Catching himself, he withdrew his hand. “What would Boaz say if he saw you after one of your practices?”
I flinched, well aware I resembled hamburger meat most nights, and his eyes gleamed with triumph. “He would kill her.”
“I’ve been tempted,” Linus muttered.
“Linus.” I must be hearing things. “You’re supposed to be the rational one.”
“Let me offer you an alternative.” His muscles stiffened in expectation of a swift rejection. “I have a friend who teaches self-defense. Work with him a few months, learn the basics, and then you can graduate to Taz. Against all odds, I am aware of how much you like her. But she isn’t for you. Not yet.”
“I’ll think about it.” With my jaw pulsing in time with my heart, it was hard to argue the point with him. “I’ll have to talk to her, and to Boaz, first. I don’t want them to think I’m ungrateful or that I’m wimping out on them.”
“May I?” Linus picked up my cell from where someone had placed it at the foot of the bed and held it out for me to unlock. Curious, I did as he requested then waited to see what he wanted to show me. “This was the first time.”
He turned the screen toward me, and I got an eyeful of the picture I had taken to send Boaz as a sort of thank you before common sense prevailed, and I deleted the text. He would have blown a gasket if he had any idea how intense our sessions got or that Linus refereed with the caveat I allowed him to heal me afterward.
“Your lessons have escalated. You’re showing marked improvement, but you’re also sustaining worse damage.” As my private nurse, he ought to know. “You owe neither of them gratitude for this.”
“I’ll handle it.” With a grimace, I deleted the picture like I should have already done. “Promise.”
Relenting at last, Linus blacked the screen then placed the phone out of my reach. “I’ll bring your things in here, and you can get started on your homework.”
“Are you serious?” I gestured to my face. “This doesn’t earn me a free pass?”
“You’re off tonight, you won’t take the painkillers, and you won’t let me paint on a sigil to dull the hurt.” He moved in for the kill. “Woolly and Amelie and Oscar will hover over you if you go home, so you might as well stay here in the quiet and be productive.”
“Teacher logic strikes again.” As much as I hated admitting it, he was right. I didn’t want to go home yet. I couldn’t face an entire night of Amelie snapping covert pictures to text her brother along with updates when he seemed to have forgotten my number. One call, and he could get news right from the source, but my phone remained silent.
The uncharacteristic quiet on his end made me nervous. Usually bouts of introspection where relationships where concerned ended with him spouting it’s not you, it’s me or another canned response guaranteed to result in raccoon eyes for his current girlfriend.
Except, for the first time, that ‘current girlfriend’ was me.
“Fine.” Despite the headache, and yeah, okay, heartache, I caved. “But I’m not reading another word on the greatness of horned owls.”
Four
Night passed in blissful silence at the carriage house. Linus had his own work to keep him occupied, so he didn’t hover while I studied. His mastery of the art of silence was so complete, I didn’t notice him leaving to pick up soup for our dinner. The logo on the cup he pressed into my hand matched an upscale bistro in town I avoided like the plague due to its High Society vibes. They might not hand out fourteen-karat spoons, but their clothlike to-go napkins were stuffed with gold-tone utensils.
I forgave them their ridiculousness when I took my first mouthful of French onion soup heavy on the Gruyere and decided maybe I could revisit my avoidance policy.
Lounging in bed with a full stomach made me drowsy, and I blamed that for musing on how nice it must be to live in a house unable to form its own opinions on your life choices. Instantly, I regretted thinking I could get along without Woolly when I was all she had left. If that meant she clung a little tighter than necessary, then so be it. Though, truth be told, the break from Amelie was welcome, and I didn’t experience even a twinge of remorse for acknowledging that.
Maybe Maud had been onto something by only allowing us to sleep over once a week.
“Are you ready to go home?” Linus appeared in the doorway, black-framed glasses sliding down his nose and eyebrows raised. “I can walk you over, but I’ll have to call Amelie to help you upstairs.”
“Sorry about that.” I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of the mattress. “Woolly cultivates her grudges the way Maud used to nurture her plants.”
“I broke her trust.” He rushed over and tossed his glasses on the bed before helping me stand. “It will take time for her to forgive me. I understand that.” He hooked his right arm around my waist to hold me steady then draped my left one across his shoulders. “Though, at times, I’ll admit it is inconvenient.”
“She’ll forgive you eventually,” I assured him. “She loves Oscar, and she knows you’re the reason he’s here with us. That alone earned you tons of bonus points.”
Though I didn’t have the heart to tell Linus that Oscar was still shy of him, which meant grateful or not, Woolly wasn’t going to let him in anytime soon.
We shuffled our way across the yard, and she allowed him on the porch without so much as a reprimanding flicker. Amelie flung open the door and her arms at the same time, and I felt like a dirt sandwich accepting her hug when I had been avoiding her for hours.
“I’m going to murder Taz,” she growled, and I stiffened in her hold. “Geez, Grier, I don’t mean it in the literal sense.” She drew back and examined me. “Though my brother might once he gets a load of this.”
I thought back to my phone, which hadn’t rung a single time tonight. “Have you talked to him?”
“Yes.” She released me to rub her ears. “I’m shocked you didn’t hear his bellows from across the yard.”
“I haven’t heard much of anything from Boaz.” The words slipped out before I could call them back.
Ugh.
I didn’t want this to be me, the jealous-girlfriend type who craved each meager scrap of attention. But I also had no idea how the whole relationship thing worked. Did I have the right to demand more? Or was I supposed to let him dole out what he thought was enough? And was the reverse true? Not that I’d had much chance to ice him out thanks to smacking up against the brick wall of his inattention.
Amelie mashed her lips into a hard line, her gaze skittering like a spider up the far wall behind me.
That…was not reassuring.
“I’ll come for you at dusk,” Linus said from the porch. “Call if you need anything.”
“Go home. Rest.” I took his hand and squeezed it. “You’ve done enough for me for one day.”
Pink saturated his cheeks as he tightened his long fingers around mine. “It’s my pleasure.”
At least Amelie had the good manners to wait until the door shut behind Linus to mock him. “It’s my pleasure.” Her arm slid around my waist. “Who talks like that?”
“He does.” A prickle of irritation made me wish I could manage the steps up to my room alone. “What’s your problem?”
“Why didn’t he bring you straight back here?” she demanded. “Woolly and I were worried sick.”
The old house groaned, a sure sign she didn’t want to be used as leverage in our latest spat.
“He can’t enter Woolly, remember? The carriage house was closer, so he took me there.”
“Convenient,” she grumbled.
“Heinz popped in for a house call—” I kept going, talking over her mini rant, “—and he told me to take it easy. Since I was off tonight, Linus propped me up and put me to work on a lesson.” I slid her a stern look. “It was nothing nefarious.”
“I don’t trust him.”
“You don’t have to, Ame.” I patted her back. “He’s not your problem.”
Amelie tensed at my t
one but kept going. “Boaz is pissed.”
“When is Boaz ever not pissed when it comes to Linus?” All that navel-gazing earlier had given me fresh perspective. “He’s not my boyfriend. We went on one date. That means he doesn’t have the right to an opinion. Especially one he can’t be bothered to call and voice himself.”
Jealousy might be a new concept for him, but his past antics had turned me green often enough to know it did nothing for my complexion. And, okay, yes, I was still in a snit over the fact he had made no effort to communicate with me since the night he dropped his sister off at my house. Yet another keepsake of his for me to store until he wanted it back.
The Elite deploy where they’re sent, I got that, but wherever he was stationed had plenty of cell service as far as I could tell. How else could he touch base with his sister every other day? And I know it was him, their banter so familiar I would recognize the back-and-forth anywhere.
Now, I’m not saying I was eavesdropping on her phone calls. I’m just saying her voice carries, especially when I press my ear against her bedroom door.
“He may not be your boyfriend, but he’s your something. I think that earns him the right to be concerned when you get hurt or when you spend the night in another man’s bed.”
My head snapped toward her. “How do you know I was in his room and not the guestroom?”
“I saw you through the window.”
“No, you didn’t.” I had plenty of time to soak up my surroundings while pretending to be studious. “The curtains were shut. Heinz closed them before he left so the rear porch light didn’t bother me.”
The angle was all wrong too. From the porch, maybe. But she wasn’t supposed to be out there.
“Okay, you got me.” We reached the landing, and she shepherded me toward my room. “I called Taz and asked for details.”
Groaning, I toddled into my room and eased down onto the mattress. “I don’t remember seeing her.”
“Who do you think carried you?” She snorted. “Linus?”
“Yes.” Actually, that’s exactly what I’d thought. Taz, having been the one to KO me, must have beat him to the punch. “You’re saying she put me in his bed then lit up the phone tree to broadcast the details.”
“We have the right—”
“I get it.” I sagged back against my pillows. “You’re my best friend, and Boaz is my something, but that doesn’t entitle either of you to every detail of my life.”
She flung her arms out to the sides. “You know every detail of my life.”
“Uh, no. I don’t. Or I didn’t. Not until it was too late.” I bit the inside of my cheek, but the buildup of annoyance had bubbled over my lips. “Ame, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”
“I’m grateful for what you did for me,” she said, voice flat. “But no one asked you to save me.”
“You’re right.” The snide comment erased all that came before it, and that was my breaking point. “In fact, your mother ordered me not to.”
Tears glistened in her eyes as she spun on her heel and hit the stairs.
I was too exhausted to go after her and too afraid of what I might say when I caught her.
Instead I curled up against my pillows and closed my eyes.
A scream tore from my throat, raw and aching, and fresh pain lanced along my jaw before I clamped my mouth shut. As awareness settled over me, I grasped that I wasn’t huddled on the hard floor in a corner as I expected, but balanced across warm thighs and cradled against a wide chest.
“Hush, Squirt.” Boaz caressed the length of my spine. “It was just a dream.”
“Just the dream.” I ran my newly healed tongue along the edge of my teeth before asking, “How are you here?”
“Magic.”
“Mmm-hmm.” All the anger I had been carting around for the past two weeks smashed to pieces at his feet. He was here. That was all that mattered. “You can’t drop your life and come running every time I stub a toe.”
“Watch me.” His lips brushed my forehead. “For as long as I can, I will.”
Fear of how long that might be had me snuggling closer. “You’re sweet.”
“I can be.” His chuckle deepened. “With proper motivation.”
“What were you doing before Amelie and Taz blew up your phone?”
“It’s classified.” His gaze dipped before meeting mine again. “It’s also boring as hell.”
“Poor baby.” I reached up and patted his prickly cheek. “How long can you stay?”
“Twenty-four hours.” He turned his face and pressed a kiss into my palm. “That’s the best I could do.”
A tiny corner of my heart deflated at the brevity of the visit, and I fisted his shirt like that might hold him here with me. “We need to talk.”
“Am I in trouble?” He ruffled the longer hair on top of his head into a tousled mess. “I should have called before inviting myself over, but I didn’t think. I heard you got hurt and I—”
“I’m glad you’re here.” I blasted out a sigh. “The problem is how you knew to come in the first place.”
“Taz called me right after it happened. Amelie reached out thirty minutes later with an update.” A frown knit his brow. “Did you not want me to know?”
“It’s not that.” I traced the logo on his T-shirt with my fingertip. “Of course I want them to call you when it’s important, but it feels like every time I get a paper cut, one of them is texting you.”
“I didn’t ask them to if that’s where you’re headed with this.” He tangled his fingers in my hair. “I haven’t discouraged them, though. I’ll give you that.”
“I would appreciate a touch more privacy, that’s all I’m saying.”
“Ah.” The weight of his hand pulled on my scalp in a pleasant way. “You’re waiting for me to lose my cool over you convalescing in Linus’s bed.”
Aware he was cataloging the damage and not going in for a kiss, I still allowed him to tip my head back. “I will admit I expected fireworks.”
“Grier.” The rare use of my name released butterflies into my stomach, and he smiled down on me until the bruising drew his eye. “Are you attracted to Linus?”
Thinking I misheard him, I straightened on his lap. “What?”
Our gazes clashed, and he repeated the question. “Are you romantically interested in Linus Andreas Lawson III?”
Had the pain not stopped me from dropping my jaw, it would have scraped the floor. “What?”
“Your shock is priceless.” Amusement lightened his eyes. “You’ve really never thought about it?”
“He’s got pretty hair but…” I tried and failed to frame a response. He was smart and kind and funny and so many other unexpected things. “He’s Linus.”
A smirk tugged up one corner of his lips. “And I’m Boaz.”
I frowned. “Exactly.”
“See, I don’t care how you ended up in his bed. I don’t care that you stayed there all night. I don’t even need to know what happened while you were there, alone with him.”
“You don’t.” I heard the doubt thick in my voice.
“I trust you.” His eyes searched mine. “You would tell me if you wanted out.”
I huffed a frustrated sigh. “You’re barely in.”
Boaz trapped his bottom lip with his upper teeth right over the scar I remembered so well, but it didn’t stop his shoulders from bouncing with laughter. “You have no idea how much restraint I’m showing by keeping this conversation PG.”
“Perv.”
“I’m your perv.”
Unable to resist being amused, I rolled my eyes. “That shouldn’t sound as sweet as it does.”
“I told you,” he said with a wink, “it’s all about proper motivation.”
“Stop distracting me.” I pinched his nipple and relished his yelp. “We need to talk about Taz.”
“No, we don’t.” A grimness settled over his expression. “I cut her loose.”
“You don�
�t get to make that call.” Contrary, yeah, but I hated that he had pulled the trigger without asking me first. “I can continue working with her if I choose.”
“Tell me the truth.” His fingertip skated through the air over my jaw. “Was this the first time she’s hurt you? I don’t mean scratches or bruises from training, I mean damaged you enough to require medical intervention.”
My silence answered for me.
“Taz believes in tough love, and I know you appreciate that, but this is taking things too far.”
“I like her.” That she didn’t pull her punches after hearing my name was a bonus. “She’s taught me a lot.” But facts were facts. “You guys might be right, though. She may be too advanced for me right now.”
“Linus knew?” His derisive snort required no response. “He should have stepped in sooner.”
“I asked him not to interfere.” And guilt had eaten him up on the sidelines. I never should have put him in that situation. “He’s taken care of me…after…but he wasn’t happy about the choices I’ve made.”
“Have you ever stopped to wonder if there’s a reason you let it go so far?” His voice dipped into a lower register. “You should have set her straight after the first time it happened, but you didn’t. Why is that?”
I got a bad feeling about where this was headed. “I thought I could handle it. I was handling it.”
“Are you sure you weren’t taking the punishment because you felt like you deserved it?” Boaz gentled his hold on me. “You internalized so much of what happened to you, it’s become your default to bury what you’re thinking and feeling. I never know what’s going on in that head of yours.” He scanned my face. “Can you look me in the eye and tell me you weren’t using Taz as an outlet?”
A quiver tightened my stomach. “I am not a masochist.”
“Atramentous—”
“No.” I shoved at him. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“That’s the problem.” He captured my wrists. “Are you still confiding in Odette?”
“I’ve been busy.” Guilt if I kept Amelie waiting was driving me home earlier and earlier these days. “I don’t have to schedule weekly therapy sessions.”
How to Break an Undead Heart Page 4