. Seriously, those girls would cut you.”
“Well that’s just perfect,” I said. “The entire school thinks I’m a slut.”
“The entire school thinks you’re the coolest girl ever!” Payton said. “The girls are all jealous and the guys want to know what they’re missing. We shouldn’t be throwing out the kiss list, we should be expanding it! You can get any guy you want now.”
I shook my head furiously. “No,” I said firmly. “The kiss list is gone. I’m done hurting boys.”
Payton sighed. “Suit yourself. Such a waste,” she said.
Chloe’s house was an enormous brown brick building with large white pillars out front, an attached four-car garage to the side, and a pool in the back. Both her p
arents were doctors so she was loaded. They were far too trustworthy and went to East Coast to visit Chole’s ailing grandmother several times a year. When they did, Choe hosted parties fueled by a keg that her older cousin would bring in return for a handsome profit. Missing one of her parties was equivalent to social suicide because people talked about them for months afterwards. If you couldn’t partake in the discussion, all you could do was listen to everyone else and look like a loser.
We were handed drinks by eager boys as soon as we walked inside the house. We politely took them and then set them aside and got new red plastic cups from beside the keg when the boys weren’t looking. Even though we knew everyone at the party, we had been well warned by our parents not to take drinks we hadn’t been in constant watch over. We filled our cups with water instead. Most of time, people saw the red cup and assumed we were drinking beer. In the rare occasions that they actually looked into our cups, we would say that we couldn’t drink because our “lame” parents always checked us when we got home and threatened to report us to the school if we ever drank. We were willing to risk being grounded, we would say, but the school’s strict “alcohol equals no participation” policy was too daunting. Sports were cool so that excuse was enough to get us off the hook and even garner some sympathy for having to put up with our parents.
In spite of my earlier trepidation, the party was fun. There were a lot of soccer girls there and we laughed and joked about our last game and the hissy fit Coach Dumfy had thrown before we turned the table on the other team and won. We actually had a reasonable shot at getting to state this year. I also made a concerted effort to talk to non-soccer players, however. I knew I had a tendency to hang around my friends and teammates but school was more than just them. There were all sorts of other people I knew from classes and other activities that I wanted to make sure I talked to.
Kiss List (The List Series) Page 7