"Bray."
I jumped at the sound of Paul's voice and my head shot up. "Yes?"
"I'll come and pick you up in a few hours and we'll go see Nova." He reached for the door, and I watched, unable to even speak as he slipped out.
Once the door shut I swore. I leaped to my feet and paced the room. "What the hell is wrong with me?" I said, turning to Jackson. He stared up at me with a grin. I rested my hands on my hips. "I can't believe I stroked his chest! Your Daddy hasn't even been gone a year and look at me." I fell to my hands and knees in front of him. "What do I do, kid?"
He stood, wobbled, and sank back onto his butt again.
"Great, I'm asking for advice from a baby." I sat back and helped him to his feet so he could practice walking. "This is ridiculous. I'm just horny or on the rebound or something, and I'm not thinking straight. That's it, my feelings for Forrest are just being transferred over."
Jackson took several steps on his own and I smiled. "Thanks for the chat kid."
*
When I opened the door, Paul in his cowboy gear, to my relief. The sheriff uniform turned me on as much as his cowboy clothes turned me off.
"Feeling better?" he asked.
I nodded, smiling. "We've been working for hours so the house is mostly back in order." I called up the stairs, "I'm going to see Nova. I'll be back in a few hours."
"Bye!" Mom and Dad's voices echoed down the stairs.
Paul talked most of the way. It seemed most of the morning the parents of the boarding school kids filled his office asking questions about the security of the town and offering suggestions on how to improve it. He and Clint smiled and nodded the whole time repeating over and over, "We'll take that into consideration."
When the parents finally left to do the outbound information meeting, they both breathed a sigh of relief.
"You're far more patient than me," I said. "I think I would have screamed and ripped my hair out."
He laughed. "Well I'm fairly sure I have a few more greys than I did this morning." He pushed his hat back and ran his fingers through his dark hair. "What do you think?"
There wasn't a single grey. "Oh most definitely."
He smiled and pulled his hat back down.
We arrived and I hurried into the station. The officers recognized me immediately and pointed me in the right direction, Paul hot on my heels.
I turned down a corridor and came face to face with a female detective. She looked me over quickly. "Mrs. Miller?"
"Yes. I need to see Nova."
She nodded and lifted her coffee to her lips. "Follow me."
She led me into a dimly lit room where, through a window, I saw Nova sat with a man in a suit sat facing her. He munched on a sandwich while she stared down at her hands in her lap.
"Mrs. Miller," the woman said. "Nova still refuses to talk. We've tried everything, but without her speaking, we can't prove her innocent like you say. We're about to try one last thing, but if she doesn't talk, we'll have to charge her with the murder of your husband."
I shook my head. "No. But she didn't do it."
"Then who did?" She wasn't contemptuous, but her voice was gentle, firm, and sympathetic. "There's no evidence anyone else was there. I'm sorry, Mrs. Miller, but facts are facts, so unless something new comes to light, Nova will find herself in a world of trouble."
I turned toward the window and stared at Nova, chewing my thumb. "Please talk. Just one word, a name or something. Please, Nova."
The man in the room finished his sandwich and stretched as someone brought a file in to him. He nodded, took it, and set it on the small table. "Nova, I want to show you something."
She didn't even flinch.
The man opened the file and I gasped. Paul caught my arm as I stumbled back and the woman touched my shoulder. "You haven't seen those?"
I shook my head.
The man placed the first photo down of Forrest's body twisted and shoved into the beaver's lodge. I covered my face as the urge to vomit overwhelmed me.
"Do you recognize this, Nova?"
I looked up at her. A tear ran down her cheek.
"It's a yes or no question."
She shook her head.
"How about these?" He pulled out pictures of Forrest's back dotted with puncture wounds and finally one of his slit throat.
I buried my face into Paul's chest. I couldn't look. "Tell me what she does," I said.
"She's crying," he answered.
"Nova?" the man said.
"She shook her head and now she's covering her face."
"Nova, how did Forrest Miller get these wounds?"
There was a long silence, the Paul whispered. "She just crying and shaking her head."
"I have to go to her," I said. "I have to tell her to talk. She has to talk."
"Nova, did you do this to Mr. Miller?"
"She shook her head," Paul said.
"Do you realize you're the only person keeping the truth away from his wife and son?"
I spun around to see her face. Her whole body trembled as pain filled her eyes.
"Why did you kill him?"
Her eyes widened and she shook her head.
"Then who did? And how?"
She waved her hands around in the air and I stared, my jaw gaping. "What's she doing?"
"We thought maybe you knew," the woman said. "She does it all the time, but when we ask her to write it down or draw it, she flat out refuses."
"I have no idea." I watched her, knowing she was trying to communicate something, but I had no idea what.
"Mrs. Miller, let's talk." The woman touched my shoulder and led me out into a small conference room.
She watched Paul as he followed in after me and asked, "I presume you're the sheriff of Papina?"
He nodded. "Yes ma'am. This has shocked the town and I wish to see it through to the end, even if murder is out of my jurisdiction."
"You're not trying any heroics by investigating on your own are you?"
"No ma'am. I'm just here to support Mrs. Miller and keep up to date for the town and for the sheriff on the Res."
She motioned for us all to sit. Once we were comfortable she began. "I am the new lead detective on this case. It seemed the last detective was getting too involved. He was convinced there was a huge conspiracy and cover up between you, Mrs. Miller, and Nova, and he claimed you, sheriff, had an unhealthy investment in the situation. Now, I understand you live in a small town and everyone is into everyone else's business, but I'd appreciate it if you keep me up to date with all interpersonal relationships involved with this case, including this pending adoption." She tossed a folder down in front of me.
I didn't bother opening it, I knew exactly what was inside. "Nova needed me. No one else wanted her, even the tribe. But I knew Forrest wouldn't abandon her, so I took her in."
She nodded and slid the folder back toward her. "Tell me about your husband, Mrs. Miller. What kind of man was he?"
I smiled as I remembered. "Forrest was a good man, as good as they come. He gave and gave and never expected anything in return. Sometimes I wondered why he loved me, but then he'd smile and I saw the man who loved me completely, faults and all. My college friends thought he was a bit 'holier than thou' with his anti-drinking soap box, but I understood where it came from, and I loved him more for it."
I paused and stroked my hair. "When we got married, reality set in and we fought like cats and dogs for the first year, but never once did we talk about divorce. We knew if we were patient and stuck through, everything would be fine. And it was. That second year we settled into a groove and we were so happy, and near the end of it, I fell pregnant. I don't think any man could have been more proud when he found out. He told everyone who would listen.
"Then, a few months later, he got his dream job. He was so happy. He told me over and over all his dreams were coming true; a family of his own, the perfect job, and soon we'd have a beautiful home to raise our family in. And for a moment, everything
was perfect. But then…" I trailed off and hung my head. "But then he was gone, and no one can tell me why."
A long silence fell as tears ran down my cheeks.
Paul's hand rested over mine, but I pulled away to wipe my tears. I looked up at the detective. "I don't know what else to do. I thought I was being cooperative, but then this morning my house was raided and torn apart."
She scowled. "Yes. I'm sorry about that. He knew I was coming, so got out there before I arrived."
"It was hard enough packing Forrest's things away once, but to see them strewn around like that… my parents had to put them away again for me."
She didn't answer as she examined my face. But finally she sighed. "Mrs. Miller, what do you think happened?"
I shrugged. "I have no idea. Maybe for some reason Nova came out to the town. I know her foster family wasn't nice to her by things Forrest told me, so she may have come looking for him, got herself in trouble, and he found her and tried to help her." I nodded, liking that scenario. It sounded like Forrest. "Yes. Yes, he'd do that."
She tilted her head. "But what kind of trouble? Who else would have been out there that day? It was freezing cold and snow came over during the night."
"I… I don't know."
She pressed her fingers together, never breaking her gaze from me. "Mrs. Miller, I understand that you loved your husband and believed in the same things he did, but maybe Nova is guilty of something you don't want to think she could do. Maybe in the heat of the moment she lashed out, then panicked and tried to cover her tracks, and now feels guilty for it. She definitely feels guilty for something, I can see that even without her saying a word. I'm sorry, but this adoption is being placed on hold indefinitely and we are charging Nova with voluntary manslaughter."
My head snapped up. "What?"
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Miller, I know how much you want to believe she did nothing, but…" she shook her head. "She won't talk."
She stood and glanced at Paul. "Sheriff, do you have a moment?"
Paul nodded and followed her out.
I leaned forward, my elbows on the table, clasping my hair. Nova needed to talk. Did she have no idea what any of it meant? Was she trying to protect me? The detective tore into her, using her silence as proof of her guilt. I wanted to scream at her to talk, especially when she teared up when they showed her the photos of Forrest's body. I just wished she'd say something, anything, the name of the person who did it would be all she'd need to utter.
Paul soon returned and sat beside me. He touched my back. "I just don't know what to do anymore."
"Me either," I whispered. "I'm no lawyer, all I know is she didn't do it. I can feel it in my gut."
"I have my doubts too, but without her talking, all the evidence speaks for her and it's pointing right at her."
I leaned back onto his shoulder. "I just want it to be over. It's been going on for months and I just want to let Forrest rest, to remember him and think of him as he was, not how his life ended."
He stroked my hair. "We all do."
I shut my eyes, enjoying the safety of his arm around me. I knew he felt pain too, and an image of him crying in secret flashed through my mind.
He shifted and looked down at me. "I'll see if we can take Nova home. It's been a long day."
I nodded and straightened so he could stand. He left me, and I leaned forward, grasping at my hair. "Forrest, I don't know what to do," I whispered. "I wish you could tell me." I covered my mouth as a sob wrenched itself free. I missed him so much, but I just wanted to let him go so the pain would pass. But the circles and chasing tails made me crazy and my grief dragged out endlessly.
A few minutes passed, and Paul emerged with Nova, a tracker around her ankle. I stared at it, my jaw hanging, and Paul said, "She's on house arrest. She's considered high risk of flight... with her history."
I sighed and stood, resting my hand on her shoulder. "Nova?"
She stared at her feet.
I stroked her hair. "Nova, I know you didn't hurt Forrest, so please, please tell them what happened."
Her body quivered as tears streamed down her face.
I tucked her hair behind her ear. "Oh Nova, let's go home."
The ride home was dead silent.
Paul pulled up into our driveway, and Nova rushed straight inside. I watched her go and rubbed my eyes. "I think I'll call it a day."
He nodded. "I have to set up the perimeter monitors."
We climbed out and I hurried inside. The stroller was gone, and so were my parents. Nova's music blared down the stairs, so I walked up and tapped on her door. "Nova?"
The door flew open and she stared up at me.
"Can we talk?"
She shook her head and slammed the door in my face. She turned up the music, but I still heard her sobs. My heart ached for her, but if I pressed her, I'd only make matters worse. She'd spent days being interrogated, she didn't need me to do it too.
I plodded down the stairs, discouraged and heavyhearted. Exhausted, I collapsed on the couch in the front room and saw a missed call on my phone. Megan. I called. "Hey did you wanna talk?"
"I'm out right now with my arms a bit full," she said in a bright voice. "I can drop by in about an hour. Is that okay?"
"That's fine," I sighed, not really wanting the company right then anyway.
"How did it go?" she asked, the brightness in her voice dimming.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Okay. Well, if you need some time I can visit tomorrow instead?"
"Maybe. That wouldn't upset you?"
"No, hon. I understand. If you do need something I'm just a phone call away."
"Thanks, Megan. Bye." I hung up and let my arm fall on the couch. My head throbbed and Nova's loud music didn't help.
The door clicked, and Paul poked his head in. "Hey, you should know where her perimeter is."
I nodded and slipped off the couch.
He led me to the four corners of the yard and explained she would get three beeps for warning if she crossed over, before an alarm would sound and he or Clint would be called in, soon followed by the Feds.
"I guess no trips to the store or Megan's for her anymore." I plodded up onto the back porch, sinking down into the armchair.
"You look exhausted." He sat in the chair beside me.
I scoffed. "I'm worn out. Today just feels like it's been one thing after another, and the worst part is, I feel guilty I haven't been putting something together for Jackson's birthday next month. What kind of person does that, worries about a birthday party when her husband's a victim of an unsolved murder and she's housing his prime suspect?"
My head fell into my hands. "Most of my friends are all still partying their lives away, while I'm here living like this."
His hand rested on the back of my head, and his fingers ran through my hair. To my surprise, his touch made me shudder. I turned my head to look at him.
He smiled, and brushed my hair back from my face. "You worry because you're the kind of person who cares with your whole heart. You want what's best for your son, and you know Forrest would want that too. You still want to do things that make Forrest happy, so you want to raise his son for him while also continuing his work with Nova. There aren't many people who love others that much and fight so hard for them."
He smiled and leaned toward me, brushing his knuckles against my cheek. "You're so strong, and such a fighter, and I just love you so much."
I gasped and leaned back. "What?"
His gaze dropped. "I love you, Bray. I know I probably shouldn't, but I do. I'm not going to expect anything from you. I know you're still grieving and dealing with everything, but I wanted you to know that I'm helping you not because I feel I owe it to Forrest, but because I want to spend time with you."
He stood and slipped his hat on, staring across the yard. "If you have any questions about the perimeter, just give me a call." And just like that, he walked off the porch and out the side gate.
I sat staring at the gate, my jaw gaping. I couldn't move, I couldn't even think properly. Had he really just confessed that he loved me?
I didn't know how long I sat there, but when the gate opened again I jumped, my heart fluttering for a moment, before Mom pushed the stroller through.
She smiled across at me and nodded upstairs. "You got Nova back then."
I blushed, wondering why I'd hoped Paul had returned. "Yes, sort of. She's under house arrest so can't leave." I hurried to help her and Dad while explaining the details to them.
Chapter Sixteen
The teachers at the boarding school organized a day of sports and recreation on the abandoned campus. I wished I could bring Nova; she hadn't even left her room for more than a few moments for meals and showers.
Mom and Dad left again, as they could no longer take time off work, and promised to fly up for the weekend of Jackson's birthday. That was several weeks ago, and now Jackson's birthday was only a week away. The summer flew by, and I couldn't believe it when my one year anniversary of living in Papina passed.
I stood with Megan while our boys played with a ball in front of us. The whole town was out on the fields playing soccer, Frisbee, softball, basketball, track and field, and on a lower level, the archery had been set up.
"Is this a regular thing?" I asked Megan.
She nodded. "It's a little later this year, but why do you think they were so efficient at dividing us all into teams?"
I smirked, thinking about the five minutes it took to divide the whole town into four teams.
"Do you want to do anything?" she asked. "I can watch Jackson for a few minutes."
"No, it's okay."
Paul ran to second base. When he reached it and pulled to a halt, he glanced across at me.
I averted my eyes. I'd been avoiding him for weeks, but although he'd given me space, he was always not far away to help me when I needed it.
"Well, to be honest, I want to force Clint to do the three legged race with me in about an hour, so I was hoping you'd say yes so I wouldn't feel guilty about dumping Donny on you."
Looking at Megan, I laughed. "Fine. I'll go find something to do."
I wandered off, not really sure what I felt like doing. I gave shot put a try, but ended up feeling like an idiot with my lack of technique, so moved on. Eventually, I found myself looking down at the archery. Yes, archery. Forrest taught me with his handmade bow, and I could actually do it. It would be nice to do something he'd done with me.
Papina (Bearville County) Page 13