by J. L. Mac
He stood in the middle of the room silently watching me wander through the room that housed his passion, taking in his amazing work. I paused.
“The photo above your fireplace. You did that,” I said with my back to him.
“Yes.”
“It’s enchanting. I wish I could have been there with you.” Words fell from my lips uninhibited by my fears. Ben crossed the room and pressed his front to my back as his arms coiled around me. He leaned in close to my ear.
“I wish you had been with me too.” I turned in his arms to face him.
“All of this is amazing Ben.” He smiled marginally and shrugged.
“Where were all of these taken?” I asked while motioning my arms outward.
“Mostly all over California. It’s really all I did in my spare time while I was at Stanford. I use to drive all over until something drew me in. No one except Trev knows about it.” His voice sounded a bit defeated and I felt sorry for him.
“Why wouldn’t you share this with everyone? You’re talented. These photos are amazing. This room is amazing. It’s a gallery in its own right.”
“I just don’t show my photos to anyone. I have enough to deal with. My family expects a lot of me and I intend to live up to those expectations. Chasing some crazy dream of being a photographer is not in the cards for me.” With that explanation his arms fell from me and he turned away. He was putting up a wall of defense to dissuade me from pushing the issue and warn me perhaps?
Fine, we will do this your way. For now.
There would be no way I could let this go. It was obvious that he loved photography but refused to pursue it or even share with others e wibri">because of his reputation and obligations. I had to find a way to convince him that he could fit in his hobby and his career and no one would think less of him for being so artistic. He could have been a circus clown and it would not change how much of a court room shark he was. I pulled him back to me by his forearm. He wrapped his arms around my waist.
“Well, thank you for sharing with me. I love it.” My words were honest and I hoped he took them to heart.
For the remainder of the day we spent quiet time together most of which was enjoyed in Bens bed. He was a magnificent lover and I simply could not get enough of him. His blue green eyes blazed through my body any time they landed on me. His scent was intoxicating when he came near me and his skin was warm and consuming when he touched me. I was fully and irrevocably addicted to all things Benjamin Chase.
Monday, July, 1st, 2013. Day Forty since I started at the firm.
I managed to convince Ben to take me home the night before. He didn’t fight me much on the issue, largely due to the fact that I didn’t ask. I flat out insisted on going home to smooth things over with Cheyenne. Allowing any issues between us to simmer didn’t sit well with me. I came home to a grumpy best friend but managed to cheer her up with an offering of cheesecake and her favorite wine. I apologized and promised not to push, pry, or meddle. She smiled with a mouth full of cheesecake signaling the all clear and a truce was formed. I would have bought a case of those cheesecakes, stock in the wine, and apologized until I was blue in the face as long as I got to see the tension slip from her features as a bright smile took its place. All was once again, well on the home front.
Ben made it a point to make things relaxed between us at work while remaining discreet. Throughout the morning he would shoot me a smile or wink when no one was looking. I had been worried about the newspaper article with our photo from the ball, but no one mentioned it. I dismissed the uneasy feeling that came over me the moment I got to work. I feared I was being watched. Had I paid closer attention I would have realized that my fear was warranted. I ignored my nerves, the photo, and my unease. At lunch that day as I sat beside Ben at our usual place in his office, I worked up the courage to ask a question that had been nagging at me. He seemed to be in a great mood.
Thanks to me.
I debated on how to ask for a moment then decided to just go for quick and blunt. “How are you so wealthy? Surely not all your wealth is from the firm.”
Without looking at me, he quirked up his eyebrows then relaxed them again. He spoke without looking in my direction. I admired his handsome profile as he spoke. “High yield investments. I took risks. They have paid off generously, and in case you haven’t noticed, I don’t run some little firm.” His lips twitched a bit at his own sarcasm.
Hmmm smartass!
<
“What kind of investments?”
He finished his lunch and cleaned up his area. “The risky kind that either make a man a wealthy genius, or a bankrupt fool. I’m the former.”
No specifics. Of course.
He glanced down at his expensive watch and continued. “But, at the moment, I am about to be a very lucky man for entirely different reasons that have nothing to do with money.” He turned to me, and I knew I was in trouble.
“Oh, is that so?” I teased.
“Fact,” he affirmed.
Then Ben took me on the couch in his office, hard and fast, but still not lacking one bit of pure passion. I was so addicted. That evening just before I was preparing to leave work, I wandered into Ben’s office through his open door. All the staff had already left for the day, and I was finishing up some work. When I strolled into his office, he was standing near his windows with his back to me. He was on speaker phone with someone, though I had not the slightest idea who.
“I’m not sure about him, hon. I thought I ought to let you look into it first. I’ve invested quite a bit, and I spoke to him about getting out. But, I ain’t seen a hot red cent of my money from that man. That John Murray is up to no good. I can smell it.” The voice of what was obviously an older woman with a southern drawl came through the speaker on Ben’s desk loud and clear. She may have sounded like an older woman but was no more mild tempered than a cobra.
John Murray? Who is he?
I thought to myself. “I’ve met him before Sheryl, and I have heard whispers of illegal dealings he has his hands in. I will see what I can confirm though. Until then, keep things quiet, and don’t mention this issue to anyone else. I mean it, Mrs. Stratton. Not a soul. I will call you once I have more information.” Ben’s tone was low and intimidating. Something had him on edge, I could tell. I wasn’t sure who this John Murray was or what was going on with Sheryl Stratton, but I took mental notes of that phone call and decided to look into the issue if for no more reason than to appease my curiosity.
Damn curiosity!
Like they say, curiosity killed the cat. I later found out that sticking my nose into John Murray’s business would put me into the position of the proverbial cat. The call ended, and Ben turned towards me. I decided to play out my bluff.
“New client?” I asked knowing full well that that phone call was not with a client. It was personal. Ben casually walked back to his desk.
“No. Family friend asking a favor.”
“Oh. Okay. Need my help?”
Ben raised his head from the papers on his desk, and his blue green eyes took on a menacing look. “No. I won’t need your help in his matter and you will not get involved. Understand?”
“Uh, sure. Yeah. Well, anyway, I am headed home.” I turned to exit Ben’s office before he could burn a deeper hole in me with those eyes of his.
“Kathleen.” I stopped and turned to face him.
“Yes.”
“Join me for dinner?”
Yes! I squealed inwardly.
“What did you have planned?” Inside I was excited to spend private time with Ben but I managed to pull off a cool exterior. Ben’s lips turned up into a grin.
“Dinner. I will pick you up in, say, an hour.”
“Okay, Ben.” I smiled shyly and strutted out of his office, then all but skipped like a school girl to my car. I was thoroughly enjoying my new job, more specifically, my new boss and lover. Ben arrived at my house on time as always. The moment I opened the apartment door to him he waltzed r
ight past me.
“Uh, come on in Ben, please,” I said with as much petulance as I could muster.
“Which room is yours?” His pointed question was his only response to my sarcasm.
“My room?” I asked as I sashayed past him heading towards my private space. Ben followed without answering my rhetorical question. Once he crossed the threshold of my bedroom, he surveyed my space quickly and immediately went to my closet.
“Hey!” I cried out standing by my bed. “What in the world are you doing?”
“Packing your bag.” His voice was flat and his eyes never came to mine. He was so handsome walking with authority in the clothes he wore to work. Navy blue suit that fit him flawlessly. Crisp white shirt with a deep red tie that he had since rid himself of. A few of the top buttons of his shirt were undone showing a bit of skin that I instantly wanted to put my mouth on.
“Ben!” He kept moving through my room, throwing clothes and other random things into a small bag he found in my closet.
“You’re staying the night with me.”
“I am not! You didn’t even bother asking me.” I crossed my arms over my chest indignantly and scowled.
“Why bother asking? You would surely refuse even though I know you want to be in my bed as bad I want you there. So, I went around the problem. I’m taking you home with me. My home.”
Oh my.
“Damn you Ben! You can’t just…just do… that!” I flung my hand outward towards the whole of him. He stopped, and his heated eyes landed on me lighting my body on fire. My stomach stirred down low and my breathing stuttered. He dropped the bag in his hand and stalked toward me. He gripped my hips, turned my body and pushed me flush against the wall. His lips were millimeters from mine. He gathered my hands in his, pulled them above my head and pinned my wrists against the wall. His solid body held mine. “I have to look at your sweet ass all day at work knowing exactly what’s under those clothes. Hours of teasing. Every time you walk in or out of my office, you tease me. Your perfume teases me. All of you teases me. Devouring you all night is the only way to survive not having you all day. You’re coming home with me,” he growled seductively. My stomach flipped. “I take what’s mine. I do what I want with what’s mine and this…” He grasped my wrists with one of his large hands freeing up the other. His free hand went between my thighs and cupped my already aroused center. “…is mine. You said it yourself, Kathleen. Don’t you remember? Or perhaps you need to be reminded.”
“I-I…was under duress. That’s not fair,” I murmured breathlessly while his hand began making slow enticing movements between my thighs.
“I would hardly call multiple orgasms during exquisite sex duress, Kathleen.” He smirked arro
gantly.
“You want me in your bed? Bad?” I asked. Bens only response was a subtle chuckle and a slight shake of his head. Then he released me. My arms fell to my side, and my legs wobbled slightly.
Damn he’s good!
I had to admit, if what he did to me was in fact, duress, I didn’t mind being under duress. All. The. Time.
“You already have things at my house and if you need anything else, I’ll buy it. Let’s go.” His hand swept mine from my side and tugged my pliant body forward, towards the door. Just like that, I was off to Ben’s house, again.
Chapter 18
Lonely lover
“This is delicious!” I exclaimed dramatically while forking another bite of Ben’s shrimp scampi into my mouth.
“I’m glad you like it.”
“Like it is an understatement. This is great. Who knew Benjamin chase, legal extraordinaire, sex god, and talented photographer was also a whiz in the kitchen?” I smiled and winked at Ben flirtatiously.
“Who knew?” He shrugged.
“So, Ben, where do you see yourself in five years? I know, very original.”
“Ah, well, I’d like to think that in five years, my love life won’t be as void as it has been most of my adult life,” He muttered the last bit.
Poor, Ben. He’s lonely.
“You’re lonely,” I stated quietly. “You have so much. You are so successful. Yet you are possibly the loneliest man I know.” I thought aloud sounding more quizzical than I anticipated.
“I suppose you are right.” Ben’s voice was melancholy and defeated. He sat across from me with his shoulders slightly slumped and his head down. He was the most lonely man I knew and I wanted to kick myself for asking the question that led to the turn in his mood from lighthearted to sullen. My heart began aching more for him than for myself and all my loss and misery. My misery took a backseat to more readily accommodate the lonely man before me.
It was confirmed. Ben had more depth than I knew and I had it bad for him. Far worse than I dared to admit. There was much more to this man than appearances let on. He was strong and demanding. Arrogant and sure of himself. He was also artistic and meditative, and to my dismay, he was a sad man. It couldn’t be any clearer to me that Ben was a man with many sides. I slid my chair from the table, and began towards my lonely lover, intent on changing that. Once I made it to his side he pushed back from the table and I slid into his lap. I grasped his muscular shoulder with one hand and lightly cupped his angular jaw with my other hand.
“You’re lonely Ben.” I leaned in and kissed him gently then sat back to look at him. “But you won’t be tonight. Tonight I’m yours. Take me to bed,” I whispered against his cheek as the stubble on his jaw lightly scratched across my face. As graceful as could be, Ben slipped his arms beneath my knees and around my back before he lifted me easily and began striding towards his room. He sat me on his plush bed and stood back. He stared at me for a moment for reasons unknown to me. He had a curious look on his face.
“Don’t just stand there. Come here,” I demanded. He walked slowly over to me, propped on the side of his bed, feet dangling. I hooked my fingers into thengemes belt loops of his pants and pulled him forward between my knees. He said nothing while allowing my hands to roam his body freely. I knew what I had in mind was far more intimate than I should have allowed considering I needed things with Ben to remain physical despite my growing affection for him. But, I couldn’t refuse. I was compelled to help him. To fix him. To repair the broken bits of the lonely man I met at the dinner table not ten minutes before.
Make it better. Fix him. Make him happy.
I told myself. Then, I threw caution to the wind and exposed myself to Ben and not just physically. I let him in. Not for me, for him. There we were. The lonely and the damaged giving each other the best of what we had to give in hopes that it would be enough. Even if just barely, it would have to be enough.
“What are you doing to me, Kathleen?” he muttered.
“Probably the same thing you do to me.” I whispered back. I looked into his beautiful eyes and wished I could lose myself in them every second of everyday. Before I knew it, I had rid Ben of his clothing and began working on my own. He stood there, motionless, allowing me to take charge. I moved further back onto his bed and pulled his hand to join me. Once he was lying on his back, waiting for me, I straddled him and lowered my mouth to his. I led the kiss. I was sure to do my best to convey my feelings through the kiss I was sharing with him.
Not alone.
Was the only thought that went through my head as I kissed him with everything I had. I wasn’t sure who I was reassuring, Ben, or me. He wasn’t alone. Neither was I. Together, we had each other and I realized in that moment in his bed, above him, it was far more than enough. I gripped his erection in my hand and looked him in the eyes.
“Trust me?” I asked breathily. He nodded.
“Trust me?” He countered, and without further thought I answered his question by sheathing his bare erection with my body rather than a condom. I took him into my body, and we were as close as two people could get. I sucked in air as the feeling of Ben’s bare flesh filled me so completely. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, and his fingers dug into my hips pulling
me down harder, to bury himself further. I lay forward, resting my bare chest against his and began to rock my hips gently over his, building both of our pleasure with each slow stroke. One of Ben’s hands left my hip and tangled into my hair.
“I’ve never…Kathleen, you feel so good.”
“I’m all yours tonight, baby. Feel me,” I said into his ear. Ben groaned.
“Say you’ll stay.” The desperation that was so obvious in his voice pulled at my heart and I could not imagine ever leaving him alone.