by KB Winters
It was unnerving to feel eyes on me though, and I knew from a quick glance around that most of them were coming from other women. I’d known that Davis was a very sought after bachelor, but hadn’t realized just how much. Even some of the women whom I knew were married were giving me glares. On one hand, I felt smug especially when he covered my hands with his. On the other hand, I felt terrible that I was taking up his time when he could be with someone who really wanted to fall in love with him. Right then I made a resolution to myself. Tomorrow when I went to see Blake, I would ask him point blank what his intentions were as far as dating and marriage. If he wasn’t looking to fast-track our relationship, then despite how good the sex was and how amazing our chemistry was, I’d tell him I couldn’t be with him.
With Davis, the connection wasn’t as strong, but I knew that I could probably grow to love him in a steady and comfortable way. He would also be able to save my father’s company and keep my mother settled enough to get her off my back.
With a small nod to myself, I relaxed and resolved to enjoy the evening. I had a plan, and I only had to get through tonight. Tomorrow, after speaking to Blake, I would make my decision.
Davis’s hand squeezed mine, and I looked over at him and plastered on my best diva-smile.
Chapter Nine
I opened my eyes against the harsh glare of the sun and groaned at how stiff my body was. I’d arrived home around midnight after a fairly enjoyable evening. The banquet went well, and I’d even enjoyed mingling with some of the other guests. A few of the older men had hit on me after a few too many drinks, but Davis had been perfectly chivalrous and saved me from their perverse clutches. He and I danced and gotten to know one another more, and I felt even more secure in my plan. Being with him might not have been completely exciting and full of chemistry, but it was comfortable in a way I liked.
I pushed myself up into a seated position with a groan. I was still sore from my night with Blake, but I knew a nice hot shower would do wonders. I hadn’t slept with Davis—nor was I going to—though he had given me a chaste kiss when he dropped me off at my door. He hadn’t pushed for more and for that I was definitely thankful. I wouldn’t have wanted to turn him down, but I also hadn’t felt any desire to be intimate with him.
As the hot water hit my skin, I shivered and thought about who I really wanted to be with. When I picked out my clothes, I chose another pair of lacy silk panties and the bra to match.
I sat down at my computer and turned it on. I slid a tank top over my head while it booted up and tried to decide if I wanted to put any makeup on for the day.
“Maybe a little foundation,” I mumbled to myself. If I planned on being in bed most of the day though, I didn’t want to have to worry about my makeup smearing all over my face. The bing of my email inbox drew my attention and I grinned when I saw I had an email from Blake.
‘Taylor,
Apparently, everything between us was a mistake and I have no desire to do it again. You said it was your mother who was the gold-digger, but the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. You are not the type of person I want—or need—in my life. Thanks, but no thanks.
Good luck on your search and good riddance.”
His words were like daggers piercing through every inch of my heart. My body twitched with each sentence as if I was being physically stabbed. This wasn’t what I wanted to happen—this wasn’t what should have happened. I wasn’t the one who wanted a man just for his money.
My hands trembled as I began to type a reply. My thoughts were a maelstrom of anger at my mother and anger at myself for letting her talk me into going out with Davis. I was anxious about how I was going to get Blake to see the truthfulness of my words, and I was guilty for making Davis think, even for a second, that I was serious about him.
“No, no, no,” I muttered as my fingers raced over my keyboard. The plan seemed stupid now and I was ashamed—ashamed because I was trying to play two men at the same time. I was also confused about why Blake had changed his mind so suddenly. He’d seemed so serious about us going out again so I knew it wasn’t because we had slept together.
Or was it?
I tried to calm my breathing when I noticed an attachment on Blake’s email. I moved the cursor to click on it and when it opened, my stomach dropped It was a picture from last night’s charity function. I hadn’t known the event was big enough for the press to report on, but apparently it was—and the picture featured Davis with his arm around me.
“Fuck.”
No wonder Blake had sent me that email. To him it probably looked like I was playing him for a fool and I knew I’d have been pissed had the roles been reversed. I quickly deleted my email before starting another. I decided to come clean completely about how I felt about him and the situation my family was in and begged him to reconsider as I knew we had something between us that could be amazing. I sent up a silent prayer and clicked send before standing up from my computer table. I looked around frantically as if hoping a sign would appear telling me what to do. Another ping from my computer made me turn back around. I leaned in close and clicked on the new email that appeared. My eyes widened when I read the message.
‘Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently: Delivery error: This user does not exist’
Chapter Ten
The sound of my alarm made me wince as I was hurled from my pleasant dream into reality. I groaned and scrubbed my hand across my face. Being awake was the last thing I wanted, but I knew I had to meet Gigi and Constance for lunch in a few hours. I’d been hiding out from the world in the two weeks since the charity banquet. The local magazines had not only blasted the picture of Davis and me, but they had also written up stories speculating on our possible relationship. I hadn’t realized how big of a deal Davis was outside of my small social circle so I was wholly unprepared for the backlash. There had even been vague gossip about a company buyout that brought my late father’s name into it. Even though the buyout of my family’s company was exactly what my mother wanted and what it needed, it still hurt to read, or hear people talk about my father. Then there was Blake.
His email—brusque and hurtful—had hit me right when I thought I had a handle on things. I’d made a decision. There were plans and talks and discussions I’d wanted to have with him. I’d emailed him twice since then, both emails bouncing back. Each one was a deeper stab to my feelings and for the first time ever, I regretted sleeping with him. If he’d just been a face or an online guy I talked to, I could have used him as fantasy material but remained unattached. Now, all I could do was flash back to the one night we had together. His phantom touches still made my knees weak and my dreams were filled with what could have been. It was torture, but even then I didn’t want it to stop. If it stopped, then it would be like he was never there.
My cell phone rang, startling me even further out of sleep and I reached over to connect the call. I brought it to my ear and coughed to clear my throat.
“Hello?”
“Taylor, it’s Gigi.”
I smiled slightly at her cheery voice. “Hey Gi. I’m awake I promise.”
“Yeah, sure you are. Listen, Constance and I have been talking about your situation and we think we have a solution.”
“A solution?” I asked with a sigh. I pushed myself up until I was sitting with my back against the headboard. “A solution would be finding a time machine so I can go back in time and not be an idiot.”
Gigi snorted. “Sorry hun, a little short on time machines today. Try again tomorrow. No, we have another solution. You know how I’m leaving tomorrow to go to a wedding in Seattle?”
I looked up at the ceiling and tried to think. “I vaguely remember you saying something about it, but what does that have to do with me?”
“Everything,” she exclaimed. “The wedding in Seattle is a week long, which would be plenty of time for you.”
“Plenty of time for me to do what?” I scratched my ear trying to follow her logic. “Your
brain is seriously moving way too crazy for me to follow right now.”
“Jesus woman! Aren’t you a Yale graduate? Listen to me carefully. Tell your mom you’re coming with me as my guest to the wedding.”
“But aren’t you taking Constance?”
“She doesn’t need to know that. Oh wait, scratch that. Of course my mother will probably open her flap and say something. Tell her we’re all going for the wedding and for a girls’ weekend before you decide to settle down with Davis.”
I was silent as I tried—and failed—to catch up to her train of thought. “Gi, I am so not firing on all cylinders right now.”
“…Have you had any coffee yet?”
“No.”
She hummed. “Makes sense. Look, we’ll tell the wicked witch that you’re coming with us to the wedding in Seattle, but instead we’ll get you a ticket to fly to Alaska so you can find your sexy lumberjack and talk some sense into him.”
My heart jumped at the mention of Blake and I was suddenly completely awake. The thought of being away from my mother for a week was already tempting, but then add on the thought of seeing him again and I was ready to pack my bags and board the plane.
“But what if I can’t find him? Alaska is a big state.”
“Didn’t you say he told you which city he lived in—one of the major ones? How hard could it be to find a six-foot-seven-inch-tall lumberjack with massive arms and hair long enough to rival your own?”
I blinked. “That’s a good question. But I don’t think he’s that tall.”
“Listen, think about it, okay? I know Davis is a nice guy and he’s good-looking, but do you really just want to settle for being comfortable for the rest of your life or do you want to be head-over-heels?”
I sighed again. I knew she was right, but truthfully, I was terrified of being rejected again. It wasn’t the first time some man had called me manipulative or a gold-digger. Many times people would see me or my friends and think we were nothing more than spoiled rich kids with no aspirations other than to marry other spoiled rich kids and continue the vicious cycle. I couldn’t say they were completely wrong. Some men and women from our circle were exactly like that, though I rarely hung around them. Neither Gigi nor I had ever wanted that to be our life. Her boyfriend came from less than humble beginnings and obviously I’d dated whoever caught my attention. So why was I hesitating now?
“Yes. I do. I want to be head-over-heels,” I replied quietly. Saying it made my heart beat faster at the knowledge that going with what I truly wanted could spell the end of my father’s company. I couldn’t deny it any longer though. I didn’t want to just settle. “I want to be so in love that we make other people sick with it.” My voice rang out stronger with each word I spoke. “Head-over-heels-cheesy in love.”
“Good.”
I sat up straighter. “I want to be that couple people write about and marvel at sixty years later. I don’t want to be a trophy trotted out for public display.”
“Perfect! So you’ll go then? You’ll take Constance and my advice and go find Blake in Alaska?”
I took a deep breath. This could turn out to either be the best idea of my life or the second worst mistake I’d ever make. “I’ll go.”
“You’ll go where?”
I jumped at the sound of my mother’s voice and looked up to find her standing in the doorway of my bedroom. She looked surprisingly sober given the amount of alcohol she’d taken to consuming on a daily basis.
“Why do you come in my room unannounced?” I bit out in annoyance. I flung my blankets off and stood up beside my bed. I could hear Gigi sighing on the other end of the phone line and turned my attention briefly back to her. “Gi, I have to go, but I’ll meet you guys at the airport tomorrow.”
“Meet us at my apartment, we’re going to take a car there. And call me later after Mommy Dearest has gotten off your case.”
“Fat chance that’ll ever happen,” I replied. I ignored my mother in favor of walking into my en-suite bathroom. “I’ll give you a call later though. Maybe I’ll come over tonight so we can get an early start tomorrow.” I glanced at my face in the mirror and noted how pale I was. My skin normally suffered from the lack of being able to get a true tan, but now I just looked unhealthy. I made a note to get outside today and try to remedy that.
After I disconnected the call, I grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste. “Is there a reason you’re here, Mother?” I kept my voice pitched perfectly even though I truly wanted to do nothing more than resort to yelling.
“Do I need to have a reason to go into one of the rooms in my own home?”
I rolled my eyes to the ceiling, but didn’t bother answering. No doubt she was in one of her ‘blame everything on Taylor’ moods which meant nothing I said or did would dissuade her from being an absolute beast for the next few hours. I turned on the water and began brushing my teeth deliberately, ignoring her presence.
“Are you ignoring me?”
I smirked slightly, though I knew she wouldn’t have been able to see it behind my hand motions. I spit in the sink and cupped some water in my hand before answering. “Now why would I do something like that?” The question was intended to piss her off and when I glanced over, her expression said I’d hit the mark.
“Child, you are absolutely unbelievable. I thought for sure meeting someone as cultured and upstanding as Davis would have helped straighten out your little attitude problem.”
I gargled some water in my mouth before spitting into the sink again as loudly as I could. I reached out to grab my hand towel and blotted the leftover water from my face. “Shame,” I replied turning to face her. “Seems my little attitude is only a problem for you. Davis seemed to find me perfectly poised and charming.” I pushed past her and walked into my closet. Surveying my luggage choices, I figured the two largest would do. I didn’t know what the weather was like in Alaska, but I was guessing cold. I figured packing all of the Ugg boots I owned would probably be the best idea.
“If he found you charming then why haven’t you gone out with him again?”
I sighed softly, but ignored her in favor of opening my suitcase and laying it flat on the bed. I tossed all of the boots I owned inside and also put a nice pair of heels in as well—just in case. I wasn’t sure what people did for fun up there or if there were even any nice places to go, but I wanted to be prepared. I moved to grab the second suitcase, but was stopped by my mother stepping in front of me.
“What are you doing?”
I gave her a look. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m packing some stuff to go on a fucking trip, now move.”
“Don’t be vulgar,” my mother snapped. I rolled my eyes at her again before reaching past her to grab the suitcase I needed. Her hand gripped my arm and stopped me. I looked down at her hand before looking at her again.
“Are you going to spank me? I think I’m a little old for that.”
“Don’t be crass. I only want to know where you are going and with whom.”
I smirked meanly. “Trust me when I say this is not being crass.” I jerked my arm away and took hold of the suitcase before turning away and laying it open beside its twin. I decided on a couple of good jeans and placed those in before standing up and walking over to where I kept my thickest sweaters.
“Well?”
“Well, what?” I asked flippantly. I knew full well what she wanted, but I couldn’t resist making her squirm. It was the least I could do after being blamed and pestered for years. I’d take my delight in it—as little as it may be—wherever I could.
“Well, where the hell are you going and who are you going with?”
I glanced at her over my shoulder. “Now who is being vulgar, Mother?” I snorted. “If you must know, Gigi invited Constance and me to attend a wedding with her in Seattle. We’re going to stay for a week.”
“Oh yes, I heard about that wedding,” she replied. “I can’t believe the last heir to the Marconi fortune is marrying a common school
teacher.” I could practically hear the sneer in her voice at the thought of someone with money marrying someone without.
“Well it’s called love. You do remember what that is?” I asked. I didn’t bother to turn around. I figured the sooner I got packed, the sooner I could get out and away from her. “I find it sad that you’d belittle someone’s partner just because they may not have a lot of money or come from a wealthy family. Does true love mean so little to you, or are you really just a gold-digger?” I opened the drawer beside me and pulled out some panties and bras tossing those in the suitcase as well. The entire conversation was actually pissing me off. I stood up fully and finally turned around to face her.
If my mother was startled to find herself face-to-face with me, she hid it well. If not for the fact that I was her daughter and used to seeing through her bullshit, I’d have thought she pulled it off. I stared at her wondering how it was possible that I was born to someone who cared so little for me. It was such a lonely feeling.
“What?” She asked. She folded her hands across her chest as if to protect herself from whatever it was she saw in my expression. I wanted to yell at her, but I didn’t. I was so tired of fighting with her and that exhaustion is what truly made up my mind. I was going to find Blake and somehow get him to believe that I wanted him and just him. I didn’t want to live my life regretting the fact that I could’ve had love and gave it all away for a paycheck to save a company I cared nothing about. My brother had defied the family and gone on to find his happiness.
Now it was my turn.
Chapter Eleven
I sat down on the bed in my hotel room and let out a deep breath. The past twelve hours had been a whirlwind of travel and I needed to take a moment to get my breath back and clear my head. My last conversation with Mommy Dearest had made me even more determined to locate Blake and prove to him that I wasn’t the type of girl he thought I was.