by J. L. Mac
Chapter 11
Tit for tat
I grumpily walked towards Ben’s office. I had already had a morning full of unwelcome difficulties, and I just needed to cross one thing off my list of frustrations before one more problem bombarded me and sent my patience toppling over the edge. The problem I needed to sort was Ben. At times, he seemed interested in me at least in a very basic animal instinct, physical kind of way.
Wishful thinking, Kat, especially from a woman who is desperate to get laid. Preferably by Mr. Sex on legs.
I couldn’t afford for what was going on between us to turn into anything. I needed the new job. I needed stability and routine. I needed to focus on getting myself together. Ben was a distraction from those tasks, and he spelled out trouble in capital letters. He was quiet one moment then firm and authoritative the next. He had me so confused and disoriented that I could not tell up from down. I had a suspicion that maybe Ben enjoyed the taunting mind fuck game of his. I had my panties in a twist since the interview.
Sort this out before your head explodes. No more mixed signals, gray areas or unclear boundaries. Handle it!
I walked right past Olivia who said nothing to me. She only stared at me with shock and confusion written across her face. I hesitated for a moment, trying to think better of what I was doing. My repressed inner Kat would have been far more useful in this situation. If I could have just wrangled in my inner self, I wouldn’t even hesitate. I would have walked with confidence right into his personal office showing not an iota of worry. I would be able to dawn a poker face lightning quick, that was capable of bluffing anyone, or flip a switch to turn on irresistible feminine charm. Both were tools that I once used and knew exactly how and when to employ them. I would be able to tamp down all inconvenient emotion and withstand a vicious verbal assault without so much as a flinch or frown. I would have demanded respect and courtesy from everyone around me on merits of competence and smarts alone. Anyone who tested me would quickly be made fully aware of my no nonsense approach and lack of patience. Simply put, I would not have taken any shit from anyone.
Not even Mr fe.
I remained his over bullied, ‘glorified gopher’ until he took a position at another firm. I wished things could be just like before. Before my spirit was backed into a dark corner and locked away to be forgotten.
I gave Ben’s office door a halfhearted knock before just walking right in. Oh, very ballsy Kat, is what the brave part of me cheered in my head. Ben stood before one of the three windows holding a coffee cup in his hand, staring out at the city below. When he heard the door to his office open, interrupting his private moment, he turned to face the intruder, me. I stood for a moment not saying anything to him. I was scowling and breathing rapidly courtesy of the adrenaline rush I had been riding for the past fifteen minutes. We locked eyes, and his surprised expression smoothed into…was that…delight?
This guy is getting a kick out of seeing me pissed after I barge into his office uninvited, on my first day working for him no less?
Just seeing that smug expression that was a mix of pleased and amused only angered me further. I broke the silence first while still wishing that just for a moment I could conjure my former self to handle Ben. In a sarcastic voice I asked Ben a question that came out sounding more like a desperate plea.
“Please tell me that it is illegal somewhere for a person who smells so badly to walk around offending others nostrils with their weapon of choice” I stared across the room at him and waited impatiently for a response.
“Good morning, Kathleen. Please, do come in.”
No head games today!
I decided that maybe I could give him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe that would teach him about playing his hot and cold game. Maybe I could affect his rational thinking by jumbling his brain with thoughts of me. Then he would be the o koulying ne who can’t think clearly, or sleep, or doing anything for that matter without having to deal with distracting thoughts. If this worked out and I saw that my plot to arouse had been successful, I would simply flip the switch back to professional and feign ignorance. If my little ploy to arouse him didn’t work, it could seriously backfire. I wondered for a moment if maybe the intrusive scent in the elevator somehow soaked into my own clothing due to my proximity to the woman.
Ah, screw it!
With my inner self on board and cheering me on, my courage was re-enforced and I marched directly across the room and stepped right into Ben’s personal space. I was facing the windows, and Ben was now standing with his back to the city below. I stood slightly off center in front of him looking straight ahead. If I had leaned forward, I could rest my head on his right pectoral. It was a tantalizing thought that I quickly pushed aside so I could focus on ridding myself of the amateurish crushing girl I was being nonsense. I needed my level head back and to stop with the wet dreams starring Ben. If I could not manage to set a clear boundary, being his employee would not have a chance in hell at working. Despite him being an overly confident, self-absorbed, pushy lawyer, I couldn’t resist the attraction to him. It seemed to be beyond my control. It was animal instinct at its finest.
Female seeks alpha male, even if he does bite.
I kept my eyes straight forward and did a damn good job of acting all kinds of confident and unaffected by my close proximity to Ben’s handsome, hard body. A moment after I stepped into his personal space, my nose was inundated with Ben’s masculine, panty dissolving scent, effectively ridding me of the leftover scent from the elevator.
Thank Jesus! Oh he smells perfect.
It suddenly became a bit harder to keep my eyes straight ahead, and my impassive façade intact. My knees weakened and arousal began gathering between my trembling thighs. I could see Ben in my peripheral vision, and I knew he was openly looking at my face. Chill bumps spread like a fierce wild fire across the surface of my skin. I couldn’t tell if Ben noticed or not. I hoped that he didn’t. He leaned slightly to his left and deposited his coffee cup onto an end table. Then it was his turn to break our intense silence, and boy, he didn’t just break the silence, he shattered it into a million pieces along with my stupid ploy and formerly bolstered, but newly absent, courage. Apparently, once Ben spoke, my smart mouthed inner Kat disappeared in a hurry. His voice came out low and rough, each syllable that rolled off his tongue seemed to stroke me internally causing my stomach to flip and flutter wildly.
“Kathleen, am I the one to thank for these chill bumps, all over your skin or did something else do this for you?” As he spoke to me, he lifted his right hand and lightly brushed the backs of his long fingers down my right upper arm then swirled a light circle around my elbow and continued down the sensitive inner skin of my forearm, skating across my flesh with barely-there strokes from his nimble fingers.
I kept my eyes cast away from his. I seemed incapable of looking directly into his eyes. I felt as if looking straight into those glowing depths of vivid blue would cause me to be swallowed up whole and pulled beneath the surface to blissfully drown in him. The fierce sexual energy that permeated the air around Ben made it difficult to breathe and it intimidated me. I chose not to answer him. Or perhaps I couldn’t answer him.
“Kathleen, look at me.” His commanding tone and presence was hard to challenge even from a distance and far more grueling a task within such close quarters. I could smell him, I could feel the warmth from his body radiating outward, and I could clearly hear each breath he drew from the space between us and pulled down to fill his lungs. I felt a powerful crimson, heated blush roll through my veins. It coursed throughout my body leaving evidence of my arousal in its wake. My skin heated, and my neck and cheeks flushed into a hot red. I realized that I was helplessly adrift in a sea of desire and arousal and battling the current, would be useless. I could either embrace the journey along the formidable pull of the current or I could fight in vain against mother-nature knowing that undoubtedly I would lose.
“Look at me. Answer my question.” I lifted my
eyes from the floor but still avoided his stare.
He extended his long index finger and placed the pad of it beneath my chin and encouraged my head to tilt back, forcing my eyes to meet his. The moment we locked eyes my breathing halted, and I felt my stomach flip and flutter all over again with a heightened need that exceeded any feeling I had experienced before it, ever. I battled against myself for composure, so that I could finally answer him. I had not the faintest idea of what I would say, but I knew I needed to say something. My eyes darted around a bit, and he released my jaw, giving me an opportunity to speak.
Tit for tat, I thought.
“You never answered my own question, Mr. Chase.” I made a point to emphasize his name in hopes that sounding more like his employee would bring a halt to his request for an answer. I was hoping we could end this torturous little tango that had me tied up in knots.
No, Kat. You wish Ben had you tied up. He hasn’t done it, yet.
And with that sarcastic little jab to my sex life (or lack thereof), the inner Kat sauntered back into my head as if she had merely stepped away for a moment, but didn’t go too far.
Chapter 12
And cue crazy
My eyes slid directly back to Ben’s looking for a reaction. I certainly didn’t expect him to attempt to answer the ridiculous question I had begun this little meeting with. I was high on adrenaline and extremely agitated with my morning when I barged in spouting off at the mouth.
Ben narrowed his eyes slightly as soon as he heard the embellished way I called him by his last name. Then his eyes focused on my left hand. Quite unbelievably, my left hand still held tightly to the damned lidless coffee cup that held half coffee, half of a eighty GB iPod.
I followed his eyes and half glanced at my own hand which didn’t feel like it belonged to me. Actually, my whole body was out of sorts thanks to Ben. I was a combination of heat, blush, numbness, tingling, and excited flutters. I stepped back from him and made my best effort to appear calm and collected. He arched an eyebrow and motioned his right hand outward, pointing lazily at the stupid cup in my hand. He opened his mouth to speak but I beat him to it.
“No lid!” I nearly shouted at him.
Talk first.
I spoke first, a whole two words that came out in a clipped half shout. The moment I heard myself I looked down at the carpet and made my best effort to stifle the embarrassed feeling that flooded me.
“How did an iPod end up in your cup? More importantly why are you still holding the cup? Plan on drinking the coffee still?” Ben began chuckling half way through his last question.
I peeked up at him just a fraction, and he had repositioned his stance. He casually stuffed his hands into the pockets of what I could easily identify as Armani dress pants thanks to Aidan’s own collection of expensive Armani suits.
What the hell was it with successful men and Armani?
Evidently he was getting more comfortable for the show I was providing the exact way he did at Book Ends.
I knew he would act like this, I thought while I tried to allow myself a moment to plan what I should say. My neck tightened, and I whipped my head into its rightful place, high above my tense shoulders.
“I said no lid. I couldn’t find my travel mug, so I used this disposable one but couldn’t find the lid to this one either, and, well… there was this crater in the street, and my iPod went flying right into the cup. I didn’t have any napkins to clean up this mess, so I just brought it with me.” I glanced up at him sheepishly. I was utterly embarrassed with my loony sounding explanation and r sanaan idiculous intrusion into his office. He stood before me with his head cocked slightly to the side and a vague glimmer of sympathy shown in his intense eyes. I continued to explain my insane outburst. “Then there was that woman. In the elevator. I never-I mean, the smell! Maybe I’m neurotic due to sleep deprivation. I apologize Mr. Chase. I don’t know what my problem is today.”
The problem is my extreme attraction to you, and your hot then cold head games.
I slumped my shoulders in shame and nibbled on my lip nervously. I peered at Ben who remained in the same position. His hands in his pockets, and his head slightly cocked to the side as if he were trying to see past my words right into my brain. He straightened his shoulders and righted his posture before he spoke.
“You met Louise. That’s her name. She has worked in this building for a long time. And yes, she has an odd perfume but I don’t think anyone has the nerve to say anything to her because she is too nice to everyone.” I was relieved that it wasn’t just me imagining things in the elevator.
“Well, she wasn’t pleasant with me. She stared at me with this perplexed look. It was awkward and just…bad manners! I was flustered and breathing fast because I was so rushed and that crater I ran my car through. It was just a coffee cup that happens to have an iPod in it, and as for my dress, it’s a few coffee stains. No big deal. She didn’t have to openly gawk at me the entire way up here.” After I stopped rambling, I placed my right hand on my hip and observed Ben looking me over, head to toe. His gaze lingered for a long moment when his eyes arrived at the skirt of my dress where the dark coffee stains were.
“Come here.” His voice was husky and dominating. Much to my surprise my legs carried me closer to him immediately. I was agitated at my treasonous body. My brain shouted ‘hell no’. My body purred ‘yes please’. His eyes burned through me. His warm hand slid across my forearm and took the cup I was still clutching. He placed it with his abandoned coffee cup and turned back to me. My body was on fire and in need. Desperate need. I had not had sex in months and was teased by Ben since we had met. He was a delicious temptation that dangled in front of me tempting me to indulge. Heat gathered in my core and I shifted my thighs to alleviate the ache that was steadily growing there. His muscular arm wrapped around my waist and swiftly jerked my body to him.
I collided with the firm wall of his muscular body and gasped. Goosebumps once again spread across my skin. Ben lowered his head to mine. His clean shaven jaw rubbed lightly against my cheek, from where we were pressed check-to-cheek.
“I give you chills. You respond to me like I respond to you.” As he whispered in my ear, he ground his hips into mine, making the rock solid bulge in his pants known. I clamped my lips together to hold back the moan that nearly slipped out. Before I knew what was happening, Ben had spun me around and backed me up to his desk. He lifted me easily and sat me on the edge of the cool dark wood.
Oh please!
I struggled for words but couldn’t decide what my inner plea was for. More? To stop? Ben was panting with need just as I was. He nudged my legs open with his thigh, and I opened to welcome him. He gripped me hard around my waist and pressed my pulsing center against his bulging erection. The cloth between us was unwelcome, and Ben quickly hiked my dress up around my waist. His voice cut through my defenses leaving only my need for him. My breath stalled in my throat. My heart pounded in my chest. Ben dug his fingers into the slick bun I had styled my hair into. His fingers tangled into my auburn hair, and he tugged my head back to give him access. His mouth attacked my neck hungrily. His soft lips kissed and drifted across my neck up to the sensitive spot behind my ear.
“Oh Ben,” I mumbled. He released an approving growl and feasted on my neck with vigor. The arm around my waist fell away, and his hot hand slid up my inner thigh to my needy center. I moaned and didn’t bother trying to hide it. His hand cupped me through my drenched panties. My arousal became unbearable. I writhed in his grip silently begging for more. His hand between my thighs slid up and down my center teasingly, while his mouth remained at my neck, kissing and licking my skin hungrily. His other hand stayed tangled in my hair keeping me immobile. One deft finger slid under the small bit of cloth cloaking my ready opening.
“You’re so wet.” He growled into my ear. His mouth left my neck and his eyes landed back on mine. He was watching the effect he had on me play out. His fingers worked expertly over my pulsing clitoris and my
eyes shut and rolled back as a desperate pleading moan tore from my throat.
Please!
“Open them.” He demanded, and I complied like the perfect little submissive. My vacant channel clenched at nothing and ached to be filled. Ben slid two fingers into my begging body and began working me to climax. His eyes stayed on me. He watched every move I made. He took in every reaction I had to him. I bucked beneath him. My hips rolled towards his wanting more of him. My pleading went unacknowledged while he remained in place using his fingers to work me over with the utmost finesse and skill. A delicious tightening clenched in my stomach and my breathing became even more erratic.
“Oh, Ben,” I whimpered again as my eyes slid closed.
“Look at me,” he rumbled. When my eyes came back to his, I blew apart under his grip as a painfully exquisite orgasm surged through my body. I quaked and trembled and reveled in the euphoria that overtook me. Ben withdrew his fingers from my body and raised them to his lips. I watched with a twinge of horror but predominantly wild desire as he licked one finger clean. A gratifying sigh emanated from low in his chest.