Getting through the day is going to be a challenge. It’s not like we have the buffer of work to help iron out the awkwardness either. Today he’s supposed to be taking me around London. Given how we left things I’m guessing I’ll be spending most of the day by myself because I have no idea what to say to him.
Hey, how’s it hanging? It took me thirty minutes to wash the ice cream out of my hair and the few places on my body you didn’t lick clean. By the way, that was one hell of an orgasm. Thanks for that! Ready to check out St. Paul’s Cathedral?
Kill me now.
Groaning, I sit up a grab the mug that’s long since lost its steam but still tastes amazing. He made me coffee, that must count for something. He also left me a note.
Gym and errands. Be back.
Alright, it’s not like he’s completely avoiding me. I’m probably over reacting. Up until he left for condoms it was an amazing night. He was attentive, thoughtful, and charming. I don’t regret what happened but I hate not knowing where his head is at.
He’s emotionally unpredictable.
My phone chimes and if for no reason other than I need to get out of my own head, I check my email. It’s from Jack.
Gabby,
Approval for Lucas’s promotion is sitting in your queue. Email me when it’s done.
Jack
My aggravation soars to an all-time high.
First of all, why is this is a priority at 2AM his time? And second, I’m pretty sure I said I agreed Lucas was ready to be promoted, but I meant in a few months from now like it was planned. Not today. What’s the rush?
Unless Jack’s already made the decision to make Lucas his successor and told me he’d hold off on it to make me think I had a say.
Whatever. I’m so not in the mood for this.
Lucas isn’t ready to lead the division but he also isn’t the type to say no. If Jack gives him the chance he’ll just kill himself to succeed. And if Jack feels this strongly about it he’s going to do it anyway. Leaders find a way to bypass their HRBP’s all the time.
I get out of bed and fold the half-dozen shirts of Lucas’s that I hand washed with my shampoo last night when I couldn’t sleep and hung dry. Heaven forbid there be a stain. I smile at the memory of our ice cream shenanigans and pray that by some miracle the situation isn’t as grave as I imagine.
Needing resolution on where we stand one way or the other, I knock on Lucas’s door. There was no indication in his note of when he might return. Hell he could already be back. I can’t sit here feeling uncomfortable about last night. No, I need to be an adult. We need to talk and he offered to show me around. It’s our last day in London and I don’t want to waste it.
Time to rip off the Band-Aid.
Standing in front the adjoining door, I knock three times. When there’s no answer I try the doorknob and find it’s unlocked. Just like both of us have done countless times since we’ve been here I let myself in.
The place is a mess.
Melted ice cream remains on the cart and the pillows are scattered across the floor. Not that I’ve ever seen his apartment but I assume it’s organized and neat, exactly like his office. Until last night this room was impeccably clean. The thought of him sleeping with such disarray going on is unimaginable.
I guess I contributed to this clutter, maybe I should straighten up.
Intending to do that, I place the stack of his shirts on the table and freeze when something catches my eye. On the chair next to the table is a crumpled paper bag with a small box poking out of the top with the logo of a symbolic horse. Snooping is wrong but I can’t stop my hand from pulling the box out of the bag for confirmation.
Condoms.
I bite my lip to contain my excitement. Did they get a new shipment in this morning or did he scour the entire city last night? More importantly, why the hell didn’t he wake me up? Curious, I reach in the bag and fish out the receipt and triple check the time and date.
It’s from last night.
My elation deflates faster than a punctured balloon.
Lucas lied to me.
He didn’t have the guts to tell me he changed his mind and lied.
God, I might be sick.
I stare at the package. What the hell do I do now? Call him on it? What good will that do? I’m mortified enough as it is. He flew out of the room to buy these, actually purchased them and somewhere in the trip to the room decided I wasn’t what he wanted. I’m not sure I want to know the reason. Point is he made a decision and it wasn’t me.
I toss the condoms on the table and go back to my room where I pace for an eternity and still have no answer on how to proceed. My phone pings with a text from Jack and I nearly throw the thing across the wall. Here I am having a personal meltdown and he’s up my ass about a stupid approval. What the fuck?
Wait a minute.
I stop pacing and review the sequence of events. If Jack’s already had the promotion entered in the HRIS system and simply needs my approval there’s a good chance he’s already told Lucas. The only time Lucas was alone last night was when he went to hotel store. If Jack called Lucas and told him about the promotion after Lucas had made his purchase it makes sense that Lucas would be acting weird.
Assuming that’s what happened, at least he had a valid reason for pressing the pause button, though he didn’t need to be dishonest. To be sure I scroll through my emails from last night. Sure enough there’s an email from Jack to Lucas, sent at 5:38PM EST. I’m cc’d.
Lucas,
I’ve spoken with Gabby and have her approval to move forward with your promotion. Being that you’re already working at a more senior capacity I see no reason to wait. Effective immediately your title will be Senior Vice President, Strategy. We’ll discuss your new compensation when you return.
As I told you a couple of week ago, having a strong partnership with HR is essential to the success of the organization and your own success as a leader. Glad you decided to invest in the partnership.
Congratulations on this accomplishment and great work in London.
Jack
Lucas’s response came about an hour later.
Thanks, Jack—for the opportunity and the great advice. I wish I’d taken it sooner but given this news I’d say the energy spent building the relationship was well worth it.
I reread Lucas’s reply. The energy spent was well worth it? Why, because his promotion went through sooner than expected?
Anger courses through my veins.
A couple of weeks ago Lucas sabotaged my date and guilted me into helping him over the weekend. He knew I didn’t think he was ready and he was hell bent on proving me wrong. More global experience. He sure as shit got that and how convenient that I was present. He didn’t care about getting me more acclimated to the business by having me attend customer meetings. This was a ploy to get close to me so I’d support his promotion.
Must have been really important to him if he was willing to sleep with me to seal the deal. What a relief that must have been for him when he realized it wasn’t necessary.
A lump formed in my throat.
Now it all makes sense. The timing of our partnership, his reaction to us getting close…everything. He never wanted to work together and he never wanted me. It was a means to an end. I was a means to an end.
I collapse on the bed and press the heels of my hands into my eyes. Holy shit I’m so blind. He didn’t respect me professionally and he was never attracted to me. He used me to get my vote and bailed when it was no longer needed. Worst of all he probably thinks I agreed to his promotion because of what happened between us last night.
Humiliation doesn’t begin to cover the depth of what I’m experiencing. He must be laughing his ass off, walking the city knowing he outsmarted me. And now I’m going to have to face him every single day knowing he’s spent time between my legs. How do I recover from that?
You don’t.
This is exactly why you don’t get involved with a co-worker. Everyo
ne has an agenda and I now I know his—getting to the top no matter what the stakes. Any respect I thought he had for me? Gone if it ever existed. Hopes for getting past this? Slim to none.
This is a blow to my professional pride, sure, but nothing compares at the moment to piercing pain in my chest. Weeks…I’ve spent weeks telling myself the way I felt was a silly crush despite knowing deep down it was more. Regardless of him being an ass most of the time I thought I’d seen the real him and I can’t deny that I’ve developed feelings for him. Last night I was so sure he felt something for me too.
Boy was I wrong.
Was I so wrapped up in him that I invented the entire thing or is he really that good of an actor?
Tears prick my eyes.
All that bullshit about wanting me and not being able to think of anything else when I was around was exactly that. Bullshit. I don’t have time for this. I need to get out of here.
Drying my eyes, I try to calm down long enough to get the hell out of dodge. I pull up available flights on my phone and sag in relief when I find an available seat, but I’ll have to hurry if I’m going to make it since it leaves in a few hours.
Scurrying around the room, I get my things together and shove them in my suitcase. I call the front desk and request a cab. Luckily the concierge notifies me that one is on standby when I’m ready. I do one last check of the room and pause by the open adjoining door.
One more thing to do.
I dig through my laptop bag and search for my pink sticky notes and write two messages when I find them and strategically place them in Lucas’s room. I shut the door behind me and power down my phone, determined to hang onto my anger long enough to get me to airport. If he calls I’m in no shape to talk to him, and if he doesn’t I’ll be devastated.
Without a second thought I leave for the airport, putting Lucas and what happened far behind me.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
My eyes snap open at the persistent pounding. I rub the sleep from my eyes and glance at the clock. 9:38PM. What the hell? Summer’s note said she was staying with Brad. It’s probably Kyra.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
“I’m coming,” I yell.
I drag myself out of bed and down the hall to the front door. I flip the lock and remove the chain as another round of pounding ensues. “For the love of God, Kyra,” I snap when I open the door.
It’s not Kyra.
Fuck.
I’m momentarily frozen, yet suddenly very awake, my heart racing a million miles a minute. I shake off the surprise of having an uninvited visitor and move to slam the door in his face.
He’s too quick. And from the looks of it, seething mad.
Lucas shoulders his way into my apartment, dragging his suitcase with him. I back into the wall and watch the door shut. He paces back and forth in the foyer in front of me for a long minute before coming to a stop. He drags his hand through his disheveled hair, keeping his focus on the floor between us.
“What are you doing here?” I finally ask.
“Twelve hours, Gabriella.” His eyes meet mine. “I’ve spent the last twelve hours trying to come up with what to say to you.”
“Perhaps you should have waited until you figured it out instead of pounding on my door in the middle of the night.”
“I had no idea where you were or if you were okay. Christ, I ended up bribing the concierge to tell me if you’d checked out and where you went.”
“How fitting,” I mutter.
Ignoring me, his hand dips into his pocket and pulls out folded pieces of pink paper.
“Like it never happened,” he says, reading the first note I’d left on his pile of shirts. He then reads the second one that was placed on the condoms. “Lucky for both of us you didn’t need to follow through, but good to know you’re willing to rise to any challenge.”
He steps forward with purpose and holds the notes directly in front of my face. “For fuck’s sake, Gabriella. Tell me you don’t honestly think I’d sleep with you to get ahead in my career.”
I don’t reply because that’s exactly what I think.
He drops his hand and looks back at the pieces of paper, then he takes a few steps back from me. “What kind of man do you think I am?”
“One who’d do anything to climb the corporate ladder.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“Evidence would suggest otherwise,” I hiss.
“Right. The box of condoms. You’re a regular Sherlock Holmes.”
I laugh sharply without humor. “It was painfully obvious.”
“Painful? Was that how it seemed to you? Because when I left your room you looked thoroughly pleased. You want to talk about pain, consider the physical state I’ve been in since I left your room. Better yet since the day we met.”
I step forward, invading his space, and poke a finger in his chest. “You hated me for months. Refused to work with me. Suddenly, you decide to give me a chance. I tell you I don’t think you’re ready to be promoted and the next thing I know you’re attached to my hip, wanting my opinion and taking my advice. I let me guard down and foolishly let you in,” I shove him. “I bought into your so-called attraction for me when really you just wanted to take advantage of mine to get ahead. Well congratulations. You got your promotion early and it didn’t require you to sacrifice your dick.”
Lucas looks down at me, eyes blazing. “I never hated you,” his words are deliberate and sincere. “I couldn’t get you out of my goddamn head long enough to think straight…being around you was the only thing that made sense because avoiding you was too fucking hard.” I take a step backwards and he follows. “I gave you a chance because you’re smart.” Another step. “I’m the one who let my guard down.” And another. “And there is nothing fake about my attraction to you.”
My back flattens against the wall with a thud.
“I don’t believe you,” I reply looking up at him.
“Then why fuck am I here? Huh? Why did I change my flight and fly halfway across the world if I didn’t need to follow through?”
I push up on my tiptoes to emphasize my point. “Because I haven’t processed the paperwork yet.”
Lightning fast his expression darkens. Nose to nose he tells me, “Let’s get one thing straight. I don’t take handouts. I earned that promotion through hard work, not from getting you on your back.”
He pauses as his eyes drop to my chest and scans the length of my body. It’s then that I remember I was sleeping which is why I’m fighting with Lucas in the hallway wearing nothing but a tank top and white panties with pink polka dots.
“As much as I enjoyed burying my face between your thighs, I’d never solicit sexual favors in exchange for advancement.”
I want to believe him but I can’t wrap my head around any of it.
“Go back to ignoring me, Lucas. Forget what happened in London. It was a mistake.”
Of all the words we’ve exchanged, this sets him off. His eyes darken with such intensity I will the wall to swallow me up.
“A mistake?” he growls through clenched teeth. “The only mistake was not finishing what I started.”
In one fluid movement he scoops my legs and brings them around his back. Looking for stability, I wrap my arms around his neck as he slams me against the wall and uses it as leverage.
“Believe that?” he whispers in my ear. I close my eyes as he rocks his erection against me. “You do that to me. All the goddamn time.”
I open my mouth to protest but all that comes out is a moan when Lucas’s mouth closes over mine. I should stop this now. He’s given me no explanation for what he did but as his hands grip backside and he grinds against me rational thoughts are nowhere to be found.
Lucas moans my name against my lips and carries me down the hall, pausing only to confirm which room is mine. Safe to say he guessed right when I land on my pink comforter with all of his weight between my legs.
Shifting, Lucas desperately peels off what little clothes I have
on. Storm clouds brew in his eyes, taking in every exposed inch of me as he sits back on his heels and pulls his own shirt over his head and then rids himself of his pants.
Hovering over me he cups my breast and leans forward and takes the other in his mouth, circling his tongue around my hardened nipples and sucks. Pleasure shoots through me, sending my hips off the bed. My nails plant themselves in his back, silently begging him to finish what we started.
He rips open a condom I didn’t know he had and I watch as he rolls it over his gloriously perfect length.
“Lucas,” I beg.
“Tell me,” he says hoarsely, teasing me with his tip. “Tell me you believe me.”
His words are demanding yet there’s a vulnerability to his expression that I don’t fully understand. The only certainty I have is that we both crave the closeness of each other’s bodies and need release to get our sanity back.
“I believe you,” I tell him honestly as he slightly eases in and out.
The moment the words leave my mouth he slams the rest of the way in, filling me to the hilt. I cry out from combined pleasure and pain and Lucas tenses inside me, allowing me a moment to adjust to his size, and then picks up to a punishing pace that I not only accept but return. It’s rougher, needier than the sex I’ve experienced before, but so are the emotions behind it.
We move together as if we’ve done this a hundred times before, but with the desperation of knowing it might never happen again. Wrapping my legs around his hips I refuse to think about that. I’m so consumed by him that the aftermath of our actions seem as if they’re a million years away and until I have to face the truth I’ll gladly stay in denial.
His finger slides between our bodies and he begins rubbing circles on my clit. “Get there, Gabriella. I can’t wait much longer.”
I frantically grind against his hand seeking more friction. I’m so close it doesn’t take much before I feel that tightening low in my belly and cry out Lucas’s name as I fall over the edge.
Conflict of Interest (Employee Relations Book 1) Page 19