“No, I have not…”
“Then don’t turn me down flat. I promise to keep my word.”
That was all she could ask for.
Gavin escorted Emily inside from the balcony after the final waltz. Many of Carlisle’s guests had already deserted the ballroom. Most would leave in the morning, returning to their estates or possibly to London for the upcoming Season. With a brief ‘goodnight’ to Emily and the Porters, the earl excused himself and strolled back outside to puff on a last cheroot. He stood there silently musing about his unsatisfactory conversation with Emily although she had agreed to accompany him to Oxfordshire. They would collect Lilianne and her maid there and return to Fielding House in Mayfair.
* * * *
Saying goodnight to the Porters, Emily entered her room and stood gazing out a window at the star-studded sky. She knew the earl wasn’t happy hearing her answer. She had watched disappointment flash in his dark eyes. But she hadn’t refused not to wed him. Even though she believed she had fallen in love with the man who taught her senses to quiver with delightful anticipation, Leathem never told her what he felt, spoke no love words, no loving sentiments that she could clasp tight to her chest. Her mother once cautioned her never to give her heart away too soon. But how could she not after what he did for her in Kent?
Emily had much to think about. She spun away from the moonlit window when Betsy tapped on her door and ducked inside. “I packed your things whilst you was at the ball, Miss Emily. I’ll finish the rest t’morrow when we’re ready to leave.”
“Betsy, I can undress myself if you will undo the back of my gown. I’m wide awake and I won’t fall sleep yet. And I want you to know that I’ll be leaving with the earl tomorrow and not with you and the Porters,” Emily said without any explanation. “So, go to bed now, Betsy, but be sure to wake me no later than eight o’clock, hmm? Leathem wants to leave early, and I want to be ready to go with him. I’ll speak with Lady Wilma in the morning about my change in plans when I see her.”
“Aye, then. G’night and sleep well, Miss Emily.” The sleepy-eyed maid left and shut the door to the hall. Soon a second tap sounded this time, on the portal between the two bedchambers. Of course, it was Wilma. “Are you still awake, Emmie? May I come in?”
“Yes, do come in.” Emily turned toward Wilma who had already donned nightclothes. “Tell me quickly before I burst my seams. What happened with you and Leathem? What did he say? Did you agree to his proposal?”
“Oh, Willy, I’m such a ninny. When he danced me onto the balcony again, I still hadn’t decided. I promised I’d tell him after the last waltz. Oh dear, I felt dreadful being so wishy-washy.” Emily’s worried eyes met her friend’s eager ones but she sniffed, and said in a shaky voice, “No, Willy. I didn’t agree to wed him. What I told him was that I would return to London with him and Lilianne for the remainder of the Season.”
Wilma’s arched eyebrows rose high on her forehead wrinkled by disappointment.
Emily lifted a hand, not letting Wilma argue. “I’ll leave here with him tomorrow. We’re going first to Oxfordshire to pick up Lilianne. I stay with her until she is presented to the Queen.”
Still frowning sulkily, Wilma lowered her backside onto a cushioned chair. “I don’t like what you just told me, Em.”
Blandly, Emily said nothing as she gazed at her friend.
“Oh, drat! Never mind,” Wilma grumped out with an exasperated mutter. “At least tell me what else Leathem had to say? I imagined he may be angry when you turned him down—”
Emily interrupted. “No, Wilma, he was not angry. I explained to him that I needed more time. But he did look…a little perturbed.”
“And?”
“We talked some more. Briefly. I said I would think about it a bit further, and I left it at that.”
“And what else?”
“Oh, Willy!” Emily sighed deeply. “Maybe I was terribly foolish, because…I think I may be falling in love with him. I may even have done so already. But—”
“But what?”
“I don’t believe Leathem is in love with me, Willy. Fond of me, perhaps. But no more than that.”
“Who says he isn’t?” Wilma demanded. “He kissed you! That had to mean something. Whether it’s love or lust, he feels something for you, Emmie. He changed his mind about you when you turned up at the duke’s party. It’s only my humble opinion, but I don’t think Leathem knows what he is feeling right now. He may even deny what he feels. But he did steal a kiss or two from you, am I right?”
“Yes, but, Willy, I am not good enough to be his countess!”
“Oh, Emmie, shush up! That’s not true! Your grandmother and your mother were born to be ladies. And you are as much a lady as they were, so don’t forget that.”
Wilma grabbed her friend’s hands. Her tone was stern when she continued. “I was a country squire’s daughter, remember. And Harry Porter was a London dandy. A viscount, a peer. But he chose me, Em. Think about it. Squire Morrow is your grandfather. He’s the same rank as my father. And your grandmother came from an aristocratic family history. Oh, Em, believe me, my dear, you’ll do fine.”
“Wil—ma!”
“Harry didn’t love me when we said our vows. I didn’t love him, either. Our parents arranged our marriage. But after our wedding night…well, umm, things changed rather quickly.” Wilma’s cheeks bloomed with a noticeably deep shade of pink.
“I love my Harry so much now that I don’t know what I’d do without him.” Wilma passed a palm lightly over her abdomen. “He’s so very sweet and kind, Em.” She giggled. “Besides…he’s lots of fun in bed." Wilma winked. "And he spoils me dreadfully. I couldn’t have married a more satisfactory lover and husband, Emmie. Now, I want you to tell me. Are you in love with the earl?”
“Leathem will always be my hero…no matter what. But…yes, I think I am.”
“Then for heaven’s sake, Em, don’t let him go. Hang onto him. Listen to me, dear friend, sometimes we females must take the bit in our teeth, or the men we love will never know what they’re missing.” Wilma chuckled. “Find more opportunities for him to kiss you, Em. It may be the turning point in your relationship with Leathem. Or better yet, maybe…you should kiss him. If you do, he’ll probably give up and do anything you want.” Wilma giggled. “Let him dangle after you.”
“Good heavens, Willy!” Emily joined in with the viscountess’ giggling. “I never knew you were so naughty!”
“I was naughty, and that’s how I snared Harry!”
Chapter 22
EMILY was dressed for travel when Wilma stuck her head over the threshold. “You’re awake early, Em.”
“I couldn’t sleep,” Emily replied.
“Harry went below to make his farewells. I asked Betsy to order us a pot of hot chocolate and some cinnamon buns. I see she’s already brought a tray up. We can break our fast here before we leave.”
“I’m famished. I didn’t eat much at midnight supper.” Emily grabbed the pot and filled two china cups with steaming chocolate. The women sipped at their breakfast, nibbling at a cinnamon bun before settling back to chat.
Wilma smiled. “I went over what we talked about last night. Leathem will need a carriage if you are to accompany him to Oxfordshire. He arrived on horseback, but his valet came from London in one of his vehicles. So—I asked Harry to offer Gavin’s valet a ride into town with us. Leathem can use his current carriage if he wishes us to oblige him.”
Wilma took a short breath and asked, “Are you all set to travel this morning?”
“Yes. I’m packed and ready to leave.”
Wilma chewed on a fingernail. “I wonder if Leathem is going to travel on horseback all the way to Oxfordshire. Maybe he’ll tie his horse on the back and sit inside with you. Will you be lonesome riding by yourself?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Willy. I didn’t sleep well last night, so I will probably doze the entire way.”
“
I s’pose you had plenty things to keep you awake, hmm? But if the earl rides inside with you, Em, it’s an excellent way for you two to get better acquainted. If you know what I mean.”
Emily saw the mischievous twinkle in Wilma’s eyes.
Wilma asked another silly question. “Maybe you want Betsy to go with you? Do you?”
“Of course not, silly. You’re increasing, Willy, and you’ll need Betsy to help you. Besides, I don’t need a chaperone. I am basically Leathem’s employee. He hasn’t sacked me, nor have I resigned. And I am quite capable of taking care of myself.”
Waiting for Emily to appear, Gavin had made his farewells to the Duke and Duchess and other guests he knew from London. He joined Jordan and his driver in front of Wyndemere’s entrance to discuss the best carriage route to his aunt’s estate. The three men turned when Emily and the Porters descended the wide front steps.
Gavin’s valet stood aside as Harry shook hands with the earl. Leathem bobbed his head toward Wilma and Emily. “You’re on your way, I see.” It’s clear weather for traveling.” Harry then turned to speak to Jordan. “Better hop into our second coach. M’wife’s maid and m’valet are both inside and ready to leave.” Harry continued, “We wanted to make sure Miss Dancy got off with you, Leathem.” He grinned. “Take good care her. She’s m’wife’s bosom bow, you know.”
“Depend upon it, Porter. This carriage isn’t as well-sprung as the traveling coach I left at my aunt’s, but it will have to do for now.” Gavin glanced over at his restive stallion. It was saddled and held by one of the duke’s grooms.
Wilma hugged Emily, whispering more advice in her ear. “Remember what I said, Em. Ask the earl to ride inside with you if he doesn’t do so. Make up something if you must. Tell him you’re bored silly cooped up in the carriage with nobody to converse with. Or whatever. And don’t forget as soon as you’re back in London, I wish to know everything.”
“I propose we get on our way.” Gavin nodded to the Porters, and held out a leather gloved hand to Emily. “Allow me help you inside, Miss Dancy. I’ll be riding alongside the carriage for now.”
* * * *
They left Surrey at ten that morning, and it was now past one o’clock. Emily, indeed, had dozed. Jostled by England’s unpaved, secondary roads when riding in a less than well-sprung carriage, she managed to do so. She finally woke, and thought, Heavens, how long is Leathem going to leave me in here alone? By then, I will be talking to myself or repeating multiplication tables!
When they halted at a coaching inn later to rest the horses, inside Gavin ordered a private parlor, two beef pies, a large loaf of bread and butter, a wedge of cheese, and a bottle of wine.
“I had no idea this will be such a long trip,” Emily said when they sat down to eat. “Where precisely are we going?”
The earl pulled out a folded map from an inside pocket, and showed her where they had been in Surrey, and where they were now going.
“Perhaps I should have gone to London with the Porters. They could have dropped me off at Fielding House, and I could have waited there for you and Lilianne.”
“You could have, but I wished to spend more time with you.”
“Riding alongside the carriage?” Her brow pinched, her words sounding slightly caustic.
“Would you prefer that I ride inside with you?”
“Of course, I would. Inside we…can talk.”
“May I ask what it is that you wish to discuss?”
“I’m not absolutely certain, but there must be something we can discuss to take up the time. Or even amuse us?”
“Very well. I’ll tie Pegasus to the rear and ride inside with you for a few hours.” I can think of a number of things to keep me amused.
“What then, my lord?’
“You are to use my given name, remember?”
“Sorry. I forgot.”
“I don’t think so. I think, other than what you inherited, you have a tiny stubborn streak. Or are you’re just trying to be…pesky? And if so, it seems rather childish of you.”
“Oh? Is that what you think I am? Pesky? Or childish?" Emily retorted, her tone now brusque. “Am I being silly and childish even though I learned recently I turned one and twenty?”
Gavin reached over and grabbed Emily’s bare hand where it lay on the table. She had taken offense from his words, so he thought it best to beg her forgiveness. “I never thought of you as silly or a child. When I look at you, Emily, I know what I see—who you are—and where you belong. Someone quite lovely and worthy to be any man’s countess.” He squeezed her fingers.
The girl who walked into his Mayfair home looking for employment was now radically different. Nor was she the same person he met at the duke’s party.
A total new woman sat across from him.
Emily Dancy morphed into a lovely, confident, delightfully mature lady who no longer worked for wages. Yet she promised to stay on as Lilianne’s governess for the Season before leaving him.
She would fit nicely into his scheme of things, but he had to make her believe so she’d marry him and stay with him as his wife.
Odd sensations rippled along Emily’s skin.
Leathem rose and pulled her chair back, assisting her up from the table. “If you wish my company in the carriage, I shall accompany you when we drive on."
Emily nodded, aware he hadn’t let go of her hand. She didn’t pull away. He smiled as he tucked her hand in the bend of his elbow and led her to the cumbersome vehicle waiting outside.
The next four hours inside the carriage were a bit uncomfortable. Conversation was spotty, although Emily tried to keep her responses lively, even witty, bantering with the earl. Other times she stared out the window, silently, her mind a blank, watching acres of grassy fields and dense, leafy woods rumble past the carriage.
She felt the earl staring at her at times. It made her skin prickle as she rummaged through her brain for topics of conversation to share with him.
“I told you about my life in Toynton-under-Hill. What else do you wish to know about me?”
“You never said how you lived in London with your uncle. Did he abuse you?”
His question both shocked and puzzled her. Emily’s thoughts fell back to the miserable eighteen months she spent with Eustace.
Yes, he abused me! Not physically, but I was sure he would someday if I didn’t do what he wanted—and do it more quickly.
“Eustace n-never struck me. But he s-shouted at me often enough. And cursed me. And…t-threatened to do other nasty things. He often invited his awful friends to his rooms. They scared m-me almost as much as he did.”
“Go slow, Emily. Take your time,” Gavin prompted, softly. “Were they Eustace’s criminal accomplices?”
“I suppose so, but I don’t know for certain. Mostly, they came to gamble.”
“I see. And what did they discuss or do while they were there?”
She remembered one of the men had squeezed her backside when her uncle demanded that she pour their drinks. The man with the badly scarred cheek leered at her, even dropping a penny in her apron’s pocket.
“My uncle told me not to speak to them.”
“It may have been his way of keeping them from doing improper things.”
“Well…yes. Eustace did warn them not to bother me.” Emily’s lips curled, and she drew in a slow breath. “Another thing he told them was—If ye want the milk, ye’d best buy the cow.”
“Damnation!” Gavin growled under his breath. “Did you know what Dancy was hinting at?”
Emily swallowed a troubled breath. “I think so, because just before I sneaked off, m-my uncle lost heavily at cards. That’s when I wondered if he might…well…offer me…as payment.” Emily glanced up at the earl’s frowning countenance. “I knew then that I had to get away.”
“The bloody bastard,” Gavin muttered fiercely. “If I’d known, I would have done more than give him the meager punishment I meted out to h
im in Grafton’s office.”
Emily hurried on. “It’s possible I was mistaken, because later I overheard him say that he was expecting funds soon. Then he could pay what he owed.” She paused for breath. “I think he meant my inheritance. But he could have had a different scheme up his sleeve.”
Emily’s face crumpled after she finished speaking. Her eyes were awash with salty tears. “Why did he hate me so? I-I couldn’t sleep or eat I was so terrified.”
Gavin shifted from the carriage seat where he sat facing her to sit beside her. He wrapped an arm around her slender shoulders to comfort her. “I suspect you’ll never know, my dear, but you don’t ever have to see him again. Not ever. Trust me on that, Emily.” He leaned down and whispered soothing words in her ear.
“Arghh, my lord,” she moaned, her cheeks slick with tears. “Forgive me. I am not usually such a watering pot. I-I’m dreadfully sorry, but it—”
“Emily…Emily, be quiet. Rest your head against my shoulder. You’ve been so damned courageous through everything. Allow me to comfort you.”
Emily sniffled, wiping her tears away as best she could with her fingertips. Leathem’s long arm curved tight around her, pulling her closer. Again, she felt safe. Like when he’d kissed her on the duke’s balcony. Except that time, it was a different kind of kiss, one that was new and exciting. She never told Wilma, but she desperately wanted the earl to kiss her again. She crossed her fingers and prayed he would. Now she pressed a damp cheek against his chest, and snuggled closer. Beneath her ear, Gavin’s heartbeat thumped rhythmically; his warm breath curled beneath the brim of her bonnet and fanned her brow. Done wiping her eyes, she rested her hand in her lap. He slowly picked it up and brought her palm to his lips, holding it there for a long time before he said, “Close your eyes, Emily, and take a nap. We still have a long journey ahead of us. I’ll wake you when we reach our next stop. I can see you’re worn to a nub, so you need to rest.”
Gavin mulled what Emily told him as their carriage rattled over the unpaved roads toward to his aunt’s estate. Traveling to Oxfordshire would take them at least another day, perhaps, more, before they arrived at their destination. He made the trip in two days on horseback with a sturdy young equine galloping beneath him. Now, he was glad he sat inside the carriage with Emily. He could hold her close for a few stolen hours, her lithe, young body fitting against him like a comfortable glove.
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