by J. L. Mac
Baby.
In the fog of waking up and trying to figure out what had happened and of course being so damn consumed with Aidan, as usual, I had forgotten about being seven weeks pregnant. I gasped, and tears welled up when I realized that he was trying to tell me something horrible. I began shaking. “No. No! Aidan! Tell me! Tell me now!”
“Kathleen, you lost the baby. The impact of the accident was really rough, your car is totaled, you could have died Kat, and…the…baby, the baby, it was just…the baby is gone.” He hung his head again. I felt an immediate sense of emptiness, and loss. I felt violated beyond words. My eyes welled and spilled over with unstoppable streams of tears. He tried to touch my hand and I withdrew faster than I should have because my body made its protest known with sharp, piercing spears of pain.
“This is your fault. Get out.” My voice was a monotone whisper.
“Kathleen, please…”
Is this man seriously begging me right now? He robbed me of the most precious thing I have ever been given and he wanted to beg me, for what? More? More of what? I have nothing.
“GET OUT.” My clipped tone must have roused his attention because his brows arched up in shock, he had tears in his blue eyes and his mouth hung open as if words failed him, for the first time in his life.
“OUT! NOW!” I bit out my demand with a level of seething fury that I didn’t know even existed. He let out a sigh of resignation.
“I’m so sorry Kathleen. I will be outside if you need me. I won’t leave you here.” His shoulders slumped in defeat.
“I did need you but right now I don’t even know if I want you. Go!” I didn’t even acknowledge my birthday that year. I went home and allowed my physical wounds to heal. I needed Aidan and Cheyenne almost around the clock for everything. If not for my physical wounds, I needed someone to help mend the emotional trauma. I healed, physically.
My twenty-fourth birthday was miserable of course. So was my twenty-fifth birthday. Nothing catastrophic had happened, but I celebrated my with just Cheyenne and two cupcakes. I was lucky to have a best friend who was willing to come to me no matter where I was just like I would for her. Aidan magically had to be out of town on my birthday every year after I lost the baby. I think the memory of tt"> memoryhat day was too much for him to have to face so he tucked tail and ran every year instead. At least this year he d
idn’t have to bother making up some bullshit story about a business trip. I had beaten him to the punch by walking out three weeks before.
Chapter 4
The book thief
Sunday, May 12th, 2013. Day 215 since Aidan.
Cheyenne had been in Dallas less than twenty-four hours, but you would think she lived there her entire life. She blended with the locals with ease and seeing her so happy to be in Dallas was a welcome sight for me. I had been stressed to the max with all the new changes that had taken place in my life. I was relieved of some of my stress when Cheyenne arrived and then relieved of even more when she checked out our new home and absolutely loved it. I was worried that she wouldn’t feel at home in the place I had rented for us but of course she loved the place as much as I did. Our new apartment wasn’t anything outrageously fancy but it was undeniably lovely. Our place was a two bedroom and two bathroom apartment on the 3rd floor which gave us a decent view of the people buzzing around the city streets below us from our balcony. The location was extremely convenient for both of us. The rent on our place was a bit higher simply for the fact that we were on Main St. but being so conveniently placed was well worth it. The location put us in decent proximity to just about everything including the night life.
We both loved our new home and it felt great for both of us to be starting over in a new city. I had lined up three interviews for the following week which gave me just enough time to hop on my flight back to El Paso to meet up with Aidan and our lawyers to tie up loose ends. We had decided to sell our home and split the profit but of course I was required to be in town to sign my name a million different times on a million different legal documents to finalize our divorce and finish up the sale of our home. I was not looking forward to being in the same room with Aidan or the same county for that matter, but I really didn’t have much choice. Seeing him and taking the final steps to sever my life from his was necessary. I was scheduled to be in town to finalize my divorce for three days which gave me plenty of time to accomplish everything including stopping by the tattoo parlor to pick up my sketches. I had called Fred weeks before and asked him to help me out with a tattoo I was planning on getting. He wouldn’t be the one doing the work but as my friend he was more than happy to draw up what I asked for. I would have to locate an excellent artist once I was back in Dallas to take my sketches to. This particular tattoo was very important to me and I would not settle for just any artist.
My flight out was that night, Sunday, May 12th, day 215 since Aidan. I felt it was shit timing having to leave Cheyenne alone when she had only just arrived but there was no avoiding it. I would be returning Wednesday to prepare for the interviews I had scheduled. I had applied for a paralegal position at three different law firms here in Dallas and I was very excited to start work again. I needed the structure and routine that holding a job required. I had been managing my emotions quite well over the past seven months but a new job would ensure that I was be obusy week to week. As a paralegal I was always on the run at work. I was great at my chosen career and aimed to impress my employer. In the past my employers didn’t relish handing out loads of ‘atta girls’ or pats on the back for a job well done but I worked hard and efficiently nonetheless. I had yet to do any research whatsoever on the three firms I sent my resume to. I would just have to scramble to get it all done in time. My first and second interviews were both on the following Monday.
I set out towards the airport. While I was on the road my cell phone chimed alerting me to an incoming text message. I stopped to fill my car with gas and opened the text while I refueled. “Hey babygirl! Need yall’s address so I can send Chey’s birthday flowers. It’s a surprise don’t tell her.” The text was from Emma Rae Walker, Cheyenne’s mom, who is also known as Mama Rae to just about everyone that was young enough to have been her kid. After reading the text I kicked myself for forgetting about Cheyenne’s birthday only a few days away. I couldn’t believe I could forget her twenty-eighth birthday.
Shit!! I’m such a jerk! Crap what am I going to get her?
I texted Mama Rae back and glanced at the clock on the dash. I realized I had a little time to spare before I had to be at the airport so I pulled into a book store knowing just the thing she would love. I was a woman on a mission. The book store was small and quaint which made me worry that they may not have what I was looking for. I hopped out of my Honda after I whipped into a parking space haphazardly. I liked the store. The Place was called Book Ends and it smelled like new books, cookies and coffee which I discovered were complimentary refreshments for patrons.
How nice.
I scanned the small store for the section I needed to be in and found it. The cookbook section was small but promising nonetheless. I knew Cheyenne would love to have ‘Mastering The Art of French Cooking’, 50th Anniversary Edition by Julia Child. I would not have time to order the book online nor would I even if I did have the time because Cheyenne might be tempted to open any packages sent to our apartment. This way I would have her gift with me which ensured that she would not ruin the surprise. I quickly scanned the section for the book and spotted it. I nearly jumped for joy with the prospect of diverting a birthday disaster by forgetting to get my very best friend a great gift. If I had screwed up and not gotten her a gift, she would forgive me of course but I wouldn’t forgive myself. I darted towards to book and noted that it was the only one left.
I’m a lucky lady today!
I snatched the book off the shelf and like the graceful swan that I am I juggled it around like a moron before it fell to the floor with a thud.
Ugh! Geez butter fin
gers!
I went to stoop down to pick up my prize when I noticed a large, masculine, hand complete with long ghe with lraceful looking fingers, swiftly snatch it up off the floor.
I guess there are gentlemen around these days. Pretty fingers? That’s odd.
I stood up from my crouched position and nearly fell back on my ass. The hand, pretty fingers and all belonged to an equally gorgeous man. I mean really gorgeous! Scratch that. He was smoking’ hot.
“I’m sorry. I’m all butter fingers today I guess.” I muttered and felt my cheeks begin to burn so bright they felt sunburned.
“No need to thank me. Thank you for practically tossing this book at me. I have been looking for it.” His voice was a perfect match to his appearance, remarkably sexy. His voice was low and deep and words seemed to slip out of his mouth like satin.
Ugh! Shit! Do I have extra panties readily available in my bag? I may need them thanks to Mr. Sex on legs.
“Oh, um…you have?”
“Yes as a matter of fact it’s a gift for someone special.” His sex appeal and charming personality suddenly took a nose dive for me.
“Oh no. I am buying that book. I only just dropped it. It’s a gift for someone special. Thanks for picking it up for me but I will take that back now. I really have to get going. I’m in a hurry.” I held out my right hand palm up expecting no dispute about the book. He simply gave me a once over, up and down look and then a slow moving arrogant smirk eased across his impossibly handsome face.
“Well, lady, you dropped the book. It was no longer in your possession, I picked it up thereby taking possession of it, so…I’ll be buying this book today. Thanks again for being so…instrumental in finding it for me.” The heated moisture that was mounting in my panties instantly evaporated like water in the Sahara and I narrowed my eyes on his turning body.
“No way mister! Hand it over! I had it first. What kind of person practically steals merchandise from other shopper’s hands? Besides, as you can see it is the last copy on the shelf and I don’t have time to order another one on the internet. Surely you understand right?” He had his back to me at that point but stopped in his tracks and turned back to face me.
“What I understand is possession is nine tenths on the law and I have this book in my possession. Surely you can understand that.” He stood before me with the damned book in his hand smirking at me like he was enjoying this little argument we were having and I just wanted to punch him square in his stunning face for being such an ass. I would have to game plan on the fly.
Ok, fine Chief. You want to be like that? Time to try my hand at charming female persuasion. This could work. Ityouuld wor needs to work.
I stifled my unpleasant mood and plastered the best smile I could muster up on my face. “Listen, um…”
He crossed his arms across his clearly muscular chest with the book safely tucked under his left arm.
“Ben.” His tone indicated that he was less than impressed with my ploy and clearly saw right through what I was working at. I proceeded anyway.
“Ok. Ben. My name is Kat…”
“As in the animal?” He interjected.
“Um, no. As in Kathleen, Ben.” Now he had a smug look on his face like he was thoroughly pleased with the banter between us.
Alright jerk-wad. Keep it up and I’m going to snatch that book from under your arm and bolt for the cashier.
I held out my hand to him to shake. He looked down at my extended hand before him and quirked up and eyebrow to go along with his smug grin. He waited a moment too long to extend his own hand which I assume was to add insult to injury.
Nice! This guy just oozes chivalry.
“Nice to meet you Ben. Like I was saying my name is Kat. Surely I can convince you to hand over that book. I really need it. It’s kind of an emergency.” He crossed his arms over his chest again, and leaned one muscle capped shoulder against the wall with ankles crossed. Clearly he was getting comfortable for the show I was putting on.
Asshole!
“It’s highly doubtful that purchasing a book is some kind of emergency Kathleen.”
“No. It’s just Kat. K.A.T!!” I said impatiently.
“My apologies, Kathleen.” was his response to my clarification of my preferred name which he followed up with a simple arrogant smirk and nod. He was positively infuriating and purely male goodness.
What the fuck, guy?
“I’m sorry to say you’re going to have to do better than that since I too, need this book.”
You have GOT to be kidding me!
“Well, Ben, I don’t know what to tell you. It’s my best friend’s birthday soon and I am to be out of town for a few days and won’t have time agt have to comb the city for this particular book, and as I said before, I won’t have time to order one with shipping and all it would take days. I would appreciate your understanding.” He scoffed at my plea. An audible, rude as hell, scoff.
Oh this just keeps getting better and if I keep dancing in circles with this tool bag I’m going to miss my flight. Just what I need.
“Hey! Don’t act like that! I am new to this city and I don’t know my way around enough to be stopping by one bookstore after another.”
To hell with my female persuasion. I’m going to let this joker have a piece of my mind. I may not get to buy the damned book but verbally assaulting this guy will definitely make me feel better.
He stood there unmoved and still leaning against the wall as casual as can be. A glimpse of my old self peeked through the veil and made her presence known and I was glad for it.
“You know what? Take the damn book! You’re practically a thief. Have a shit day jerk!” I waltzed past him making sure to shoulder swipe him as I went.
“Pleasure meeting you, Kathleen.” He tossed over his shoulder at me while I stomped away at a steady pace.
“Piss off, Ben!” I tossed back, earning me a few stares. I heard him chuckle, clearly pleased with himself.
Shit! What now?
I stomped out of the store and continued on my way to the airport, empty handed. I parked my car in the lot that charges you an ungodly amount per day and trudged into the airport. I made it in the nick of time and scurried to my gate. Once I was on board I plopped down in my seat and couldn’t get Ben out of my head.
What a total arrogant ass but boy was he incredibly handsome. Last thing I needed was another arrogant, smug, uber handsome man in my life! I just off loaded one of those and he did a crack job at screwing up my life. Perhaps I should just date moderately handsome men.
I chuckled at myself for that bright idea.
News flash Kat! Jackasses come in all shapes, sizes, and varying degrees of attractiveness. I must be the most self-destructive person I know. Did I have a sign on my back that says ‘hey come screw with my head and mess things up for me…I love that shit.’
Still, after scolding myself for swooning over Ben’s looks I couldn’t help but think about him. I squirmed in my seat a bit while I mentally catalogued his features head to toe. He had on jeans that had a great worn look to them like I usually buy. A snug fitting gray V-neck tee which also looked vintage or maybe he has simply worn it a lot. He had black boots on his feet. I got an up close look at those when I was crouched on the damn floor at trying to pick up ththeo pick e book. He smelled great too although we were not exactly close enough for me to get a great big whiff of him.
I know he was a couple inches over six feet tall simply because I am 5’4” and he towered over me like Aidan use to and I know for a fact that Aidan is 6’4”. His hair was a chocolate brown and shiny. It reminded me of hot fudge. His hair was about finger length I guess and wavy. It had no particular style to it.
I bet he just runs his hands through it to ‘style it’. Bet he doesn’t even own a comb.
I snickered a bit at my preposterous assumption about him not owning a comb. Everyone owns at least some type of comb or brush unless you’re bald or something.
Just then I
got a visual of the exact opposite. I pictured Mr. Arrogant sitting in front of a girly vanity combing his beautiful locks of wavy finger length hair over and over like a lady. I let out a full laugh at the ridiculous thought. It earned me a few perplexed looks from a couple of other passengers. One was from a “grown ass teenager” of course.
I shot the lady a huge smile that was saturated with pure cattiness to which her response was an eye roll and a quick turn away from me.
Yeah that’s right lady keep your butt planted in your floatation device in case of an unexpected water landing.
I chuckled again. My thoughts came back to Ben. I found myself pressing my thighs together and squirming a bit.
I needed to get laid soon. Getting all hot and bothered over some random guy who turned out to be a total tool bag was unacceptable. Sex. Yes, sex would remedy this problem. With who though? Hmmm. I’ll come back to that one. Although, what I would give to see what’s under Ben’s clothes.
I could tell by looking at him he had a great body. I was sure of it. Even through clothes that was obvious. His arms were muscular. Very muscular. So were his legs. His jeans fit somewhat snug across his thighs, so of course that means he has great legs.
Washboard abs are a given then.
His lips were full and what I saw of his teeth through that smug smile of his were beautiful, straight and white. Clearly the product of excellent dental care. He had a bit of a facial hair. I assumed it was due to simply not shaving for a day or two. It looked great on him though. His nose was proportionate to the rest of his features. The best part though, the best part was his eyes. He had stunning eyes. They were a sort of blue-green hue rimmed with a deep sapphire blue. Simply stunning.
No wonder I’m squirming in my seat! Oh well, thanks for the daydream Ben you book thief!
Chapter 5
A thrill and a half
After arriving in El Paso, I met with Aidan and our lawyers the following day. Monday, May 13th, 2013. Day 216 since Aidan. Last time I laid eyes on him he looked miserable. I felt a bit sympathetic for him. He single handedly dismantled our relationship. We had so much potential, and we were happy and in love at one point. Then, he became his own worst enemy. I know he will never forgive himself for the role he played in my car accident. I blamed him pretty ruthlessly right away. I felt his behavior was the catalyst that caused me to drive away from our home that night and straight into life altering tragedy. We don’t speak about the child we lost. In fact, the entire incident was swept under the rug and ignored by both of us. Some things were simply too painful to confront.